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Room for online sex video chat adarsonsonia
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Birth Date: 1981-12-28
Body Type: bodyTypeAthletic
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Date: October 13, 2022
She’s got her AP. He can probably do something for her right?
Opposites attract so it makes sense. Your friend is interested and willing to try new things with him so help her out
I'm really bad at answering texts. I don't like typing on phone, I need to have time for it (it takes much longer than 15 seconds) and honestly, it almost seems like I have a different perception of time than most people. People close to me know to call if it's important
But I would still never, ever leave someone waiting on read if they are talking about something that requires them to be vulnerable with me. She expressed something very important to her and you ignored it for 1,5 days. That whole time she was left hanging, waiting for you to reassure her. That is something you answer right away and apologize and explain if it takes any longer.
True
You’re so dumb for letting her do that wow
That sounds terrible. I'm sorry you're going through this…
I feel like this is not something one should make jokes about. You should tell him how his treatment makes you feel. He doesn't get to use you like you're his sex doll.
You’ve been together over 6 years? Has she always done this ?
Antibiotic resistant bacterium are a whole other animal, man. I wish people would finish their course of treatment! And that doctors didn't write scripts for antibiotics for non-bacterial infections.
He’s 14 years your senior, and controlling, and doesn’t want you to have time with your friends without him.
Not worth it, you can be more than happy with someone else that doesn’t have excuses for his terrible behavior. Also, chances are he will do it again, my ex did and I was dumb. Go live your life with someone who would rather die than hurt you.
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To a monogamous person the words “open our relationship” normally destroy that “solid foundation” almost immediately.
He did it to keep you happy cause he loved you. Don't go trying to get him to change stuff while you do nothing just cause you don't like the consequences of your own choices. You two don't sound compatible as you think.
Try dating someone who wasn't legally a child when you started. It will help.
You’d really have to be hypervigilant to avoid transmitting it to a small child.
That’s what I was thinking, but like idk how to say it in a non common way, like “hey I’m here if you need to talk” sounds too superficial, have any ideas?
So you never actually told him you need more foreplay. That is entirely on you. You lied and then surprised him by going straight to, “let's use a vibrator bc you don't do it for me.” But you never told him what you need. If I was him, I'd be pissed off at you.
Aww, you sound thoughtful, sweet, and… very anxious. It's naked to know how much of this is your anxiety versus a deep incompatibility or one begetting the other. Only you can answer that. Try observing your feelings and approaching them with curiosity. Be like a scientist and see how certain situations make you feel and try to name how you feel. There's probably something a little deeper that this is about. Maybe you've never settled into this relationship and you've always felt like you're chasing her?
As a woman who cries easily at movies and sad ads and all of that, I also cry easily when being shouted at, humiliated and insulted, especially when it comes from someone who is supposed to support and love me. I don’t do it to “manipulate.” it’s almost an automatic response. You already know she feels deeply and cries easily. You calling her a manipulator for lying is projection. YOU’RE the manipulator. You acted like a bully and called her a manipulator for a response that is pretty in character for her and her natural weepiness. I seriously got so upset for her while reading this. Btw I call you a manipulator because you KNOW she cries easily, and you were being cruel to her, and you called her that to shut her up so you didn’t have to deal with the consequences of being a bully. She’s distant from you because you’ve shown her you are not to be trusted.
Just end it, no reasoning just say you know and don’t contact me
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Another set of nipples ?
My bad I read jake as your husband. Yea, this ain't your business if they didn't come to you guys for advice or anything. They're throwing a party so clearly they're figuring it out on their own.
Should my husband talk to Jake and let him know that we know?
It may make things better for everyone it may make things worse for Jake. At the end of the day its a choice you have to make.
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Send me whatever info you do have and I’ll find her cousin’s boyfriend’s neighbor lmao
It’s too late. Especially with his reaction I doubt you can fix it because he is going to hold that over your head no matter what now.
Exactly . Never in my life and I’ve been shit drunk and I can get angry and scream and slam doors but I’ve never ever ever put my hands around someone’s neck and would never even cross my mind in an argument . Ever
You're right. He really doesn't deserve this
I totally agree with you. I’ll do just that. Thank you.
