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Date: October 19, 2022
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Lol, I was there with him the majority of that trip, I came home a day earlier because i had to go back to work myself. Why in the world would I think to have to ask for a simple phone call?
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Personally that should be an expectation cuz at least for me a partner isn't only a person i have sexual relationship with but also a friend and a person who will help me when I'm in a need whatever that may be. I don't get why is ok for men to have expectations for woman but not vice versa.
But to try and give you another advice specific for your situation. Would a 5min talk helped you? It doesn't have to be about a problem, simply hearing a person you love can sometimes help me. Instead of focusing on trying to solve a loneliness just have some laughs with him, like him telling you some jokes and that he misses you. Perhaps if you tell him to approach situation from that angle could help you.
And if he does try to help you in other way and you aren't happy until he does it in specific way then maybe yea you should take a moment and realize that everyone has a way of doing a thing and his may be that.
Maybe he doesn't want her to date boys? Gotta ask him if you really want to know, all reddit is going to do is tell you to divorce your husband.
Every marriage hits rough patches.
Not every marriage has cheating.
When two adults are married usually one doesn't just go cheat for no apparent reason
Get out if you aren't happy. There's never an excuse for cheating.
when you have sexual assault trauma and need clear lines and boundaries, it’s a little unfair to blur them like this tbh.
If you aren't going to help, why reply?
A couples counselor will only work if your wife is open to working on and fixing things together. From what you have said she's told you that you knew what you were getting when you married her and she doesn't need to change.
So do you think she will respond well to being told the truth about her behavior?
And also it's not advisable to go to therapy with an abuser. It just gives them more information to use against you. And no doubt your wife is abusive.
I'm sorry that you are constantly invalidated.
Talk to your therapist but I honestly don't see a way to save this. You need space, healing and to find out who you are without your wife beating you down.
Look up lovebombing. After your wife blew up she tried to get affectionate. The pattern seems to fit and it's a tactic of abusers.
I don’t think you have a girlfriend anymore. I’m honestly not sure you ever had one to begin with. If you stop calling and texting her, is she even gonna notice?
When she reaches for you, grab her hand, chuckle at her, kiss her, and say, “not right now, but definitely later!”
I need to unfollow this sub
Cherish every moment. Keep your perspective. Open and honest communication always. Don't put off solving problems because you're afraid of upsetting the relationship. If you really love her, you must know that you would do anything to ensure that she is happy and fulfilled in the relationship. If she really loves you, you must know that she would do the same.
I've been there. It's wonderful. Unfortunately it couldn't last for me. Wishing you both the very best. Thank you for giving me some hope for the future
there are other actual ways to help people that don’t include exploiting poor people for your own ego. i’d venture into that and in that way your boyfriend and you can get past this argument
How can I make it safe for him to be honest with me? I told him that I’d rather hear an honest answer than continue being lied to. I won’t get overly mad. Yes, it will make me upset (I feel like it would make anyone upset really) but I won’t freak out. I told him that he can either admit the truth and then we can see what to do next (either go to therapy and work on his addiction together ** if HE genuinely wants to stop **,) if he doesn’t want to stop or he isn’t capable to do so for whatever reason I told him it’s better to admit it now and just end things because it’s not going to work out that way. i told him I’m not going to tolerate lies – so if he’s lying to me now and not admitting it, and eventually there’s going to be similar episode and the truth will uncover somehow I’m not going to give him any more chances. I’m willing to forgive him now and see if he wants to fix the issue, but if he will do it either way behind my back it’s definitely not going to work
Ew you are fucking unhinged
Nah, date her. This friend probably won’t be in your life in future and you will be inevitably losing out on a potentially good partner. It’s been 4 years, he should be over it.
It is. Your supposed to be in a relationship with one person and you don’t know what action back up implies since she already has somebody lined up just go ahead and hit the eject button on that one.
Yes, giving up control of yourself is very dangerous . Nobody ever got hurt from having integrity . BE YOURSELF