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He’s going to keep doing it over and over if not with her someone else and may even go further than a kiss. At least y’all haven’t been dating for years cut it now
Oh no, your girlfriend wasn’t a nun before she met you?!? Get over it. There is no way not to sound creepy when bringing it up, because you’re being creepy.
Personally I think you should cut her to bits with a knife then eat her (cooked obviously) then take the bones and make a nice piece of jewelry your welcome:)
It sounds like he is avoiding accountability. Healing from infidelity takes more than 2 years with both parties working on it actively. He needs to drop the judgment because there is no place for it in the healing relationship you both need.
Yeah I think that's my only choice at this point, I was hoping for some insight on how to go about it but I'm realizing that this was probably a bit more of a rant post and that there's really no good way to approach it.
I appreciate the reply! Maybe I'll try approaching the topic of viagra
It was your injury so any payment should have went to you. She collected on an injury she didn't have. Yes, it's fraudulent to file a claim on someone else's injury and keep the money.
Unfortunately he’s a horrible misogynist (among other bad things as well) and is never going to give advice that’ll lead to a healthy relationship. Best not to watch people preach about what men and women want as if they’re all the same.
While I totally get where you’re coming from, my husband doesn’t like gift giving/receiving either. But he is very romantic and attentive in other ways. This is merely a snapshot of an aspect of their marriage.
If he displays this type of behaviour in many other aspects of their relationship then that’s certainly a problem.
I forgot to add this to the post. I’m trying to offer her alternatives such as parting ways, opening up the relationship, etc. She does not want any of it. I am at a loss for what to do.
In regards to it being a lot to put on her after a couple of months, I agree. However, I find that the relationship has been very intense on her end. She is set on getting married and having children, hence why she wants to stay with me. For context, we are both 19.
Overall, I agree with you. There needs to be alternatives and it’s a lot to put on a person. I’m just unsure if there’s anything I can do other than break up with her since she doesn’t want to make any other changes to the relationship.
It is not your responsibility to ensure your child has a relationship with his parent(s). That’s up to him. If he doesn’t like the current situation then he can look for methods to solve the problem and talk to you about them.
If you have plans to sleep with one, either let them both know you're not serious about either, or break it off with one. Otherwise go fuck yourself. Btw, answer would be the same if you were a woman.
If you have plans to sleep with one, either let them both know you're not serious about either, or break it off with one. Otherwise go fuck yourself. Btw, answer would be the same if you were a woman.
Just be a bit vague about it, “my wife had a beautiful and kind soul. She always made me smile. Much like you.” And anything else like that that doesn’t really give any concrete answers. And once you’ve said enough that it sounds like you’ve given a lot of info about her, but really you haven’t, then wrap up with, “I loved her very much, and I will always mourn what we lost, but I’m so thankful I have you in my life now. You’ve brought that love back into my life, and while I’m happy you want to know more about her, you’re who I want to focus on now, because it’s you that I think about when I first wake up and fall asleep now, not her.”
Then, you’re not evading it, but you also aren’t giving her the info you’re afraid of, and you wrap it all up with “I’d really prefer we didn’t talk about her but about us now.”
I would not want to be in the same house as a dog who killed in cold blood. This dog has no business to be around other animals or small humans.
You need to tell your husband how you feel. This will fester is not adressed.
I am so sorry this happened to you.
I can't even give any advice. It's valid that you can't stand that dog now and probably never will again but it's also understandable if your husband refuses to rehome the dog.
I think the best thing here might be to let him sink/swim on his own.
Perhaps give him a few days, then reach out. “Hey! I haven’t heard from you in a few days. Just checking in to see how you are.” Hopefully he’ll reply back and fill you in.
Only you can decide how much of this you can handle/accept. So if he’s just a mess and not trying to even communicate with you a little bit and you decide to take a break with him, then you do that. While I understand that you care about him, you also need to take care of yourself to make sure your mental health and well-being is good.
I can see why his brother might think that. But if your fiance knows about and accepts this behavior, it's none of brother's business. OTOH, if you are doing this behind your fiance's back, then his brother is just trying to warn him and that is fair.
That’s a fair idea. It won’t seem like I’m trying to force him to hang out with me if I do this? I don’t want to put pressure on him that he has to see me.
This may be the call to try AA to get sober. Usually if you are so drunk that u put loved ones in danger , you ve crossed over to alcoholic or on its way.
He is 30 – plenty of time to meet a loyal, trustworthy woman he can build a happy life with. Let her go chat and bang randos who dm her. Going back to a cheater that witheld affection, lied to him about it, told her friends so they all knew his humiliation and refused to come clean until she was caught redhanded sounds like a great person to decide to build his life with…
I wish him the best but I have a feeling he is in for much worse because he refuses to take the (temporarily) harder route and dump her.
You’re both trying to take advantage of each other, but only she succeeded.
