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Room for on-line sex video chat NikkiJadi
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Birth Date: 2002-12-15
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Date: October 15, 2022
He signed a divorce settlement that he will pass the house to GF, just like her mom did. He cant sell it legally, or his ex could sue
Prepare to convince him you are NOT a replicant ? Otherwise… he will have you « retired »
10000000% antidepressants could cause this
I would consider that cheating, ESPECIALLY because of how close she is to your gf. That’s absolutely terrible. Unless there’s an arrangement we don’t know about
It's naked tho, I don't like the fact that I can't be in contact with her anymore.
In a discord dalliance like this one, the so-called friendzone is indistinguishable from being in a relationship. Both appear to be filled with texts and video chats. The only discernable difference is you don't update your relationship status on social media and you don't declare that these electronic interactions exist supreme and above all other communication shared with other people. I have to ask, what's the difference?
If the worst things your BF can say about your dad is that he’s annoying and doesn’t have his shit together, he needs to check out the justnoMIL sub.
I can just see the wording of that card now. “Laying in bed, you on your back, I'm sorry I came, inside your pack”
I was there a few years ago with my ex. He blamed me as I should have expected (he was a certain type of person, a liar), I knew he was comfortable with lying to me from a previous experience that happened a few years before that, just another red flag I chose to ignore. I was young and worried about the number of partners I would have.
I stayed in my comfortable space, why not, I'd been there for a good 9 years and it was my golden age, wasn't it?? Also we were engaged and was it worth throwing all that away?? It was….
We had a very messy break up about two years later. I regret not being stronger sooner, and all the extra time I wasted.
Very happy in a relationship now, but I look back with regrets on how silly and blind and lazy I was with myself and my own happiness. My happiness means something to my person now, it is completely different. I know I'm loved now, I know I can trust my partner and his love for me, I know he'd never cheat on me. It's so nice to be safe in that love. I hope you find that love for yourself with a divine soul mate, after you're done with this arsewipe.
I used to feel guilty about not wanting to be with my ex anymore. The guilt vanished over time to be replaced with resentment. I think he was an animal and not on my level of spiritual wisdom at all. I feel only relief at escaping him now. You will feel the same.
She has really bad hormones on her period. Everything causes her to get sad, angry, anxious or upset. It’s really naked to manage as a boyfriend because she expects a lot when she’s on her period like me running to the car to meet her down the block or me stopping what I’m doing to answer her calls (even if at work). Things like that.
This is beyond predatory behaviour and what he's doing is trying to groom you.You need to be strong and leave.This is a narcasstic man and he thinks your his sex slave. You have rights as a woman and one of them is being completely comfortable and having your consent to experiment. If your not comfortable with any sexual experience don't do it.
It sounds like your partner is forceful and sexually exploiting you and breaking you down with your self esteem.
As a young woman that's 21 you don't need to be in a manipulative and toxic relationship. It's beyond unhealthy and dangerous and I would be reporting him to the police. There are places like women's shelters that can protect you and also seek professional help as these traumatic experiences will leave invisible scars.
This man,and he says he's your partner but he deserves jail time! For the debauched horrific things he has done to you and sharing you as his partner that speaks volumes this is disgusting and this is how pedophiles act.
They isolate you,they are friendly towards your family and friends which they infiltrate the closest people to you. Once they have your trust this is how they treat you and this is called grooming and please seek some help after you leave this sadistic and toxic man.
You might not feel it now but remember he's destroyed you and you getting away as far away as possible. No contact whatsoever delete phone numbers,social media and no matter what do not go back to this man or the relationship.
This isn't what a healthy relationship looks like it's ownership. He doesn't love you he's treating you with complete contempt and is happy to destroy you physically, mentally and emotionally. You deserve a man,that loves you for who you are not degrade you like your partner has.
You are 21 you have your whole life ahead of you don't let anyone ever treat you like this again.
I hope you find the courage to leave and Good luck.
There isn't enough info on what exactly your sister entails, but I could probably share some perspective from a husband as well.
One of our biggest fears is having the safety and peace of our own home compromised. From his perspective, why the hell would he welcome that possibility? You can say that you'll be responsible for her, but he's responsible for you.
Love is blind.
Love is blind.
i trust her. but i still overthink. and she's the most supportive person in my life. but i still overthink and am anxious about losing her.
A million ways, that’s what every lame nice guy would say. Your texts need to be teasing/interesting/fun/mysterious in their content and frequency, so she just can’t help but reply, you’re not giving her anything to work with there. Tell her some funny thing that happened on your thx giving, or sth like “PS I told your mum not to let u trough the whole turkey this year. Better to not ask questions in general, but just to lay bait
People don't just lose interest. They lose respect, they feel neglect. It's not like you wake up one Tuesday and day “I lost feelings”
It takes months of ignoring your partners vote needs before they're unhappy enough to struggle through the life upheaval and discomfort that is ending a long term relationship or marriage.
So don't be a dork, pull your weight in life, remember what have and you've worked for and pay attention. Or some other dude will.
I said that I will not react or respond as long as my spouse corrects the person for me, and specifically prior to arrival.
I've been through a similar situation at work. It turned out the guy was just toying with me. What a sleaze. I would avoid him at all costs.
It’s not ok for him to show pictures of his body parts without first asking if you’re interested in seeing. To his mild defense, you engaged in discussion about his penis….but that still doesn’t make it ok.
Next time you see him and each time after that…..no flirting.
If you feel like you need to say something to him you could try something like, “I know we were flirting, but it really made me uncomfortable when you showed me that picture.”
This is a life lesson for you. Flirting tends to escalate….and you really don’t know what’s next. If you’re not interested in a big way…no flirting.
I SAID OVER EASY!! nah yeah that's not cool man. No matter what the issue was. No way in he'll I'd ever do that with my wife. Pretty shitty.
Two adults dating is not a big deal at all, 100% agree with you. A 6 years age gap is not a problem neither, so all tranquilo, amigo.
