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Date: October 7, 2022
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That's a good point, but if he wants like a week to think about it?
I guess trying to find the balance is important but also i do know some men have changed for the right woman.
I think you would be wise to reach out to the woman who sent you the naked pics and stuff and ask her what's been going on. Not in an accusatory way, but because you're curious and want to know just how bad it is.
She will likely tell you things your boyfriend would never admit to. I guarantee it goes deeper than some pics one time.
Also, leave him. His story will change so many times to try and find a way back into your heart. It's all a scam. You can do better, and you deserve it.
kind of ungrateful. I am an immigration and If I had any help getting myself on my own feet, I would have been grateful. I hope you build your boundaries and stick to them. sounds like these relatives are naked to please and this js time to move on.
I used to think like you until it happened to me. I was deeply concerned and afraid of the feeling, so I told my partner at the time immediately after I realized it. He asked me if I loved him, I said yes, he asked if I wanted to leave him, I said no, he said “then there’s no problem”. The feelings went away in 2 or maybe 3 weeks. I didn’t cheat under any definition of the word. I was just really stressed and I think that my brain was just trying to slow me down.
Not everyone hides their emotions from their partners until they are ripping their clothes of or until they get caught. Some people just tell their partners more about their inner lives. Your suggestion of cheating and hiding could be possible but to me it sounds like overreaching.
I'm sorry…
This 13 years older than you man..
1) for some reason is unable to purchase his own gun.
2) wishes to provide said gun to children for animal killing purposes
3) felt entitled enough to your identity that he served you documents to sign without even consulting you first
4) throws a tantrum when you disagree with him
5) is so emotionally unstable that you get anxiety at the thought of such disagreements becoming arguments
Listen to me and listen good.. not only do you need to run, you need to fucking hide.
There is a reason he can't access his own firearm.
There is a reason that women his own age are not interested/interesting.
There is a reason that he gets aggressive when he's told no.
I wonder what the sleeping arrangement is
You know that working on yourselves is the key. If she is open to doing that and addressing her anxiety then set your new boundaries and goals, timed ones like 3 months to review the situation.
Outline what you need going forward, communication is really important as is honesty and trust.
If you want to go to the theatre then be clear that it isn't about getting back together. Don't give false hope. But yes go if you want to.
You could go to therapy yourself to learn boundaries and communication. There is also guides online to boundaries and healthy relationships.
It doesn't sound totally like this relationship won't work it depends on her openness to working on her anxiety. Habits of behaviour can take a long time to change just be aware. Also that you have them as well so you could both work at that together.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
Ok so my husband (M35) and I (F33) have a disagreement and I think is a good idea to ask here what do other people think. We were talking about expectations and things we would like in our relationship. So for context: been married for 4 months, together for 2 years. Before our wedding not to long ago we were messing around and I said that I could see my self committing to giving him oral sex at least once a month. Time passed and that hasn’t been the case. Why? I don’t know sometimes I guess we just skip that part and move to regular sex.
Today talking about things we would like he said he would like for me to give him oral sex when he asks for it ( to be fair he didn’t said “whenever” just like, sometimes), but just the oral, like without any other sexual act. I said that if I’m feeling like it maybe i would but that since for me is a sexual act I’m not gonna do it if I don’t feel like it. He said that for him is not sexual, is like a foot massage (my words). And that he would like it without any other type of sexual act and just like a gift from me. So like a favor. But idk it rubs me the wrong way, doing something that for me IS sexual if im not feeling like it, kind of SA in a way. He doesn’t see it like that. So reddit, what do you think? Much appreciate the feedback from men and women alike. I may show him the responses and if anyone has some questions just ask.
Edit: adding more context one time we were chilling and he asked me for a hand job, i told him no because I wasn’t feeling it (i wasn’t feeling sexual) he also said it was more like a massage. He says it just something that helps him to relieve some stress.
Edit 2: so to clarify some things I’ve been reading in the comments:
1) I have a higher libido than him (he has said that himself) and I would say our sex life is amazing, although lately we’ve been fighting so it hasn’t been that great (the last week) I think that maybe he was letting his frustration get the best of him in this particular circumstance.
2) He is a GREAT and generous lover, and I think I am too. I have no problem with him asking for something, communication is an important part of a healthy relationship. My issue is that if I’m not feeling it I should be able to decline and his response was “well then I’ll just won’t ever ask if you’re just going to refuse me”. Which I never said I would do EVERY single time, just if I’m not feeling it.
3) I really want to show him this tread but I don’t want to hurt his feelings, there were a lot of comments that were suggesting that he would cheat or other mean stuff. He is a great man I just don’t agree with him in this particular issue. Thanks for keeping the comments respectful towards him and me.
English is not my first language so sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes
Right, they absolutely need to have a discussion. But it definitely seems like OP is willing to compromise on the expense/frills of the wedding and instead of having a conversation about what is reasonable or how they could be thrifty and make it work, her partner is shutting her down and saying anything that involves her whole family is “big” and that means it's excessive and a dumb use of funds.
And there's a big difference to me between saying, “ok, but what does 'not fancy' mean to you” and claiming that she said she wanted a big fancy wedding when she specifically said she did not need it to be flashy. That's where I'm frustrated that people aren't actually reading the post.
I don’t even tickle children.
That is rough.. he is more responsible to his own wife than he is to some other woman's husband
Have you ever expoerienced this before?
Going to the movies is a good time for BOTH of you, apparently he doesnt enjoy spending time with you unless you are on your knees sucking him off
This is NOT how most men act at all
Stop wasting your time on a guy who gets angry and snappy if you dont drop and suck the moment he demands it
This is NOT a good man
Dump him already
Move on, do you really disrespect yourself this much?