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Room for online sex video chat Chrystye
Model from: fr
Languages: fr
Birth Date: 1970-12-03
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
Subculture: subcultureRomantic
Date: October 19, 2022
Sounds like he wants to you greet him at the door like a 50s housewife, all made up and looking nice for him.
But you're doing it for you, mostly. I mean, it benefits her too, but you're mostly doing it for yourself, right?
Internal validation is WAY better than external. By doing these changes, you are directly benefitting yourself – that's GOOD. Be proud of that.
External validation is wanting her to notice, and that's going to be … complicated, in large part due to the pressure placed on women to lose weight, fall in line with patriarchial expectations, listen to diet culture, etc. It's probably as simple as “talking to you about your journey makes me feel like a lesser wife/partner/woman simply because I am not ready/willing/able to follow you on the journey at this time.”
You'd probably do your relationship a world of good by not looking to your wife for gold stars for doing something that primarily benefits you. She's not your mom, she's not your teacher, and learning to primarily validate yourself and your actions will go a long way to keeping your relationship as one between equals.
And sitting down with her and acknowledging all the pressure, shitty messaging, and random abuse that women get if they're not “young, thin, and cheerful”, and the effects of that on them, would help her feel seen and heard. Reassuring her that just because YOU have made these changes for YOUR health doesn't mean that you want or expect her to do the same will also help.
Good luck, OP – I hope that you and your wife BOTH feel seen, surpported, loved, and cherished by each other. In the end, that's what's important, after all.
I would have respected his boundaries had I known them. I didn’t think of him as the opposite sex in that sense. He’s just a platonic friend, it wasn’t cuddling it was comforting during a panic attack
She's not interested in you. Sorry.
In my country. If he got HIV she could get charged with murder for not telling him.
So you would be OK with it if you found out a sexual partner was HIV and didn't let you know?
This is exactly my take on the situation.
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You are not the morality police. This is absolutely none of your goddamn business.
This. She she’s her own person.
Some of these people are… weird…?
She’s not some property that he owns. My wife drives a beater now. I’d be thriiiiilled if one of her friends bought her a car
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“a guarantee of twice a week is agreeable to most women” – Are we talking about a human being or a fuck doll? Fucking gross, women don't owe you anything.
Nope. You were minor when you met so that’s an instant red flag.
Lol you want us to be okay with someone who had a flirty dynamic with a 16 year old when he was 22??
You probably need therapy to sort out your trauma.
The love of your life wouldn't have cheated on you and broken your heart. He is not the love of your life. What you're feeling is guilt and heartbreak combined because you didn't want to break up, and then he died and you didn't get the closure you wanted. It hurts and it's valid, but understand that even if he was still alive he would likely never be coming back to you. He CHEATED. You deserve better. Stop punishing yourself this way.
Yeah, and it's fine either way. Some people are more comfortable with that sort of thing than others. You just need to ensure your partner feels the same way in such regards tbh… because in the long run, even small stuff like this can build up because it won't be just one difference…unless you can compromise, but that'd also need to be seen how much. No one should be ashamed of their choices either way in this regard. Some see it as being controlling or something, which is nonsense. The whole idea of monogamy is controlling then. We just have different values, and we should find partners compatible with ours…a lesson I've learned the hard way.
you admit you're a jealous guy. that's what you need to work on. has your gf cheated on you ? has she done anything (other than the puking incident) to betray your trust ?
if not, i'd say you need to trust her. being nervous about alcohol after she threw up alone is one thing. being nervous about men when she has no history of cheating ? that's another entirely.
she's not answering because she's out having fun. she's allowed to do that, you know.
and i'm betting she didn't tell you about the pre-party because she was scared you'd flip your lid as you're doing right now. she shouldn't have withheld information — but you should give her more grace.
if you can't, break up with her.
Nothing wrong with wanting an open relationship.
There is a lot wrong with telling your partner that you're not satisfied with them, demanding an open relationship, getting on tinder before even talking about it and then belittling you for wanting to see it
He is a gold digger. Your post is a whole list of him trying to get you to pay the bills, skip presents, and judge you
You caught her cheating, no wonder this changed the relationship. This is why it is not recommended to sit with someone who cheated. The trust is gone, there will be constant suspicion, doubts, etc. It really isn’t fixable either. It is a pretty miserable way to exist.
why are you still putting up with him?
They haven't crossed that line yet
She waited until the convention was over. No still her timing wasn’t perfect. And if someone really needs space from a girlfriend and stay away for their birthday then there’s that. Also not everyone makes a national holiday out of a birthday and plan months in advance. It sounds like she learned of it after it was too late to get reasonable travel rates. Planning a birthday a month in advance, absent of knowledge of travel plans, is quite common.
It looks like you’re already on the outs. It’s good to see things like this early. In the future I’d suggest not moving in together so early in the game. It’s ok to take your time. Also for yourself you need to work on that snipping at people. That’s very offputting. It’s something I’ve had to work on. When I’m really into something and working on something I do not like to be bothered but you also have to take into account that you also decided to be in a relationship. And when you’re with a woman that actually wants to be around you she’s going to want to interact with you and you should want her to. There are more polite ways to say hey give me one sec.
To be honest I don’t care about the age, because that is the reason I decided to be with him, I cannot date people of my own age, so immature, they want kids and I already have one so I am not planning on having kids.