Your motivations here were purely selfish. Give her the money for her dog one more time On the off chance it actually is sick and then discontinue this dysfunctional “friendship” completely. Wish her well and move on.
I’m going to second this. As a child that grew up in this kind of dynamic, please don’t do this to yourself or your children. If it’s not what you really want, your children will pick up on what’s going on, they will realize it’s not the life you chose and you’re secretly miserable about it, and they will resent their father for putting you through it. They’ll lose respect for him as a partner and a parent. That’s assuming they don’t internalize that that kind of quiet misery is how a marriage should be and what they should expect in their own relationships.
There may be people who are perfectly happy in fully open or half-open relationships, and that’s fine. But this isn’t the case here with you, and your children will pick up on that.
Please don’t try to force yourself into a dynamic that makes you unhappy.
I just checked my calendar, it's April 4th. Yes this is love bombing. Completely understand why his ex called him overwhelming and got out.
You can't rush a relationship like he's trying to do. Relationships need a good solid foundation if they are going to be successful and healthy and not fall apart.
Let the relationship breathe and settle. Don't even commit to bf gf status until the 1 month mark.
I would suggest worrying all of these thoughts down in a letter and give it to him. At the bottom dry a time and date for you two to have an adult date. Follow through with those plans. Hey a babysitter and take him to do what he likes.
He said it to appease you and diffuse the situation. It isn't realistic to expect to know about every interaction your partner ever has with another person. It must be an absolutely exhausting way to online! You're both individuals with your own lives and both should be entitled to online them.
I don’t make friends with women…that’s a waste of time I see something I like and I approach, that’s what happened and we hit it off it was very organic…once I found out her age we talked about it and we were both okay she is very mature for her age Age wasn’t a issue bro I’ve dated women around her age and mine it was solely my fuck up I just didn’t think she would break up with me over something like this…I’ve learned a very valuable lesson
Let it go. If you can't trust her you shouldn't be dating. I was cheated on- two different partners- so I understand the trauma and the hurt. It is naked, but the right person will earn and deserve your trust.
He’s going to keep doing it over and over if not with her someone else and may even go further than a kiss. At least y’all haven’t been dating for years cut it now
Oh no, your girlfriend wasn’t a nun before she met you?!? Get over it. There is no way not to sound creepy when bringing it up, because you’re being creepy.
Personally I think you should cut her to bits with a knife then eat her (cooked obviously) then take the bones and make a nice piece of jewelry your welcome:)
So you didn’t know he had a girlfriend before you slept with him?
It sounds like he is avoiding accountability. Healing from infidelity takes more than 2 years with both parties working on it actively. He needs to drop the judgment because there is no place for it in the healing relationship you both need.
Yeah I think that's my only choice at this point, I was hoping for some insight on how to go about it but I'm realizing that this was probably a bit more of a rant post and that there's really no good way to approach it.
I appreciate the reply! Maybe I'll try approaching the topic of viagra
It was your injury so any payment should have went to you. She collected on an injury she didn't have. Yes, it's fraudulent to file a claim on someone else's injury and keep the money.
Nah you did good
Please post in r/disability you might get more advice there from people who could relate to you
He met his granddaughter once btw. I don’t see how that matters thiugh
Unfortunately he’s a horrible misogynist (among other bad things as well) and is never going to give advice that’ll lead to a healthy relationship. Best not to watch people preach about what men and women want as if they’re all the same.
When she asks you to kill him because he's “abusive ” and you can fiiiinally be together please say NO
Walk away. You can’t get the past 6 years back and you won’t get back any more of your time you allow him to waste.
Don't forgive that shit. He's an unsupportive swine.
I should
While I totally get where you’re coming from, my husband doesn’t like gift giving/receiving either. But he is very romantic and attentive in other ways. This is merely a snapshot of an aspect of their marriage.
If he displays this type of behaviour in many other aspects of their relationship then that’s certainly a problem.
I forgot to add this to the post. I’m trying to offer her alternatives such as parting ways, opening up the relationship, etc. She does not want any of it. I am at a loss for what to do.
In regards to it being a lot to put on her after a couple of months, I agree. However, I find that the relationship has been very intense on her end. She is set on getting married and having children, hence why she wants to stay with me. For context, we are both 19.
Overall, I agree with you. There needs to be alternatives and it’s a lot to put on a person. I’m just unsure if there’s anything I can do other than break up with her since she doesn’t want to make any other changes to the relationship.
You only talked about what you like what does she like? Have you tried doing what she enjoyed also?
Time to just leave
It is not your responsibility to ensure your child has a relationship with his parent(s). That’s up to him. If he doesn’t like the current situation then he can look for methods to solve the problem and talk to you about them.
If you have plans to sleep with one, either let them both know you're not serious about either, or break it off with one. Otherwise go fuck yourself. Btw, answer would be the same if you were a woman.
If you have plans to sleep with one, either let them both know you're not serious about either, or break it off with one. Otherwise go fuck yourself. Btw, answer would be the same if you were a woman.
