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Room for online sex video chat Janemasqueradeporn
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Birth Date: 1993-11-10
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Date: October 9, 2022
To not consider divorce after finding out that he's cheating on you? A little bit, but I'll attribute that to the shock of the moment. I've never seen a post on here where someone only cheated once, especially when their cheating happened over a dating app. But it is pretty normal for the first instinct to be “how can I fix this”. If you want to try, then go ahead. Just make sure you've accepted the possibility of it not being fixable no matter how much you want it to be fixed.
Not terminating the pregnancy? Nah, that's 100% your choice. I only mentioned it because I think it's smart to at least be aware of what all the options are. Not everyone is okay with getting an abortion. No pressure.
Luckily my partner and I work opposite shifts so we don’t have many sleep problems. When we do sleep together I snore so she often has to wake me up and tell me to rollover or one of us moves to the couch. Y’all need to do that. Or maybe sturdify your bed.
and life changing. I’m starting to think this is a troll post.
He’s not interested. Move on.
Don’t blame/feel bad about yourself because of your history, everyone dates other people before setting their interests on a particular person; but if he’s too judgmental and immature to comprehend this, then there is the bullet you dodged. Count yourself blessed and now you can find the right person for you.
Good luck.
Let me show him tomorrow and see if I can update with his perspective too though.
This would be useless at best, harmful at worst. Don't show him anything.
Yeah, we all hate that. It’s work, we get paid to do it, it’s not super happy fun time.
You should not feel ashamed at all for being emotional. In fact, I find it very attractice when a man can be emotional in that way. It is good to embrace your grief. I’m so sorry your girlfriend did not really support you in that moment. It’s really a shame, because it could have been a bonding moment for you both.
If you feel comfortable, tell her you are concerned that she doesn’t feel comfortable when you are grieving, and see how she responds. If she says that she did not want to make you feel more upset, tell her that you actually would have preferred her to be affectionate and engage with you at that moment. If however she is dismissive or if she seems to act as if men should not b emotional, that is a red flag and you may want to reconsider the relationship.
NTA. YOU did nothing wrong. Sounds like your bf thinks his brother wants you. Which, tbh, he may. Now you are in a rough spot. The idea about making your bf return them to his brother if he wants does sound like a good idea.
The writing's on the wall, brother.
Well a person can only apologize so much. It’s about change. Did you ask her what she will change so that never happens again? It’ll show you better insight on how she feels about the situation. Did she express any regret? Did she look for it? For how long was she feeling that way? (You don’t have to actually answer)
There’s a lot of factors that fall into whether or not that is worth continuing. My partner expressed so much hurt, guilt, regret, and responded in ways that showed me it was worth giving him another chance. Not to mention, when he cheated and we broke up, a little over 24hrs later I slept with someone out of anger, revenge, spite etc. So despite it not being cheating it was so so close it basically felt like it in a way. So he had to also think and choose about whether or not he wanted to stay with me.
Seems like an odd thing to be hung up on. Sometimes its best to let sleeping dogs lie with stuff like this. If you were not exclusive i don’t see why there is any issue.
Lol that's hilarious.
Your boyfriend is putting his desire for orgasms over your pain. Let me repeat that another way. Your boyfriend. Thinks that your excruciating pain.* Is a reasonable price to pay for his orgasms. And that the absolute minimal amount of effort required to help you get off first so you don't feel as much pain, is too much.
He can get right into the sea. You deserve so much better than this. The bar of “actually caring when his girlfriend is in pain, and not wanting to cause her more pain” is subterranean, and yet he couldn't get over it with a grappling hook.
because no matter how many people tell you it can't be that bad, and everyone has cramps sometimes, we both know endo is no joke
Age gap aside….
Imaging you’re having this conversation with your best friend who you’ve just reconnected with. Think about the other things you have put in your post.
He’s jealous when you are out with friends. Unless you’re out 3+ nights a week and neglecting your relationship or putting financial stain on your household, then he really doesn’t get to make you feel bad for going out and enjoying a social life.