But, it's never about the age gap, but where that age gap is, you know what I mean? A 19 years old dating someone 6 years older is… weird at best, but it ain't really a good look, a lot of things change when you go from your teens to your adult life.
A 31 years old dating someone who is 37? All good, they're probably on the same page life-wise.
Also, she is your boss. I can't stress this enough, mate. There is a power dynamic that's not OK right there.
I’m curious, what are you reading and researching that solidifies your choice to be one and done? Only children I’ve met—at any age are egotistical social terrorists. I said what I said
She can’t take the rejection. She has no idea what 30, 35 and 40+ will be like. He was invisible to her for so many years, until she needs a wallet. Now she pretends to be attracted to him. Smart man, seeing through it.
Just to clarify I wasn't saying she cheated, she didn't, my point was that even though It might not bring out anything good it's best to be honest about this. I agree with the secrecy and privacy point, I just think this falls in a grey area between the two.
This doesn't sound like the kind of person worth fighting for.
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I know people say go to marriage counselling often but I think couples counselling could be a great help here. And it might turn out that to guys are not compatible. And maybe it can help you find a compromise between. Maybe she can learn downhill skiing and you can do that with her. And the next day she can have a spa day or day reading in front of the fire whilst you go cross country skiing.
But definitely no children. Make sure your protection is safe. It always surprises me the people who babytrap. She may want to force you to the next stage. But hopefully she is nothing like that.
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In this case, yes.
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I think it’s entirely normal that you don’t appreciate these interactions, nor do you find them acceptable. You have every right to feel that way, even if it is a more conservative view point than many may share. However, I think the way you go about dealing with these conversations isn’t okay. The men approaching your partner aren’t doing wrong and don’t owe you anything. Neither is your girl. I do think, however, that you need to have a talk with your girlfriend about this and how it makes you feel. She needs to know you don’t find these interactions pleasant or acceptable, and set boundaries on what you’re okay with when they do happen. She’ll do the same, and ideally you’d find some sort of compromise. If these men and catch-ups don’t mean much to her (which I’d hope they don’t) then you’d be able to agree and decide on the appropriate way to handle them. For example, she can make sure to keep it quick and short, without jumping into her want to genuinely catch up. However, if this does mean a lot for her to do, then it might just be something you have to put up with if you want to be with her. On my end, Both my partner and I find it completely unacceptable to be friends with or have any contact with an ex. Even when I don’t find it that big of a deal, out of love and respect for my partner, I wouldn’t allow a chat with a past hookup be worth upsetting my partner. Compromise is okay and healthy. Run ins happen, but you can be polite and short. There should be no long time to catch up, just a quick hello and goodbye. However, others completely disagree and in that case, you either compromise or find someone that thinks like you.
I wouldn’t have a problem with him not wanting to online together just yet, but I would have a problem with him moving far, which would make it a ldr. I wouldn’t do it. That’s just me.
Some guys are always sniffing about for an opportunity. No doubt about that.
You also proved me right. Thanks for that.
That is fucking hilarious
Tennessee. They are only now “considering” making exceptions. If you need one here, you have to either travel or go through lawyers.
“He is mature for his age.”
Are you hearing yourself right now? That sentence gives “I'm trying to rationalize my feelings for someone who is quite possibly a kid.”
Just because he has his own place and has an income doesn't mean he's emotionally mature enough to handle relationships that you need and expect when you're 24. Even if he has a traumatic past and has grown to mature faster, that still doesn't mean he's fully trained his eye to see red signs.
The way he lied about his age shows his immaturity. That is a breach of boundaries, yet he said he was going to tell you “eventually.” Does that mean he's waiting until you're absolutely committed and then drop this bomb, or find the right timing? Will the right time to tell you ever come? That's disrespectful, and he clearly didn't think it through, like you know, how young people do.
And if you're STILL thinking “But, I can teach him to be more mature, I can be with him, I can look past this” stop it. Think about this stage in life for you. You've graduated college or you're working on your career at this point. You're thinking about getting married a few years later. Stability is what you yearn for at this time when you're 24. What about him? He's at his young adult age where he's finding and learning things about himself. He is stepping into the adult world for the first time. 18 is where you try new things to get a sense of what you want and building yourself. What were you thinking and doing at 18 yourself?
Expect him to not try any other things that might conflict with your relationship because his time is spent maturing faster to keep up with you. He's gonna change himself to fit what you need because of he's scared to lose you. He's gonna commit to this one relationship because at your age, it's a serious game. Why would you ever, EVER, rob him of his youth, just because you're afraid to let him go and that the two of you love each other?
Why are you rationalizing a relationship with someone who is fresh out of highschool, when you, I assume, already graduated college at your age?
This is sad everyone but it IS a deal breaker. I don't understand why you're so confused.
Dump him. You don’t need angry fappers in your life.
Almost no one marries their first partner. You just don't pick one and done. You date, look for red flags, and if you see one you break it off and move on. You've seen a red flag. Move on. When you are ready to date again you pick someone that you are attracted to and seems like a good person. If they have a red flag, you break it off.
Your wife volunteered for bikini shots without your input?
That's a breakup, dawg.
By the way, she's cheating on you.
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If your job is so pathetic then your husband will have no problem with you quitting 🙂
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If he wants you to sacrifice your earning potential and be entirely dependent on him then he needs to guarantee your financial well-being now and in the future with a pre-nup that accounts for the financial independence you'll lose, and for whatever you'd have been able to provide for your kids through working. If this relationship ever goes bad and you need out you would be royally screwed unless you've got your own income or have full assurance that you'll be provided for either way. Have your own lawyer to represent your interests in the terms of the pre-nup, and he should have his own as well, to ensure you're both protected and that it will stand up to any challenges in court in case you should divorce and either of you no longer agree to the terms.
Let me stress that you should only do this if you would actually be okay with giving up your goals to stay at home. Do you think that would be a fulfilling life for you? If not, don't do it.
Hes not a good person if he is abusing your daughter. You should be protecting her. My hear breaks for your daughter.
