Sounds like she values her parents opinions over her own and she’s decided that your relationship will never meet her parents expectations, so it needs to end. That sucks, but you have to let her go.
Life is too short and you’re too young to settle for this loser. Bulldozing you into being with him isn’t a good start to a relationship either. I’d be suspicious that he’s only with you to not be alone and for access to your vehicle.
Check out his comments: the married dude she slept with had an open marriage and she slept with his friend before they knew each other (or at least started dating). Also it's a small remote community.
I’ll hit ya with the reverse. Can women be in love with men and be faithful to a man? It feels like a lot of women have a hot time being faithful. My answer to you is yes men can not cheat just like women can not cheat. Just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I have the desire to cheat just as you don’t have the desire to cheat just because you are a woman. Some people are just assholes, that’s all it is.
You're going to have some more rough times before this all sorts out, but you need a fresh start. Try to focus on the kids and the future, not on the hurt.
i waited 19 years before setting boundaries for my sensory issues because i didn’t realize how much my neurodivergency affected me until i did more research. after learning more i realized i needed boundaries, i’ve been a lot more comfortable since then
Only my mom as a matter of fact, and I think that's cause she was super strict on me and sheltered me through my HS years.
Nowadays she doesn't really do it as much, but back then there would be countless arguements and I would feel bad for making her upset and she would guilt trip at times.
I recently left my ex-wife, because in the beginning it was great, but once we got married, it just went downhill from there. And not to mention, we ended up having a kid together while we were married, so it just made it harder if things have changed and he has not put in any effort. Honestly, I would leave your happiness is important and if your partner is not helping with it in anyway shape or form, it is not worth it.
I don't think she's trying to control it. I think she doesn't want a strange woman near her pregnancy or newborn. Which is fair. At best you would be with a new person 6 or 7 months before the baby is born. She shouldn't be involved in the baby's life. You need to bond and develop a relationship with your baby yourself. Not a new GF bonding with baby. Once the baby is older, vaccinated, etc, things are different.
She literally said she knows you may not want to wait until she's physically and emotionally up for sorting your relationship. That's not controlling. She's trying to be open here. IMHO.
Texting is not an efficient way of communicating I’ve never heard of a service that texts. Also, 18 and going to couples therapy is usually not worth it.
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Mind your own business. You don't know what the mother does or doesn't do, and you are definitely not close enough to know the details of their relationship and what rules, arrangements or problems they might have.
If thats how she feels, than it is worthless for her, and will only end up frustrating you because she doesn't care.
Figure out yourself what went wrong and why, for you, and take that information into consideration for the future. But you can't force closure on other people, and sometimes real closure is just pearning when to let something go.
So break up already. Tell her you break up with her, and whichever one of you doesn't own the home has 30 days to get out for good. No take backsies. Lol
He might be sweet but he is not a long term keeper. He does care about getting what he wants sexual but he is not checking with you on how you feel or are you up to that level.
Move on from him There are some amazing men out there that care about pleasing you..
He might be sweet but he is not a long term keeper. He does care about getting what he wants sexual but he is not checking with you on how you feel or are you up to that level.
Move on from him There are some amazing men out there that care about pleasing you..
You are worried about your dog, but you have a baby in the house who is being exposed to this animal abuse and volatile man. You have no business putting your baby in harm's way by forcing them to online in an abusive home. Your child has no way to escape or make decisions for themselves. Your selfishness of needing to be with this man will result in anxiety in your child, and mental health issues along with behavioural problems.
Children only have one chance to have their brains develop in a healthy way. You exposing your child to this man will cause life long issues. I grew up with a dad like that. My mental health as an adult is fucked because I'm stuck in fight or flight mode from my dad being unpredictable.
And you better believe that if your bf can beat a dog, he can beat on your child too. And scream at them, and throw things across the room to smash them. He will terrify you child the same way the poor poor dog is terrified. Stop chosing your boyfriend, and chose your child's wellbeing. You want your kid turning out as abusive and fucked up as your boyfriend? Cos that's the example you are providing for your child right now, and you refusing to leave teaches your baby that abusive behaviour is acceptable.
My wife knows my usernames, passwords, everything.
As well, I know hers. I don't check, because I don't worry about what she does. Sometimes I'll see what she does on here, but usual her comments just make me laugh.
What exactly did you find on his social media?
Without knowing what you found, it's hot to give better advice
Thank you to everyone who commented and gave me advice. I don't want to ask him to show me his results or to get retested since what we had is over. Honestly, I should have ended the 'relationship' a while back, and unfortunately, I learned my lesson the hot way. There isn't anything I can do now, and our relationship has affected me negatively. I will try to move on and be more careful when I'm ready to be with someone again. Thanks again for the advice; it did help me understand some things, and I appreciate it.
