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1. I vividly remember working at a fast food chain when I was 16-18. I worked overnights in school holidays and this was an inner city store.

   The uniform did no one any favours, I was a fairly awkward looking kid, and I definitely looked younger than I was (I still get carded if I’m not wearing makeup and I’m 26, the legal age here is 18).

   Anyway all this to say I would get constantly and consistently harassed by customers. Drunk customers. I’d politely tell them I’m working and they’d just stand to the side of my till with a line out the door demanding my number. I’d tell them I was a minor and many (too many) would just shrug and say that was old enough. For a brief period of time I was dating one of the kitchen staff (that ended terribly) but I’d say my boyfriend was literally working not 10 feet behind me and they’d still not get the hint.

   All of the women who worked there experienced that shit. One girl had a customer come in enough to work out her schedule and he’d come in when she worked and stare at her. She had to take her breaks in the staff bathroom because she was too skeeved out to walk past him. My manager told a story of how she had a customer reach over the counter and take the hat off her head (caps were part of the uniform) and when she asked for it back he said she’d have to give him her number first.

   Point being – sometimes, men just don’t care about your answer. They don’t care if you’re gay, or underage, or in a relationship, or working, or flat out not interested – our ‘no’ isn’t a no, its a challenge. An invitation to be convinced to say ‘yes’….and by ‘convinced’ I mean harassed and intimidated.

   Not all men act like this. I’ve had many men accept rejection gracefully and leave me alone…..but I’ve also been screamed at, been followed, and been threatened so, it’s safer sometimes to lie and let them think they got what they wanted, if only to give ourselves time to get out of there.

   It’s sucky but it’s unfortunately necessary.

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