Everyone in this situation is sensationalizing the age gap. You met him after he was 18, so there really isn’t any grooming occurring, just a consensual relationship between adults. You do, however, need to take responsibility for the fact that you bowed to sexual pressure by threat of suicide so the foundation of your relationship is a naked mess. Just be single and tell anyone accusing you of grooming that they are acting hysterical.
This is only the beginning of an abusive relationship. Classic abuser , hits and gets angry and later on apologizes , rinse and repeat . You have just allowed her to get away with it . She will do it again for another reason on another day and so on. Sorry but IMO she's not even worth it
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YOU are not supposed to do or say anything. Simply block and ghost him. Delete him from any social media. He won't be surprised. This cannot possibly be the first time this has happened with him.
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Op- look up dead bedrooms. That’s what you in effect have. It rarely gets better and it’s heart wrenching.
You have some soul searching to do to see if this relationship is really what you want.
I wouldn't care about the porn.
The fact he is catfishing women is a real problem
He probably thinks he’s being cutesy. I would be pretty direct and let him know you do not appreciate it and will no longer respond when he does that.
I personally would tell him he can have one freebie at some point (just in case you do have something to say to him after he does this).
But straight up, next time mute him for the night.
Put up the boundary and hold firm. Only advice I can give ya
Is this something she wanted, or you did?
I do want to say that to me, a crush is not really serious. It’s a dopamine hit. I would still tell me husband and make sure he could be a part of every interaction I had to have with that person to stay comfortable. Communication is key and it’s important to be honest with your partner, always.
If you wanted this break because you can’t trust that she actually wants to still be with you, I get where you’re coming from. I really hope it works out. Don’t cut off all communication if you can. Schedule some chats at routine points to check in.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with someone when you know you know. Who can afford rent these days whilst saving for a house deposit? Renting is wasted money imo.
Time for love and logic.
Purpose is to separate the love from natural consequences.
Lead with empathy-this is coming from somewhere for your mom, and she's obviously handling it terribly. Then tell her what you will do if she does not respect your boundary, and do it.
You are an adult and can make your own choices. If you want her opinion, you'll ask for it. If she attempts to parent you again, you will move out so you can both establish healthy boundaries, because you value your relationship.
It isn't weak. If it turns a woman off, she sucks
I agree with you that it would be stupid to consider getting together and settling down with this person, but shouldn’t we at least feel it out? For all I know, this could lead precisely nowhere. Maybe we just end up close friends and confidants. I know for sure she’s not looking to get married again anytime soon. It’s all about making sure we’re on the same page, right?
He's helped me through some of the hardest things in my life.
Sorry i could have made it more clear, we do know things about each other, it just feels like we dont have a deeper connection, think i dont know what he wants from life and his future
Agreed. Women or men who knowingly fool are with married individuals are far from innocent in home wrecking. Looks like fiancé is about to get her comeuppance and he gets to pine away over the life he had but flushed away.
You bring it up just as you wrote it here. Hey (bf name) you didn't speak to me in the beginning of our relationship like you speak to me now. I don't particularly like it. Can you please respect my wishes and not speak that way/tone. I don't want to feel uncomfortable around/with you.
Could it be how your mother and sisters/aunts, etc dressed when you grew up. So you learned to admire women in traditional style and find it endearing?
You can appreciate a style of dress without yourself being misogynistic.
My parents were born in the 1920's. I find those styles endearing. When I see a modern starlet dressed in period clothing I think they are quite attractive.
for the first 3 years he couldn't keep his hands off me
17 +3 = no longer a teen….
Jeez!
She isn't even a bus stop on the way, but the very last stop.
I bet you think it's the way a woman dresses that gets her raped too….
I mentioned the things she did so i wouldn’t talk about myself much.. Now if i say what i did your just gonna say it wasnt nothing butttt… I payed the bills, took care of her car and any more physical demanding things she needed done, drove her to her girls nights and everywhere else because she had anxiety with driving, took her out on dates, talked to her about her day all the time & then also would talk about what she wants out of life.. would you say that i was being a Father to her ? Just like you said she was being a mother to me ? See how it plays both sides. && i never Bragged about her body l, i described her so it could paint a picture in your head what she looked like.. The body was the least important thing in the relationship. It was her inner self that i fell in love with.
You believe he wouldn’t cheat, but yet he is allowing another woman to brazenly flirt with him and revels in her attention.
He’s already disrespecting you, and your relationship. They’re testing the waters to see just how much they could get away with. If you do NOTHING, you’re going to be the fool he comes home to play house with and placate you with a few “I would never hurt you”s and “I love you/you’re my wife”s. A good partner would shut that shit down immediately, would mention “do you think it’s weird that Ashley seems to be like… coming on a little strong??” It’s not a problem to have opposite sex friends, but it IS when they are clearly after your partner and aren’t even being subtle about it.
Shut that shit down, NOW or honestly, maybe even just let it go. Why would you want to stay with someone who doesn’t respect you enough to stop “flirting” with another girl?
Yes, it is a red flag for him to flirt with you.
If he goes for you, most likely it’s just for your looks which will fade with time, as well as his interest in you as you’re boring. He’ll eventually cheat on you with a younger prettier girl, or leave you for someone who is actually interesting to him.
Be a better person and stop flirting with someone else’s boyfriend. Also, have more self respect and don’t settle for a cheater.
Kids deserve to have two parents who enthusiastically want them. I’m sorry you’re going through this but you’re right to stand firm here.
I feel like we are missing a chunk of the story. How long have you been friends with these people? How did you meet them? Did they know your ex before you dated him? Why did you break up?
Boss feels important and that they deserve someone to anticipate their needs and make them look good, secretary's status comes from the person they're working for.
What are you doing? You’ve been dating, what, a few months? She started up with you behind her bf’s back, and she cheated on him a lot. She’s already cheated on you.
Then, she’s the 2nd gf you’ve had in your entire life.
This is madness. Do not move in together. Do not elope. And Sweet Jesus, wear a condom.
