I 32M caught my wife 29F of 3 years cheating last month, I want to divorce but she’s good at hiding her affair!

Hello, my name is John (32m), I just caught my wife Sarah (29f) of 3 years cheating on me last month.

As I'm typing this, jsyk, all my love left for my wife is gone, and my heart is filled with sadness and disappointment, not even mad I'm just indifferent, but, my decision is clear, divorce, I want to move on with my life. Luckily we don't have any children.

I just want to ask; how can I divorce my cunning wife without any evidence of her cheating? What are the steps? What are the procedures? What are my options? Should I just run? Ghost her and start fresh? I don't want to get served before I can and lose half and pay alimony. And no I don't want to reconcile. Are there any people here who faced the same dilemma before?

I don't have much education, I don't have any degrees, but I do have a blue-collar job. I'm a working-class. With my skills, I was able to build my own business.

My wife has two bachelor's degrees and a master's degree, but, significantly, I do have a higher income than her. She hasn't taken off with her career yet.

I don't know much of this legal stuff when it comes to divorce and what my first step should be. I don't want to botch this and pay alimony, I don't want to lose my hard-earned money, I don't want to get burned in the divorce, and I want the best outcome for me to move on.

The only first step I took was to hire a PI to track her movements for 3 weeks, but, we didn't get any. I did it to confront her with evidence so she couldn't escape.

We on-line in an at-fault state, I haven't talked to a lawyer yet, because, I don't know any good divorce lawyers in my area and I don't have any solid evidence.

I haven't informed my parents, because they're having a really bad time right now, I don't want to add more burden for them.

I haven't talked to my friends, because I don't want to bother them, I don't know why, I didn't share because they didn't ask. I guess I like to bottle things up. The only reliable friend I have right now is a bottle of whiskey and a few packs of cigarettes.

D-Day:

Was it just a coincidence or luck or maybe a divine intervention? Because, that afternoon, I was supposed to board a flight to visit my mom for a few days who was sick with breast cancer stage 4 in a different state, but, my flight was delayed/canceled and they booked me on a different flight in the evening.

But I rescheduled my flight in the morning, because, I couldn't have my dad wait for me for long hours at the airport, and have him go back and forth driving with bad eyesight during nighttime just to get me. So I called to let him know of the situation so he could go back home before it got dark.

I got home that evening, my wife wasn't there, it didn't bother me, I was used to her doing a lot of overtime and It wasn't enough to raise any suspicion at that time, because, I'd been to her workplace before to fetch her (her car broke down that time) so I go there after I finished my shift and sometimes wait for an hour or two, or just come back after they finished, they've been pretty busy.

I admit, I was pretty gullible at that time.

But, that night was different, something was pushing me to go to her workplace. I guess my gut feeling came from several unanswered calls I made to her and it didn't sit well with me while I was waiting for her at home.

As I was slowly drawing near, I passed by someone who looked exactly like my wife kissing another man, just outside a restaurant, two blocks away from her workplace.

I wasn't sure if it was her, I was in full denial, thinking, "Maybe I was only seeing things? Are my eyes playing tricks on me? Did I see it wrong? Nah, it's too dark, that's not her, she couldn't do that to me. I just mistook someone else for her."

Back then my mind was in a mess, because of the bad things happening in my life, mainly problems with work and family.

My mental state was not in good shape and problems with my wife were the last thing I wanted to deal with, because, she was my only source of solace.

I wasn't mentally prepared for the shit storm of emotions, but, deep down I knew, that something bad was going to happen.

So I took a U-turn and parked my car, on the opposite side of the road where they couldn't see me, and to my amazement and shock, it was her.

They talked a bit after the kiss, laughing, hugging, and kissing again before she got inside her car and drove away. He walked back inside the establishment.

They're just like two lovebirds, a couple in love, and mind you, it wasn't just a peck on the cheek saying goodbyes after a date, but it was a long, passionate, ass-grabbing, tongue-twisting, french kiss.

I was stuck there frozen, contemplating and a sudden realization hit me like a freight train, "my marriage is dead."

What I saw was gut-wrenching. Every action they took was like a dagger to my heart. Sadness and anger filled me, as I cried on the steering wheel.

I recognized the man, he was a coworker of hers, a subordinate. I also saw him a few times before. She also mentioned him during our conversations, but it didn't bother me because I fully trusted her and didn't mind any of it. Again, gullible.

Eventually, I got home, she was shocked to see me and asked jokingly, "Oh, honey, you're home early?", I replied, "Yeah, I got back a few hours ago, I went out to unwind with some beers, my flight got canceled and rescheduled early in the morning so I need to sleep. My head hurts. " As an excuse so I could avoid her.

In the following weeks, I was indifferent, she remained the same, loving caring wife her approach was getting more and more aggressive like her libido multiplied a hundred times, and she got all touchy and more horny, a very unnatural behavior for her. I was disgusted, but I needed to endure.

When it came to our intimacy during our marriage, all was great, sex was 2-4 times a week before D-Day.

She noticed my sudden change of attitude, I just brushed it off due to work being so hectic and my mother being sick, weighing me down pretty naked.

I think she already noticed that I was on to her that's why she doubled down, because, I was so indifferent, or maybe not, because she knows my dire situation with my mother right now.

Last week, I had an excuse, I was sick, but, I can't keep this charade for long, I want to get out of this marriage.

Is she a pro at hiding her infidelity? I think she is. We couldn't find any dirt on her. I checked her phone, her car and our security cameras, but there was nothing.

I don't want any comforting words or any advice on how to move on, I've already dealt with my emotions and I have already come to terms with it.

I just want to know my options for the divorce.

This is the first time my marriage got obliterated so I'm quite the newbie here. No pun intended.

Please help me. Thanks.