Just be a bit vague about it, “my wife had a beautiful and kind soul. She always made me smile. Much like you.” And anything else like that that doesn’t really give any concrete answers. And once you’ve said enough that it sounds like you’ve given a lot of info about her, but really you haven’t, then wrap up with, “I loved her very much, and I will always mourn what we lost, but I’m so thankful I have you in my life now. You’ve brought that love back into my life, and while I’m happy you want to know more about her, you’re who I want to focus on now, because it’s you that I think about when I first wake up and fall asleep now, not her.”
Then, you’re not evading it, but you also aren’t giving her the info you’re afraid of, and you wrap it all up with “I’d really prefer we didn’t talk about her but about us now.”
I would not want to be in the same house as a dog who killed in cold blood. This dog has no business to be around other animals or small humans.
You need to tell your husband how you feel. This will fester is not adressed.
I am so sorry this happened to you.
I can't even give any advice. It's valid that you can't stand that dog now and probably never will again but it's also understandable if your husband refuses to rehome the dog.
My condolences.
You need therapy
I think the best thing here might be to let him sink/swim on his own.
Perhaps give him a few days, then reach out. “Hey! I haven’t heard from you in a few days. Just checking in to see how you are.” Hopefully he’ll reply back and fill you in.
Only you can decide how much of this you can handle/accept. So if he’s just a mess and not trying to even communicate with you a little bit and you decide to take a break with him, then you do that. While I understand that you care about him, you also need to take care of yourself to make sure your mental health and well-being is good.
I can see why his brother might think that. But if your fiance knows about and accepts this behavior, it's none of brother's business. OTOH, if you are doing this behind your fiance's back, then his brother is just trying to warn him and that is fair.
That’s a fair idea. It won’t seem like I’m trying to force him to hang out with me if I do this? I don’t want to put pressure on him that he has to see me.
This may be the call to try AA to get sober. Usually if you are so drunk that u put loved ones in danger , you ve crossed over to alcoholic or on its way.
I disagree – he should rush her out of his life.
He is 30 – plenty of time to meet a loyal, trustworthy woman he can build a happy life with. Let her go chat and bang randos who dm her. Going back to a cheater that witheld affection, lied to him about it, told her friends so they all knew his humiliation and refused to come clean until she was caught redhanded sounds like a great person to decide to build his life with…
I wish him the best but I have a feeling he is in for much worse because he refuses to take the (temporarily) harder route and dump her.
You go swimming.
You’re both trying to take advantage of each other, but only she succeeded.
Your motivations here were purely selfish. Give her the money for her dog one more time On the off chance it actually is sick and then discontinue this dysfunctional “friendship” completely. Wish her well and move on.
to quote start wars It's a trap!
I’m going to second this. As a child that grew up in this kind of dynamic, please don’t do this to yourself or your children. If it’s not what you really want, your children will pick up on what’s going on, they will realize it’s not the life you chose and you’re secretly miserable about it, and they will resent their father for putting you through it. They’ll lose respect for him as a partner and a parent. That’s assuming they don’t internalize that that kind of quiet misery is how a marriage should be and what they should expect in their own relationships.
There may be people who are perfectly happy in fully open or half-open relationships, and that’s fine. But this isn’t the case here with you, and your children will pick up on that.
Please don’t try to force yourself into a dynamic that makes you unhappy.
Theirs really no difference unless wear in a inglish klass
You are part of the problem.
Lady…do you hear yourself? Leave him. This is unhinged, abusive and I'm legitimately scared for you.
I just checked my calendar, it's April 4th. Yes this is love bombing. Completely understand why his ex called him overwhelming and got out.
You can't rush a relationship like he's trying to do. Relationships need a good solid foundation if they are going to be successful and healthy and not fall apart.
Let the relationship breathe and settle. Don't even commit to bf gf status until the 1 month mark.
It's never one person's fault. Her emotions are valid. So are yours. It all depends on how much both of you are willing to work on it.
Then she can get closure with the dinner or he can just say no. That was always an option.
I would suggest worrying all of these thoughts down in a letter and give it to him. At the bottom dry a time and date for you two to have an adult date. Follow through with those plans. Hey a babysitter and take him to do what he likes.
He said it to appease you and diffuse the situation. It isn't realistic to expect to know about every interaction your partner ever has with another person. It must be an absolutely exhausting way to online! You're both individuals with your own lives and both should be entitled to online them.
And birth control
I don’t make friends with women…that’s a waste of time I see something I like and I approach, that’s what happened and we hit it off it was very organic…once I found out her age we talked about it and we were both okay she is very mature for her age Age wasn’t a issue bro I’ve dated women around her age and mine it was solely my fuck up I just didn’t think she would break up with me over something like this…I’ve learned a very valuable lesson
Let it go. If you can't trust her you shouldn't be dating. I was cheated on- two different partners- so I understand the trauma and the hurt. It is naked, but the right person will earn and deserve your trust.