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Date: October 23, 2022
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Long distance relationship.
This comment is fantastic and it's something I wish someone had told me back when I was in OPs position. My add would be that maybe if you don't explore why you feel like this then you could end up making the same mistake over and over, which is entirely possible if you don't figure out what it is you were seeking and didn't get etc.
between doctors. weight gain is mostly alcohol but not the best diet. I agree communication is the issue. Will work on that as a leading factor
What you want to believe and what really happened have nothing to do with each other.
Your wife cheated on you and she didn’t come clean on her own. She lied about it to your face. You can’t believe anything she says.
She’s given priority to these people and performs sex acts with them that she’d never perform with you. And she’s not having sex with you. That’s not what someone who loves and respects their partner does. Not to mention asking their partner to let them have sex with someone else and then not letting you know where they are.
She has destroyed your trust in her. If you really want to remain with her, she needs to do everything to restore your trust in her. She needs to disclose everything that they’ve done. Everything, holding nothing back.
She needs to answer your questions honestly, no matter how many times you ask or what you ask.
You both need to go to individual counseling and marriage counseling. The individual counseling for her to figure out why she cheated and how to make sure she doesn’t do it again. The individual counseling for you so you can come to grips with what she did. And the marriage counseling so you both can work out what needs to change.
Frankly I’d probably just get a lawyer and file divorce papers. You can always stop the process before the divorce is final if you reconcile but you need to send her a clear message that this isn’t acceptable and you respect yourself more than she does you. I’d never have agreed to her exploring her bi-sexuality while we are married. Having sex with anyone who isn’t you is cheating. Period. You were thinking with the wrong head if you ask me.
Have sex with hin and let him strangle you to death. You should feel much better afterwards.
You broke up with her. She's a free agent. You dont own her or him. No foul committed, despite your hurt feelings.
What I was trying say was deal with this next year. Let this year go. It’s over. In October/November or whenever, be clear on what you both want from each other
Don't continue this argument, friend. OP has decided that she is 100% in the right because of her neurodivergence that she refuses to do anything about, and we're all totally in the wrong because we're not psychic. This is a masterclass in circular logic and deflection.
if he’s not satisfied, he can leave. you deserve better.
There doesn't seem to be any harm in this…they are just enjoying each other company.
Bang him and get it over with
The fact that she was afraid BEFORE he met the sister is telling about how she is treated by (at the very least) the sister and possibly the family.
And right? How long as the little sister been getting away with really gross and shady behavior? Enough to make her older sister have a crippling fear of her significant other leaving her.
So what? So because a car breaks down again and again and again you won't say screw it I'm buying a new one or you'd rather say damn I hate cars and will be walking everywhere I want to go from now on. Mate you need to work on yourself and your attitude because it seems the problem isn't them but YOU.
Omg I found your husband and all of his posts are about wanting to be divorced and a woman that isn’t interested in him. Give him what he wants. He made it crystal clear he rather be alone. His concern is his kids. Joint custody solves that problem.
Oh, so she knows you tried to convince a teenager to run away with you when you were almost 40?
What if six months from now she's having these thoughts again?
What, like in a day she realized she didn't want that anymore?
What am I supposed to think?
She's already walked away so easily from such a long relationship once, and what if she does it again?
You have asked all these valid questions and the truth is no one can answer these questions now, even her as she herself isn't clear as to what she wants. What you had can never be achieved back as this situation will be left there as a scar. You need to just block her and move on. If she can throw away the relationship like it was nothing once, then she can do it again
At least a couple of them
That awkward moment when your wife has a terrible mother so you double down and tell her she's just like her mother – and by extension telling her that she would be a bas mother.. and you think she wants to discuss having kids with you?
We went to therapy and worked out the heavy stuff. Honestly things had been going pretty well with our relationship and therapy until his son moved back in. His son is so unmotivated and lies about everything, he’s never going to move out because he can’t afford rent and makes excuses/lies about everything else.
He’s grown now, we’re past the discipline stage. Kick him out and be done with it.
Did you try moving the conversation to what she is doing?
I wouldn’t contact her to refuse her. She’s already shown how she will react when OP doesn’t do what she wants/expects. Just let her assume that the email is old and not used anymore.
yeah usual
Streak with the ex…. I wouldn’t worry too much, especially if they ended on good terms. Just such a long investment in time it’s difficult to let go.
This irritates me so much. Humans are humans and none of us are special with special abilities.
“If you don't trust me, then you're the problem”
“I am perfectly able to have a platonic relationship with an ex, because I am an adult”
“You are insecure if you cannot handle this normal adult thing”
That's what I get from this and you know what? It's what cheaters (or eventual cheaters) say. And then they use THAT as a justification. “He caused this, didn't trust me enough”.
This false soapbox people get up on and shout from, you're not special, you're not advanced or better than anyone else. You have the same feelings, desires and otherwise just like everyone else and you are not more mature either.
You do not have a daily conversation with an ex if you love and respect your partner. And I guaranty you if the shoe was on the other foot she would be not happy with it and YOU would also say something was shady.
You know what happens when someone holds on to their ex and vice versa? Or has an ex in their DM's who's “just a friend”? The second there is any friction in the relationship they lean on each other, and things happen. In fact if one of them still pines for the other in any way, in any capacity, they will continually sabotage the relationship.
When she texts ex about a problem (which if you are texting every day definitely happens). the ex is not like “oh, give him another chance” or “I am sure that's not what he means”, instead it's “Yeah, he's an asshole” and “you deserve much better” and “you are 100% right” and that leads to “my ex understands me!” and then dick sucking happens in parking lot and the guy getting cheated on is blamed 100%.
They have a thing for each other, adults do not work like this, it's a fairy tale of people who pretend they are “being adults about it” then cheat on their partners.
People who do this have no respect for others all they care about is themselves.
Tell her
Someone who loves you wouldn't do this. He doesn't really love you. He won't change. He doesn't even feel bad. He's off fucking his ex again. Please wake up and leave. He's the one destroying your self confidence. If you leave, it'll get better
I understand this, however, I meant that instead of providing healthy habits as a kid, it was a lot of processed foods and negativity. Why would you yell at a kid with their friends about how you’re eating too much frozen yogurt? Especially as a young girl. Why not privately teach kids about balance and occasional treats instead of restriction and punishment when eating “bad foods”? I am asking that now that I am an adult and have a better balance of what I think is healthy for me, how can I stop this negative comments and unsolicited advice? I know I will eventually move out, but I wish I could have support and her asking me if I need help instead of saying my only solution in life is lose weight ?
Tell him. Express your anger against this ex friend. Ask him his support to avoid something like this happening again. Plan together how to react if ever the ex friend contact one of you.