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It's generally bad advice to say “sleep with someone you don't want to sleep with,” haha…
I would say it's justifiable to not want to sleep with someone who sleeps with someone you know. It can introduce all kinds of, like, competitiveness and comparison and whatever. It affects all the relationships involved.
That's the rub with setting boundaries or whatever. I'm someone, I do think it's technically a punishment and therefore to that extent controlling to say, “I don't want to sleep with someone who sleeps with my friends, if you sleep with my friends I won't sleep with you,” my point is just you're justified in doing that. Some people want to say, “you're free to do what you want, but everyone else is free to do what they want, too,” where they're trying SUPER HOT to say “We're all just free freedom lovers loving freedom,” but I think we've got to be realistic that we're all kind of beholden to other people's control of our lives. If you play a multiplayer game with any concept of self-preservation or just general goal-orientation, you're not free to do whatever you want–you've got to be aware of how other players affect your game. You're not in total control.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
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We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
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So like apart from the relationship stuff. You should probably be seeing some what of a specialist for these issues. This is a LOT for your body to be going through, and probably a LOT of risk to keep doing it.
Everyone keeps bitching at OP for it “not being her business.”
She literally treated the girlfriend as an actual woman – the goal of many trans folk, to pass! – and got told off for interacting with her as such. Under normal circumstances, no, it wouldnt be her business, but OP is 100% allowed to call out their sister here. She’s being yelled at for not knowing something that she wasn’t told.
Call it an unfortunate circumstance but this whole situation started innocently and just spiralled out of control with the parents’ actions to blame. Lets focus the real disappointment on the assholes and stop trying to point fingers at innocent parties.
And this goes for you too OP- your parents are shit and if nothing else, you’ll be guilty by association for sticking around them. Otherwise, quit blaming yourself for everything and making yourself into the scapegoat for this whole mess. Instead of jumping down the internet rabbit hole about all the ways you were in the wrong, just listen to the girlfriend’s opinions in this particular situation, and accept the relevant facts.
Everyone keeps bitching at OP for it “not being her business.”
She literally treated the girlfriend as an actual woman – the goal of many trans folk, to pass! – and got told off for interacting with her as such. Under normal circumstances, no, it wouldnt be her business, but OP is 100% allowed to call out their sister here. She’s being yelled at for not knowing something that she wasn’t told.
Call it an unfortunate circumstance but this whole situation started innocently and just spiralled out of control with the parents’ actions to blame. Lets focus the real disappointment on the assholes and stop trying to point fingers at innocent parties.
And this goes for you too OP- your parents are shit and if nothing else, you’ll be guilty by association for sticking around them. Otherwise, quit blaming yourself for everything and making yourself into the scapegoat for this whole mess. Instead of jumping down the internet rabbit hole about all the ways you were in the wrong, just listen to the girlfriend’s opinions in this particular situation, and accept the relevant facts.
Your wife needs counselling, immediately. She's going to push some very unhealthy ideals onto your kid. Growing up with a parent whose worst fear is you getting overweight is far more damaging than growing up with an overweight parent.
This wasn't A Thing until you made it A Thing. You felt entitled to information that wasn't yours, and then you caused a squabble that resulted in the entire family taking ten steps back in the progress they made. Do you feel it was worth it?
You can’t get water from a stone anymore than you can get this guy to care about his behaviour towards you.
You could try to talk to him but he’s already made it very clear that he doesn’t care about you and your feelings.
That birthday was a disaster. You know it and your friends know it.
You’re asking for the impossible- you’re asking for magic words to make this jerk not a jerk.
Don’t gaslight yourself into believing that you’re a whiny baby. You’re not. You’re a normal human girl.
Don’t get on the back of a motorcycle with a drunk driver. You literally could have been killed, or been catastrophically injured and have to live! with those injuries your whole life.
Dont share bank accounts with a wedding contract sweetie. Separate your money now and move it all to your own account. Just transfer the amount you pay in rent in everything into the joint account once a month.
You can't control her actions. It sounds like she needs a more steady way to manage her BPD. If she can't/won't do that you need to make an ultimatum and stick with it.
I'm assuming she is aware of how her outbursts affect you?
Gonna go against the grain here and say James…probably didn't take the dress.
He was supportive of your plan.
He freaked out when he realized his fiance was calling off the wedding. That's normal, especially since he was pinning all his hopes on healing happening after you're married.
It's normal for you to freak out too! Honestly, your dad's side of the family is who has said they had a problem with your choice. Start there.
that kinda makes your mom a predator gang
Jesus, this again???
Hello /u/b0nzoX. We do not allow submissions that involve minors. Should you have any questions, or if you feel this was in error please contact our mod team.
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It's generally bad advice to say “sleep with someone you don't want to sleep with,” haha…
I would say it's justifiable to not want to sleep with someone who sleeps with someone you know. It can introduce all kinds of, like, competitiveness and comparison and whatever. It affects all the relationships involved.