Will a criminal record and jail time affect his ability to get a good job? Probably, it will prevent him from being able to get any job where a security clearance or criminal check is required, so most white collar jobs. So yes it will affect you and any children you may have in the future.
I mean attempting to defend the authenticity of my comment to a stranger on the internet who is hell bent on being right would be in vain so all i can say is Okay? Take it as you want.
Cause in the heat of the moment logic and reasoning sometimes go out the window? Everyone acknowledges that unprotected sex can lead to children, it still doesn’t make it an absolutely certainty that this child is his.
I stand by my belief in that getting a paternity test within the first 4-5 months of dating a woman is nothing but a logical step forward. I never said it was an easy step forward and I 100% agree that there is an accusation of infidelity on his part but it’s clear that that level of trust has not been developed within 4-4 months and I totally understand that.
Plus, I can’t see how a paternity test is not the only option anymore. He’s thought about it & he’s asked a public forums opinion about it. There’s no way going forward that He will be able to raise this child properly and with the love and nurture it deserves without the shadow of a doubt being cleared by a paternity test. It may end up costing him his relationship with the kids Mother but at least he’ll know it’s time to buckle down cause he’s about to be a father. Or he takes the other route and becomes a POS deadbeat but that’ll just be another Reddit post down the line or something.
If you are trying to find a man that doesn’t watch porn you’ll most likely die single. Think of the other things in the relationship. Is he making you happy otherwise? Is he a good fit for you otherwise? If he is not doing that excesivly to the point of ignoring you for it, i don’t see the problem. If you are not happy in the relationship, break up.
7 and 8 should be enough for you to let him go
I mean… this has basically proven that he was correct to be concerned, right? That if you had noticed it really would have become a circus.
He expressed that this relationship is negatively impacting him. That he has a panic spike over something that really shouldn't matter. That he is so conscious of you and your reactions that it impacts him to this severity even when he is alone. That is scary, it is a sign of just how toxic this all has become.
You need to be real about that. He is worried about how he is changing, you walked away focussing on the example. This may be a relationship that is hurting him in ways you don't realise yet.
Nah man this is messed up. The facts are, he invited you over, you had sex, then he decided to tell you he met someone after y'all had sex. That is messed up for you and for her.
It seems to me that he knew what he was doing. He wanted to have sex one last time and didn't want to tell you until after because you might have said no. It seems like he used you as his “one last fuck before he commits” and that's kinda messed up that you had no say in it.
And Idk why this sub thinks that being in a FWB relationship instantly means you aren't entitled to a certain level of decency and respect. And the fact that he knew the dynamic was going to change before you two had sex shows a lack of respect to you.
Don't talk to him again.
I second the custody arrangement and also sue her for child support.
You’re dating a shit head. Bring up your hurt feelings and if he dismisses them then you either shut up and enjoy dating a shit head or you break up because you know your worth. FYI this is the cutest thing ever and most partners would be grateful.
I was in a very similar situation when I was even younger than your daughter. My father gave nothing in the way of child support, remarried a much younger woman, and had my half sister. He was, granted, a bit of an ass. Still, even though I have literally been there, I am having trouble mustering up any empathy for your daughter at all.
I can’t imagine feeling so entitled though as to have your daughter’s reaction. None of his life choices had anything to do with me, and as an adult, he was free to make them. Plus, my stepmother and half-sister are absolutely lovely people. I can’t imagine wishing them away so that I could stomp around like a small child wanting to remain the apple of daddy’s eye even as a legal adult.
Or reddit in general
when it is more important then then the important things in life.
I know. I've dealt with alot of misogynistic stuff from people before. From men & women
Such a unique situation and something I don't think we'll ever go through again.
On the one hand I'm hoping my fiance and I can have a healthy conversation discussing our boundaries that will in turn strengthen our relationship, but on the other I'm just really annoyed that this has happened so close to us getting married.
Bachelor and hen party culture is so weird.
Your girl's got Bill Clinton beat.
That sounds exhausting, and borderline abusive. Like, its one thing if these “standards” are things that you agree with, like finishing a degree or getting help for alcohol abuse. But making a bunch of small shit dealbreakers for marriage is completely ridiculous. Tell him that you are who you are and that this behavior isn’t acceptable and he needs to get his act together if he wants you to say yes if he proposes.
Why are you trying to have a baby with someone you don't even online with? Doesn't seem like a very stable situation to me.
He has repeatedly shown you that he will not change, believe him when his actions show you that
oh the lies for love….
I'm severely allergic to cats. Like I can't hug cat owners bad. Honestly I just wouldn't date a cat owner and if I the person I was dating got a cat I'd break up with them. I don't want to be in a situation where I have to ask someone to get rid of their pet. At the same time… I'm gonna be honest cat owners sometimes y'all can be real dicks about someone having allergies (Not saying the GF was in this case I'm talking strictly about my interactions)
I'm severely allergic to cats. Like I can't hug cat owners bad. Honestly I just wouldn't date a cat owner and if I the person I was dating got a cat I'd break up with them. I don't want to be in a situation where I have to ask someone to get rid of their pet. At the same time… I'm gonna be honest cat owners sometimes y'all can be real dicks about someone having allergies (Not saying the GF was in this case I'm talking strictly about my interactions)
$120 per guy for the show seems about right. She’ll likely collect tips and linger for “private dances” all for an additional fee of course.
sometimes it's better to keep quiet
38 years old man here. I know A LOT about life and this thing called compromise. No, it's not better to keep quiet, by any means. And if he chooses not to believe you, that's another problem to solve. But you should have told him about those events, 100%.
Just break up with him. After the second time he rejected me, I would probably be done. Sounds like a very one sided sexual experience. What do you get out of it?
Change is something we used to get after paying with cash. Now we use credit cards and no longer get change. People don’t change. Don’t expect her to.