Your safety and mental health are your main priority. Keeping yourself safe is not particularly being selfish. If you can’t walk away helping her might help you heal.
If he’s love bombing her she probably won’t believe you.
If he finds out he will probably start harassing you again.
Can you snoop a bit and see if she has a friend you can contact? Can you find previous partners to see if they can assist?
That's a HUGE creepy moment and the fact that he doesn't want your sister to even be at your wedding because he didn't get a gross private show just screams how much bullshit you're signing up for if you marry him.
Because no way in hell is that going to be the only time he does that.
I do trust him, but his lack of trust in me and him accusing me is what made me think wait a min….. and guys can pass bv if they sleep with other women. It throws off the ph which leads to that. (Esp if uncircumcised). Just wanted to know if there were any women who had this problem and KNEW they’re partner was 100% cheating.
I see what you are saying, op, but I recommend getting all your ducks in a row for when/if the time comes that you want out. You are treading on eggshells around him, you are worried to say how you feel. Your relationship shouldn’t be this much of a challenge, regardless of what he said.
Why, thank you. And I agree, if OP can't flip off emotions, play it off as being stressed and exhausted. But absolutely, focus on your mama OP. As someone who lost her father, try not to think so much on your POS fiance.
That is true but there are definitely health risk more so than just doing exercises on your penis. You have to at least admit that. It's a pretty big decision to make in a woman's life.
Well I hope you spend the next 7 years making new, better friends. I was in a friend group like this and it ended with them trying to bully me out of school because I was raped at a party one of them threw. It started out with “harmless” jokes and ended in physical and mental trauma. Groups like these are terrible and is exactly why I don’t like friend groups.
who told you?
Sounds like she values her parents opinions over her own and she’s decided that your relationship will never meet her parents expectations, so it needs to end. That sucks, but you have to let her go.
Life is too short and you’re too young to settle for this loser. Bulldozing you into being with him isn’t a good start to a relationship either. I’d be suspicious that he’s only with you to not be alone and for access to your vehicle.
You come across as misogynistic. Maybe that’s why.
Check out his comments: the married dude she slept with had an open marriage and she slept with his friend before they knew each other (or at least started dating). Also it's a small remote community.
Yup, he says so in one of the comments
I’ll hit ya with the reverse. Can women be in love with men and be faithful to a man? It feels like a lot of women have a hot time being faithful. My answer to you is yes men can not cheat just like women can not cheat. Just because I’m a man doesn’t mean I have the desire to cheat just as you don’t have the desire to cheat just because you are a woman. Some people are just assholes, that’s all it is.
Best advice is dont come to reddit for advice lols. Pretty toxic here
This whole sub better get an invite to the wedding.
You're going to have some more rough times before this all sorts out, but you need a fresh start. Try to focus on the kids and the future, not on the hurt.
i waited 19 years before setting boundaries for my sensory issues because i didn’t realize how much my neurodivergency affected me until i did more research. after learning more i realized i needed boundaries, i’ve been a lot more comfortable since then
Only my mom as a matter of fact, and I think that's cause she was super strict on me and sheltered me through my HS years.
Nowadays she doesn't really do it as much, but back then there would be countless arguements and I would feel bad for making her upset and she would guilt trip at times.
I recently left my ex-wife, because in the beginning it was great, but once we got married, it just went downhill from there. And not to mention, we ended up having a kid together while we were married, so it just made it harder if things have changed and he has not put in any effort. Honestly, I would leave your happiness is important and if your partner is not helping with it in anyway shape or form, it is not worth it.
I don't think she's trying to control it. I think she doesn't want a strange woman near her pregnancy or newborn. Which is fair. At best you would be with a new person 6 or 7 months before the baby is born. She shouldn't be involved in the baby's life. You need to bond and develop a relationship with your baby yourself. Not a new GF bonding with baby. Once the baby is older, vaccinated, etc, things are different.
She literally said she knows you may not want to wait until she's physically and emotionally up for sorting your relationship. That's not controlling. She's trying to be open here. IMHO.
Texting is not an efficient way of communicating I’ve never heard of a service that texts. Also, 18 and going to couples therapy is usually not worth it.
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I bet you made more money as a CPA than whatever the fuck he does. He can stay at home then.
I love how you ignore every question related to your drinking habits
Mind your own business. You don't know what the mother does or doesn't do, and you are definitely not close enough to know the details of their relationship and what rules, arrangements or problems they might have.
This is really none of your business.
He’s going to KILL you. Get your stuff and get out.
If thats how she feels, than it is worthless for her, and will only end up frustrating you because she doesn't care.
Figure out yourself what went wrong and why, for you, and take that information into consideration for the future. But you can't force closure on other people, and sometimes real closure is just pearning when to let something go.