Every committed relationship inherently involves sacrifice because you make choices for the good of the relationship, not just for yourself. Sacrifice isn’t always bad. In fact I’d go so far as to say any marriage where neither person is ever willing to make any sacrifices for the other is probably not a strong one.
That was such a tough read for me. Thank you so much.
You're in a relationship. You are allowed to feel how you want to feel. That's all that matters.
My cousin described it exactly as “sexual assault “ when she told me. She describes it like that literally when she talks to others about it for how it affected her. I’m not going to tell her it is not. I don’t believe it’s my place.
Yeah, don't get raped in Texas. Like ever.
This friend is unlikely to come around and doesn’t sound like he’s worth the time and effort? Is he in a relationship?
I don’t want to be rude but I just think we are in different environments and you just don’t understand how the people around me behalf. Nothing is happening other than some guy being petty it doesn’t call for this type of aggression. Also, any lack of firm conviction in my end isn’t a substitute for you to insinuate I’m not taking action or I’m not going to HR.
If you’ve said what you needed then there’s nothing more to add thank you.
This is a really good take tbh, felt the same way. I'm guessing she got pregnant early on purpose to seal him in AND to make sure her parents forgave her (so they could see the grandkids) and that she wouldn't have to deal with them reminding her of what am irredeemable AH she is (using her kids as a pawn to keep her parents on her side)
He’s not a bad guy but this life path choice is in conflict with yours. I don’t see how this can work in the long term.
She's going to do it whether you want her to or not. And then she will blame you when she does do it.
This isn't worth your energy.
Run.
A great way to handle questions that feel open ended, or you're unsure of how to answer is to flip them around and ask back. It'll help you get clarity on what they're trying to ask, and why its important to them, possibly even making you feel more comfortable if they have to put themselves out there first. Examples:
Is therapy something that's important to you or has helped you in the past? I don't have much experience there. Its been a few years, since I haven't felt like I was in a situation that warranted a re-check. Is that important to you? What is your definition of love? Are you looking to be exclusive? Is that something you want from me this early? I feel like trust and vulnerability are built and earned through time.
Cool cool
Every thing you listed he did is very, very standard stuff for a partnership. Nothing you explained was above and beyond or all that impressive.
already the title is a red flag. does he think that u cooking extra & doing HIS chores is YOUR duty?? that is just sexist ngl. it seems like he has been too dependent on you & is also insecure & jealous. but then again, ive never dated anyone so what do i know. sounds like u deserve better tho ngl.
The fact that you refer to your wife as your “current” twice in this one Q tends to indicate that you're not 100% sold on this woman as being your true life partner. It's just more common than not to need a “wandering” stage in life and you skipped that by marrying your high school sweetheart. Whether you can will yourself to focus on the present or not is up to you. But there's a reason we're not supposed to marry the person we've been dating since childhood and you're now feeling that.
You know exactly why you contacted your ex.
Tell Your husband the truth. No doubt one day the truth Will come out and then your child’s life will be rocked.
Oh, and stop cheating.
While I agree she's not actively searching, calling and walking in to check on applications is no longer good advice.
Part of the reason he hasn’t changed is because he has no reason to. So far, you’ve shown him that despite his behavior, you’ll continue to stay by his side and not leave him. You’re essentially enabling him to keep being a lazy boyfriend.
You need to tell him that if things don’t change you’re leaving, and then actually follow through with that threat. It will either give him the kick in the ass to do better, or show you that he is not going to change and the relationship is not worth continuing.
It is possible if this is new that someone said something. Masculine and feminine for me is on a spectrum where equal parts are the strongest elements in someone.
Being strong is just another outward aspect, as is independance. The question is does he want you do be less independant then he has to be more independant. It isnt a one way request.
Compassion, affection and appreciation are in the middle of the spectrum and both are masculine and feminine. Mind being appreciated for your qualities is also nice to do for each other, so what does each person bring to the relationship?
I did a lot of EMDR and ART for quite a while to uncover and reprogram many of the repressed memories I was dealing with. Amazing programs.
Git off the tit. I have a low tolerance for anyone that is a huge cry baby. Rub some dirt and move on. You're young still. Break up. Don't comfort him. Is he the youngest in his family? He's giving major “baby boy” vibes. Ick.
I read on a different thread about a guy who was in a similar situation. He said he was gonna go out for something and ask her to get dinner and wine and see her reaction.
I just told her I'm going for a trim and told her to get dinner and a bottle of wine. Let's see how it goes.
So you lied to the vegan guy by telling him you had no intention of banging Vegas guy, when you had every intention of banging Vegas guy??
…..break up with her? I am pretty sure this has already occurred to you
LMFAOOOO she’s getting rawdogged by other guys bro. open your eyes.
If she makes $60k a year, she can afford her own place. On the other hand, if she is going through hell at home, why cant she move out? Why are you guys together if you cant let her move in with you where you are now? You dont want to help your girlfriend? Is your main goal marriage?
He doesn't sound like a good partner tbh
I think it was a case of staying with her friends, there were 4 of them in total. I was worried about her safety when I didn’t hear from her
That would make sense. Her job has been really stressful lately, they walk all over her and treat her very badly and we’ve been trying to find her a new job. There hasn’t been a whole lot of time for self care because life has been hitting us very hot lately (car problems, money problems, not having enough money to even feed ourselves a lot of the time) when she was on her mom’s insurance she was taking medication but when that ran out we couldn’t afford it anymore. The credit card is in her name.