All these people he “helps” and is lovely and kind to, are any of them women? Or feminine issues?
Because if hes anti abortion and republican then usually there is a strong misogynist/patriarchal power dynamic. That would be the red flag for me. Does he respect women?
Theres not enough information here about all the great things he does to help people, but im wondering what it is he really does.
OP, your boyfriend isn't who you think he is.
Start paying attention to his actions instead of his words.
He says he loves you, but then he shows you that he literally doesn't care if you die and would rather you be scared and alone in the hospital than change his plans.
Ask yourself, “If this had happened to him, how would I have acted?” “If he cared for me the way he claimed to, what would he have done?”
LD relationships are REALLY dangerous, because you have no idea who you are dealing with but it's super easy to feel like you do. He acted like a caring and considerate partner until you moved to him (isolating yourself from your support system) and now he treats you WORSE than most people treat their pets.
He intentionally CHOSE a partner who was inexperienced because most women his age would recognize these HUGE red flags and leave him instead of believing his words and manipulations.
Most women his age KNOW that early in the relationship everyone is on their best behavior and if a guy is this indifferent to your needs this early on, he will ONLY get worse the longer you stay.
This isn't your fault, this is an older man intent on manipulating an inexperienced young woman into accepting a relationship where he doesn't have to bother pretending she's his equal, or that her needs and feelings are as important as his own.
I'm sure when he decides to pretend he cares he is wonderful and everything you could ask for, which just proves he KNOWS how you want to be treated and is capable of doing so. By leaving you to fend for yourself when you needed help, he has proven he doesn't care what happens to you.
Please, please go home and cut all contact. Make room in your life for someone who treats you like the irreplaceable person you are. When you break up he will try to lie and manipulate you into staying with excuses for his poor behavior/explanations for why it was really your fault and then promises to change.
This man is a liar, liars make the best promises. Don't believe him, years from now you will look back on this moment and think about how your decision to stay or go determined the trajectory of your future.
You'll either look back with pride at having the strength to leave a relationship where you weren't loved or valued, at breaking free from his manipulation and saving yourself from a lifetime of pain and degradation or you will look back and wish with every fiber of your being you could go back and make a different choice before he crushed your spirit and turned you into a shell of the person you were before he snuffed out your sparkle and joy.
You deserve SO much better. You can't trust him, you can't count on him. When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time. Stop convincing yourself he is who he pretended to be when you were LD. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Her reaction was panic, sadness and depression—at the thought of raising a child with you.
I suspect your behavior is far worse than getting upset at computer trouble. Come on, she aborted a wanted child because it was with >you
Sounds like he thinks that you cheated
I can’t believe what I just read. I am not one of those immediately jump to break up with the person but no you not overreacting, you are quite frankly under reacting. That is some next level idgaf about you treatment. You deserve better.
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Lol if this is the case, he is really overthinking things haha
So expecting people to honor their contracts is being an “asshole”? Ok child.
This can be normal, it's naked with language barriers and humour is tricky when translated. I am bilingual, like your gf. One thing I found helpful is trying to do snippets of learning the language with your gf and her friends, it can be a hilarious time, and caution, search up what people teach you before using in a setting like the store or with co workers. This shows interest and willingness to engage, it also makes learning a language less tedious.
Literally anything. Maybe he felt gassy and was afraid of farting. Maybe he remembered he ate something weird earlier and was worried about how his cum would taste. Maybe he realized he was sweaty and was worried about smell. Maybe he just changed his mind. It’s perfectly fine for him to not want your face down there at any time.
Girl if this isn’t a sign. He sounds abusive and you deserve so much better. He isn’t interested in helping himself so he will never change.