This is really unfair. When my husband and I got married, he had like 20 family guests maybe? I had 5 and only because I invited 3 very distant aunts because my grandma insisted on inviting them, but she herself couldn't attend because she's the least healthy 92 year old on the planet and is bed bound. Yeah, I was a bit sad but that was because I've been NC with part of my family, otherwise I would have had maybe like 9 guests lol. I wasn't sad that my family is so small, I was sad because it reminded me of why we went NC and because we were very close way back before they turned out to be major aholes. So it was personal stuff like that, not due to the comparison of numbers. It didn't even occur to me that my then fiance shouldn't invite his guests? That's ridiculous. Families are so so different, I don't think anyone ever has the same number of guests on both sides. It's also not a competition. Like it doesn't mean anything, it is not a judgment on the spouse that they have fewer guests? One family had more babies, the other did not. It doesn't reflect on the spouse at all. It's weird.
Her acting as if everything was good up until the moment he walked in the door isn’t normal its manipulative
Dude! I mean, usually you get at least one response with “If you don’t trust her,why are you in a relationship with her?” Or this gem, “You don’t have think that male and females can be friends?” No one is saying that here. Everyone is telling you something is off…
I think it’s going to be pretty challenging to find an adult who works regular hours that can push it up with you so late on a work night. Maybe on the weekend but during the week?
Maybe just see each other on Friday/Sat so she can get the rest she needs and you can enjoy your free time? Fuck first before the movie instead of waiting for “bedtime”?
I’m sure she always had this bedtime but was trying to keep up with you at the beginning. It’s just not sustainable for most people to have so little sleep.
So you could date someone who works second shift maybe? Someone who works at a bar?
But most adults are going to be heading to bed by 10 if they have to get up in the morning.
I (44F) would prefer to keep my night owl hours but that doesn’t work for me since I have to be up and working by 5am most days. We usually head to bed by 8/8:30 on weekdays. But Friday and Saturday night? We are more like the 2-3am bedtime.
I can understand from a point of view why you wanted to help these girls. Your heart was probably in the right place but from an outside POV I can understand why your girlfriend reacted the way she did. It sounds sketchy as fuck. My dude, you need to get counselling and therapy sessions ASAP. Look into sleeping medications, therapy and stuff that may possibly help. Start volunteering work and helping troubled teens, homeless shelters etc. I can see why you would want to help someone in trouble. But it does sound like you are taking advantage of these young girls. Even if you hadn’t done anything wrong. We all like being the friendly stranger and being helpful to others. But sometimes a good intention when you think about it clearly. Is actually messed up
So if I still want to be friends there’s nothing I can do. Just wait and hope that she changes her mind?
I’ve asked another friend and she’s told me it’s silly to expect her to reach out to me, which does kinda make sense to me.
It was your first time having sex so you’re obsessed and repeatedly posting about him? No. That’s creepy as hell and 4 days ago you were posting in the same tone about a completely different guy. You need help. It was a guy at the bar who doesn’t even know you
Thank you. I am doing that yes.
So, I have a better emotional connection with my cat than your bf has with you. And my cat is a selfish AH, y’know, a typical cat.
This guy says to your face that he doesn’t care about your feelings. Why on earth are you with him.
Don't feel bad, she did that to herself. You are not doing anything wrong by cutting ties with her.
Honestly why would you want to stay friends with somebody like this besides your sense of guilt? If there is nothing else, you aren't even friends in the first place.
Think of it like this, you are actually not respecting her as a friend if you only stay in contact because you feel bad for them. That is kinda patronizing imo and if you want to respect her then just cut ties already and she can go figure her shit out on her own.
Like, would you want somebody to stay friends with you ONLY because they feel bad that you don't have any other friends?
I’m the person they are replying to I’m clearly not saying I’m the wrong one.
Also yes there is evidence she’s with him.
It may very well be a “huge difference” as 1 vs 50 (or however many) but the act is still the same; fucking for money. That is the part that is relevant. Trying to downplay it based on a numbers game is disingenuous. The issue isn't how many, the issue is what you're doing with them
It may very well be a “huge difference” as 1 vs 50 (or however many) but the act is still the same; fucking for money. That is the part that is relevant. Trying to downplay it based on a numbers game is disingenuous. The issue isn't how many, the issue is what you're doing with them
Truly that is a very kind thing to say. To tell a stranger the truth they need to hear to help them. Thank you so much.
Would it change your view if i listed all of the lovely things he has done too hypothetically? Because thats also in my mind. And naked to get out of it
Yeah at the end of the day Op clearly only cares about herself. Pestered and coerced her partner into something you clearly didn't want and even continued when he cried. That's some sick shit and he needs to get away asap.
Pack a bag and get somewhere safe asap. Your husband sounds exactly like the kind of man that murders their spouse before turning the gun on themselves.
Sorry it’s out of your hands. It was kind of you to offer help but you can only do so much when the other party is not willing to receive help. Just pray a silent prayer that this doesn’t end poorly for her.
I’m pretty sure posting this pathetic post is all they have going on in there life lol
Men don’t get tested for HPV so how would have known? Only women get screened for it during their paps (and only for the high-risk trains)
Sex Ed is severely lacking. There’s so much misinformation here.
I'm most fixated on the possibility of my husband one day asking for an open marriage. I'm depressed about my mom being right and my husband possibly changing his mind to have a kid without me. Sounding like if I want to keep my husband, I have to explore that option of open marriage, which I really don't want to do.
Does that possibility seem reasonable to you? Was it something you had even considered or discussed with him before your mother said something about it?
I see in other comments you mention your cultural background is Asian. As I'm sure you know, there's a lot of cultural stuff bound up with having children, and having children by any means necessary, AND shaming those who do not have children, for any reason.
Your husband may change his mind in 10 years and decide he really does want to have children. Nothing you can do will change that. You two married with all the cards on the table as you held them at the time – that's all anyone can ask for. You can't tell the future, and neither can he, and neither can your mother.
I really urge you to seek counselling on this – it sounds like it is really affecting your life day to day in a very unhealthy way.
