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I spend 3 days (+/-1) a week at his place, and I've only really seen him mad once and he yelled at his daughter then, which we also had a conversation about not happening again. Other than that instance and this situation now, things have been pretty non-stressful.
Thank you for reminding me of the honeymoon period ?
ah, I'm still working on being assertive too! There's definitely no need to have a big confrontation with them if they're not people you plan to keep in your life, save yourself the drama/energy/trouble. 🙂
Why shouldn’t they bring up divorce? If their client is clearly unhappy in their marriage, that would be a viable option to improve their circumstances. I’ve heard of couples therapists pulling aside one of the spouses and suggest it. I don’t see why an independent therapist can’t do the same.
It means “Tom, you've been posting about the cockroaches for over a year. Stop it.”
Being in a marriage is like a full time job. Task must be shared, partners must find a way to work and communicate together. There are thing that you can do single but not in a marriage. Fun things. You will not have time after unless you steall it to your family. So do all that things now to have no regret.
Well now she can make stronger bond with him without me stopping her, so there wont be any guilt on her part.
This is a lot of words. For those reasons
I'm out.
Then why is she giving a speech at your company banquet?
You did great. Up to you. I don’t think it’s a dealbreaker by any means though.
No, you made the right choice.
You both have a difference in thought about what is acceptable and what isn't. He's a recovering alcoholic that is keeping addicts in his life that only use him. And for what? Being a good friend when they were children?
Your boyfriend will always keep these people near. You'll never be happy with those people in your future.
You're better off letting him go and finding someone that makes better choices for themselves.
I have a couple options I use when I don't have access to therapy.
First is journaling / art – this will also show up in a lot of the self help books and is often a part of therapy. If writing your first post and update helped you feel better, journaling might be a good solution, it's just taking all the thoughts when they're overwhelming and putting them down on paper, or on a digital journal. I like paper because I like nonlinear journals, it means I just flip to a random page in the journal, pick a part of the page (a lot of my pages I've broken into segments or drawn big circles or funny shapes to write in), and fill the whole space with my words. I like the nonlinear a lot because if someone else tries to read it, it's noncohesive to anyone but myself. Drawing as well, even bad drawings to just get the feelings out.
The other thing I liked from self help books and therapy is finding a new hobby or learning a new skill. I can highly recommend knitting, crochet, quilting, or even just reading for pleasure, since you can also find groups for all those activities (and they're pretty mixed age groups, though with a bias towards older). A knitting circle is actually a really good place to find good friends and something productive to do outside your apartment every week. (It's also more affordable than a cooking class, though if there's a free cooking class in your area, those are also great productive distractions).
But yes, the public library is a very good resource. Besides Hoopla and Libby for books, the library has online free classes for a ton of things from creative to business to language, can help you find clubs to join, and more! It's also a place outside your apartment to go to that's still pretty quiet.
I would also argue she should talk to her brother because he needs to know these are not safe people to be around. It's not fair to him to keep this information from him. They believe that he is less deserving of basic human right, just because of something he cannot control. He needs to know that, like yesterday.