This is my first reddit account and I know it might look like it's not real because it was just made, but I am doumbfounded and need people's thoughts on this. This just happened 3 hours ago. I know there's probably a lot of bait on this site but I genuinely need advice. Sorry for any errors, English is my 2nd language.
TLDR: My (20F) gf (21F) thinks that if an animal isnt being hurt physically or emotionally in the process, then zoophilia isn't necessarily bad. She thinks it's disgusting but says that shes not sure if it's always wrong. I don't know how to move on from this and I frankly dont know if I even want to. We;re supposed to be buying tickets to Berlin tomorrow so I have to make up my mind asap.
Today my girlfriend (21F) and I (20F) took a train outside the city to walk our dogs in a quiet place. We've known each other for like 2.5 months and been together for 3 weeks. I'm a lesbian and she's bi, I'm her first girlfriend (this is important because she says something about homosexuality later). Anyway when we were on a train I think that one of us made a dumb joke which made me think of the topic, and I said to her "Btw do you know that there's people on twitter being open and proud of being zoophiles?". Her response threw me off, because it was something along the lines of "I kind of don't know what to think about it, I mean, what if the animal isn't being hurt in any way?". I was thrown aback and said that it's wrong and disgusting, to which she replied "I know that it's disgusting, but for the record some people would say that two guys kissing is also disgusting". I was obviously started talking about how it's not the same thing at all, because there is consent there that's lacking in zoophilia, but she kinda cut me off saying that we should finish this conversation somewhen (is that even a word? it should be) when we're not on a train. I agreed but didn't sop hinking about it. About an hour into our walk I managed to say that we can finish our conversation about zoophilia now (I'm nervous about confrontation and discussing something that I dont agree on with people I care about). She said that she doesn't really know how to put it in words and that she doesnt know what to think about it. I said "Well I know what to think, it's awful and it's assault and it's using them for awful things". We talked about this for like 20 minutes. Her main point was that it's not that obvious and that dogs (we used dogs as examples) and animals have an instinct, and that they sometimes want to do things, and it doesnt hurt them to let them. She said that: she also knows that it's disgusting, but if there isn't physical or psychological damage being done then she fails to see why it would necessarily be a bad thing, to which I replied that it's wrong because a sexual relationship has to be between equal partners, and that animals cannot consent, which automatically means that it cant be ok to engage in sex with them, and that it's basically r#pe. She said something about dogs not being able to consent to being working dogs or to mating with each other either, and that if the animal isnt forced, encouraged etc, to do something, then she doesnt see why it would be bad. I made some points like it's always wrong to use any creature in this sort of way, and that children most of the time don't fight assault but that doesnt mean that they are consenting. She said that that's different because children will eventually find out that it was wrong, and they'll suffer the consequences. I also said that some people are unaware of reality (for example people with dementia) and they would maybe gladly engage in sex with their caretakers, but it would be assault because again! They CANNOT consent! I also told her that it really bothered me how she said "oh people also think that homosexuality is disgusting", and that I felt offended. She said something like "well that's true, some people see it that way", at which point I honestly felt like crying. Her point was basically that anything can be seen as disgusting but that's just opinions. I told her that it's a disorder, to which again with the gays "homosexuality until recently was also considered that". I also said that it can never be excused to do this because it's not necessary like food, it's just fucking selfish, no one needs this. She said that we dont have to agree on this and that her opinion isnt hurting anyone, and that maybe some day she'll find arguments that will convince her to either side. I finally gave up and just changed the topic.
When I left I felt shocked and doumbfounded, and just ??? so fucking confused. I talked to my friend about it and I took a shower, and now the original shock left me, I just feel awful about this. Where tf do I go from here? Am I going crazy? Zoophilia ISNT something that you can have different opinions on, right? Jfc. To make things worse, we're supposed to go to Berlin for a few days in a month, and her dad said that we have to buy tickets tomorrow. So I have to make some sense out of this like right now. I'm kinda second guessing myself (I'm not very self confident) about all of this but god will I ever be able to see her the same way? Should I even try?? This topic and what "opinion" to have on it is such a fucking no brainer that I'm just stunned about her making a complicated matter out of it. I feel so bad about this whole situation
.Oh also, I don't think that zoophilia is the same/equally wrong as r@pe or p#dophilia. It's obviously a very different topic because of how complicated human psychology is. I just needed examples for the conversation.
So I guess that my question is should I break up with her? SHould I tell her how this makes me feel? I know that she knows it's disgusting and stuff, but like… to question if it's wrong? What even. Am I crazy for not wanting to "agree to disagree" on this?
submitted by /u/fuckingfeverdream
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