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August, 28 y.o.
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Date: December 4, 2022
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Right. I know I am lingering because of the emotional connect here, but this will take time I guess. Nice to see another take on this situation. Thanks for the advice.
The first step to loving yourself is to treat yourself like someone who deserves love. Be kind and gentle with yourself, like you would to a friend who is a bit vulnerable and needs your support.
Knowing that someone loves you, and seeing yourself through their eyes can also help you learn more about yourself and help you get to that point yourself.
The fact that she went out with other dudes and you didn't go out with anyone says everything to me. Move on. There are plenty of fish in the sea. She proved it too. 8billion people on Earth and you're stuck up on this one. She's just keeping you hooked emotionally. She doesn't want you to go out and replace her cuz according to psychology, women hate being replaced. We're hardwired through evolution, a woman wants a mate who will protect her from danger. She feels threatened to let go because then she will have nobody for her protection. She might be doing it unconsciously too, but essentially she's using you for her own benefits.
I suggest you move on. Please. For your sake. You can get many women. Don't be stuck up and be used like this. Value yourself.
Whatever else he may be, he is certainly not a friend.
We scheduled her an appointment, she should see a doctor on the 14th. Thank you for your concern.
So its not men. My wife is the same way.
Depends on the person. It matters to some, it doesn't to others.
I don't have a degree, my partner has two. Makes absolutely zero difference to us or our relationship.
He is either cheating or going to cheat. I think you should leave him and find someone who does respect your feelings.
your girlfriend is going be dating other people because her parents want her to. Regardless of you being in India, that’s odd. She should either stand up to her parents or break up with you, otherwise she’s effectively in multiple relationships at once and that’s not fair to anyone involved.
How do you see your relationship progressing with her? She won’t stand up to her parents so realistically there are two outcomes: break up or be her side piece forever.
Just break up now and save yourself the heartache of waiting until she’s found someone her parents approve of
Seriously?! If I gave my mechanic friend one of those he'd be over the moon. You honestly sound picky and ungrateful.
Don't save the relationship.
He can see you working, he knows what you're doing.
He's just decided he's a special snowflake who deserves everything he wants with no effort.
If you really love him, you can try to give him an ultimatum, maybe you'll scare him into behaving. But I don't think he'll ever change, this is his adult life. He's gonna spend the next 50 years grifting and playing victim and barely making ends meet.
You wanna be on the ride with him? It's a shitty ride.
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I’m not the best at picking up signals but I did notice that. I kinda sorta tried the second time we went out but she made it clear she didn’t want to as she was on her period and didn’t want our first time together to be when she was in her period. I mean I didn’t care but she did
There are very few people who get cheated on that actually see it coming, fyi. You’d have to be a special kind of idiot to marry and have kids with a woman you DONT trust not to cheat, but unfortunately that doesn’t mean they actually won’t.
No but when it's the right love, you'll want to work through the hot stuff. You don't “know” you love someone. Love is really about the choices we make every day.
You should feel like running the other way.
You're right. While I think there's a chance we can fix the relationship up, I know the cards aren't stacked in my favor so I'll be prepared for anything. Thank you.
It’s probably just a term of endearment, it’s not like calling your partner baby means you think they are a baby. That would be weird. So i wouldn’t read too much (or anything tbh) into it.
Don't agree to things you don't want. Stop lying to him and tell him the truth. You don't always have to please your partner. Your happiness matters too.
Mutual discussion that we did not want to get married. As in have a large wedding or need legal terms.
years? So you have been dating since she was 17? That's a bit sus my guy.
Other than that, your girl needs therapy and stat. If she does not want to, there is nothing to do. She needs to want the help, or it wont do any good, but talking to her about some intensive therapy is a starting point.
Why not speak to him? You’re putting too much weight into a card he would have spent maybe two minutes picking out
Absolutely. Do not let this guy make you feel any less of a person. He does not deserve that right. He is a piece of crap. Just leave him in the trash heap where he belongs and move on with your life.
I think you’re upset because it’s jarring for you to see that he’s very secure with himself and is completely fine without you. His attachment to you disappeared awhile ago and it’s not the same for you. I don’t blame you, it hurts when someone realizes their life is better without you in it. But you need to not give your energy to analyzing this dude anymore. It literally does not matter.
You're the problem, not her. You don't get to dictate what sex means to someone. It's fine if you think sex is more intimate and should only be shared between people in love, but it's not okay to expect that from someone who doesn't. You can certainly have boundaries and expectations in a relationship, but if you're looking to find someone who is going to hop in a time machine to uphold those boundaries and expectations pre their relationship with you, you aren't going to find one. Either get over it, or break up, but don't sit and resent her, it's not fair to her, and makes you look bad.
Trust your gut
So you terrified and harmed your girlfriend to prove a point? I hope she breaks up with you, better yet you break up with her. That poor woman.
Bet you’re one of those guys who thinks hey can take Serena Williams’ serve because you have a dick.
Congratulations. You beat up on your girlfriend. What a guy. How wise. You showed her. Also, you’re much smarter and more logical than she is. And better at math.
Have I covered everything you need to hear to feel like a big man? I pray you stay alone forever.
I feel like he tries to surprise me often and it’s really the sweetest thing but he usually just kind of misses the mark like I’ll say I want to do a dinner with my family for my birthday and he’ll book a reservation but not at the restaurant that I want and not for the right number of people.
I kinda want to say no more surprises lol the gesture is sweet enough but maybe include me in the planning or just be sure that you know exactly what I’m wanting before acting on it
How do you not care what people think? You just don’t. Understand that people are going to judge you for everything you do whether you’re a man or a woman. You have ice cream? Some person sees you with your ice cream and they think “fat ass.” But should you care? No because you have something you are enjoying.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for living your life and taking care of yourself as you see fit. People are going to judge, people are going to talk, let them. They’ve got nothing better to do than gossip and you can’t control that. All you can do is ignore it and do you. You don’t have to explain to people how shitty he was, you don’t have to explain that you made the effort. You don’t have to explain why you got your divorce, it is literally none of their business.
One thing that kind of helped me stop caring what others think is understanding that I don’t wake up to impress anyone. I was bullied growing up and as a result of that, I realized I don’t wake up every morning to impress people I’m going to see for an hour or two a day. They don’t know my story or what chapter I’m currently on and even if they do, their opinion doesn’t matter to me. As an adult now, there’s very few people whose opinion I’ll actually take seriously and they’re close friends, my spouse, maybe my parents depending on the subject and close family. Even with that, at the end of the day they get zero say in how I choose to online my life just like the people you’re around get zero say in how you live! yours. You do what’s best for you and your child and don’t look back.
You could online in one room with your daughter for now. Could you place an ad looking for lodgings with another single parent who is struggling? Give work contact details so he doesn't know. Stay single and idependant. Don't move in with guys because you are broke.