You…you've 'dated' for 2.5 years yet you've only been out on two dates?
You always pay, he isn't interested in doing anything with you when you are in the same country, he makes no effort to even talk to you, yet he TELLs you you can't go out?
There is no relationship here, at least not by my definitions.
Yeah funnier to draw her a flower, or take a photo of a flower , +say u didn’t have any change. That’s much funnier and cheekier and memorable than a huge bunch of flowers way too early on in proceedings, that’s more suitable when you’re actually bf and gf
She didn't laugh at his insecurities. She had a spit-take style laugh because he announced obvious information. Same thing would happen if someone announced they were bald and made a big deal over just now realizing.
It isn't the insecurity that's funny. It's that someone was that unaware something obvious was a thing for that many years. It means they never actually bothered to look into it.
He can literally ask anyone else to help him shoot content, and if he wanted company he could've asked his best friend. His intentions are not platonic.
It's not really kind of her to dismiss your side project or refuse to let you work on it. It's not kind of her to manipulate you out of the alone time you so desperately need.
But remember that you were there to see your son being born, and it was beautiful, and no one can take that from you. That's the absolute most important thing.
She didn't “ruin” your son's birth experience. He's here, it was a safe delivery, and he and mom are doing well.
She may have marred it a bit, but as far as the birthing goes, focus on the big stuff when thinking about it. Just try to remove her from it.
Have you told your gf how you feel about all this? Like, sat down and had a quiet, adult talk about it? Your gf may be exhausted right now, and just not up for fighting with the friend, or you for that matter, so tread carefully and gently.
It stems from my need to people please and being overly caring. Trust me, I’ve tried leaving. At least 3 times. My mom says that dating a narcissist is hard because you become weak and addicted and it’s very very hot to leave. I myself cannot understand it.
Girl, he has emotional problems. So badly that the neighbors were upset by his yelling. Now he's lashing out because he's a bum and he's intimidated by the fact that you had the initiative to find a place to on-line because he fully intended to move in with you and have you take care of him.
She's already asked you out, so I don't understand why you are doubting her interest?
Just ask her out if that's what you want. If that's not what you want, then don't.
“Hey Person, sorry I couldn't go for drinks when you asked, so maybe we can try that again? I'm available [DAY 1] or [DAY 2]. Either of those work for you?”
She's already asked you out, so I don't understand why you are doubting her interest?
Just ask her out if that's what you want. If that's not what you want, then don't.
“Hey Person, sorry I couldn't go for drinks when you asked, so maybe we can try that again? I'm available [DAY 1] or [DAY 2]. Either of those work for you?”
I don't know if they change. I personally wouldn't stick around to test the theory. Cheating is wrong, in any capacity but it doesn't sound like this is “omg I made 1 terrible mistake 1 time and lost my whole world because of it.” This is someone saying “I cheated on my spouse throughout the entire marriage.”
Would she ever try to actually get back with him? Doubtful. Would he ever take her back? Probably not.
I agree with you completely. She may not, but the important aspect here is that OP now knows that she’s still holding out for her ex and OP is just the place holder here.
So, whether she actually tries to get back with her ex or not shouldn’t really matter, what matters is that she showed it to him that she’s not a good partner for OP.
Three months? That's WAY too fast for anything “spousal”! Far too soon to get married. Matter of fact, the way he is pushing this and trying to guilt-trip you suggests to me that he'd be marrying you for the visa…
Pump the brakes. Nobody should ever be pressured into marrying anyone. And, in my decades of experience, three months is barely enough time to start to get to know each other. Hell, I'm not sure I was willing to fart in front of a BF at three months…that may be silly, but that's the kind of gut-level knowing each other I mean.
Meeting each other's families, vacationing together, spending holidays. Having one or two big fights to see if you are both mature enough to work through them. Seeing each other sick. Sleeping together – not sex, but like actually sleeping together. Brushing your teeth, taking out the trash, splitting household chores.
These are all things you should experience with someone before even considering marriage. Marriage is (in theory) a lifetime commitment and you should know as much as you can for as long as you can.
Love doesn't keep a marriage alive. Ok, infatuation, new relationship energy, doesn't keep a marriage alive. Deep love does, but even more than that, hard work, dedication and compromise from BOTH people. It's learning how to fight fair, work fair, support each other even on the days you don't like each other very much.
If this guy wants to commit to you long term, he will get the PhD visa, and you can develop an actual relationship. If he's not willing to wait then this isn't about love, it's about the visa. Do not tie yourself to anyone who refuses to compromise.
I’m gonna be honest, I would cut my losses, gif edit back and file a restraining order. I’m absolutely not judging you if you keep the gifts, but for me no gift is worth my life. Alternatively, I don’t think you should be alone with him, and anything you do can be a risk. Keeping the gifts because he h knows where you on-line. Giving them back because you shouldn’t be alone with him or have him alone with you in your and/or his place of residence. I know no personal details about your life, but if you aren’t very marginalized maybe you’ll have luck with the police. It’s always a gamble and I’m so sorry that you’re “gambling “ with your safety. It isn’t fair or right.
Actually, it's very possible. Imagine being exhausted physically and mentally daily, then getting an extremely painful injury and then the pain dissipates…you'd be asleep too. He should've asked for help though regardless instead of trying to make his wife happy.
I realize that this isn't the main issue, but it's pretty messed up of him to expect you give him oral but he won't reciprocate
You…you've 'dated' for 2.5 years yet you've only been out on two dates?
You always pay, he isn't interested in doing anything with you when you are in the same country, he makes no effort to even talk to you, yet he TELLs you you can't go out?
