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Room for online sex video chat AshleyCa1995
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Date: October 30, 2022
After studying you get a job. After a while in the job they can ask for your work visa that you usually get permission to stay here and work for 5 years minimum and then you can apply for greencard. No you don’t marriage just patience.
If a woman posted that her boyfriend was going down on her for AN HOUR at a time without her orgasming people would definitely be saying it was likely a mental block, especially with the additional info of anti-depressants which can kill libido.
Based on your post history, I think she is cheating on you. Sorry about it
Yeah sorry this seems like a LOT for someone you aren't even really with.
For some reason, your comment is the only one I can see, even though I have notifications for like, 3 other comments. So… in your opinion, you think I'm in a doomed relationship? If you could have done anything different to save your marriage, what would you have done?
I went through a divorce of my own, with small children involved, so I can attest to the emotional trauma it can cause for everyone. That said, I would likely choose to separate if what you are saying is true, given the history you mentioned.
Does she expect you to give her oral? Only way it could be a red flag is if the answer to this is yes.
Only messaging one person as others have suggested leaves you open to disappointment. That one may just drop the ball and ruin the party. You don't necessarily have to be Facebook friends to send a message, so try to reach out to them without friending first. You may be able to just send a message through messenger eitjout being friends depending upon their settings. Just make an invitation and share it. Maybe get phone numbers from those who respond and make a group chat so you can coordinate.
I appreciate you saying that, I’ll start off with that to hear him out, I think his childhood didn’t allow him to do that. I would like to assist with that if he’s open. Thank you for that advice.
Listen ? to the top 3. Responses.
Hmmm divorce I’m not sure yet…lots of paperwork and I don’t want a custody battle over my children. I think an informal separation should suffice. Even though Derek is a quick fuck during my lunch break, we’ve been together for months and it’s just gotten better and better. And if Derek does decide to “cheat” on me, oh well, at least he makes me happy for the time being.
It’s a crime. People could die. He’s a fool.
In short you would be implying they were not protecting you as they should have (true) but nobody wants to face up to their failures. Find an impartial ear to help yourself heal. It won't be your parents. Keep the love and don't attempt the “sister” discussion. There is no upside.
Have you folks ever stopped to think that maybe just maybe she gets wasted gets screwed with consent from her and then pulls the rape card after she's sober? I understand there's lots of nasty people out there but this may be an excuse. Personally i think he should bail if she won't stop getting into those situations then it's her problem
I enjoy practicing!
He’s supposed to come with me on vacation for 10 days
Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. Break up with him now. Change all of your passwords and then soft block him everywhere. (You want a line of communication open in case he's stupid and sends you threats via text.) Do not be alone with this creep, definitely don't go on vacation with him.
Personally, I'm also a fan of warning all your mutuals. “Yeah, I broke up with Brandon because he threatened to choke me and he also described some murder fantasies. I'm not going to hang around until he hurts me before deciding to get out.”
Get pregnant?
i see you commented that you believe, due to others comments, that you should quit your job. i dont think you should jump to that conclusion immediately. try to get transferred to another person, you can use the excuse that the comments he made have made you uncomfortable and unable to feel you can continue serving his needs at this time. just because its happened once doesnt mean it will happen every time. these things will get easier in time, and asking for advice on how to avoid a negative outcome for both you and him should not lead to this level of condemnation you are receiving from the commenters here.
You dodged a fucking missile from this entitled, sexist, rapist bitch. Be happy about this.
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I am curious what you mean by no recovery? There is treatment and can be progress, why is BPD different than other mental disorders?
Overall, the conversation went well. I shared my rankings with her, but also said, unequivocally, that I didn't think my rankings should factor in. We actually ended up spending more time discussing her rankings, which are less solidified than I realized. She has a clear #1 and some defined tiers, but within those tiers she still needs to do more research, have more conversations, and reflect on her options over the coming weeks, regardless of our relationship. I realize that my rankings might influence hers now, but my rankings were pretty much exactly what she expected them to be so that could have happened anyway – I mean she knows where my friends and family are, she knows where the firm I work for has offices, etc. She wants to incorporate mine as ~5% weight, like a tiebreaker if she's truly torn between a couple programs. I still disagree but we can cross that bridge when we come to it.
I also want to clarify a couple of points from my original post:
1) It was completely reasonable for her to want to have this conversation. I did not mean to suggest otherwise. I was more concerned about how to approach the conversation.
