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1. So for all the people making weight gain seem inevitable, it's not. Western culture has made it seem like we're all doomed to blow up at 40. We're not. We are in control of our weight. People don't want to hear it because it puts the responsibility back on us but it's the truth. People who deny it on are on par with flat earthers. Also, you're allowed to have preferences. How you handle it is important, and don't be out here expecting her to look a certain way if you look like a potato.

   If you think her mental health is so fragile that having this conversation might send her into a spiral, you might want to consider the long term ramifications of being with someone who is this fragile. As the child of two mentally unstable people, I can assure you that frailty doesn't get better if they don't WORK on their shit.

   She can lose the weight. She can keep from gaining more. But she has to WANT to do it and be in the right mindspace for it. Getting older doesn't mean fatter, but if she doesn't get on top of it now while she's 60 lbs overweight it becomes so intimidating to lose more than that. I speak from experience.

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