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Ginger, 31 y.o.
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Date: October 24, 2022
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There are other cases yes. I've posted a really long comment about it if you've not seen it. There's so many possibilities for this situation and his behaviour xx
Wait, are you actually saying you know guys better than guys themself? Just as women can read other women’s intentions better than guys do, same applies for the other way around.
That guy, trying so very hot to rescheduling a date with a girl on relationship is out of the line and she shouldn’t be okay with that either.
Don't take this personally. His ex just like every other mistake he has probably made has played a big part in his life. He needs the cry.
Just because he loved his ex wife doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't love you , so don't think that “oh he was still in love with her means he never loved me?” angle .
Wait people aren't siding with keeping the dog?
The fuck? Puppers > humans.
I'd 100% be like “take an antihistamine or see ya”
This is what I call a casual relationship. You're in love, having fun etc, but there's qn eventual end date due to different life goals
that’s a very logical solution. should we still talk about it with her or should i accept it as an error on my part?
that’s what i was thinking! seems weird to me that he’s SO against seeing her. last time it happened he was like “i was gonna mention just going in anyways but didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable” but idk… like you broke up years ago why do you hate her so much lol
Saw in a comment that you said you make $120k and he only makes $20k and your upset because he didn’t spend slot of money on you ?? Get real the man is barely making anything especially in this economy . It should be the thought that counts not the $$ Christmas should not be all about gifts .
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Seems like her biggest issue is that he jokes and fools around too much.
A potential approach is to not entirely corner him but rather tell him, “listen I know you say these types of “jokes” to lighten the mood or express yourself and I know you don’t come from a malicious place. But I just want you to know that I feel embarrassed when these types of things are said around the family, Juliet doesn’t know you like how I do so when you say these types of jokes they’re not received well, I want them to see you as the good man you are that I love, not these misconceptions they’re starting to get from these jokes, just promise me you’ll cool it down from here with these jokes and keep this cordial with them, I’d really appreciate it.”
Obviously not say this word for word but you get the jist.
My point is there are ALOT of things that can be said and done to get past this issue. Not just jump straight into divorce over a literal stupid joke.
These people give us one tiny bit of a glimpse into their marriage and people assume the worst about the other and say divorce. That’s not helpful.
The only time a straight “divorce” response is 100% appropriate is when people come on here talking about how much physical or emotional abuse/manipulation their partner gives them. Or is stealing from them or has a constant track record of lying/being manipulative.
Not a dumb tone deaf joke
OP I am a recovering alcoholic and would drink more in an evening than most people would in a month. You know what I never did? Got drunk and drunk texted and cheated on my wife. All your fiancé is doing is shifting the blame from himself to the alcohol. That is not the way it works. Alcohol and coke do not make you do anything you don’t want to do. I hope for your sake you ditch your POS cheating fiancé as you deserve so much better.
See a therapist. You are wrecking sex and this is going to eventually cost you this relationship. Your partner accepts your face and wants to date you regardless. They have no problem with your face. If he wanted to just look at random body parts, he would watch porn. Your face and the intimate bond between you is key to a healthy sexual relationship. You will never have a normal relationship until you get over your insecurities.
That's quite the leap. She sounds like she's been in on-line gaming communities from a young age. The way she talks sounds exactly like the way people have in every gaming community I've participated in since the days of S.O.C.O.M. 2.
Hun, she's not hungry because she's incapable of buying food. She's not broke. She's using you for money because she can, not because she has to. I know it's hot, but if you continue to let her play on your emotions, you will spend your life being used. Saying no is not incompatible with being compassionate. Sometimes being compassionate even requires saying no. You need to become intimately familiar and comfortable with that word.
It sounds like this isn’t a random event, but an event that’s part of something bigger. I’m guessing since you’re twenty fucking four and have a job yet don’t pay your bills or drive, your dad is annoyed. Stop leeching and move out.
Couldn’t you just play it as you’re a close friend of hers and are sending out some personal items and her meds that will make her hospital stay less stressful?
Yeah im at 27 now and I laugh at 19/20yo me thinking that 28yos liked me because I was mature and me realising now that they were either super immature or not actually interested
Whew. I had to take a deep breath a couple of times just to get through your post and I’m no stranger to child abuse or families protecting predators.
First of all, I’m glad he went to jail and sorry you’re realizing your wife and her family are toxic and putting a predator (and their emotional needs) first above the safety and welfare of children and sane adults.
OP, at a minimum you should be able to rely on your wife to always put the safety of children above her own weird, deluded attachment to this man. You are correct that this means** not enabling him with gifts and excuses and deep, gullible family pockets that come to him with no strings attached.**
You should also be able to rely on your wife to put your well-being above her and her family’s attachment to this convicted sex offender. She needs to back you up in this. You need to know she won’t do things behind your back.