He doesn’t like that your social circle is expanding. Could that be because he’s worried you’ll realise that are better options out there? Or that your not ready to settle down and live the life he wants you to have.
He’s planning your future when you want to enjoy and experience the here and now. It really does sound like you are at different stages in life, which can happen in any relationship with any age gap. If you settle now you will come to regret it and resentment will build.
I think you need to take a step back and really think about what it is you want. You might love each other a lot, but that doesn’t mean you are right for each other.
It’s a method of explaining a concept, it in no way equates them by value.
It was in response to the argument that asking a question is harmless. It’s not harmless and the OP is entitled to his honest emotions.
You are being disingenuous by pretending that you actually believed my explanation was valuing the two things.
can you just remind yourself that when you needed space in the past it wasn't bc you weren't into your partner? sometimes a small reframe can help. i'm neurodivergent and get overstimulated really easily. when i am overstimulated, it often manifests as irritability, and bc i also lack impulse control, there is a much higher chance i say something i really wish i hadn't. so alone time for me is really a win for everyone lol.
I wouldn't suggest that he does this.
Let's be real when most women start putting on weight it doesn't go unnoticed even if there is no verbal remarks about it. I'm sure she sees herself very hot every day. And when a guy says something like “Let's go on a diet | Let's work out together”
Most women INSTANTLY snap at us and hear “ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT????”
The best thing is to start doing said things himself and letting her choose to join herself.
Hard to say if the frustration is warranted at current levels, but from your description it does sound like he's got the bigger load of the household duties for sure.
I'm a homeowner, pay all the bills, and it really doesn't take that much time. Like maybe an hour a month most times, other than getting ready for Christmas and birthdays. House chores probably take that daily, depending on how clean you keep your home. It sounds like you work a similar amount, just on different schedules, do if he's doing most of the cleaning most days, it does sound like he does more. I'm not saying this makes your lazy, but it is uneven. Maybe you can sit down and come up with some sort of chore chart together, and include the stuff you do as part of it?
I sent her a message acknowledging my ignorance, and apologising for my actions. She said she understood it was an accident and borne out of ignorance and lack of education rather than malice, that usually she would find it very affirming but given what happened after, that ruined it for her. Understandably. She says she forgives me for damage caused to her, but not that of my sister. Which is very understandable and more than reasonable.
If you agree to $1000/month in 6 months it'll be $1500 etc. There was someone else who posted on reddit about how his wife was sending most of their money to her family. I would nope out of this.
Have you tried restoring deleting messages on her phone and checked all her apps which you can also message people on?
Don't involve the other woman. She's made it pretty clear she wants nothing to do with it lmao
So he wants a song and dance whenever he gives you some good news… yeah he sucks.
Has he told you why he doesn't want you to join?
Is it because he thinks all sororities have drunken parties with fraternity guys and sleep with them? If so, then maybe you can assure him that this sorority isn't going to do that and even if they do, you are not going to sleep with any other guy. If he doesn't have any good explanation for why he's so much against it, then I'd be concerned that maybe he's trying to isolate you from other people and doesn't want you making a lot of friends because he wants you dependent on him for any kind of social interaction.
I of course don't know him, so I don't have any idea which one is the case with him, but if it's the second one, that's concerning. You don't want to have him isolate you like that.
I know it may feel scary to be alone, but knowing what you are worth and refusing to settle for less than what you deserve are far more important priorities. In other words, being lonely is better than being in poor company, especially if that company is triggering you to behave in unhealthy ways or brings out the worst in you.
In dating, many people operate with a scarcity mindset and think a number of unproductive things: it's too hard to find someone, I have no other options, I'll never find someone better, etc. And oftentimes, a scarcity mindset results in people behaving in ways that are counterproductive to their goals, like stalking someone's live activity, overanalyzing actions and words, being mentally preoccupied by dating and relationships, being “clingy,” and gripping tightly onto someone who is horrible for them.