That's the rub with setting boundaries or whatever. I'm someone, I do think it's technically a punishment and therefore to that extent controlling to say, “I don't want to sleep with someone who sleeps with my friends, if you sleep with my friends I won't sleep with you,” my point is just you're justified in doing that. Some people want to say, “you're free to do what you want, but everyone else is free to do what they want, too,” where they're trying SUPER HOT to say “We're all just free freedom lovers loving freedom,” but I think we've got to be realistic that we're all kind of beholden to other people's control of our lives. If you play a multiplayer game with any concept of self-preservation or just general goal-orientation, you're not free to do whatever you want–you've got to be aware of how other players affect your game. You're not in total control.
I can tell from personal experience that bad hygiene gets worse with age – not better. So I would suggest moving on now.
Thanks, currently doing that at therapy, looking at my past to find the reason why I’m like this, I appreciate your advice.
Hello /u/Mishieboo2310,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
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So like apart from the relationship stuff. You should probably be seeing some what of a specialist for these issues. This is a LOT for your body to be going through, and probably a LOT of risk to keep doing it.
Everyone keeps bitching at OP for it “not being her business.”
She literally treated the girlfriend as an actual woman – the goal of many trans folk, to pass! – and got told off for interacting with her as such. Under normal circumstances, no, it wouldnt be her business, but OP is 100% allowed to call out their sister here. She’s being yelled at for not knowing something that she wasn’t told.
Call it an unfortunate circumstance but this whole situation started innocently and just spiralled out of control with the parents’ actions to blame. Lets focus the real disappointment on the assholes and stop trying to point fingers at innocent parties.
And this goes for you too OP- your parents are shit and if nothing else, you’ll be guilty by association for sticking around them. Otherwise, quit blaming yourself for everything and making yourself into the scapegoat for this whole mess. Instead of jumping down the internet rabbit hole about all the ways you were in the wrong, just listen to the girlfriend’s opinions in this particular situation, and accept the relevant facts.
Everyone keeps bitching at OP for it “not being her business.”
She literally treated the girlfriend as an actual woman – the goal of many trans folk, to pass! – and got told off for interacting with her as such. Under normal circumstances, no, it wouldnt be her business, but OP is 100% allowed to call out their sister here. She’s being yelled at for not knowing something that she wasn’t told.
Call it an unfortunate circumstance but this whole situation started innocently and just spiralled out of control with the parents’ actions to blame. Lets focus the real disappointment on the assholes and stop trying to point fingers at innocent parties.
And this goes for you too OP- your parents are shit and if nothing else, you’ll be guilty by association for sticking around them. Otherwise, quit blaming yourself for everything and making yourself into the scapegoat for this whole mess. Instead of jumping down the internet rabbit hole about all the ways you were in the wrong, just listen to the girlfriend’s opinions in this particular situation, and accept the relevant facts.
Your wife needs counselling, immediately. She's going to push some very unhealthy ideals onto your kid. Growing up with a parent whose worst fear is you getting overweight is far more damaging than growing up with an overweight parent.
This wasn't A Thing until you made it A Thing. You felt entitled to information that wasn't yours, and then you caused a squabble that resulted in the entire family taking ten steps back in the progress they made. Do you feel it was worth it?
Lotta men out here being super naive on Beyonce's own internet.
???
You can’t get water from a stone anymore than you can get this guy to care about his behaviour towards you.
You could try to talk to him but he’s already made it very clear that he doesn’t care about you and your feelings.
That birthday was a disaster. You know it and your friends know it.
You’re asking for the impossible- you’re asking for magic words to make this jerk not a jerk.
Don’t gaslight yourself into believing that you’re a whiny baby. You’re not. You’re a normal human girl.
Don’t get on the back of a motorcycle with a drunk driver. You literally could have been killed, or been catastrophically injured and have to live! with those injuries your whole life.
Dont share bank accounts with a wedding contract sweetie. Separate your money now and move it all to your own account. Just transfer the amount you pay in rent in everything into the joint account once a month.
I don’t think there is anything you can do until you now what’s really bothering him. That’s gotta be the starting point.
Maybe start with oral on her, and then fingering, and no penis for the time being. try and see if you both can make each other orgasm.
It will hurt the first time, but it won't hurt as badly if she's very very ready.
ouch.
You can't control her actions. It sounds like she needs a more steady way to manage her BPD. If she can't/won't do that you need to make an ultimatum and stick with it.
I'm assuming she is aware of how her outbursts affect you?
Gonna go against the grain here and say James…probably didn't take the dress.
He was supportive of your plan.
He freaked out when he realized his fiance was calling off the wedding. That's normal, especially since he was pinning all his hopes on healing happening after you're married.
It's normal for you to freak out too! Honestly, your dad's side of the family is who has said they had a problem with your choice. Start there.
Did you find the thief who took the dress?