Unfortunately this type of behavior escalates over time. And I don't want OP to be in that situation.
she lied multiple times about what she was doing, and you're supposed to believe the other bs she says?
and then she doesn't want to go to the police although she was forced into sex acts… because it would ruin her rapist's life? now, what reason would she have to protect him…? hmmmm…
oh, add in the fact that you know her last relationship ended because she cheated… bro, what is there even to consider?
personally, there's zero chance i'd stay with her. I wouldn't even hang out with her anymore– there's nothing stopping this idiot from claiming YOU tried to rape her once she's decided to move on from you.
I couldn't keep this for myself and told him about this post I wrote. It looked like an epiphany to him and he took notes on his phone. He told me he's gonna confront her tonight and he needs to accept that if she doesn't want to hear all of this, stopping things with her is something he has the right to bring in the discussion. I'm afraid he will step back once he's under her fury, but I hope it will make him realise how wrong things are with her.
I hope I'm not being delusional 🙁
My guy, you're going to lose her. You can build your financially security with her.
No one said it won't have an impact the same way trauma can I apt you if you are abused. Still won't kill you like lack of food/breathing and you know it
It can be pretty exhausting to be someone’s “emotional support animal” in addition to floating them financially.
I can appreciate that it’s been a rough couple of months though and none of it is your fault.
I think if I were in your shoes, I’d take a job—any job, even at a gas station or McDonald’s—while looking for other work in your field so that you’re not a financial burden.
I’d also recommend that you get outside, take walks, maybe volunteer walking dogs at the local shelter or other volunteer work where you’re helping others.
You need to get out of the house, give him some space, and try to be more careful about your mental health and the load you’re putting on your partner. Maybe start journaling and take your notes to your therapist instead of laying them at your partner’s feet. He’s not a mental health professional and is young—he likely lacks the capacity to help you.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. You might be able to give her the information and advice she needs but she still might go ahead with marrying him. In which case, stop talking about the relationship and support her instead. Stay in touch with her and give her support if she seeks it.
With income-based repayment, she shouldn’t have to pay all that much ever. It doesn’t matter if the principle and interest grow if it will be forgiven anyway. It shouldn’t keep you two from doing anything you want to do in life.
I understand that having this amount of debt is stressful. But it’s really not insurmountable and definitely not any reason to end a relationship that is otherwise great.
I know this may sound very dumb to you guys but I am from a culture where getting a divorce isn't socially that well accepted, and plus my parents are so desperate to keep us from getting separated. These are honestly making me even harder to move forward.
He's lying through his teeth. He took the meds, retook the test and showed you the second one. Dump his ass
He's lying through his teeth. He took the meds, retook the test and showed you the second one. Dump his ass
No, he's absolutely allowed to grieve, but he should still be supportive of his partner who bore the brunt of it. He doesn't get to ignore her needs because he is grieving. They are both grieving and both need to rely on each other. If he's only putting himself first, it's not helping her.
Especially when she said it would be help her through her grief to revert back to Plan A. Cost isn't a factor in that, but he brings that into play. Why?
I'm saying she should push there because she needs it and he's got no valid reason to say no. He's still going on the cheaper honeymoon, so he's clearly fine with honeymooning. Why is it such a problem to let her have the honeymoon she wanted? Why does she really need to sacrifice that?
He could have postponed it, if grief was going to interfere. He didn't do that. She would then still have hopes of her dream honeymoon instead of having to compromise on that for all of eternity. He used money as the reason when it's not a factor in the equation at all. He is deliberately denying her something knowing that would help her while giving invalid excuses as to why. That's pretty selfish even if he's grieving.
This requires a push, like I'm saying. Push to find out what the real reason is, or push to get the mental break she needs to feel better or both. He's not being forthcoming with his reasons for not being supportive of her. She needs his support. He's ignoring her feelings while she is also grieving. She should not be denied relief from her pain.
I'm not saying he doesn't get to grieve, but he doesn't get to ignore his partner's grief in the process. Grief over the loss of a child is a large reason couples divorce or relationships break up. A lot of that is from dealing an unsupportive partner who is too wrapped up in their own grief and ignores their partner's grief. This is typical of quite a few of the divorce cases I worked on, so I've seen it. Yes, everyone grieves differently and on their own timeline, but you don't get a pass for not supporting your partner through mutual grief.
Yeah, but it works either way.
They're not common among all the content that is available, it's just facts. Again, try finding some illegal content and hit me up I'll be happy to see your evidence
They're not common among all the content that is available, it's just facts. Again, try finding some illegal content and hit me up I'll be happy to see your evidence
Because I’ve worked with communities who had these imbeciles turn up before, and here’s how it works.
If you don’t let the rich smug assholes show up like they’re on holiday, you get less money.
If you tell them, no matter how gently, that their “help” is actually just a massive disruption to the routine of the people in need, and that the cost in emotional energy and attention of coddling them for a day makes dealing with them a drain, and that everything they did could have been done faster and better and with less disruption by local people… you get less money.
Same as if you tell the creeps who are only there to sell their religion to please stop proselytising, you get less money.
These people are not there to do go or to help. They are there for their egos; to have their asses kissed and want around feeling like a saviour. They aren’t even thinking about the people they’re using as props for their own self-image. That’s what their donations are paying for – their feel good day out. If you stop offering the feel good day out, they stop donating.
Voluntourists are trash.
You're not compatible. He's not wanting this limit because he's jealous, he wants this standard because the woman he wants to be serious with wouldn't be entertaining men who have romantic interest in her (even if she doesn't reciprocate), and in addition that simply opens the door to a possible emotional affair. The idea is simple: you likely wouldn't approve of the opposite for the exact same reasons. So you likely aren't compatible and should end the relationship if you're not wanting something serious.
