This has happened to me and it was the girlfriend who reached out to me who by coincidence was an old coworker… all happened so fast probably in a weeks time i started talking to the guy online tho and she found out cuz she was paying his phone bills ? what made it worse is that the guy is such a good manipulator he kept messaging me like i was breaking up their relationship although i had no idea until the girl reached out to me… she stayed.
Jfc no wonder she is done with you. She has clearly expressed what is wrong for a long time and suddenly NOW you want to fix it. It's been 22 fucking years dude at some point she is just done and it seems like you finally convinced her that you just dont care about her or your kids.
Yeah, this doesn't make sense. If you're seeing her at work and she's seeing family/friends, why can't she just pack an overnight bag and go home with you on a Friday or something? I'm guessing you're not demanding that she go out and be super active. But you don't have any alone time together.
There was a period of time where my partner and I weren't living together. My dad had a terminal illness and I was constantly stressed, he had a full-time job with an extremely long commute, and we're both diagnosed with a serious mental illness. We made time for each other. His presence was and is a comfort to me.
Nope, him not wanting to meet is totally weird. And I’m sorry, you two are a married couple. You come as a package. You don’t have to be everywhere she is, but at the very least you should know who you are hanging out with. If your wife, god forbid, ever goes missing, how would you feel not even knowing who the people are she was associating with. you have a responsibility to one another to look after each other, this is so messed up.
That's a very normal and reasonable thing to request in a committed relationship. Especially given it's just about reassurance regarding safety rather than being super possessive or whatever. No thoughts beyond that.
Waxing can be super painful for some and if she doesn’t even shave, it might be a bit too much for her to start off with her.
Maybe tell her that her hair really tickles you and it makes you want to sneeze so it makes the act a bit hot for you. She doesn’t need to shave herself clean, just trimming up is enough (if what you are saying about not caring about hair).
YOU did nothing wrong! Your pos husband, and that witch did! They manipulated both you, and the witch's husband into a situation neither of you really wanted to be in to begin with when all either of them really cared about was fucking each other “without it being cheating”. If your husband really loved you, first he would have told that witch to fuck off as soon as she asked, but he's a pos so he didn't. All he thought about was his own dick. If he really loved you, he would have realized you were uncomfortable, stopped everything immediately, took you, and got you the fuck out of there instead of being so focused on getting his dick wet with that witch. If your husband really loved you he would be ripping that witch apart for the shit she is doing to you now. He would also be blocking her from contacting either of you. Your husband is not butt hurt because he realized he didn't like it when another man touches you, but instead of owning up to it, he's being a dick to you instead because. Well because at the end of the day he's a self centered asshole who only thinks of his needs, and wants, not how they effect other people.
The witch is pissed because she wasn't the center of her husband, AND your husband's attention. She's jealous that you weren't completely thrown to the side by both guys. She never wanted you included to begin with. She just wanted an excuse to fuck your husband without “cheating” on her husband.
My advise, tell her to fuck off, forward all the shit she's saying to her husband so he can see for himself what she's doing then block her. As far as your husband, I think you know. He's shown you just how little you mean to him based on the above I listed out for you. Stop sleeping with him, get your stuff in order, and divorce him. You'll be faced with this crap again if you let his lack of respect, and love for you to continue. Before you asked, no you didn't do this for nothing. You did this to finally see your husband for the selfish ass he really is. I'm sorry.
That's true we never know others intentions but the fact he is that old and he wants to meet her is creeping me out. I'm scared of the fact i wanna go back to r/sh and rant out to them. I don't have a firearm but i got in contact. Don't get me wrong I'm not a bad person but I've helped some people back then and they said they owe me and I'm afraid i have to go that far to keep her safe
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
So i (30F) am seeing/dating this guy (33M) for a month now (still very early). We are still getting to know eachother and going on dates to see if we are compatible. That said, we spend like 5 days together a week since two weeks ago. I sleep at his house and we cook together. Everything is nice and we are having fun together. But today when we were texting about trust and how to proceed this talking/dating stage, he said that he will go on a date later this week with a girl he met awhile ago on Tinder. But in his words he said that he’s just curious to meet her and to see her in real.
I don’t even know what to do with this information. Part of me can’t be mad because we are not officially together, but part of me is hurt because i thought everything was good between “us”.