A helpful exercise is to write out a list of traits you absolutely need in an ideal partner, a list of wants but things you can probably online without, and a list of absolute dealbreakers. This will help you figure out whether someone is even worth pursuing or if someone should be automatically filtered out.
For me, an example of a need is consistency/reliability. An example of a want is someone who is taller than me. And a dealbreaker is cheating.
If someone isn't consistent or reliable with me, I filter them out. If someone cheats on me, I dump them immediately. And if someone isn't taller than me, it's not the end of the world because it's not a need or a dealbreaker. Try this exercise so you can develop an idea of what you want and deserve in life. Life is too short to spend it on people who don't deserve our energy, love, and attention.
True, we definitely should have been friends for longer. I have to constantly remind him that we’ve only know each other a month and some change. He sometimes gets ahead of himself and I pump the brakes.
I never said that you did?
Exactly this, it feels weird not meeting your bf's best friend, especially when the friend is another girl
Does she not want to see you more than once a week? To me this is a sign that maybe the relationship isn’t going as well as you claim. At 2 years in, for most relationships, you should probably be more of a regular staple in each other’s life. My bf and I see each other about 4 times a week and I can’t imagine less (and I work 2 jobs so sometimes it is just a few hours at night before we sleep).
She has a personality that includes measuring a person's worth against having seen another adult's genitals. Whatever you do, take off the rose tinted glasses.
ONLY CHEATERS DO THIS SHIT. I have severe trust issues I'm working through with my girlfriend… I have went and looked at the lock screen on her phone and felt ABSOLITELY AWFUL invading someone's privacy isn't fair, right, and it's terrifying that someone literally has tabs on you at all times. THIS IS STALKING.
Chances are the ‘new job’ heard exactly what he did and that’s why they’re not following through with the application.
The problem is, she woke up this morning with a horrid hangover and cannot remember anything from around 9pm onwards (and it was around midnight she said it).
lol, I've know a few people that pull this tactic. It's an attempt to get out of jail for free. She knows what she said.
This is sort of like telling a woman she's ugly and you don't find her attractive, it's a tough thing to come back from.
Just put your phone on silent at bedtime, enforce your own boundaries
Pre marital counseling is in order ASAP. If you even THINK, you might want to continue this relationship. Use it as a way to figure out why he's being like that and if this is an isolated issue relating only to the wedding or if this is a major character flaw that will bleed into every aspect of your life moving forward. Sounds to me like he's parroting what his Mommy wants, and he likely doesn't give a shit. But, work with a therapist to establish some very hot and fast boundaries with his parents if that's the case. No one likes a mommas boy.
Other commenters spot-on about your mom.
But about adoption… your husband has ONE anecdote, and I'm betting his friend is still grateful that someone adopted him. It'd be MUCH worse to be that kid that ages out of the system with no one adopting them, which will happen to at least 1 more kid if your husband refuses to adopt. Food for thought.
I've said this in multiple ways. I've said No, I've given my reasons, but she keeps asking me to get one.
I don’t see any value in reaching out to that guy. Total pos
Ok….I didn’t need to read anything further than your first paragraph to know that what was happening there was WRONG right out of the gate.
An ex is an ex for a reason. There should not be any staying over at anybodys house if their an ex because their priority should Already be the new person in their life. To anything else otherwise is going against creating and helping to bloom the relationship with YOU. I’m sorry but to me there is no excuse for any of what he was doing.
He’s still in love with her and just doesn’t wanna say it because then he’d have to admit it and saying it would make it “real” as it should be if that’s the case.
Say good bye and let him go work things out with her. Or NOT work things out with her and just be single. Whatever the case he doesn’t know how to handle having a new partner and allowing old “hangers on” to be left in the past.
Going to weddings, Staying over at her house, “comforting her”??!
Fuck no….
