Clearly he cares so much when openly making fun of her with a bunch of his friends. Wanting help around their living space was only a small gesture that they feel will help reduce the stress and pressure. They aren’t saying “if you want sex then do the dishes or fold and put away the laundry.”
Thanks! I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make the right thing, no matter how much it hurts me I don’t even care at this point. Thought of saying something hurtful so she can move on but it feels so wrong and it’s not fair, we’ve been good friends. I think ghosting her would be even worse, at least I should say something before
Yeah thanks! I think I would do better at home for a while but I love my relationship and don’t want that gone. We love each other but I feel like this would fuck it all up.
Omg don’t listen to all these people saying your marriage is over!! He is just processing it. I had a foursome with my ex (had NOTHING to do with why we broke up) and we had a few days of fighting/processing after and then it just became our fun little secret and actually brought us closer. Sounds like you have a good relationship and are open minded folks. Just give him time and honor his feelings! It will be ok!
How is it enjoyable to have sex with someone who isn't into it? He's essentially using you to masturbate and throwing a fit like a toddler when you don't hand over the toy he wants. He responds with defensiveness when it is suggested because he knows what he's doing is wrong.
In my experience, permissive parenting is much more common when parents are separated and even more so if one home has less than 50% physical custody. Historically, got better or worse, it’s been the man who gets less physical custody. Hence the origin of the phrase “Disney Dad”.
You may think it’s cute now when she’s 4 that she can beg for whatever and you give in but long term, you’re creating a monster who also isn’t getting the age appropriate opportunity to learn to deal with disappointment and self soothe.
A parenting class would probably be a great idea. If you’re in the US, call United way 211 and they can let you know what is available in your area.
As for your GF, if she’s constantly responding that way, it’s possible there really is an issue with how you parent. Either way, you don’t like the criticism and you’ve asked her to stop. She hasn’t. So the ball is in your court. Take it or leave it.
Raising kids is hot enough. To try to do it with someone you’re not aligned with causes constant t conflict. I mod a childfree step mom group and 90% of the issues our members ask for help with are mismatched parenting expectations—largely permissive parenting or poor boundaries.
Because of your age, I’m gonna tell you not to go for it. If this was possibly the love of your life, and you could marry that’s one thing. But right now what you’re doing is shitting on your exes boyfriend or your exes boyfriend is hitting on you. It’s a really crummy friend move. You’re both single so you can do what you want but I would say plan to have one less friend in your life. It’s also not a good way to treat people in general.
I (F25) had an appointment at my gynecologist today and she determined that I am most likely pregnant.
A gynae said this?? I don't believe that a doctor NEVER ran a test but said you are “most likely” anything. The tend NOT to make guessing statements regarding peoples health because it opens them up to malpractice suits.
Also pregnancy is one of those things that the sooner you know the more options you have. So either your gynae is an awful “pro-birther” doctor who deliberately sets things up so time runs out before you can access abortion or this didn't happen.
That's really strong of you but like I just feel so bad for you in that situation. I know it was done with good intentions but something like that is usually something you want or need your mom's advice on. I'm sorry.
You’re going to have to see a video of them having sex before you realize what everyone here does, because you’re completely blinded.
Clearly he cares so much when openly making fun of her with a bunch of his friends. Wanting help around their living space was only a small gesture that they feel will help reduce the stress and pressure. They aren’t saying “if you want sex then do the dishes or fold and put away the laundry.”
Thanks! I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make the right thing, no matter how much it hurts me I don’t even care at this point. Thought of saying something hurtful so she can move on but it feels so wrong and it’s not fair, we’ve been good friends. I think ghosting her would be even worse, at least I should say something before
???
Yeah thanks! I think I would do better at home for a while but I love my relationship and don’t want that gone. We love each other but I feel like this would fuck it all up.
Pretty sure. We share our locations with each other and hangout almost daily. It’s possible but she would have to be god tier at hiding it
Read his other post, she’s awful. What he needs for his birthday is a divorce
Omg don’t listen to all these people saying your marriage is over!! He is just processing it. I had a foursome with my ex (had NOTHING to do with why we broke up) and we had a few days of fighting/processing after and then it just became our fun little secret and actually brought us closer. Sounds like you have a good relationship and are open minded folks. Just give him time and honor his feelings! It will be ok!
How is it enjoyable to have sex with someone who isn't into it? He's essentially using you to masturbate and throwing a fit like a toddler when you don't hand over the toy he wants. He responds with defensiveness when it is suggested because he knows what he's doing is wrong.
So you never dated locally?
You married someone you dated long distance?
Go no contact. Let him die alone and lonely. It’s ok for ppl to reap what they sow.
OP’s ex friend’s cousin is friends with OP’s cousin – what don’t you get
Why don’t you take them glamping on a different weekend? And keep your weekend for just you?
Being aligned on child rearing is important.
In my experience, permissive parenting is much more common when parents are separated and even more so if one home has less than 50% physical custody. Historically, got better or worse, it’s been the man who gets less physical custody. Hence the origin of the phrase “Disney Dad”.
You may think it’s cute now when she’s 4 that she can beg for whatever and you give in but long term, you’re creating a monster who also isn’t getting the age appropriate opportunity to learn to deal with disappointment and self soothe.
A parenting class would probably be a great idea. If you’re in the US, call United way 211 and they can let you know what is available in your area.
As for your GF, if she’s constantly responding that way, it’s possible there really is an issue with how you parent. Either way, you don’t like the criticism and you’ve asked her to stop. She hasn’t. So the ball is in your court. Take it or leave it.
Raising kids is hot enough. To try to do it with someone you’re not aligned with causes constant t conflict. I mod a childfree step mom group and 90% of the issues our members ask for help with are mismatched parenting expectations—largely permissive parenting or poor boundaries.
Because of your age, I’m gonna tell you not to go for it. If this was possibly the love of your life, and you could marry that’s one thing. But right now what you’re doing is shitting on your exes boyfriend or your exes boyfriend is hitting on you. It’s a really crummy friend move. You’re both single so you can do what you want but I would say plan to have one less friend in your life. It’s also not a good way to treat people in general.
I (F25) had an appointment at my gynecologist today and she determined that I am most likely pregnant.
A gynae said this?? I don't believe that a doctor NEVER ran a test but said you are “most likely” anything. The tend NOT to make guessing statements regarding peoples health because it opens them up to malpractice suits.
Also pregnancy is one of those things that the sooner you know the more options you have. So either your gynae is an awful “pro-birther” doctor who deliberately sets things up so time runs out before you can access abortion or this didn't happen.
Can't help but notice a pattern of mothers insulting the fathers to the kids after divorce (particularly after the mother has cheated)
I've met way too many people who've gone thru this as well as myself, and I genuinely can't recall a single instance of it being the other way around
See it goes to show how the context DOES absolutely matter tho cause you are totally right that that would change things!!
That's really strong of you but like I just feel so bad for you in that situation. I know it was done with good intentions but something like that is usually something you want or need your mom's advice on. I'm sorry.