I want to text : “let me know if the date went well and if you will proceed to plan another one. So i can go on with my life” but i know that’s not a good idea, because i will blow everything up wth that text.
TLDR; guy (33M) i’m (30F) seeing is going on a date with someone else and i’m hurt even tho i have no right to be.
Who fucking cares if it is lol. She married you and if you’re gonna hold her past against her then you don’t deserve to be her husband. Besides this is most likely just an innocent collection of memories. Let it go
Here's my opinion on that. It doesn't sound to me like you are being what I would call controlling. You're not trying to tell her she can't go. You're just expressing your concerns, which I think are valid. Lots of things happen at those kind of parties and alcohol often allows things to happen that wouldn't otherwise. Even if she doesn't plan to do anything inappropriate, alcohol changes one's thought processes and ability to make good decisions. And even if she's making good decisions, drunk horny guys might not respect boundaries and things could happen even if she doesn't agree to them.
My concern here is that she seems to not be respecting your concerns and is just dismissing them which I think is a problem in relationships. What should be happening is that the two of you work together to try to find a mutually agreeable solution, but it sounds like she's basically saying “I don't care what you think about this or how it makes you feel, I'm going to do it because I want to.” That IMO is not a good attitude to take while in a relationship.
It sounds like things are pretty good between you otherwise, so that would make it difficult to leave, but if it's causing you significant distress (and it sounds like it is) you might have to think about whether it's worth it and whether you think she's adequately considering your concerns when she chooses what to do.
This seems to be a significant incompatibility. Perhaps she'd be better with someone that doesn't mind her doing that kind of thing and perhaps you'd be better with someone that doesn't want to or at least respects your feeling about it and accommodates them in some way that you both find acceptable.
Will you be able / allowed to work in your new country? If yes, that makes the moving out process easier. You can pass those finals, get a job and move on to the next phase of your life.
If no, I recommend getting in touch with your family or researching local women's shelters or even visiting your consulate to get assistance in getting back to your previous country.
What’s a “resulted in another disagreement” look like? If it’s you exploding at one another it’s not great if it’s just a conversation it could be fine so long as you both are willing to be understanding and work towards finding a balance.
“I love you very much. I need you to [do X]. I wouldn't be asking if it weren't important to me, and I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't hoping to be with you for a very long time. I'm asking because it's necessary in order for me to fully enjoy and commit to a relationship with you.”
My best friend's boyfriend admitted to cheating on her, literally almost 20 years ago. Now, there is never a good reason, valid excuse for cheating, so I don't really know how to word this. But there was a lot going on with her at the time and she understood what prompted him to do it. She also is confident that she doesn't have to worry about him doing it again, which I also assured her I really don't think she needs to worry. I have known him just as long as she has, and I genuinely do not think that she has anything to worry about. So, she forgave him. She still trusts him. Great, right? Wrong. To this day she throws it back in his face. Every time they have a fight, a serious issue to work through, it comes up. She and I are very close, we have been best friends for 30 of my 40 years of life. She knows that I will tell her the truth, and not just what she wants to hear. And this is what I told her in reference to the situation… Either you really forgive him and you move on together, or you end things. But what you absolutely cannot/ must not do, is continue to throw it back in his face like this. Honestly, her doing that has caused way more turmoil in their than his actual cheating did. He has even told that maybe it is best if he just leaves, because the poor guy is simply worn out, exhausted from having to pay for his crime for the past 20 years. If you don't think that you can truly forgive and move on, like REALLY REALLY, do both of you the favor of ending it now.
Don't stick around, he wants girlfriend perks with no commitment
Phew i don’t understand how y’all be out here risking stds with raw sex
This has happened to me and it was the girlfriend who reached out to me who by coincidence was an old coworker… all happened so fast probably in a weeks time i started talking to the guy online tho and she found out cuz she was paying his phone bills ? what made it worse is that the guy is such a good manipulator he kept messaging me like i was breaking up their relationship although i had no idea until the girl reached out to me… she stayed.
Why are you dating her again?
Love is blind.
Thought for sure you were going to say early 20’s. Girl go find you a actual man. This one is not worth your time.
Wow she sounds like a psychopath. Wtf
Did she ever get upset for long periods of time after a fight or anything
Like she intentionally fucked u over badly. It's really fucked up
Jfc no wonder she is done with you. She has clearly expressed what is wrong for a long time and suddenly NOW you want to fix it. It's been 22 fucking years dude at some point she is just done and it seems like you finally convinced her that you just dont care about her or your kids.
