Don't play games inside your reletionship. Instead you should be talking about these sort of things openly.
Playing the “See how it feels” card will be counter-productive. It shifts the reletionship into a Me vs You mentality, something you never want to do to your reletionship.
You need to move on. I personally don’t have an issue with people being in touch with exes I am dating, but it has to be after a decent period of time where they are both indifferent towards eachother from a romantic perspective. This guy was comfortable having you do the labour of getting get stuff gone and is refusing to let go of her when they both don’t seem to over each other. Don’t wait around for this guy to start treating you with care or respect. He won’t
Ain’t nothing wrong with you my boy. Can’t say the same about ur girl. Don’t feel inadequate, there’s plenty of girls that love average or even smaller. Keep swinging that hammer and you’ll find a girl that won’t do shit like that.
The issue with answering a question like this is there is no winning if she is sensitive about it REGARDLESS of if he genuinely likes it or not.
If he doesn't like it then she's made a life altering change that if they do go their separate ways will be something she obsesses over as a mistake. And there's no way to tell her he doesn't like it without making he feel bad. (and as others have pointed out avoiding the question in this way will just have her convinced he hates it and just doesn't want to tell her because it's her own mind convincing her that something is wrong with her)
If he does then she might either feel like he isn't being truthful or that he didn't like her nose as it was before and that there are other parts of herself he doesn't like. She might start asking him about that and treat herself as a Barbie doll to be molded to an arbitrary standard of beauty.
As you said, what's important is how she feels about herself. And it's clear she doesn't feel good about herself, OP can't make her feel good about her insecurities. That's something she needs to come to a understanding of herself.
I think it's very bad idea that you asked him to move in less than a year after dating him. I think that it is strongly advised to end this relationship and move on. Maybe get some therapy and then find a guy that's more suited for you and wait until you ask him to move in until you really know him
This is a photo of a hookup he said that they stopped talking. Well that was a lie. I had a feeling bc he mentioned her out of nowhere, that they weren’t talking. I found out they still were. He said that inappropriate message was for me, but that night he ignored me video chat. He didn’t have his kids, maybe he was looking to hookup with her? Also found out she tried following him on Instagram. She tried contacting him again for advice but he blocked her. I think he unlocked her bc the contact had her name.
I wish I hadn’t read this… I’d be leaving the relationship and blocking him from life if I was you. I would also tell a family member close to the daughter about his comments and to keep an eye on her…
Write him a letter and tell him how you feel. I think it would be helpful to explain briefly your PTSD if he is not already aware so that he knows it's not because of something he did.
Nope, he doesn't want to yet because he wants to deal with some self conscious issues he has. I dont care about looks, and I've told him ill meet him whenever he's ready.
You should NOT have animals. Horrible example for you daughter – keeping a dog downstairs, ignored, no one even caring enough to take it for a quick walk to pee/poop. It is abuse. You haven’t moved yet – so how about you show some actual compassion for the poor animal and take it for a walk once a day.., or … gasp… play with them. Get them at least a little socialized before you give them away. Also- do your research- find a good rescue animal organization who can take your dog- don’t just drop it off at the pound or shelter on your way out of town. At least set the poor dog up with the best chance possible for a good life after what they have had with you.
I wouldn’t let my husband use my phone WHILE I was using it to “check his messenger” simply bc I’m selfish and would want to keep using my phone myself. And I might also say no to getting up and grabbing my laptop because I’m lazy.
Ah yes, sabotage your rare healthy relationship, for your ex's convenience. I am sure he will be uncomfortable with your future partners as well. For one reason or another.
Same boyfriend/fiancé you posted about 2 weeks ago?
Honestly: you seem to be looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship. You don't need one. If you want to leave you leave. If you want to stay reflect on yourself and why you are so unhappy.
As they should… knocking up someone you’ve known 10 months isn’t smart. Sorry OP. I hope this goes well, but I wouldn’t cut off your family, you might really need their help if the relationship goes south.
This is a good point not everyone realizes they can just contact these people and that they can be receptive to that contact.
Two wrongs do make a right.
Don't play games inside your reletionship. Instead you should be talking about these sort of things openly.
Playing the “See how it feels” card will be counter-productive. It shifts the reletionship into a Me vs You mentality, something you never want to do to your reletionship.