Your story demonstrates that you’ve been clear in your communication throughout and she is avoiding and downplaying her enabling just as often as you fight with it. You want to know this man is not being enabled, not a risk to children, that your wife isn’t risking your careers and well-being on behalf of him.
She needs to get with the program.
If I were you, I would probably jet, but if not, push couples therapy hard. An individual therapist for you at a minimum.
Your wife is clinging to a sick family outlook, and it’s sick in more ways than one.
You do not want to navigate this alone, and your wife may need a professional to put things into perspective for her that she’s enabling a sexual predator and a sick family dynamic and hurting you in the process.
This makes it necessary protect yourself in a way you shouldn’t have to from your wife and her family. You deserve a support system while dealing with this process, and it needs limits. You can’t and shouldn’t on-line your life on the defensive about this man.
Part of a partnership is having healthy enough boundaries that you don’t let abusers into your home through the side door. That includes other relatives. Your wife doesn’t have good judgement or boundaries about her family. She should be repulsed by their stance toward this child predator, not falling in lock-step.
If you try to stick it out, you need to redouble your own boundaries and she need to accept how far out of line she’s continuously been. Professional feedback seems necessary for her.
But he was drunk. People say and do all types of things under the influence that they don't realize. Can I ask what the rush is?
Buddy…. don't fall for that. Don't be that gullible. If she was really being threatened by this guy for years and he's spread her nudes in the past why hasn't she gone to the police? Or gotten a restraining order? Or a cease and desist? Or done anything to stop the threatening? In most places that is extremely illegal. So why has she done nothing to stop it?
Also idk about you but I generally don't text the guy who's blackmailing me “I miss you” the send him a hot. She's cheating on you and don't believe for a second she's telling you the truth as to why.
Why would you consider asking someone out who's in a relationship again… And adding to that, your own boss?
Is he the only child? In some cultures its perfectly normal to even on-line at home with parents till marriage or even after.. But sounds like you guys have different plans. And Dj can make good money if he's good enough and takes the right jobs, but its a double edge sword, he could go months with out someone hiring him for an event. (One of my aunties exs was a dj, but he also was part of an event company, so when ever they were hired to cater/host an event he was the main dude to dj)
The girl is his best friend We know each other but we don't talk
So many people here identify with your boyfriend but I’m deeply offended on your behalf. My spouse and I have a low drama relationship but we would never call it boring. We both grew up in homes with screaming parents and wanted the opposite. It took a lot of work but we learned to communicate our needs with each other without drama. We don’t see each other as boring, though. We use the word peaceful and empathetic. These are some of the best qualities about our marriage.
Are YOU content with someone who sees you this way? Do you trust that he won’t stray to find that excitement? As much of a shock this revelation is to you, you have a glimpse into his unspoken feelings towards you. Forget what he wants for a moment and think of what you want. A year is not very long in the scheme of things. You deserve someone who cherishes your qualities and loves you for them, not despite them. If he’s worth your devotion, he should be able to explain to you what he means in a way that you feel adored, not that he’s settling for you. Maybe he has some growing up to do before he can appreciate you, but you should decide if he deserves your kindness and devotion. You have the qualities that people in long term relationships value.
So now you know he’s not ever going to be a good gift giver.
Time to change your expectations or your BF.
If you eventually married, expect to be equally dissatisfied. Can you online with it?
I was SA’d by my step dad, my husband knows this so when my daughter who I share with someone else is in the house, he makes a point to cover up like your gf is requesting. I never had to ask. Maybe your gf is uncomfortable for a good reason that has nothing to do with you.
So sad.
Cool story bro. B+
She fell in love with you the way you were but now wants you to change? Have you considered the possibility she is using your faults as a reason to cheat? (You did not change therefore is slept with this other guy).
She may not know why she is attracted to another guy but the fact is she should be only attracted to you. If not there is more going on and it will only get worse.
Break up.
Give her a chance to follow her dream.
But give yourself a chance to find someone who loves you.
Let her go, dude. SHe isn't yours and she's not worth keeping either.
She said she didn't want the responsibility and he's a man. How can he relate to what a woman goes through during pregnancy and birth? He was taking S at her word.
Condos have fees. Ask her how much they are and tell her that you will split the fees, condo insurance and all other utilities with her.
At this rate, I think you might be the brother/husband or OP's other Reddit account
Yeah I was having a roller coaster of emotions when I thought of the showing up idea and feel like it would just push her away more. I'm gonna keep my distance for a while and focus on myself.
I once dated a guy that had been your husband in this situation. He said that his sister felt that her friend was never really her friend. And that she used their friendship to get to her brother. So that's a perspective.
Whatever her issue is she said she wasn't ok with it and you did it anyway. Why are you upset that she's upset after she told you she told you she would be upset.