Maybe they are his sisters?
So break up already. Tell her you break up with her, and whichever one of you doesn't own the home has 30 days to get out for good. No take backsies. Lol
Does your country have any social services? Do you have any friends with a couch?
He might be sweet but he is not a long term keeper. He does care about getting what he wants sexual but he is not checking with you on how you feel or are you up to that level.
Move on from him There are some amazing men out there that care about pleasing you..
He might be sweet but he is not a long term keeper. He does care about getting what he wants sexual but he is not checking with you on how you feel or are you up to that level.
Move on from him There are some amazing men out there that care about pleasing you..
“How do I show him I don't only want him for his body?” Lol u liar
You are worried about your dog, but you have a baby in the house who is being exposed to this animal abuse and volatile man. You have no business putting your baby in harm's way by forcing them to online in an abusive home. Your child has no way to escape or make decisions for themselves. Your selfishness of needing to be with this man will result in anxiety in your child, and mental health issues along with behavioural problems.
Children only have one chance to have their brains develop in a healthy way. You exposing your child to this man will cause life long issues. I grew up with a dad like that. My mental health as an adult is fucked because I'm stuck in fight or flight mode from my dad being unpredictable.
And you better believe that if your bf can beat a dog, he can beat on your child too. And scream at them, and throw things across the room to smash them. He will terrify you child the same way the poor poor dog is terrified. Stop chosing your boyfriend, and chose your child's wellbeing. You want your kid turning out as abusive and fucked up as your boyfriend? Cos that's the example you are providing for your child right now, and you refusing to leave teaches your baby that abusive behaviour is acceptable.
He’s just admitted he’s okay with using her mouth as a fleshlight.
My wife knows my usernames, passwords, everything.
As well, I know hers. I don't check, because I don't worry about what she does. Sometimes I'll see what she does on here, but usual her comments just make me laugh.
What exactly did you find on his social media?
Without knowing what you found, it's hot to give better advice
Thank you to everyone who commented and gave me advice. I don't want to ask him to show me his results or to get retested since what we had is over. Honestly, I should have ended the 'relationship' a while back, and unfortunately, I learned my lesson the hot way. There isn't anything I can do now, and our relationship has affected me negatively. I will try to move on and be more careful when I'm ready to be with someone again. Thanks again for the advice; it did help me understand some things, and I appreciate it.
Yes, because she's concerned that he's gone from one extreme to the other.
That’s what I was thinking, sounds like he’ll say w/e also
Your safety and mental health are your main priority. Keeping yourself safe is not particularly being selfish. If you can’t walk away helping her might help you heal.
If he’s love bombing her she probably won’t believe you.
If he finds out he will probably start harassing you again.
Can you snoop a bit and see if she has a friend you can contact? Can you find previous partners to see if they can assist?
That's a HUGE creepy moment and the fact that he doesn't want your sister to even be at your wedding because he didn't get a gross private show just screams how much bullshit you're signing up for if you marry him.
Because no way in hell is that going to be the only time he does that.
I do trust him, but his lack of trust in me and him accusing me is what made me think wait a min….. and guys can pass bv if they sleep with other women. It throws off the ph which leads to that. (Esp if uncircumcised). Just wanted to know if there were any women who had this problem and KNEW they’re partner was 100% cheating.
there’s nothing you could’ve done, because he’s talking to other girls as well
Yes, it’s concerning that she doesn’t see that behavior as wrong.
I see what you are saying, op, but I recommend getting all your ducks in a row for when/if the time comes that you want out. You are treading on eggshells around him, you are worried to say how you feel. Your relationship shouldn’t be this much of a challenge, regardless of what he said.
Read my replies! I’ve answered all these questions!
Id burn it all down if I was you, but you have an opportunity to take the high road if you choose
Why, thank you. And I agree, if OP can't flip off emotions, play it off as being stressed and exhausted. But absolutely, focus on your mama OP. As someone who lost her father, try not to think so much on your POS fiance.
That is true but there are definitely health risk more so than just doing exercises on your penis. You have to at least admit that. It's a pretty big decision to make in a woman's life.
Now you know how women feel most of the time.
Talk to him sober, and only hang with him in group settings if that’s how you feel.
No problem, I hope you are doing okay and he isn't making you question yourself or feel down too much ?
Who says she wants to have sex any other way? They both just need to find someone who's compatible.
Well I hope you spend the next 7 years making new, better friends. I was in a friend group like this and it ended with them trying to bully me out of school because I was raped at a party one of them threw. It started out with “harmless” jokes and ended in physical and mental trauma. Groups like these are terrible and is exactly why I don’t like friend groups.
They have the right to not ejaculate in women irresponsibly.