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Room for on-line sex video chat DilaraGrace
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Languages: en
Birth Date: 2003-11-10
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorGreen
Subculture: subcultureStudent
Date: October 25, 2022
Ask yourself this: would you ever say what he said if the roles were reversed? Yes: seek couple's counseling. No: drop the amount of weight your husband is because he is for sure dead weight and pulling you down at your lowest.
He should be your support and propping you up and more concerned with the physical/mental health implications you are experiencing rather than physical attractiveness.
TLDR: IMO as Adele famously said “divorce babe, divorce.”
So he’s explosive, is mean to you, doesn’t show you he cares in any way, and leaves all planning to you. Sounds like you’re the mom of sullen teenager, not a partner.
I think when you are at ultimatum time, you’re actually at time to cut your losses time. You have communicated this over and over with no movement. Threats won’t do anything at this point if he hasn’t cared to try up until now. You might see a change for a week or two to appease, but you’ll be right back where you started.
Your boyfriend is emotionally abusive It sounds like he’s planning to cheat on you and trying to get your approval to do it. I would run as far away from this guy as possible.
You already know this is t going to work
I'm commenting because your marriage seems to have very similar dynamic as mine, but I'm the husband. My wife is also emotional and undisciplined (? sorry, english as second language), while I'm the opposite. The other issues are also oddly similar.
Your husband surely has serious problems, especially when he ignore the child. But I think you do have issues as well. I'll try to break it down:
While our son was at his baseball game I ran home to grab jackets and my husband was sitting on the couch on his phone…
You seem to have zero consideration about how to enter a “serious discussion”. You don't just poke someone who previously had an argument and demand a serious discussion “now” at your convenience. That's evident with your other attempts as well. Better way is to schedule a time, so the other party can prepare.
My issue is how much control he wants despite all of this
You want control and totally disregard your husband's eligibility to give input on your child. You automatically assume that if you do housework and childcare, you should have all say in related matter. From your description, that's never agreed or negotiated.
The current situation resulted in us getting into a fight over our son.
Important information here is who started the fight? Do you find your self to be the one starting? If that is correct, do think you started the fight because of him pushing you over the edge?
I ended up yelling, close to having a panic attack, and told my husband how mad I was at him. He calmly looked at me and said I should go for a walk. I responded with “seriously?”
Seems like you have problem with regulating your emotions.
In your husband mind, you're emotional and unreasonable. He does not want to “trigger” you anymore. In your mind, you think you are ready to solve the problem and he's not cooperating.
I have similar problem as your husband, I do shutdown quite often after arguments. However, I don't have such severe shutdowns as your husband and I'm of assertive type so I usually explain to my wife why I shut down after her yelling, crying, and panic attacks.
but I do know our son tried to talk to him this morning and my husband didn’t say a single word to him.
This is perhaps an incriminating event. I don't know for sure what actually happened in your husband's head. I can tell you my experience. I eventually got quite deep into depression (diagnosed by psychiatrist) after all those arguments with my wife. I detach myself from my family and my support system, a total shutdown. I don't have kid (luckily), but I stopped picking up phone calls from anyone who cares for me, lost a few friends. I also avoid my wife because I'm afraid of more “pains”, in a way I see her as an emotional abuser without knowing. That period last almost half a year.
As for my wife, she thought that she's emotional because she cares, and I don't give a shit and just want to punish her. It took my wife years to admit that she has issues with regulating emotions, and also to admit that she's part of the problem.
I did not coerce her into thinking that with my shutdowns, but our relationship got so bad that my wife brought up divorce, I agreed immediately and even insisted. She soon changed her mind and ask what she could do. I told her to see a psychotherapist to identify her own problems, or else we would divorce then. With therapy and better understanding, our relationship has been slowly getting better.
Please note that there's a difference between seeking therapy to complain about your husband vs. seeking therapy to identify your own behavioral problem.
I would not be surprised if you bring up divorce now, your husband would not resist. Your marriage sounds like torture to both of you.