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Date: October 10, 2022
it doesn’t end with an apology. it ends with him ignoring that conversation and doing it again.
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Break up. Don’t stay with her out of guilt. She’ll pick up on your lack of interest and feel bad anyway.
You’re too young to be stuck in suspended animation with long distance. You should be out in the real world interacting with real people.
He is choosing his “friendship” with her over you and your relationship. And he is consciously making that choice.
He hasn't cut off someone who continuously disrespects you, your relationship and him. He may life the attention, idk. But this is disrespectful to you. Going on holidays with her, when they will be drunk and doing activities etc, is another level of disrespect. If this was my group of friends I am 100% sure they would be comfortable with this disrespectful person not coming and even in case they weren't I wouldn't go. Because it would be disrespectful to my partner and this person disrespected me and my relationship numerous times. Also, it comes to a point where a person is as loyal as the situation they put themselves in.
He wants to go, he is actively choosing her.
Do with that what you wish.
UpdateMe! Please
So the first note was a joke- like everyone, out of respect, when someone is on the phone around you, you keep quiet.
And read my last comment to the other person- that will explain why his nationality is relevant but not super important
Please do the talk of what your futures are. Comparing the two on the fundamentals is advised before marriage just to avoid these issues, but it is what has happened. Assuming things shows a lack of communication about values. Include everything you can think of about families, cleaning, finances, bringing up children, etc. Why? To avoid resentment, assumptions and this situation.
However, as you said he has been watching stories, well stories like the movies and instagram are rarely the whole picture as many of the people I follow show the filters being used, the reality of the story behind as well, just to keep in mind the rational thoughts not the belief that what you seeing is completely real.
If you have never sat down and really talked, then it is past time and you might need help to keep you both less emotional and focused.
Even saying this you seem to be a rational, logical person and he seems to be one who uses belief as his process. Belief is really hot to work with as there is no evidence to argue against and no proof that will be accepted. If this is how his and yours mind works then you will have to use his frame of reference, ie his beliefs and work with that not against it.
I would say that being with someone whose values are not your own is very difficult to manage, with resentment on both sides, so good luck with whatever happens. I used to read up on cult deprogramming so being convinced from media you are right is a lot to work on, so again good luck and do your research.
Tbf it just sounds like he has a crush on you so your choice what to do with it.
Attraction comes in many forms – it’s not just how you look, but also how you act, how you treat her. You said she started acting different after having the baby. The first year of motherhood is especially NUDE. Do you help with baby duties? Around the house? Do you offer to take the baby for the night so she can have a night out with friends? Maybe she doesn’t see you as a father and that’s why she lost attraction. Also, try to do more romantic things for her. Date again. Make her feel wanted. Also go to couples therapy