2) It seems like many people interpreted my statement “Bluntly, I'm not interested in moving” as “I'm not moving at all”. That's not what I meant. I truly meant exactly what I said – I don't want to move. Every possible location would be a step down in terms of my quality of life from a friends / family / work perspective. But I'm still seriously considering it because of this relationship. If I definitely wasn't moving, and also not interested in long-distance, the relationship of course would need to end. But that's not where my head is at, and I think this misunderstanding may have skewed some responses.
I might reply to a few other comments directly, but I think that covers the main points. Thank you to everyone who provided time and insight. Reading this thread was difficult but it was full of valuable advice that I needed to hear
Do you think she’s never looked in a mirror or seen a photo of herself?
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Marriage is a contract and can completely account for this, if desired. If OP is concerned that she could potentially be left with nothing after a divorce, then OP should not agree to marry unless the marriage contract outlines an adequate split of assets in the case of divorce.
I am a little late to the party, but I am hoping you went out with friends. I am not telling you not to forgive, but make her work for it. I do give her credit for telling you immediately, but if you stay with her NYE is ruined forever.
Welcome to being a single mother
So she went off BC, then told you she'd want to keep the kid if she gets pregnant, then got pregnant in 2 months?
Idk maybe I've been on reddit too much but are you sure she didn't tamper with the condoms?
Also if you don't want a kid you shouldn't have a kid. The kid will know, they always pick up on it, and all 3 of you will end up miserable. You don't want to be a dad, you've always been clear about that. Just like you can't force her to get or not get an abortion, she can't force you to be a dad. You have every right to walk away but tell her now. You can't be on the fence now and later resent her. Tell her now so she can get an abortion if she doesn't want to do it alone.
Once a cheater always a cheater… hes cheated on his wife before this and lied and did it again w u while lying the entire time to u.hes even had u in THEIR house … do u want another woman fuxking your man in your house? Bc thats the shit he does…. hes a liar and will be a liar and unfaithful to u still…. be thankful you are not the one knocked up… be thankful his wife realizes its not your fault that its her pos husbands fault… run from this man fast and dont look back
are you talking about xie lian????
You sound like me!! I'm reading advice given to you and trying to take it myself haha
They banned me for saying “I won't argue, I'll just watch you be downvoted” and they were to about the tune of -250. But I guess I was too mean…lol
Ok so first of all when you say “where your mother will go” I'm confused if this means your mom just expects to online with one of you, or if you two are supporting her and she has no means to support herself. Because that changes the situation a lot. If your mother has a job or some kind of income and can survive on her own, this is really just an issue of informing her that sorry, her plans of you all living together aren't happening and she needs to make other plans. Look into places or activities she can make friends, find community, and have connection and support she needs to help the transition.
If she's wholly dependent on you and your sister then the two of you need to have a serious talk about what to do with her. Mental health professionals should also be involved.
Break up
This is rape.
If that’s the case, maybe hold off of the kink questions until later on? You raised the issue, if I was her I’d be thinking that you bringing this topic up and sharing your kinks meant you would expect me to do them with you and soon.
Stop making plans with her. Just because she’s your sister doesn’t mean you have to stress yourself out like this.
You're not dealing with it wrong, you're not handling anything wrong.
You diverted him because he had drifted away, not because you didn't love him at all anymore. You probably still feel something… And he just confessed he had been having an affair.
It doesn't matter that it started quite ago. It doesn't matter that you've already divorced. This is happening to you NOW.
You will need time to get over it, but if he insists, you should point him out that being divorced doesn't change that you were cheated and gaslighted.
I think it was a lovely thing to do, and not strange at all that you contacted her work. This happens with spouses etc wanting to arrange surprises. Have no idea why she acted like this though. Sounds kinda ungrateful. She can’t complain that you never do this and when you do, complain about it ??♀️
Maybe don't call what you think is an abuse victim a bitch?
Yeah he needs to stand up for himself and his kids but that's not really the way to say it.
The thing that bothers me, i think she lost some attraction to me. Before she was always complimenting me and calling me beautiful and very hot and what not. Now i barely get any of that
Choosing to go by them is totally fine. Insisting on being she or he or them depending on how he / she / they feel that day, is quite challenging for others but still perfectly okay. But getting mad that you mixed it up when you've been doing well so far is unfair and in my personal opinion, they are being overly sensitive. What I do think is in order: a genuine apology from the both of you to each other (you again for using the wrong pronouns in the argument and them for blowing up that much), a talk about the whole switching stuff and that you are promising to continue trying your best but they just can't expecting you to do it right every single time in every single conversation with every single person.
