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Oliver Baker, 22 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Oliver Baker
Date: October 12, 2022
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I doubt she is naïve So naive to not know swinging is fine together With your spouse? She knows meeting a man at a swinger party then outside of swinging is not swinging. Her husband maybe one of two AH in this story but don’t make her some innocent little girl.
Definitely plan an activity gift for you too. I don't know where you are located but check out AmazingCo. They do mystery picnic dates where you have to solve clues to get your meal. My husband got us that and it was so fun.
You are dumping her bec she hooked up with a guy when she was single? None of this is as shady as you think imo.
“had a history of jumping from guy to guy” you mean when she was, what? 16-18 if my math isn't failing. At that age is, not unusual for relationships to not last that long, and since people are still dealing with how to deal with all the romantic stuff so I'm not alarmed by her behaviour.
And you do realise 5 is not a high body count right? She has only slept with 3 people more than you, that's not a lot.
Your poor husband
If you ask why he wants to stay with you: He has a comfortable life: he has cheap rent, you do most of the household and when he want sex, he get it. If he want someone else, he cheats. You are his bangmaid. I wouldn't be surprised if he planned it from the started by lovebombing you and lying what you wanted to her. Then as soon as he moved into your apartment and feels save boom the mask drops and he shows his true face.
You are unhappy and life is to short. The person you fell in love mostly never existed. I'm sorry. You deserve so much better and you will find a better man.
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Girl c'mon. He's literally telling you what he plans to do with you.
He's saying with incredible clarity that he's a giant truck driving towards you and he plans to run you over. You're asking us if you should stay where you are or move out of the way.
Leave him Jesus.
Please don’t marry this man OP, you deserve independence and respect
huh, okay. i’ve never been on a team with other guys, so i’ll take ur word for it!
I can't read his mind but I suspect he doesn't see what he is doing as cheating. Alternatively, he thinks it is wrong but still wants to be married to you ( a stable relationship) and have fun on the side.
If he was so naked, keeping your vent closed would have cooled him faster.
He was being controlling and unkind. You deserve better.
I mean I’m not a man i don’t have a dick I would never do this to someone I’m wondering if he was being creepy, if he likes me on a deeper level, or if he was just horny
100% guaranteed OP is posting this just so he can show this to his fiance to PROVE to her that it was an accident.
the clubbing is not at all what people are referring to as cheating. it's the flirting.
Guess I just really enjoy her stuff hah.
So here's the thing. Your father technically owes child support. Unless you guys are incredibly wealthy it's unlikely that that lump sum all those years ago covered all of his financial obligations. So you can blow this up if you want to but be aware that this might end up in things going to court and your family losing even more money because of back pay
“He hasn't been like this before”
So he will change.
He wasn't like this before… he is like it now. He can be unlike this again. Or you leave for your own safety.
3 paths:
he changes and you stay so you can feel safe. he doesn't change, you stay, he gets worse as you don't improve. Abusers get worse. he doesn't change and you put your health and safety first. leave.
you say “he won't change” (although you've admit he's changed). that leaves path #1 in question.
If he's not going to change… then either you accept the abuse – and you didn't respond to how you'd feel about a friend of yours getting hit by a boyfriend – or you leave because you're not safe.
Its not your fault. You aren't doing anything wrong. You need to think about your safety and leave this toxic relationship.
Ok and your waiting to dump him for what? The STD test to come back positive??♀️
Yes in most cases it's the application in atleast me and my youngest siblings case it was not it may have been the case with my older brother. I don't need to believe either of my parents tried to baby trap the other I'm allowed to acknowledge different situations happen where sometimes one partner attempts to baby trap another partner dude.
The only reason I assume it may have happened here is because he harbors resentment over a mutual decision aswell as some of the things she has commented considering he refused a vasectomy it happened right around the time she was almost off the waitlist or was in the process of making an appointment one of the two. If you look at the way she says he talks then it's very clearly a possibility. We may find out tomorrow when she checks the condoms while he's at work. We may find out another way, it may have genuinely been a whoopsie but it just doesn't seem likely here.
Usually on the floor, I grew up sleeping on the floor so it sounds more dramatic than it really is
You know what to do, you just don't have the guts to be alone.
Have you tried asking him directly if this is the case? Obviously he won’t be like “yeah I’m in a cult” but he might be like “xyz is not a cult!” and then you’ll know what you’re working with.
Sis, I did a lot of traveling before my husband and I got married. Thank heaven it was before the era of ubiquitous cell phones. We had to find phones, get a phone card and call so there was not the focus on being available at the drop of a hat no matter what. If you checked in once per day, that was a lot given it was often 10 center per minute or more to make a call. That said, as much as I loved my then boyfriend, now husband, it was really nice not feeling like the choices I was making were being questioned because he didn't get the play by play on my day. He got the 30,000 foot view.
You did nothing wrong. The fact that he jumped right from “she got in a car with an older man who is giving her a ride” to “she's having a wild romp” with said man is a stretch so far that the rubber band broke a long time ago. The fact that based upon that stretched false analysis he BLOCKED you… how immature does he have to be!?! He blocked you and is not willing to engage in a conversation!
Sis, you dodged a bullet. I know it doesn't feel like that right now, but you dodged a bullet. This is the conflict that brought his lack of conflict resolution skills to light. This would have been his answer had you done anything that displeased him. Jump to breaking up and blocking.