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First impression reading this, you’re a bit uptight and kind really like knowing your next step. You to some degree have to ease up on that, but, you shouldn’t have to change integral parts of yourself. Neither should he. I think your justification of seeing your friends get married etc is, well I get it, but that should be no metric for marriage. I feel like y’all should actually be fighting more. Fighting to hash out problems that you discussed here, personally, I’d stay with my partner despite these problems but I’d work them towards bettering themselves and helping them sort out their problems. However him losing his job and not looking for another is what stands out to me the most. I would confront him on this and light a fire under his ass, not an ultimatum, but hint at it, or make it a silent ultimatum to yourself. But I’d try and work it out, it’s not like he cheated or did something awful. But if you want something else then by all means break up with him and save everyone the time
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You are trying to control him with your boundaries. If the rules that you writes applies to you is his boundaries he is trying to control your life.
This sounds like a very unhealthy way of using boundaries. First of all they aren't really boundaries in the true sense because then you would have left him when he broke them.
Secondly boundaries is a one-sided rule for your relationship, it should only be used rarely about things that are extremly important to you because it's inherently opressive to enforce strict rules. It's also likely to create resentment and opposition if it's about something that's important to your partner.
I wouldn't date someone that smokes myself because it's disgusting. But once you begin dating a smoker you can't expect them to change because you have boundaries. If it's your boundary you shouldn't date them.
What you should strive for is agreements where you both listen to each others concerns and find a solution together. You will find better and more lasting solutions that way and you will have a more loving relationship.
Wow. Your daughter is an entitled one. Please don’t let her guilt you into it. It wasn’t easier back when our kids were little. We did what we did. It’s time for you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to basically raise your grandkids.
I was planning to talk to them ! It’s just the comment made me realize that sending a long ass message while they were sleeping to make them worry when they wake up isn’t the good approach , also message can be read in so many ways and don’t get my intention right.
I agree that you can’t give consent when you are drunk of course , but isn’t being that drunk while you are in a couple a mistake ? I mean I get getting drunk but to the point of blacking out
If I build my setup far away from her, then the sound is no longer an issue, but the physical distance between us is.
She needs to pick one. Either you're physically close and she can hear you, or you're not and she can't. You're allowed to have hobbies, she doesn't get to decide that you must be quietly in the same room as her at all times.
Dude. The younger son is 15. The older son is older than 15 and over 5 feet. I think it’s been long enough for the melanin in his eyes to build up if it’s there…
I’m so sorry that you are hurting. Please understand that they are the losers in this situation. She is now with a man that was in a committed relationship and will never fully trust him since she’s knows he has no morals.
For sure. We can’t know if we will freak out over stretch marks or hospitalisations etc. but he does. He knows it’s affecting him now but it’s still “acceptable”. He also knows she has a severe mental illness regarding food and her body. These two are obviously incompatible. He has control over whether he asks someone to marry him that he ALREADY wants to change.
One week isn’t enough time to change years of progressively worsening behavior. You both have had 4-5 years of allowing him to get worse and not set boundaries which you adhere. One week is a drop in the bucket of time needed. All I can say, again, is get an outside therapist (not your husband) for him and for you as a family.
Also if mom is involved make sure you are all on the same page about his behavior. For some reason, I don’t believe he acts this way with mom. I could be wrong, but doubtful.
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You listed scenarios where person really couldn’t affect the appearance change, that’s very different. I wouldn’t leave my partner for that.
In this case this is young woman who gained 60lbs in 2.5 years and didn’t make any effort to do something about that. I think it’s important in relationship both parents invest to their looks to keep attraction going.
Sounds good. In addition to this, I would write down how you feel, as if you're writing to him, but not a tially send it. Could also be by hand and then rip it up and throw it in the bin. Sometimes it's nice to get it out regardless.
We're there comments about her wanting money?
There’s something else you need to consider. Don’t fall for the sink cost fallacy, which is what your girlfriend is arguing with her “don’t throw away all the good things we have.” Google it.
To explain it, consider you have a container of milk in your refrigerator. You’ve had it long enough that it’s gone bad. You’ve had a few good glasses of milk but what’s left will make you sick if you drink it.
Are you going to Lee that container because you had a few good drinks from that container? No! Of course not! It’s bad and you throw it out without any emotion or regret.
Your relationship is the container of milk. It’s not good anymore. You can’t trust your girlfriend will never cheat again or that she will never lie. It’s time to throw away the container.
How is your sex life together?