I do understand both sides here but also think that the two of you can still work a bit better on understanding each other.
She is in the wrong.
I think you may have been a bit premature in moving in with her.
If she's going to cheat on you, who she lives with and is friends with is completely irrelevant.
And the fact that her room mate is good looking doesn't matter either. She's either loyal or she's not. If she's going to cheat with someone because they're good looking (in your opinion) then do you expect her to work with ugly people? Ignore good-looking people who ask for directions? Be unable to perceive a good-looking waiter who asks her for an order?
Attractiveness in others isn't what gets people to cheat. Are you yourself surrounded by people you find unattractive?
Even horny guys gotta sleep, it’s nothing you did. He was tired and like you said, drunk. Don’t sit on this and keep it to yourself though, you two are young and may not be able to communicate well enough to each other yet, just make sure both parties feel comfortable when you talk to him about this. I’m sure he will reassure you that it was just drunk exhaustion.
Questions only get harder from here lol, you sure you’re 32??
I’m so sorry. You grew up together and as adults you want different things. It’s really commonplace but that doesn’t lessen your pain. I absolutely believe that you did the right thing. Mourn. Then go out and chase your joy. I promise you it’s out there.
You can use lube inside a condom. But if you can’t get it on without lube, you need better condoms. But lube is definitely better than lotion. OP says he uses lotion outside the condom too.
Since it could be sister jealousy I would try like a outsider.
Honey I need some help moving something Take him over to your sisters.
Hopefully you can get them in the same room.
Honey before I forget I need some advice it can not wait.
And sis I need you to on this My best freind has a boyfriend great guy very loving Well she called me telling me and asking what to do.
(Nope please sit down wait for me to finish) If sister is lying she will keep cutting you off.
She got a call from a freind saying he was hitting on her and trying to get a hook up with her.
Question is should she believe the call or ask her bf.
See both reactions… Does he turn pale? Get defensive..does your sister get upset?? Dies he give her daggers.. want to leave or lets talk..
Once you watch reactions
Turn to him and ask so did you really hit on her?? And point to her…. Ask her for a hook up….
Turn to your sister did he really hit on you ask you for a hook up. Point to him….
See who is telling the truth. Going to be a fight and back peddling by one of them
I am waiting for the truth… He really hit on you??? Did you??
If he really did it..dump him
If she is lying tell her your done with her.
Tell them both its always good to not believe gossip untill you can bring those involved together and see who is lying other wise you start to believe the lies and react….and later find out one was stirring. the pot..or cheating
And the one lying is happy while your hurt.
(Will be very hot but you will find over time when one either tries to gossip or lie to you
By bring those involved together they are caught and your not dealing with a mountain of lies and stress.)
Folks learn fast not to try to start things with you….
If you don't like it, break up and move. You sound like a mooch, honestly.
I think the husband is the cheater. He just gave you the biggest clue. Usually they accuse you. To cover up their own actions.
Honestly this is on you. Sure. She lied. Whatever. But you didn't even give it a thought. You never really cared about your wife if you didn't take a second to think or grieve before jumping in bed with her friend. Stupid. Silly.
Take the L and move on.
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My (F30) boyfriend (M43) of 6 months or so was on the phone with his male friend last night. He had it on speaker phone because he wanted me to “meet” his good childhood friend who lives far away. They chatted for a bit, I said hi and interjected a couple of times but it was mostly the two of them catching up.
Toward the end my bf asked his friend about his dating life as he’s recently single. His friend said he wasn’t really focusing on dating right now and then my boyfriend said “can’t you just f*ck some of your students?” (Apparently he is a college professor). His friend kind of laughed and was like “nooo that would be very wrong” and my boyfriend pushed it a bit more and it seemed very light and joking, but then his friend said “I mean, some of them are hot but they’re all pretty dumb” to which my boyfriend said “ooh even better! Sounds perfect to me! I’d do it!”
At this point the joke had gone too far for me and I just kind of looked at him with obvious shock and hurt. He took one look at my face and started laughing again. He said something like “oops I don’t think my girlfriend liked that!” to his friend over the phone. Then he playfully put his hands over my ears and said “I’m covering my girlfriend’s ears while I tell you how much fun that sounds!”
I took his hands off my ears and pulled away from him. He spoke to his friend for another couple minutes then said goodbye and turned to me and asked “are you mad at me?” To which I said “no, but I’m very hurt.”