You need to move on. I personally don’t have an issue with people being in touch with exes I am dating, but it has to be after a decent period of time where they are both indifferent towards eachother from a romantic perspective. This guy was comfortable having you do the labour of getting get stuff gone and is refusing to let go of her when they both don’t seem to over each other. Don’t wait around for this guy to start treating you with care or respect. He won’t
Ain’t nothing wrong with you my boy. Can’t say the same about ur girl. Don’t feel inadequate, there’s plenty of girls that love average or even smaller. Keep swinging that hammer and you’ll find a girl that won’t do shit like that.
I hope so too. Sorry you’re having to go through this.
The issue with answering a question like this is there is no winning if she is sensitive about it REGARDLESS of if he genuinely likes it or not.
If he doesn't like it then she's made a life altering change that if they do go their separate ways will be something she obsesses over as a mistake. And there's no way to tell her he doesn't like it without making he feel bad. (and as others have pointed out avoiding the question in this way will just have her convinced he hates it and just doesn't want to tell her because it's her own mind convincing her that something is wrong with her)
If he does then she might either feel like he isn't being truthful or that he didn't like her nose as it was before and that there are other parts of herself he doesn't like. She might start asking him about that and treat herself as a Barbie doll to be molded to an arbitrary standard of beauty.
As you said, what's important is how she feels about herself. And it's clear she doesn't feel good about herself, OP can't make her feel good about her insecurities. That's something she needs to come to a understanding of herself.
Pee is no game
I think it's very bad idea that you asked him to move in less than a year after dating him. I think that it is strongly advised to end this relationship and move on. Maybe get some therapy and then find a guy that's more suited for you and wait until you ask him to move in until you really know him
This is a photo of a hookup he said that they stopped talking. Well that was a lie. I had a feeling bc he mentioned her out of nowhere, that they weren’t talking. I found out they still were. He said that inappropriate message was for me, but that night he ignored me video chat. He didn’t have his kids, maybe he was looking to hookup with her? Also found out she tried following him on Instagram. She tried contacting him again for advice but he blocked her. I think he unlocked her bc the contact had her name.
I wish I hadn’t read this… I’d be leaving the relationship and blocking him from life if I was you. I would also tell a family member close to the daughter about his comments and to keep an eye on her…
Write him a letter and tell him how you feel. I think it would be helpful to explain briefly your PTSD if he is not already aware so that he knows it's not because of something he did.
This is the sequel for the other Reddit post where the husband, and his dad planned on killing the wife after she had her baby.
Nope, he doesn't want to yet because he wants to deal with some self conscious issues he has. I dont care about looks, and I've told him ill meet him whenever he's ready.
Yeah, you’re right. I know I’d spend the whole time thinking he’s doing the same to me
You should NOT have animals. Horrible example for you daughter – keeping a dog downstairs, ignored, no one even caring enough to take it for a quick walk to pee/poop. It is abuse. You haven’t moved yet – so how about you show some actual compassion for the poor animal and take it for a walk once a day.., or … gasp… play with them. Get them at least a little socialized before you give them away. Also- do your research- find a good rescue animal organization who can take your dog- don’t just drop it off at the pound or shelter on your way out of town. At least set the poor dog up with the best chance possible for a good life after what they have had with you.
I wouldn’t let my husband use my phone WHILE I was using it to “check his messenger” simply bc I’m selfish and would want to keep using my phone myself. And I might also say no to getting up and grabbing my laptop because I’m lazy.
What kind of dog do you want?
I mean, turnabout is fair play. Announce your pregnancy two weeks before their wedding. Then announce the gender right after.
Is that working for you?
Ah yes, sabotage your rare healthy relationship, for your ex's convenience. I am sure he will be uncomfortable with your future partners as well. For one reason or another.
She was self reflecting, most likely she was cheating with her ex in her country. As her coming back, you're her second base.
If I was in your shoes, I'll drop her like a sack of potatoes. She sure ain't the relationship material.
Cut her off and go NC. She is EXPIRED!
Best of luck.
Semper Fi
“No”. It's a complete sentence. There isn't anymore more you need to explain there.
Same boyfriend/fiancé you posted about 2 weeks ago?
Honestly: you seem to be looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship. You don't need one. If you want to leave you leave. If you want to stay reflect on yourself and why you are so unhappy.
I don’t really see a way you could come back from this.
Don’t forget Ezekiel 23:20 She lusted for the lechers of Egypt, whose members are like those of donkeys, whose thrusts are like those of stallions.
He could go but he’d be single when he returned
I would like to not imagine that please…
As they should… knocking up someone you’ve known 10 months isn’t smart. Sorry OP. I hope this goes well, but I wouldn’t cut off your family, you might really need their help if the relationship goes south.