Just say it’s for you so if it doesn’t work for him you don’t have to lie and come up with an excuse as to why he should keep it on.
Do not stay man, u need to move on from here and when u do in ur next relationship or marriage if this god forbid happens again leave after the first time. Do not stay with an unloyal women
I am sorry to say this, but I don't think you're able to have a romantic relationship right now. While I don't agree with how your fiancee handled this, she has every right to object to being dragged into your sister's crises where she will likely end up as another caretaker.
Sometimes relationships have to end even when neither partner did anything wrong.
I strongly suggest learning about codependency. This situation with your sister is not healthy, and you should not be held responsible for her well-being. I'm not saying you shouldn't help her or that she shouldn't receive the help she needs, but you are on the fast track to burnout and losing yourself in order to hold her up. I mean, you're already losing your fiancee.
Update: I asked him about it again if he has anything to say. He responded “I’ve never even seen those type of condoms before , it’s probably from when I bought the car “. He bought the car in February 2022. It was used but he takes the car to get detailed often. The car is his “baby “ so there’s no way he doesn’t know. He insisted “believe me it not. It ain’t mine” when it was literally beside his glasses and a bunch of other personal stuff.
Yeahhhhh trust your gut I know you don't owe it to him but if you break it off I guess educate him? But I mean again you don't owe it to him
Oh I like that !
Propose this instead. What ever you both have before the marriage is seperate and yours if you walk away. Whatever is earned during the marriage is joint and to be shared equally.
How is there no other compromise? Can't the prenup be amended to reflect the value of your contribution to the relationship in a monetary sense?
Your concern is just as valid as his and you both want to ensure that whether you're married or not that you have reasonable assets to live and thrive.
It might be a shitty process trying to figure out what you should be entitled to if you were to divorce but no way in hell would I accept a situation where I am completely financially reliant on someone else despite supposedly being an equal part of the relationship.
If he respects you in any capacity he will find a compromise with you.
And if she's not comfortable having sex or doesn't feel safe, there is no reason to stay in the relationship at that point. For the right guy you would want to be oversexual. I feel like this had a lot to do with his personality, rather than his actions. It sounds like he's being inconsiderate.
If you don't dump this man I will jump out of a window because what the actual hell is this?
Have some self respect. You and I both know you deserve better. Dump him and find it.
Pack your things and run away your partner screams abuser and you don’t hear it. If you marry this man with these conditions you’ll set yourself on the road to mental health issues and self loss
Yeah, that won’t work for you. If he wants a prenup, then you work if he’s willing to cut you in on what he has you can be a housewife. Imagine this 10 years from now to little children he’s having an affair. You have no money and no place to go and no way to take care of your children. If he’s wealthy, he can afford to take care of you and if you can’t you can get a job.
At least one of his ex partners lied to him ?
Statistically, the vast majority of women don’t finish from penetration alone. Your BF needs to up his game in other areas, and quit blaming you for how he feels about what he thinks you’re body is supposed to be doing. There’s other things he can do (toys, oral, etc) to help you finish, but if he’s not willing to try it, let him go. Your needs are just as valid as his.
Honey, this is not something where you aren't enough or doing things wrong. It's something where the boy you're with isn't mature enough. And to be honest, at your age, that's ok. I know you might think differently, but very few high school relationships last into adulthood. There's so much growth still to accomplish, and at that age, males are still on average less developed than females. Even aside from your issue, it is very common for people to develop into different directions.
The best thing here really is to break up, even if he should back down on his wish when you do. You'll never be able to forget that he wanted something else. And you deserve someone who is with you because he wants to be, not with someone who is scared of being without a familiar person in a new setting.
OMG OP of all the men why do you have to fall for a married man?. You are already 39 you should be able to think how dodgy this sounds. Why oh why do you knowingly insert yourself into this problematic relationship??. You dont have any sense of self preservation at all?. Any other normal woman will stay clear away from this guy but not you. Is he really good in bed?. Is he really good at sweet talking you??.
Somehow it may need a stranger to say all these things which hopefully will open up your eyes.
