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Date: October 15, 2022
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He's 43 and you're 40. OP, don't you think he's a little too old for this kind of behavior?
My advice is to breakup and cut your losses. Hopefully you don't have any kids together. He probably cheated on you and even if he didn't, you didn't know some vital information in this situation. If you knew everything, you wouldn't be upset.
Man dude. Once I took my boyfriend over to my friends house and she got me stupidly wine drunk (I take medication that makes alcohol hit different sometimes and for whatever reason with wine and my meds, I've learned, I will literally feel nothing and therefore not think and just drink and the next thing I know I'm suddenly VERY drunk) and then she tried to get weird and gropy with me (after having just gotten into a relationship to boot…) and I was too drunk suddenly to function and I was definitely about to puke…
I have only partial memories of me texting my boyfriend from my friends room for help, him coming in to me pulling my clothes back on correctly accidently puking on said clothes and her floor, and him just… grabbing some napkins, helping me clean myself up, giving me his shirt since I puked all over mine and taking me home. When we got home I was apologizing like mad and he helped me get through a shower, told me I bad nothing to worry about and asking me if I felt okay or if I needed anything. He knew for a fact it was a bad reaction to the wine (my friend drank twice as much as I did and she apparently didn't remember the night – she thought she had puked on her floor and didn't remember trying to get me out of my clothes… I still don't really talk to her anymore though… she was maybe as drunk as I was if not more) and he said that he was just worried about whether or not I was okay. He even helped me wash out my clothes so they weren't puke covered. No questions asked, no shame, no anger.
After the fact he admitted that he hates dealing with drunk people but also thay I wasn't trying to be violently drunk and that I didn't expect to have that reaction and that it happens to rbe best of us so sure he might have initially been annoyed but he wasn't mad about it.
You have nothing to apologize for, basically. He should have been there to help you and wanted to make sure you were okay.
Honey, please let this go in your mind. Was this slightly inappropriate? I guess maybe, depending on your boundaries. Was it something to torture yourself over for half a decade? Absolutely not.
If my boyfriend did this I literally would not care at all, I'd probably find it a bit funny that his big admission was that he…touched someone's waist. You're human, you had a moment of drunk flirtiness, that's all. If that's your worst sin in 11 years I'd say you're one of the good ones.