There is no relationship here, at least not by my definitions.
Major Trixie Tang “tell me I'm pretty” vibes
Yeah funnier to draw her a flower, or take a photo of a flower , +say u didn’t have any change. That’s much funnier and cheekier and memorable than a huge bunch of flowers way too early on in proceedings, that’s more suitable when you’re actually bf and gf
She didn't laugh at his insecurities. She had a spit-take style laugh because he announced obvious information. Same thing would happen if someone announced they were bald and made a big deal over just now realizing.
It isn't the insecurity that's funny. It's that someone was that unaware something obvious was a thing for that many years. It means they never actually bothered to look into it.
Shes sorry bc it didnt work out w the other guy. Dont take her back
tell her that her vagina is gross and ugly
1/9 doesn't reverse.
He can literally ask anyone else to help him shoot content, and if he wanted company he could've asked his best friend. His intentions are not platonic.
It's not really kind of her to dismiss your side project or refuse to let you work on it. It's not kind of her to manipulate you out of the alone time you so desperately need.
It's okay to break up when you are unhappy.
Your gf's friend sounds toxic.
But remember that you were there to see your son being born, and it was beautiful, and no one can take that from you. That's the absolute most important thing.
She didn't “ruin” your son's birth experience. He's here, it was a safe delivery, and he and mom are doing well.
She may have marred it a bit, but as far as the birthing goes, focus on the big stuff when thinking about it. Just try to remove her from it.
Have you told your gf how you feel about all this? Like, sat down and had a quiet, adult talk about it? Your gf may be exhausted right now, and just not up for fighting with the friend, or you for that matter, so tread carefully and gently.
Teenage relationships are hell.
It stems from my need to people please and being overly caring. Trust me, I’ve tried leaving. At least 3 times. My mom says that dating a narcissist is hard because you become weak and addicted and it’s very very hot to leave. I myself cannot understand it.
Girl, he has emotional problems. So badly that the neighbors were upset by his yelling. Now he's lashing out because he's a bum and he's intimidated by the fact that you had the initiative to find a place to on-line because he fully intended to move in with you and have you take care of him.
She's already asked you out, so I don't understand why you are doubting her interest?
Just ask her out if that's what you want. If that's not what you want, then don't.
“Hey Person, sorry I couldn't go for drinks when you asked, so maybe we can try that again? I'm available [DAY 1] or [DAY 2]. Either of those work for you?”
She's already asked you out, so I don't understand why you are doubting her interest?
Just ask her out if that's what you want. If that's not what you want, then don't.
“Hey Person, sorry I couldn't go for drinks when you asked, so maybe we can try that again? I'm available [DAY 1] or [DAY 2]. Either of those work for you?”
I don't know if they change. I personally wouldn't stick around to test the theory. Cheating is wrong, in any capacity but it doesn't sound like this is “omg I made 1 terrible mistake 1 time and lost my whole world because of it.” This is someone saying “I cheated on my spouse throughout the entire marriage.”
Would she ever try to actually get back with him? Doubtful. Would he ever take her back? Probably not.
I agree with you completely. She may not, but the important aspect here is that OP now knows that she’s still holding out for her ex and OP is just the place holder here.
So, whether she actually tries to get back with her ex or not shouldn’t really matter, what matters is that she showed it to him that she’s not a good partner for OP.
Three months? That's WAY too fast for anything “spousal”! Far too soon to get married. Matter of fact, the way he is pushing this and trying to guilt-trip you suggests to me that he'd be marrying you for the visa…
Pump the brakes. Nobody should ever be pressured into marrying anyone. And, in my decades of experience, three months is barely enough time to start to get to know each other. Hell, I'm not sure I was willing to fart in front of a BF at three months…that may be silly, but that's the kind of gut-level knowing each other I mean.
Meeting each other's families, vacationing together, spending holidays. Having one or two big fights to see if you are both mature enough to work through them. Seeing each other sick. Sleeping together – not sex, but like actually sleeping together. Brushing your teeth, taking out the trash, splitting household chores.
These are all things you should experience with someone before even considering marriage. Marriage is (in theory) a lifetime commitment and you should know as much as you can for as long as you can.
Love doesn't keep a marriage alive. Ok, infatuation, new relationship energy, doesn't keep a marriage alive. Deep love does, but even more than that, hard work, dedication and compromise from BOTH people. It's learning how to fight fair, work fair, support each other even on the days you don't like each other very much.
If this guy wants to commit to you long term, he will get the PhD visa, and you can develop an actual relationship. If he's not willing to wait then this isn't about love, it's about the visa. Do not tie yourself to anyone who refuses to compromise.
I’m gonna be honest, I would cut my losses, gif edit back and file a restraining order. I’m absolutely not judging you if you keep the gifts, but for me no gift is worth my life. Alternatively, I don’t think you should be alone with him, and anything you do can be a risk. Keeping the gifts because he h knows where you on-line. Giving them back because you shouldn’t be alone with him or have him alone with you in your and/or his place of residence. I know no personal details about your life, but if you aren’t very marginalized maybe you’ll have luck with the police. It’s always a gamble and I’m so sorry that you’re “gambling “ with your safety. It isn’t fair or right.
Both in USSR and Russia, was and is, legal
And it wasn’t cause he was taking pain pills.
Actually, it's very possible. Imagine being exhausted physically and mentally daily, then getting an extremely painful injury and then the pain dissipates…you'd be asleep too. He should've asked for help though regardless instead of trying to make his wife happy.