That’s so scary of a thought, but very honest and true. I’ll definitely tell him that, and see how he responds. Thank you x
So there’s three you EXPECT. Which it’s fine that you want those things. But if just expect it and don’t ask, then you being hurt is on you, not him. So did you ask fo4rthose things?
You met LIVE a few WEEKS ago you don’t know shit about him
I'm wondering …they got married when she was 20 and he was 30 so when did they start dating? OP I think you married to early before you also got to experience life and enjoy, I imagine you came from a struggling background, got married and had children. You did not give yourself a break to just enjoy life and figure yourself out after uni, while I'm sure your husband had plenty of time in uni and after to do that
This is an extremely normal age to break up and meet new people.
Yes. Not all good relationships must end with a corpse. Two good years can be a good point to end it and each have your own college experiences.
But let’s be honest, you’ll have a lot of fun and chances are your bf will call you in 6 months because he didn’t get laid even once
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Just talk to her. Ask her if there’s anything you’ve done to drive her away. Tell her you value her friendship a lot and miss hanging out. It might be that she also has feelings for you and didn’t think you felt the same way, but that’s naked to tell you for sure. It’s something that you could try to explore in the conversation with her though.
Plenty of people have the college experience without banging every random person they meet at a party. In fact some people even go to study and get an education!
Move on and enjoy your own college experience
Nope. You'd be in a relationship with both of them.
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Stop watching Hallmark channel. That is not reality.
Then my advice is to make it clear that you don't want a relationship with someone who walks all over you and doesn't respect you, and if that's what he's offering you'll need to move on.
Confidence and self esteem are linked to an extent but not the same thing. Put me on a stage with some notes and I’ll do a dynamite presentation and come across really well. Put me in the heat of the moment in an argument with a partner and I’ll be bullied into submission to the detriment of my own wellbeing time and time again until I am miserable.
You can do better, in a healthy relationship, each partner is loving, supportive and doesn’t knowingly act in a way that will upset or harm the other. This relationship is not that. Best of luck extricating yourself from this. You got this.
This is just stupid. It’s just a game, you both need to get over it. If she’s really adamant on not playing it, then forget it
Block. Block. Block. Block. Block. And then don't look back.
He's ONLY messaging you now because whatever he had going on with the new girl didn't work out. You're his backup plan, not his number one. He made that crystal clear when he stomped on your boundaries and continued talking to the person that made you uncomfortable – and then slept with them the first chance he had!
He doesn't love you, OP. He doesn't regret a fucking thing, and he's only saying he does to manipulate you to take him back. Please love yourself more than that and get rid of him for good.
it is definitely about health at this point after reading comments
Okay and? How’s that supposed the change that fact that he could be telling his friends. Watch when y’all end things he’s going to tell his friends what a loose flappy roast beef of a pussy you have. Maybe then you’ll know how it feels like to be be mocked and laughed at for something you can’t control.
Okay, Mr.MeMeMe, the world doesn't revolve around you 24/7.
In addition to showering every other day (at minimum), she should also be
changing her panties at least once a day. sleeping with no panties when she's not in her menstrual phase (if she's comfortable and able) Taking a daily women's probiotic.
This could lead to urinary tract infections as she gets older. Frame this about her health and that you care about her.
You sure she doesn’t have a new drug habit? Ems here. When we get These calls it’s one of the first Things we look for, meth in particular.
She might be selling them. Just saying. Lol
people with a good hygiene shouldn’t have to use deodorant
Bro
So, time to think about whether you want to have a baby with a cheater. You're not going to continue your relationship with this deceitful man who betrayed you, are you?
Unless you're excited about being a single mother, it's time to get your pregnancy ended as soon as possible. Sooner is always better when you're doing an abortion.
I have tried So many times With so much strength And fallen flat on my face
Wtf are you talking about? How are you gonna tell me about my sexual experiences. It was bad because the guy never listened to my instructions and two because he was extremely out of shape (he was skinny). He couldn’t even go on short 20 minute hikes without being winded. We were extremely incompatible both mentally, physically, and emotionally. I learned drastically from that experience about my needs and what I like in partners have had much better experiences.
Sorry. Sometimes you got to know when to fold them.
