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  1. Hey, he doesn't get what's bothering you because you seem to be having trouble explaining it. Or at least I'm perceiving it that way. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

    Option 1: You believe that he is overly sexualizing you and you would like to spend time with him without being seen as a sexual object. This is somewhat how you've explained it to him. You can't quite tell him to stop being attracted to you. How do you set a proper boundary here? Well, you can't. This is an impossible task. Likely leading to breakup. Not a bad thing if your issue is the level of attraction he feels for you.

    Option 2: Rather than this being about his attraction to you, this is about touch. This is a much easier thing to set boundaries on. If this is the case, then you set physical boundaries and make it known when and how you want to be touched. It sounds like you were tired from work – I have low tolerance for touch then as well. That's when you set a physical boundary: You tell you boyfriend that you don't want to be touched, how, and for how long. This may be a matter of sitting on the other end of the couch, or a matter of cuddling together but letting him know that he can't touch the places that you don't want him to touch. This gives him a practical set of boundaries that he can work with and he knows that you're still attracted to him.

    I feel like it sounds like you're trying to communicate option 2, but you've communicated option 1 because you don't quite have the language or tools for it. Again, please correct me if I'm wrong, but this is a skill that needs to be developed.

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