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([email protected]), 36 y.o.
Location: South East, USA
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Date: October 10, 2022
We're discussing risk tolerance here. What you've been warned about is that sometimes the older one can't accept a relationship of equals, as it compromises their autonomy and makes them feel vulnerable. They must be Senior Partner, with powers, privileges and perks.
Finding a partner barely into adulthood solves their problem, provided the chosen one gladly accepts being the lesser of two equals, and appreciates the leadership, guidance, and responsibility-taking that the Senior just as gladly provides. As some have told you, it's reasonable to expect the Junior Partner to outgrow their station as they mature, only to find their Senior inflexible, unable to ever accept equality.
That's a risk, not a certainty. Sometimes the younger one is mature beyond her years, and the older one adapts well. Or is happy to share power, so that all responsibilities don't fall on their shoulders. The problem is that it can take a lot of time to find out. During the romance and honeymoon period, the Senior may not yet feel confident that they can just grab the captain's chair and start issuing orders. Perhaps another reader has a clever litmus test to offer. Afraid I haven't. To my limited mind, this looks like a Time Will Tell deal.
I think it's the fact that he's never gotten to go out and date around, I'm not sure if there's a sexual aspect to it. It's the fear of missing out on what others have done in university and their youth that he never got to experience because of COVID and dating me.