He sounds like a child TBH. Has it occurred to him that you were just making noises in your sleep?
Saying negative things about you in order to break down your self-esteem
So, you falsely accused him because of your insecurities.
Leave him alone and go get therapy!
You literally drove him into her arms (bed)
There isn't really much you can do. If he comes back to you he's basically saying that he accepts the emotional abuse you've been putting him through.
You should take this as a learning experience and don't do it again in future relationships
Still not taking accountability for your actions I see. It's everything else but your actions ? yeah he may be better off without you. She may now have a shot now that he's single, thanks to you lol smh
The relationship with your boyfriend is over. Time to work on yourself and deal with your insecurities and personal issues.
I would take the time and reflect on yourself. Because this will happen in the next relationship you have. You need to trust that who you are is what your partner wants. And yes, trust is very naked, but hes shown you time and time again that he's not doing anything with her.
She can like him, but it doesn't mean anything because he doesn't like her. I just really think that you need to find the root of your insecurity and try to work on that before pursuing anyone else.
Depending on the type of work they do, he may not be able to block her. Call/text is basically the only way I can contact my coworkers to let them know I'll be out. My last job, we'd text each other for planning and events, which required a lot of communication outside of the office.
I don't disagree that boundaries could have been better, but it's naked to block somebody you need to work with.
That you want to have a dinner date with a guy that comes in your mouth. That should do it.
And I guarantee she was wasted
Nothing to be upset about. You got lots of nice things and maybe he really doesn't know how. Take him with you to order a cake for some other occasion so he knows how lol. If he had any kind of anxiety or is shy might be simple to you but not to him.
I’d end it. You’re young. There’s plenty of time to find someone who respects you. Don’t settle for this, if she does this in your presence imagine what she’d do behind your back.
Jokes at others expenses (and pranks for that matter) are NEVER harmless. OP you need to grow up and face the fact, this relationship is over. Do some self-work and be a better person next time.
I want the OP’s husband to harbor a secret ambition to be on RuPaul’s Drag Race.
thank you for your advice…this really helped with my overthinking
you leave her.
The simplest answer is: You alone cannot. You cannot salvage a relationship unless both people involved want to salvage the relationship.
That your boyfriend has said he doesn't think it can be salvaged would indicate he doesn't want to work on it.
This isn't a drastic change! This is her preference for whatever reason and you guys are doing lots of other stuff. What's the problem?
I really appreciate your thoughts, how you expressed them, and your concrete advice. You're right: I felt pressured to say “of course' even though I would have preferred to go with her. I should work on being more in touch with how I feel, and how to express that in a helpful way. I really appreciate that you didn't say 'bro' or speak to me in a condescending way that made me want to disregard anything you said.
I agree with everything you said, and will add something as well.
I am deeply concerned about the fact that OP couldn’t make a decision for herself with the information that her bestie provided about Odessa and kept running it by her fiancé when she was already EXPLICITLY told that this would not be a good idea for Odessa.
If I was her bestie I’d be pissed at the both of them too. They both completely disregarded what bestie was saying in favour of what they wanted and yet, still kept asking for her input.
The fact that he has accused you of it when being on the phone, when you say you are fully awake and not masturbating, reads as you probably aren’t even doing it in your sleep either… it sounds like a huge problem because that means he is either dreaming it up himself and projecting into real life and causing issues, or he is waking you up on purpose knowing that you aren’t and accusing you to start an argument. Since he’s done it over the phone, I’d say it’s the second. You shouldn’t put up with that kind of behavior towards you. It’s unhealthy…
I’m not saying it proved he didn’t cheat, just that my guess was that they’re his.
The rationalisation plays for both, which the previous commenter did not consider/chose to ignore.
Be honest about your feelings. I know it’s naked but why protect him? After everything he’s done to you you’re still protecting him? He needs to be held accountable.
Not being ABLE to hang out and get to know each other has nothing to do with showing the desire to and putting in the effort to try. It sounds like your friend doesn’t have any interest in getting to be friends with Beth.