The secret to digging around for truth is being nonconfrontational about it. Here's how I would do it, step by step:
1) Just casually mention this long time friend: “Oh I don't think I actually heard much about them before. How long have you known them for? Do you keep in touch often? Are they a fun person to be around?”. If you already asked those questions then just make up some new ones. The point is to get her to talk about this friend. Don't show any sign of concern or jealousy just genuine curiosity. Gather as much information as possible and focus on what she says and how she says it.
2) Now you can go through her phone if there are actual reasons for concern. It's unethical but hey so is cheating.
3) If you find anything problematic in her texts, now it's time to mention the bill statement. Again, nonconfrontationally. “I was looking at our phone bills trying to decide on a better pay plan and it seems you have been texting a lot lately.” Slowly pull the thread and unravel her web of lies. Assuming there's one.
That being said, constant fighting and she starts to text a new number a lot? That's concerning by itself.
So 5 of those 7 days you are a single traveler. Lay out on the beach drinking fruity umbrella drinks. Make spa dates for yourself. Enjoy some tours that the resort offers. Dance at the resort clubs at night. Go with groups and really immerse yourself in the holiday.
If your SO wants to find you, so be it. He can join you, but there's no way in Hell I'd be tagging along with them.
I'd also ditch his ass as soon as I got home, but you may feel differently.
You might Google PMDD and see if that applies. That can usually be managed with Prozac or other antidepressants used “off label” with good results. I haven’t personally dealt with it but have had several friends who have.
But it definitely sounds like you have some tendencies towards misophonia during these episodes—and maybe all the time but after a stressful week or during your period, it’s exacerbated. I know that for me, as I spend most of my work days running meetings/workshops, I’m pretty peopled out and just lack patience and the ability to self regulate as well.
A very good point.
I can tell you why your libido is down the drain:
You don't feel desired anymore.
He has book you under “maid/ nurse” and has gone bumbeling along like a bull calf at spring during first turnout on the meadows.
Support: zero Being desired: zero Being respected: zero Being courted: -100 Being loved: – 500
Being yelled at: 500 Being disrespected: 500 Being lied to: 1000
I could go on like the next 3 hours.
The relationships gas tank is empty. He only drives, never puts in fuel.
What example would you want your son to grow up with with a father like that?
I do not claim she wasn't raped.
Your bf is a dick.
Don’t waste your time and energy with this loser.
OP you sound like a child throwing a tantrum lol.
What is the point of rushing your partner into a legal commitment they are not ready for? Marriage is a big deal, not something you should bully your partner into just to get your way.
Grow tf up, maybe leave them too, would be better for both of you. Find somebody who is on the same page, not somebody you feel the need to coerce into marrying you.
FFS, what he is doing is manipulative, immature and abusive. People who care about each other don't do what he is doing. He is not a good boyfriend. He is not a man, he is not a good person. Walk away, OP. Don't explain it or justify it or argue with him about it. Just walk away.
When people make a change that they don't want, there will be resistance. She is doing this because her doctor told her to, not because she wants it. There are a lot of feeling buried in the obesity, depression, low self-esteem, etc. Just taking a few walks will not do it for her. I think she needs a professional, a trainer, a gym, a nutritionist, a support group, something. She loves you and will lash out at you because it's safe. You will forgive her. I think she needs more help with this than you can give.
I literally thought “congrats you have a 22year old child” when I read your post.
If he hides a whole child from you, then be prepared for him to hide a lot more stuff.
Ha ha ok, if he's signed up to Mensa he's definitely not all that, the Mensa people usually aren't the brightest bunch.
But that's not really the point. I completely get that it affects your own self esteem when the people you are around the most are so much better than you at everything. I chose a partner was that smarter, better looking, more talented, just a better person overall really. Even though that's something I crave and deliberately chose in a relationship it has left me feeling a bit stupid and boring over the years so I do sympathise. However it's really not ok to respond to that by being angry at him for being who he is, I'm sure he gets enough of that as it is. This is a you problem so you need to get some therapy and sort it out.
He has anger issues, and it doesn't seem like he has any interest in working on those issues.