He got very annoyed and said things like “well I guess I’ll just change my whole sense of humor then!” And “it’s just a joke! You’re too sensitive!” I started involuntarily tearing up and he said “I’m not going to talk to you if you cry. I’m just going to go sleep in the other room tonight.”
I convinced him that sleeping apart would just make me more upset, and I managed to stop the tears and we chatted for a while and he assured me it was just a joke and he didn’t mean it at all. I said it was a really hurtful and disrespectful joke, but eventually we moved on and started watching tv. But he never apologized and just made me feel like I was being overly sensitive about a nominal joke.
This morning we had sex and the whole time all I could think about was how he’d probably rather be banging an 18 year old college student instead. It was awful. I wasn’t into it at all.
He’s made jokes like this before that were borderline disrespectful and hurtful, but this was by far the worst. I just don’t know if I can ever move past this one. I’ve already started to look for other places to online so I can leave him… but I’m just wondering if he’s right and I’m just taking the joke too far. If so, how do I move past it? I can’t get it out of my head…
Our relationship is wonderful otherwise and I do really love him, so I don’t want to leave. But I just don’t know how to get past that comment…
TLDR: boyfriend made a joke to his friend in my presence about how much fun it would be to have sex with his friend’s college students. I was very hurt by the joke and now it’s really affecting me emotionally.
There is a difference between supporting someone for being poly and marrying someone who ignores boundaries. You should not put up with a partner being disrespectful towards you regardless of their sexual preferences. It almost sounds like she and her friends think she is allowed to do whatever she wants without consequences under the guise of being poly which is not fair to you.
As others have said though, you being monogamous and her being poly are fundamental incompatibilities. It would be wise to keep this in mind in your future relationships.
If you’re going to continue being sober, you need to learn how to do it on your own. You need to learn how to control your impulses on your own. I understand your wife was trying to help, but she’s not going to be around you at every event forever. Tell her this.
Ive dated people that went to prison, but i cant advise yoy if id stay if i dont know what he did.
She then mentioned how she doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore(she worded it like that).
Sorry, if a woman told that to me, I could never again find her attractive enough to fuck. It would feel like a pity fuck, all the time.
Cut your losses
Your boyfriend is shitting on your dreams and is unsupportive. Why do you want someone like that in your life? He's supposed to be supporting you, encouraging you, finding ways to help.
Girl, you can do better.
This is tough – but only because of how long you’ve be together. She deliberately cheated, lied about it for years, and concocted a fake rape story. All of which is utterly utterly appalling. The last could have seen someone face criminal sanctions or destroyed relationships. In general I would not continue with someone who cheats and doesn’t disclose – this is so so much worse.
This is so so twisted.. I didn't try to groom anyone, I wasn't taking advantage of her situation for god's sake. I honestly just wanted to give them the life they deserve after all the shit they went through. And I liked her as a person. It's that simple. She even told me that that's what she wants – a simple life in a small town far from the place that is tied to her past.
I feel like this comment is a little out of context here… Idk maybe I’m misreading but? Anyway… If you find fault with women being “liberated” on social media, then this lady is definitely not the one for you & I’m not sure how you’ve made it this far with her. She is clearly concerned with her social media presence, more than the average 30-year-old imo. And you don’t want to be with someone like that… she’s shown no signs of listening to or caring about your POV on this.
Ok well good
I was just assuming from most people that post on here.
My apologies.
And then in that case, this is a tough one. Only way I can think about is it not just ask her. Have 1-3 friends go with to watch it. Then you spend time with her and hangout, but you don’t have to either lead her on or have the awkward “this isn’t a date” talk
My bf and I did take a break last year for some months because we jumped into a relationship we weren't ready for. We are back together and exclusive. During our break, I know they did some sexual things, but he claims they never had full blown intercourse. He says he regrets what he did with her, does not have any feelings for her, and truly wants to be with me.
Hmmm….
I don't believe that he never slept with her. What would stop him?
Not only that, but when I went to class the next day and came back, they were taking a nap in bed together
This is extremely weird. He absolutely knows that you would not be happy about this, but he chooses to put her feelings ahead of yours.
He said he just “gave up” on trying with her, and I said I don't care, he knows the boundary, and that it can NEVER happen again.
So he can give in to her wishes, but not yours? Hate to say it, but it sounds like he's already chosen her on some level.
I’m asking for advice on how to better establish my boundaries and make sure they are not doing anything, which for now, I DO NOT BELIEVE THEY ARE.