It's a day when men give back gifts as a show of appreciation for the ones they receive during Valentine
I have told him plenty of times that his reaction/response to questions I ask him is not my fault. As I don't control his reactions, only he does. He always says the same thing. That I say things or ask questions in a snobby way on purpose just to piss him off and ruin his mood. At this point I do not see him understanding/listening to me at all as I've told him this so many times. I could suggest couples counseling, but I doubt it is going to do anything. The other day, he woke up in an excessively good mood. He was being really sweet to me, rubbing my back, cuddling etc. He never does this. So I asked him why he was in such a good mood and he responded with “oh so Im not allowed to be in a good mood?”. Then it started another whole thing. He always tells me that I just need to stop asking those kinds of questions bc I only do it to piss him off. I disagree bc those aren't my intentions at all and I say that, then he tells me I have denial issues and I need to go to counseling. But last night after I called the cops, he made me out to be the bad guy and has tried to make me feel guilty about it since. That is why I asked if I should have even called them. Like am I the bad guy for calling them? Or is what I did in the right and does he need to take accountability for what he did?
she/her*
This is not weird or uncommon. If you are living together it would be appropriate to make a financial plan to get more economically stable to help with any future plans that you may have as a couple. It’s best if you find ways of cutting unnecessary expenses to save for things you may want to do together.
Hope the other guy can take on three kids and finances.
I'd be gone as soon as possible.
So you're telling me that this man has had the same phone for 8+ years?
So you're telling me that this man has had the same phone for 8+ years?
I was absolutly floored by both responses. This man is sexually assaulting his own fucking wife. Couldn't IMAGINE what this man has done or what he's capable of doing solely based on his comments.
Break up with him.
Block him. He sees you only as sexual object and challenge to conquer. He doesn't respect your boundaries he just wants to have sex with you and chances are that once he gets your nudes and has sex with you he will move on to another girls he will find at another frat party.
Why were you going off on him?
But the “group” is her family…
Why is he worth all this? If he is cheating, will proving it help you? If he isn’t cheating, does it matter? You’re still making yourself miserable.
this is a great point about the reasons for getting fired – the ex I mention in my comment was combative, obstructive, belligerent, and generally pretty lazy and took his supervisor's feedback as an attack – he was the workplace bully and had a serious persecution complex and the worst case of entitlement I have ever encountered. I applaud every manager who fired his ass, he deserved it 100%.
Sorry but if this the only reason why did you had the urge to go through her phone?
Honestly, there's not much here. You're jumping to the conclusion that he's cheating on you from some extremely vague messages.
Not trying to help OP. Was responding to another poster. There’s a lot posted on Reddit that is not helpful.
Sorry for splitting with the edits prior.
Now that you mention it, we spend a lot of time alone together or in a public setting but still just one-on-one. I may take some initiative and suggest some activities with some friends from either/or of ours.
It’s funny, he is in college and observed that most of these friends are probably temporary. We both like the ones that he feels are long-term/lifelong.
There’s nothing stopping him from going out with them. I actively encouraged it. I have few friends that after college have gone off to far away places, but I’m perfectly fine spending time by myself.
He feels bad that I’m not as integrated with this group, and I don’t understand why. Special events I’m always there and then a few others.
John, you are both 20 years old. You have a lot of life to online and people like your girl friend will suck the soul out of you.
You will ALWAYS be wrong in her eyes (as will everyone else).
Just move on for your own sanity.
Yea bro, gonna be real. The way you described everything its probably best you just move on. She cheated on you and because she's throwing herself a pity party you are not being naked on her? She's the one who cheated on you. Instead this is about her feelings not yours who got cheated on.
This sounds like a good way to never actually work on the issue and you're very likely to get cheated on again if you stay. She can't even tell you why she did it. Like the other person said hoes gonna hoe. She probably did it because she could. I mean you're here trying to work on things and neither of you have to actually work past it because she isn't telling you why.
I don't think you guys are going to go through the steps to get through this because like you said she can't even vocalize why she did it. So its just very likely to happen again. Especially if she's giving you derealization as an excuse.
What is it to get paid to have sex then? Everything you said just doesn’t address the arbitrary nature of your position.
At this point it’s just time to dismiss your claims outright and say “yes you should be honest with your partner if you care about them, or lie and potentially have it revealed to him in some other way because op acknowledges that the other party is vindictive”
Imo, People like you make the world a worse place to online in. Everyone holding secrets and feeling guilty to their grave. If he’s an asshole just tell him and break up with him, if not see if he accepts who you were and acknowledges your changes.
Time for new friends too, they don't sound very bright. Block, delete him and ignore his attemps at contact, if he shows up call police etc.
I'm prolly gonna get down voted but as someone who's been in your gf's position (swapped genders tho) and turned down the dance I would say it's inappropriate
Out of respect to my gf I refused to slow dance with the bridesmaid and she ended up dancing with someone else, no drama and no ruined wedding
If your partner did this anywhere else it would be inappropriate and I don't think the context of a wedding changes anything
Getting drunk and intimate with someone who isn't your partner is a red flag in my book
Honestly, I am surprised that you're still attracted to him after that. That would have given me instant ick. He doesn't want a partner he wants Mommy 2.0 that he can have sex with.
She's still married, never should have started with her.
He didn’t manipulate….I would contact him a week or two after break up because I missed him, we would eliminate a possible cause for the allergy, get back together and pray for the best.
It hurts now but you’ll be fine! When this gig is Over he’s gonna be her problem & probably tell her the same lies he told you. Best of luck
I'm going to guess that's probably one of the few, or only times you tried to use her phone.
In my opinion it doesn't look good.. just from the texts alone. But not letting you see the phone because of “embarrassing photos” when you're trying to just play a song is not good. Her thought process was probably, “What if the other guy texts me?”
Be careful mate. Best of luck.
You’re either extremely monogamous or you are not. Which is it? If you’re still sure you are, you should end it now. This will continue to come up.
I thought this but I don’t want to have a transactional relationship:(
Your cousin is a narcissistic, sociopathic bitch who is trying to get under your skin and succeeding. She knows you, she knows the way to get at your self doubt. And she knows that YOU are aware of her past as a side chick. So now she wants to make you angry and make you think that she was a side chick to your boyfriend, because on the surface it would seem plausible. You pissed her off, so she is trying to return the favor to you tenfold.