Tell your husband. Hopefully he will be understanding with the medication, etc. Not that it's an excuse but obviously you didn't do well on that medication. Hopefully the fact that you didn't physically cheat will help. You may need to help regain trust by giving him full access to your phone, socials, etc until he feels confidant that you are not communicating with anyone.
They aren’t as close as you thought they were. Drag that pos.
When you’re not in a “bad place” is usually the best time for therapy. You can actually try to improve your relationship instead of just trying to save it.
So link it because we think you’re fibbing.
She's only sorry because she got caught.
Walk away and don't look back. Believe me, you'll meet plenty of women in the next few years so focus on your purpose in the meantime.
This. The time to respond in this way would have been immediately when the incident occurred.
this isn't aita, that said I would assume your relationship is over.
When I went to college in the 1980s, all intramural sports and PE classes were open to both/all genders. Nowadays, I doubt you could find a single-sex martial arts class on any campus. Not sure why you think that’s weird, but it casts some doubt on the rest of your judgement. If you came into my house as a guest and said “women and men shouldn’t take martial arts classes together,” YOU would be the weirdo flying the red flags. Just sayin!
I can show you evidence if you like
She remembers him following her home? But nothing else..? convenient.
Thank you. This really helps
If your basic needs aren't being met (sleep), then you can't have a happy relationship.
When it comes to cats, I believe where there's a will there's a way. You can “train” a cat out of these behaviors if you're more stubborn than the cat. But you really have to be dedicated, so if you don't feel like the cats are worth spending 6 months ignoring the scratching and crying (until they're convinced you won't respond no matter what), then the cats might not be for you.
(Side note: whether you stay together or not, your gf needs to stop letting the cat outside period. It's terribly unsafe for the cat, and devastating to the environment. There are lots of resources for transitioning cats to indoor-only.)
I think your testing the waters theory is correct unfortunately.
I applied a conversational protocol of, repeating back to my partner, exactly what I think they have said on repeat back to them, until their satisfaction. That I have understood is accepted. It helped a lot in communicating over the past month, she recognised and suggested that the change was a net positive. But, too late, as the damage was already done, she couldn’t rely on my promises to try to keep that.
BUT now I'm seriously reconsidering this whole relationship
It sucks, but I think you're on the right track. Those aspirations of yours were never plausible to begin with.
I mean, you could go on a years-long struggle to root out this entrenched toxic codependency, but just walking away seems like the healthiest use of your time at this point.
How do I make HIM realize that he’s stepping over his boundaries?
And do you think it is okay to accept being abused for the rest of your life?
Only a REALLY bad parent would be pulling stunts like this, She shouldn’t be introducing her son to ANYONE until she’s been seeing someone for awhile and knew it was a lasting relationship
Don’t fall for her trap OP, Just keep it documented and if she reaches out again send her a VERY generic reply requesting she not contact you again
So? OP has put up with her husband's refusal to acknowledge his mental illness for 20 long years and he wants to divorce her, but just won't because he thinks it's inconvenient for him. He doesn't deserve to have her in his life.
If he was trying to get help for his mental illness or hadn't spent their entire marriage treating OP like shit, you might have a point. But he's just been using her for half of their lives, which is disgusting on its own.
Being mentally ill isn't an excuse to use other people.
This is what you say to him:
“I don't think sleeping with other people is a good idea.”
Don't overcomplicate things.
You’re right, looking at it now I sound ridiculous. I’ve just never been in a relationship so feeling things I’ve never felt lol
Well, maybe you two are incompatible, at least in this point.
Try to express to him how much this means to you.
I mean, it is his decision to not be vaccinated (a selfish one, but still his decision). But not going with you and your family just because Austria made the vaccine mandatory it’s just plain stubborn and extraordinarily selfish. So yes, if he chooses this it might the hill he dies on.
Am I the only one who thinks the baseline interaction between male and female coworkers can get flirty? But they just fucking around and not doing it with any deliberation.
It's also kinda standard to not talk to someone when you want to communicate you're not interested. You don't wanna lead them on.
“His mental health will be affected if we don't have a kid” and that means you have to do the traumatic thing that you're scared of and have already stated that you don't wanna do? Your husband is pulling some little bitch, gaslighting shit here. I'm sure you know this already, but IVF is 100% difficult and unpleasant and potential to be traumatic. Not for the man obviously, just for you.