You've made your boundary clear, you do not want your boyfriend to sleep with her in any bed, couch, floor etc. If this happens again, or if he continues to pander to her, you need to enforce this boundary and end the relationship with him.
Tbh I think you need to strongly consider breaking up with him, he seems to already be choosing her. He mostly likely slept with her when you two had a break, and I expect that she tried it on with him while 'napping' the other day. What's to stop her? He won't. He seems to enjoy the attention of two women fighting over him.
It is unacceptable behaviour. But you're making it out like he sat down and planned this. More likely it was a heat of the moment thing. He was hurt, and lashed out at her in response without giving it any thought.
Now if this happened often, OR the thing he said was more serious like bodyshaming or threats of violence, then I would say he needs to do way more work on himself and would hope the other person would get out of the relationship.
But all he did was essentially call her manipulative and likened her to her mother.
Pretty tame stuff.
It's something you were planning your lives around though and now you have to readjust. It's fair to have a dramatic reaction.
It's only been TWO months..What exactly do you expect to happen in two months?
He might not stay with her, but if they break up there’s nothing stopping her from getting an abortion
Perfect response Fucking 10/10
Well, don’t marry the guy.
Your expectations are not out of line. An adult should be able to clean up after themselves and take care of basic responsibilities like cleaning around the house.
Buy him a new one from a store…it's his Birthday!
I would imagine very few, if any, folks would use “my SO imitating hitting me” as a reason to leave.
Much less after you've added that you talked about it – regardless of if this is a slipup or not and while I'm not “normalising” it, that alone wouldn't be “it” for most people.
It being “dangerous” I can only assume applies to specific situations or those with history/issues with it as it seems to be a pretty normal thing for many to imitate slaps, punches, kicks and allsorts in the context of re-enacting any number of things or jokes and it not making folks upset – even on this occasion it was used to illustrate something and the context wasn't harmful.
If you've got a history or past which involves this then sure, OK, this is much more sensitive as a subject and if you haven't already, make it clear to him that this isn't just a “I feel awkward or kind of bad” and “this genuinely terrifies me and please don't ever do it”.
I'd read his reaction to how he ended up stuttering and then acted as being awkward, afraid himself and a reaction to either how you behaved to him being very angry or being apologetic and not wanting to continue either.
The pair of you need either some couples counselling, or to ensure that your communication is on point as either he doesn't get it, your reaction is equally terrifying or as a third option you need someone impartial to help you both be a couple and not clash.
I couldn’t even count how many times me and my husband have had random tickle fights and someone ends up smacking their funny bone on a piece of furniture or a head-butt happens right into a nose.
This was not an intentional type situation, accidents happen, and sometimes people can hurt/get hurt by someone that they would never do it on purpose to… it’s not an abusive type situation.
I appreciate the input. Him and my brother fell off four years ago. Not sure if that changes anything.
You sometimes can't reason with insecurity. Dump him. Next time it will be you not actually going to work, or the store , or with your friends for a night out.
Hes gonna carry around a white noise machine? I use ear plugs sometimes but can be very hot to hear the person ur talking to.
I would question it too, because he knows things about himself that you don’t. And frankly, if he’s going to say that I would first day to quit talking like that unless he’s got some things he needs to tell you. And if he keeps doing it say I believe you I’m out of here.
Usually but you should never set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
This person has shown OP that can’t be trusted and are willing to be very malicious. OP should continue to stay away from this person.
Think about it. Fat pushes outward, but it also pushes inward. It’s logical.
The way guys will find fault in women and damaging their minds with things THEY do??
I was looking for advice not ridicule
You’re 100% right. I guess the question is really for him— what he considers fully moving in. He is with me every single day and we call both his mom’s house and the apartment “home”, since sometimes we both sleep at his mom’s together. Every thing we bought in the apartment so far he has paid for… so I don’t know what he means by being “fully moved in” with me.
It is. But you know what’s even harder? Being miserable for the rest of your life because you stay with someone who treats you poorly.
You are legitimately misinformed…not sure where you got all of these ideas…but holy hell. Listen to the professional.
God I love you.
Can you explain why you think that is a reason to talk to her?
My ex and I used to call it a love burst. It’s basically just a huge rush of endorphins. If he’s experiencing that it means he’s truly and deeply in love with you. It’s a good thing 🙂
I'm not a he, and I'm not whining. I'm grateful to my wife, she's amazing, and I love her. I just want her to do two things.
Also, the unemployment is a recent thing, and I'm trying to get a new job. I don't like leaving all of that to her at all.