The fact is, if this is the extreme he took, he was looking for a reason to break up with you and you gave him a convenient excuse.
She's mentally ill, in denial, unwilling to change and is lashing out.
Nothing you can do my man. Stay with the status quo… probably get some spiraling or divorce. Up to you, to judge what the “less or two evils” is, here.
And it just occurred to me
I would ask your ex-MIL, strongly, why you are the only one trustworthy enough to have the kids.
Because that makes you wonder about his family, her included, and his partners family. And if both of those families are untrustworthy you will be securing a lawyer to revisit custody of your children. You will not allow untrustworthy people in your kids lives. And they are telling you not to trust them.
He can't do shit. You didn't lie, so there's no defamation. You haven't harassed him, either.
I see 3 major problems here, and none of them are your fiancée. The problem is you, your friend, and Sarah. You're a TERRIBLE partner. I'll break down why:
it's being kept alive because Sarah is clearly talking so much about it still.
In the last had strangers to my Fiance come up to me asking about bad shit shes said about Sarah years ago. It's gotten so ridiculous to the point that nobody wants to see her point of view and see what this girl is doing, going out of her way to make my fiance feel uncomfortable in almost any situation they're in the room together. Not saying hi, not being polite, being Catty with the other girls, making her uncomfortable, trying to get her to snap and blow up so she'll say something bad or give them reason to talk more shit.
Such a case was built up against my fiance that she doesn't even want to be around these people anymore because Sarah has made herself out to be such a victim from her actions
Recently at a pre-wedding event with 250 people we held Sarah showed up and snubbed my Fiance at the door and her mother by not even saying hello, proceeded to try and steal all the attention from my fiance and I's event by cutting people off speaking with her and dragging them into her bubble. She and her husband (my groomsman) hosted an afterparty which i was told – Your fiance is not allowed over but you are (my fiance doesn't know this bit it was told to me second hand by a friend)
After we got engaged she told her that nobody liked her – named over 10-12 names directly to her face.
Sarah is a terrible bully of the worst kind, and your “buddy” is going along with it. If he wasn't, he would have not thrown an after-party and not invited fiancée. That was the most disrespectful thing I've ever heard.
And let's move onto you:
were called, fights happened, screaming mostly to the fault of my Fiance
For a long time I blamed my Fiance for saying mean things to Sarah's, citing she caused the fallout and her aciton's and nasty behavior/outbursts of pent up anger lead to this,
My fiance was disliked by alot of people for what happened – this is on her
You literally write this in a way that makes it obvious that you don't even completely take the side of your fiancée and make this out to be her problem that's an inconvenience to you so you're trying to solve it.
And this is the worst of all:
So the wedding is under three months, my fiance tells me last night she had a nightmare Sarah ruined the wedding, she doesn't want her there. What am I supposed to do? One of my best friends is married to Sarah and I want him to stand next to me.
Tbh I hope your fiancée's mom talks some sense into her and she calls off the wedding. A real partner would take their fiancee's side and cut off this entire friend group. Your “best friend” may not be directly causing this situation with his wife, but he's not stopping it, and even worse, you're not stopping it. You talk about the after party like it's just a foot note but it's a huge deal. If you loved your fiancée more than your friend, you would have asked Sarah to leave when she started shit, and you would have said something to your best friend about how fucked up it is to have an after party in relation to your fiancée's party and not invite her. You have 2 choices: you friend group or your fiancée. Even if she marries you, I can guarantee that within 5 years she will divorce you over this situation.
CUT THIS ENTIRE FRIEND GROUP OFF OR CALL OFF THE WEDDING.
This sounds like some highschool drama. Who has time for this shit in their 30s? Also I don't understand why you are friends with these people. Cut them off and move on.
Thanks I will do that!
Agreed – she sounds exhausting.
OP, you are going to single handedly destroy your relationship if this is how you react to him playing. I'm not talking about the emomentary trauma response – I'm talking about entertaining the idea of leaving your husband over THIS. Even entertaining the idea.
lmao you cheated and he can’t take it so he’s getting out deal with it
You gotta cut your losses and just go home. You’re not throwing anything away, you’re making decisions for a better future for yourself.
I agree with you 100%. We said consider donating to a charity of your own choosing, in lieu of giving us a gift.
Hey, no problem. I was wondering if this was part of a bigger pattern. I'm sorry if it is. This isn't okay or healthy.
Couples' counseling only works if someone actually wants to change, and it can be hit/miss, but it'd be worth trying imo. This can't go on like this.
I hope a mental health professional who's worth their copay could teach him how to see and approach his partner as a cooperative Player 2, not like some kind of enemy/verbal punching bag.
Stoping posting this crap. He’s not interested.
Omg thank you so much! I will surely try this.
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Excellent advice! Your Ex sounds extremely immature and doesn't recognize that a good relationship requires good communications between both/all parties. Breakups are never easy, even when there is no doubt the relationship is dead. Focus on yourself gorgeous a while, as you are still young and you are not responsible for helping him grow up. All the best!
He said his adult daughter and sister saw it. And he has to explain I wasn’t mugging him off, but rather joking. I too wonder if that actually happened. It just seems like such a huge over reaction.