Don’t let her win please. Every minute you spend doubting your late boyfriend, who, as you yourself stated, did not like her, she wins. An affair between them makes no sense based on every logical point you have written in your comments.
She is a loser and a waste of space. Don’t let her take up any more space in your head. I strongly, strongly doubt there is anything to her conveniently timed accusations.
You loved your boyfriend. You wanted to spend your life with him. And now she, and all of her vindictive hoarseness, is trying to ruin that for you permanently. It is practically satanic. Don’t let her do that. For your sake, as well as for the memory of your boyfriend. Don’t let her win. Forget about her and her bogus claims.
Frankly I never ever thought about not bringing my partner anywhere. If I show up at dad's birthday I say “this is Sara, Sara let me introduce my family.” As I see it they have a duty to welcome who ever I bring home. They will be polite, they will be friendly. They will ask her about silly stuff like “Sara what do you do for work” and if it's a boring story they WILL ACT INTERESTED. No one tells me how to online my life and I don't tell them. My father is super religious. He inspired me to learn about Buddhism. He talks about how God expects people to behave. I listen politely and say “Buddhism strives to teach just that, how people can live! a better life by simple steps. Yet these steps can be hot on some. Love man and women for they are made in the image of God. I think about that dad. I don't always agree with others but I know you believe that God made them. All of us sitting together are images of God. That helps me love others even if I don't always agree with their choices “. Then I'd say “Sara can I get you some more tea? Mom can you show Sara your garden? Sara has a small garden at our house “
You don’t owe him anything but i will say this. You hace to learn to set boundaries, and follow through with consequences for people who break them before getting into another relationship. One starting step, would be to empower yourself and have the conversation with him. If he begins to try to convince you otherwise then follow up with “i don’t need any convincing, i am telling you out of courtesy, and if you continue to make false promises, i will have to distance myself and block you.” Then, follow through with that statement if he continues.
If you don’t learn to follow through, you may end up in the same situation. Both of you have issues with following through with your promises (or ultimatums) and you need to take the steps to change that in you.
I studied abroad and it was one of the best and most life changing experiences of my life. Do not change your study abroad plans for her. Do the full year, the year you wish to. This isn't the kind of thing you should give up for a partner.
Why do you need to know her in any way? The person you need to trust here is your boyfriend. The only reason why you need or want to know her is to find a reason why he should not be allowed to meet her.
It is simple:
You either trust your boyfriend fully and give him the same rights you are demanding for yourself, or you don't do it, set up this doublestandard and put a massive chip on your relationship.
There is no solution where you can just ban your boyfriend from doing things while you do whatever you want. There will always be consequences for these actions.
Could you read what you just wrote and honestly look at yourself in the mirror and say this is a good idea?
Reading is naked, LMAO
In New York City a modest place is about 700k if you want to be in a decent school zone
Just tell him no, he doesn't get to decide who you hang out with, the end.
You have a guy friend, you may make other guy friends, and you will have guy friends. He actually doesn't get a vote or to make a demand like that.
If he doesn't want to be with a girl who has male friends, he can go find a different girl.
That's such a backwards, sexist, and illogical way of thinking, and better to get rid of this dude now.
Then that is what you need to ask her for. If as you note further below that you see a difference between how she interacts with you and what she's sending out to European Guy – then ask to see what she's sending out. If it really doesn't matter to her, I don't see why she'd say no to you seeing it. If you do ask for this though – please make sure you tell her that you see the difference between the interactions- and that this is for your comfort.
Also- I'm so sorry to hear your GF went through something traumatic. That sucks to go through, and sicks to be a bystander to the results of that trauma and the like aftermath as well. Hope she finds some peace and resolution.
I think this is a no brainer that you've grossly overcomplicated. You go to your friends, she goes to hers.
No you are not. Also with home ownership is the deed you need to be on, not the mortgage.
Never ever be on a mortgage and not the deed.
There are zero circumstances under which I would pay towards a partner’s mortgage without being in the deed. Bills, groceries etc. sure. Mortgagee, upgrades etc. No fucking way.
Nah lol k is perfect lmao
Maybe time to start going to the gym or exercising in some way, seriously helps. Do things you enjoy doing, try new things whatever you want mate you're free a cheat
When you say no to something sexual, and your partner keeps insisting and trying to get you to change your mind, what is really happening is a kind of abuse. He is way out of line and you need to let him know that. If either one of you say no, then the answer is no.
Nooooo. Not Kosher. I am so sorry. Your concern is valid. You have to figure out what he means to her. Try to get her to level with you. It's not OK being that in touch with someone you could or have fallen for. It might be innocent? I don't think it is. Figure it out with her. And be prepared to make a move. As in enforce a consequence or get yourself some space if she's not willing to consider your concerns. All the best. Sorry.
I believe the deans are experiencing Stockholm syndrome and miss being on the line because they’ve been taught abuse = growth, and saying no = weakness. Also, his dean is a school teacher. He didn’t need to be hazed to become that.
I can tell I ate you up in this debate, because you’ve resorted to insults. Anyway, if I were to run a fraternity it’d be the best. Built on compassion, intelligence, and consist of REAL bonds (not TRAUMA bonds) made through relationship building activities(non violent ones exist and they’re quite effective according to research, did you know?) & let the natural course of life test those friendships, not simulated abuse. People would wanna join because they know the way to get in is being genuine and not pretending to be someone they’re not.
Tell him to grow up ?
Her ADHD have nothing to do with that she is just trying to have a pass from you to be able to have sex with another man! It’s just a excuse so I recommend you to leave that woman who doesn’t seems to understand the commit relationship. Don’t waste your time because she will do it like it or not,so leave her,heal and find yourself a better girlfriend !
Exactly! ??
Has he gained weight or has his appearance changed since you have been together?
My husband has probably gained around 6st, but he looks good for it imho. I don't love him any less because of the weight gain even though he's sensitive about it.
Your husband's comment is probably one of the most hurtful things one person can say to another, and tbh, it sounds like he wanted to cause you pain. I'm sorry. X