Should have left after he continued doing this once you brought it up. If he has t stopped now, he likely never will. It may even get worse.
Well,you've already accomplished step 1. Admitting that you fucked up.
Step 2 is learning from it.
Step 3 is don't do it again.
best way to get over someone is under someone else
This advice only applies to casual dating scenarios, not to long term relationships like yours. Toss that out the window.
We've definitely had talks, we both had to assure each other this was a good decision in the ideation, but when it came time to sign the paper that kind of went out the window. So maybe the conversations weren't complete.
You need to leave until he gets therapy at the very least. You're not safe.
Note for anyone else who read this
If you’ve ever wanted to know how a narcissist thinks…this is it
Good lord dude
stop lacking on married women because you think you’re so good looking (and fit, don’t forget fit!) and you’re an executive who can make her dreams happen that her husband can’t. Thats some unhinged thinking and you’re actively trying to wreck a marriage for a girl who’s only been a legal adult for a few years
Leave these people alone
Don't know if this comment will make it to OP, but it seems like OP really likes his wife.
So, just to see it from a different angle, Amanda got your wife drunk, and Amanda violated the trust that your wife had in her. So, if your wife can go no-contact with Amanda, I think you should forgive her for this one time.
From what it seems, she doesn't let her guard down in company of male friends, since, she knows there's a chance of them hitting on her. She trusted Amanda, and probably never expected her to do it (even if Amanda is bi).
Don't let your 9 year old relationship end. But make your wife decide between you or Amanda.
Would I be wrong for getting a divorce over this, what shall I do + any advice you have! Thanks 🙂
Everyone is different. Some people are “experience” people. They want to go out an experience everything possible and may never “settle down”.
Other people are more easily content and feel safe, secure and happy settling down quickly.
You two just weren’t compatible in that regard.
It’s very unfortunate but he was fair and didn’t waste your time for years or ask you to wait around for him to be ready. So many people do that. I hope each day gets easier for you.
I’m not sure what else you can do. You apologized, you admitted it was stupid and why you did it, the only thing left is to ask how you can help assure her. Other than that, she’s going to feel the way she’s going to feel about it. Hopefully she will communicate with you about it, but after you ask how you can help, there isn’t much more to do.
You’re dating a fucking psychotic bitch, my dude. You’re in an extremely toxic relationship with a women with nothing in her head and a lot of anger in her heart and no emotional maturity can be seen for miles around.
She’s too fuckin old to be acting this childish. Too old to be this immature. And you’re too old to be wasting your time with a women who has no content to her character.
Does she have a job? Friends? Hobby? Because it sounds like you’re her job friend and hobby and how dare you use your energy anywhere else but at home. I mean you could try therapy, but honestly? She’s almost 40 and hasn’t learned shit about life. Do you really want to parent a grown women? Don’t you deserve peace, love, and happiness from your partner? Because this childish shit every Friday is not sustainable. My husband and I have very different friend groups and we’ll hang out with each others every now and again, but for the most part we do our own thing with our friends because we have very different hobbies. You know what we do when we’re exhausted after a long friend day? Sit and cuddle and watch tv lol. This could literally be your life if you were dating the craziest most immature 38yo to exist
A lot of people say they have zero tolerance for cheaters but when it comes down to it , there's all this kind of issues to deal with when you find out that someone's cheating, someone whom you know and someone that you're close to.
In other words , your friend's wife is a cheater and the immediate obvious response is to reveal it but there are so many underlying conditions and issues that would come about because of revealing it
No it isn’t. She needs to work on herself a bit because hae has too much going on right now, but we still love each other and wanna be together. That is inherently different from not loving each other anymore and no longer wanting to spend time together and hating each other. A break from school isn’t dropping out either is it
Thank you for writing this. And I agree with you I guess we were both immature, because it took alochol to finally be open. I never view it as not having my expectations met, because they weren’t met. I guess trying to save our friendship caused me more hurt than just being upfront when I realized I had feelings.