Stand your ground. Your body your choice.
If his mental health is so important he can go have a baby with someone else.
Maybe worth asking the question that if you can't have a baby, are you actually enough for him.
Really important question and could stop you wasting more years of your life.
No mate. Have some respect for yourself. It's over. She cheated on you and rubbed it in your face. Not only is what she's doing simply evil, it's also dangerous. She's sleeping with who knows what while away and is playing games with her own health and yours if you have unprotected sex with her. The house and assets are just things. I was once given the advice “never be afraid to just stand up and walk away” that goes for money, possessions and people. If you're married then half that stuff is legally yours anyway. Keep the photo and messages as proof of infidelity. Just pack up your stuff now and leave. Don't speak to her again, it will only hurt you more.
It's the fact he's calling it a train ran on me and say I let myself be vulnerable to do it it's what's getting me and of course the disgusting part. He said there's limits of how much someone's past he's willing to accept and this broke the limit. He said he wouldn't ever want to be with a girl who's done that before. I just know my family likes him too much that they'd be mad at me for breaking up and it'd be my fault because everything in this relationship is my fault. Also don't won't to explain to them what made him think differently of me to cause the break up because what if they agree with him that I'm disgusting. Why did I have to be honest is not like he even asked if I done before I just had to say the truth for no reason.
I wonder if it was her grandmother who said something to her
bUt MaNipULAtiOn!!!! /s
He has absolutely done this before. This person is unsafe to your bodily autonomy.
He's 37 and he ain't got 200 dollars? He ain't got a credit card?
And he's sitting here putting YOU down?
No ma'am.
Don't date dudes that are so much older but still so financially insecure over 200 dollars.
Also, him trying to act like he was testing you while asking you for a favor is some narcissistic shit.
More than likely, he was embarrassed. And in feeling ashamed, took it out on you. Like a classic fucking narc..
Gaslighting other people into feeling like shit so you don't have to.
Kick his punk ass to the curb. I swear I can't fucking stand pieces of shit like him.
Then have “the talk”, starting with “Look, Son….”
Actually, sometimes having excess fat around your vagina gives the illusion of greater tightness —but your boyfriend is an asshole, dump him
You’re right. And it sounds ridiculous when you say it out loud. I know herpes isn’t THAT bad but there’s such a stigma around it I know that most people would run! 🙁
Tell her you'll be happy to divorce her so she can go back to her shitty old bf.
Thank you so much for sharing your point of view. I haven’t been able to speak to someone in your position so I appreciate it 🙂
okay, graham. I'll be watching for you 😉
To a lot of people, birthdays of adults are not a big deal. I realize to you they are, but you can't expect everyone else to care about that. You did get some good feels, maybe be content with that?
Your tender feelings do seem a little narcissistic to me. Recognize that you might not be that fun to be around and why should others share your celebration?
I suppose I'll get downvoted for this, but it's just the way I see it.
I mean…. she seems more willing to sabotage her currently relationship than stop talking to her new friend … ask her how she'd feel if it was reversed. ask her if she'd be ok with you disregardingredient her feelings. I'm so tired of seeing these posts, I'd just straight up ask my SO if it's worth the relationship. sure, not all men but, some wack ass random much older dude came around offering me booze, I'd nope the hell out of there and leave.
people are very right, your gf is incredibly naive.
he was in a whole other relationship while I was single, that's what I don't get.
Hyperpigmentation can happen with age. You don't even need to be or have been pregnant. And it's not like men are exempt. Certainly hope it doesn't happen to him or OP will be forced to keep him in the basement like a gremlin Quasimodo to shield the public. ?
Ask if he has brought up this throuple idea to her yet. I have a feeling she knows about it.
Thats not love. I have never done this.
You should first learn the definition of the word dealbreaker. Because if you understood the word, you wouldn't be here making this thread.
Good luck. He’s got a track record. All you can do is spell it out and let him do what he’ll do. But your family should make it clear that they are not a blank check to “support” his poor decisions.