I (F20) get grossed out by the size of my boyfriend’s (M21) body. Is this is something I can stop myself from experiencing?

I suddenly get grossed out by how much larger my partner’s body is than mine. Not because they are overweight or their actual body proportions but just their mass in general such as height and muscle. This has happened with every other previous relationship I’ve had with a man and doesn’t seem to be triggered by anything specific. I’m about average height and healthy weight so it’s not being worried about accidentally getting injured. It gives me a similar feeling to being grossed out and slight panic.

I am a sexually active person and I am attracted to my partner physically and emotionally, but I will get this feeling seemingly out of nowhere. It has affected my sexual life and physical affection such as cuddling and kissing. Even though I feel very attracted to my partner, when I’m in the mood I will get this feeling sometimes and I don’t feel like being touched sexually or even cuddled.

I will also mention this has happened with every previous partner, one of them being the exact same height as me and I still got this feeling. So it’s not exclusive to my current boyfriend or a specific body type.

It has never affected how much I love and care for him, but it has affected how I’m able to express physical and sexual affection. I would really like to figure out the possible explanation so I can try to move past these thoughts. (Tagged NSFW just to be safe)