Yeah, this doesn't make sense. If you're seeing her at work and she's seeing family/friends, why can't she just pack an overnight bag and go home with you on a Friday or something? I'm guessing you're not demanding that she go out and be super active. But you don't have any alone time together.
There was a period of time where my partner and I weren't living together. My dad had a terminal illness and I was constantly stressed, he had a full-time job with an extremely long commute, and we're both diagnosed with a serious mental illness. We made time for each other. His presence was and is a comfort to me.
Kinda put yourself in this situation. Sorry not sorry
Nope, him not wanting to meet is totally weird. And I’m sorry, you two are a married couple. You come as a package. You don’t have to be everywhere she is, but at the very least you should know who you are hanging out with. If your wife, god forbid, ever goes missing, how would you feel not even knowing who the people are she was associating with. you have a responsibility to one another to look after each other, this is so messed up.
She liked the novelty like a child does
She told him from the get go, no pregnancies. Please go back to whatever the fuck time you belong in with that nonsense.
Reproductive trauma is not our responsibility to poor widdle men who wanna bayyyybeeee.
Foh
What the fuck you going on about?
That's a very normal and reasonable thing to request in a committed relationship. Especially given it's just about reassurance regarding safety rather than being super possessive or whatever. No thoughts beyond that.
So you'd rather throw away your life?
Waxing can be super painful for some and if she doesn’t even shave, it might be a bit too much for her to start off with her.
Maybe tell her that her hair really tickles you and it makes you want to sneeze so it makes the act a bit hot for you. She doesn’t need to shave herself clean, just trimming up is enough (if what you are saying about not caring about hair).
No.
i will definitely do that, start creating boundaries
You don’t owe him a thing. Make the decision based on what makes you feel good.
He just wants a friend you dingus. Don't pull anything sly since he's got a girlfriend and clearly hasn't pulled any moves on you.
Hmm yes I see that now. I didn't realize that before. I thought this was fake was the point I was trying to make before I guess.
I like big butts and I cannot lie!
On a T-shirt at my favorite BBQ Place
That's the level of empathy you can expect from poly people
YOU did nothing wrong! Your pos husband, and that witch did! They manipulated both you, and the witch's husband into a situation neither of you really wanted to be in to begin with when all either of them really cared about was fucking each other “without it being cheating”. If your husband really loved you, first he would have told that witch to fuck off as soon as she asked, but he's a pos so he didn't. All he thought about was his own dick. If he really loved you, he would have realized you were uncomfortable, stopped everything immediately, took you, and got you the fuck out of there instead of being so focused on getting his dick wet with that witch. If your husband really loved you he would be ripping that witch apart for the shit she is doing to you now. He would also be blocking her from contacting either of you. Your husband is not butt hurt because he realized he didn't like it when another man touches you, but instead of owning up to it, he's being a dick to you instead because. Well because at the end of the day he's a self centered asshole who only thinks of his needs, and wants, not how they effect other people.
The witch is pissed because she wasn't the center of her husband, AND your husband's attention. She's jealous that you weren't completely thrown to the side by both guys. She never wanted you included to begin with. She just wanted an excuse to fuck your husband without “cheating” on her husband.
My advise, tell her to fuck off, forward all the shit she's saying to her husband so he can see for himself what she's doing then block her. As far as your husband, I think you know. He's shown you just how little you mean to him based on the above I listed out for you. Stop sleeping with him, get your stuff in order, and divorce him. You'll be faced with this crap again if you let his lack of respect, and love for you to continue. Before you asked, no you didn't do this for nothing. You did this to finally see your husband for the selfish ass he really is. I'm sorry.
I’m really sorry to hear. Thank you for sharing your story. I understand that i should do more and I will do more
That's true we never know others intentions but the fact he is that old and he wants to meet her is creeping me out. I'm scared of the fact i wanna go back to r/sh and rant out to them. I don't have a firearm but i got in contact. Don't get me wrong I'm not a bad person but I've helped some people back then and they said they owe me and I'm afraid i have to go that far to keep her safe
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
So i (30F) am seeing/dating this guy (33M) for a month now (still very early). We are still getting to know eachother and going on dates to see if we are compatible. That said, we spend like 5 days together a week since two weeks ago. I sleep at his house and we cook together. Everything is nice and we are having fun together. But today when we were texting about trust and how to proceed this talking/dating stage, he said that he will go on a date later this week with a girl he met awhile ago on Tinder. But in his words he said that he’s just curious to meet her and to see her in real.
I don’t even know what to do with this information. Part of me can’t be mad because we are not officially together, but part of me is hurt because i thought everything was good between “us”.
I want to text : “let me know if the date went well and if you will proceed to plan another one. So i can go on with my life” but i know that’s not a good idea, because i will blow everything up wth that text.
TLDR; guy (33M) i’m (30F) seeing is going on a date with someone else and i’m hurt even tho i have no right to be.
That’s okay, thanks for your response though. I’ll keep this in mind
So you want to be the next one huh. You’re not slick
Who fucking cares if it is lol. She married you and if you’re gonna hold her past against her then you don’t deserve to be her husband. Besides this is most likely just an innocent collection of memories. Let it go
Exactly.
Why the extra step?
Here's my opinion on that. It doesn't sound to me like you are being what I would call controlling. You're not trying to tell her she can't go. You're just expressing your concerns, which I think are valid. Lots of things happen at those kind of parties and alcohol often allows things to happen that wouldn't otherwise. Even if she doesn't plan to do anything inappropriate, alcohol changes one's thought processes and ability to make good decisions. And even if she's making good decisions, drunk horny guys might not respect boundaries and things could happen even if she doesn't agree to them.
My concern here is that she seems to not be respecting your concerns and is just dismissing them which I think is a problem in relationships. What should be happening is that the two of you work together to try to find a mutually agreeable solution, but it sounds like she's basically saying “I don't care what you think about this or how it makes you feel, I'm going to do it because I want to.” That IMO is not a good attitude to take while in a relationship.
It sounds like things are pretty good between you otherwise, so that would make it difficult to leave, but if it's causing you significant distress (and it sounds like it is) you might have to think about whether it's worth it and whether you think she's adequately considering your concerns when she chooses what to do.
This seems to be a significant incompatibility. Perhaps she'd be better with someone that doesn't mind her doing that kind of thing and perhaps you'd be better with someone that doesn't want to or at least respects your feeling about it and accommodates them in some way that you both find acceptable.
Will you be able / allowed to work in your new country? If yes, that makes the moving out process easier. You can pass those finals, get a job and move on to the next phase of your life.
If no, I recommend getting in touch with your family or researching local women's shelters or even visiting your consulate to get assistance in getting back to your previous country.
Best of luck to you.
What’s a “resulted in another disagreement” look like? If it’s you exploding at one another it’s not great if it’s just a conversation it could be fine so long as you both are willing to be understanding and work towards finding a balance.
“I love you very much. I need you to [do X]. I wouldn't be asking if it weren't important to me, and I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't hoping to be with you for a very long time. I'm asking because it's necessary in order for me to fully enjoy and commit to a relationship with you.”
What did you try? The difference between twice a week and once is small. Have you tried twice a week? What happened?
Legit, my fiancé is 26. He's positively elated to be happy and in a serious relationship
I don’t know because for a year and a half he was the clingy chasing one, even when I wanted to run away? Normally he is overbearing if anything.
My best friend's boyfriend admitted to cheating on her, literally almost 20 years ago. Now, there is never a good reason, valid excuse for cheating, so I don't really know how to word this. But there was a lot going on with her at the time and she understood what prompted him to do it. She also is confident that she doesn't have to worry about him doing it again, which I also assured her I really don't think she needs to worry. I have known him just as long as she has, and I genuinely do not think that she has anything to worry about. So, she forgave him. She still trusts him. Great, right? Wrong. To this day she throws it back in his face. Every time they have a fight, a serious issue to work through, it comes up. She and I are very close, we have been best friends for 30 of my 40 years of life. She knows that I will tell her the truth, and not just what she wants to hear. And this is what I told her in reference to the situation… Either you really forgive him and you move on together, or you end things. But what you absolutely cannot/ must not do, is continue to throw it back in his face like this. Honestly, her doing that has caused way more turmoil in their than his actual cheating did. He has even told that maybe it is best if he just leaves, because the poor guy is simply worn out, exhausted from having to pay for his crime for the past 20 years. If you don't think that you can truly forgive and move on, like REALLY REALLY, do both of you the favor of ending it now.