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Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
Look, what he said about men being pussies if they move in with their girlfriends is super wrong. But with that being said he obviously has a naked boundary: he likes his space. He wants to keep his own space his. That is 1000% okay! There are a lot of couples who do stuff like this to different varying degrees. So honestly it seems to come down to if thats something YOU can handle/respect. But from what you wrote it seems like you have the need to be in a relationship where you are close and share space. So at this point in time he isn't able to fulfill that need for you in this relationship and is obviously very vocal about it. So the ball is in your court. Personally I would break it off with him. He doesn't sound like he's a respectful dude anyways and obviously doesn't know how to communicate in a way thats functional.
My friend most couples will straight-up consider this cheating.
Doesn't matter if she's known him a couple of days or years – you don't go kissing other folks like that.
How do you know for sure that she hasn't done more and either not admitted it, or you don't want to believe it?
This isn't just an issue of forgiveness, it's also a matter of trust – for most I imagine it'd be a real, genuine and naked struggle to know their partner has the integrity to be 100% honest – there'd be a little voice telling you “she's not told you the whole truth” the whole time.
Don't make the error of telling yourself that “you aren't good enough” and you'd be forgiving her based on what you see as your fault, despite her being the one who's strayed – you're plenty good enough, you've admitted your faults and….
Well let's be straight- she hasn't apologised or shown any remorse – not so much as a “I should've just had a conversation with you, told you how I was feeling and made it clear I'm not happy”, all she's done is kiss another guy, let you blame yourself and sit there twiddling her fingers saying she needs to “think”.
You if anyone should be in her shoes thinking about your relationship and what this means that she'd do that unapologetically.
Maybe, sure, you are at fault also for not giving her more attention or whatever – but there's a big gap between “not spending more time with my partner” and “kissed another person” without someone, at some point, at least opening their mouth to say “I'm not happy”.
This is really helpful advice thank you. I do feel like roommates.
But I also have never really taken that time to evaluate what I personally want and need in a relationship. I think I first really need to evaluate my own wants and needs when it comes to relationships.
We started dating when I was 22, a lot changes between 22 and 31. I feel like I never really took that time to consider what I want in a partner.
That's if you have any money left after the grotesque amount she wants you to spend on a ring. The ring's cost shouldn't be that important, it's a symbol of love and commitment, not how much you make for a living.
I'm well aware of the outcomes for children raised by single parents. Financially worse off, but it's by far better for a child emotionally than being constantly subjugated to domestic violence in a household with two parents.
Op you know you’re not crazy. Why are you letting this man gaslight you into thinking you’re wrong? No respectful man would call another woman beautiful if he has a gf.
Well don’t know how custody works there….. I hope everything works out for you! I hope they have a fair system so he has to support with both time and money
If she’s a child/underage this immediately needs to be reported to child protective services or whatever form of that where you’re located. Most have ways to report anonymously live! or by phone. Save and send them all evidence you have, and warn her parents what is going on even if they may not believe it.
I don’t think this changes my answer. You told the truth when asked. You didn’t update, but things weren’t serious then. It’s been two years.
You are no longer a kid. Tell your father.
Hello /u/Spooked-Owlet,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
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Nah I was thinking the exact same thing.
they expect me that ill get into a different university , i think i got in because of a fluke .
Look, what he said about men being pussies if they move in with their girlfriends is super wrong. But with that being said he obviously has a naked boundary: he likes his space. He wants to keep his own space his. That is 1000% okay! There are a lot of couples who do stuff like this to different varying degrees. So honestly it seems to come down to if thats something YOU can handle/respect. But from what you wrote it seems like you have the need to be in a relationship where you are close and share space. So at this point in time he isn't able to fulfill that need for you in this relationship and is obviously very vocal about it. So the ball is in your court. Personally I would break it off with him. He doesn't sound like he's a respectful dude anyways and obviously doesn't know how to communicate in a way thats functional.
My friend most couples will straight-up consider this cheating.
Doesn't matter if she's known him a couple of days or years – you don't go kissing other folks like that.
How do you know for sure that she hasn't done more and either not admitted it, or you don't want to believe it?
This isn't just an issue of forgiveness, it's also a matter of trust – for most I imagine it'd be a real, genuine and naked struggle to know their partner has the integrity to be 100% honest – there'd be a little voice telling you “she's not told you the whole truth” the whole time.
Don't make the error of telling yourself that “you aren't good enough” and you'd be forgiving her based on what you see as your fault, despite her being the one who's strayed – you're plenty good enough, you've admitted your faults and….
Well let's be straight- she hasn't apologised or shown any remorse – not so much as a “I should've just had a conversation with you, told you how I was feeling and made it clear I'm not happy”, all she's done is kiss another guy, let you blame yourself and sit there twiddling her fingers saying she needs to “think”.
You if anyone should be in her shoes thinking about your relationship and what this means that she'd do that unapologetically.
Maybe, sure, you are at fault also for not giving her more attention or whatever – but there's a big gap between “not spending more time with my partner” and “kissed another person” without someone, at some point, at least opening their mouth to say “I'm not happy”.
This is really helpful advice thank you. I do feel like roommates.
But I also have never really taken that time to evaluate what I personally want and need in a relationship. I think I first really need to evaluate my own wants and needs when it comes to relationships.
We started dating when I was 22, a lot changes between 22 and 31. I feel like I never really took that time to consider what I want in a partner.
That's if you have any money left after the grotesque amount she wants you to spend on a ring. The ring's cost shouldn't be that important, it's a symbol of love and commitment, not how much you make for a living.
I mean, I wouldn't promote my kid to be a little shit, if I found out they did that, I wouldn't be happy.
If they did that, it wouldn't be by my teaching. Kids can show empathy ya know.
I'm well aware of the outcomes for children raised by single parents. Financially worse off, but it's by far better for a child emotionally than being constantly subjugated to domestic violence in a household with two parents.
Op you know you’re not crazy. Why are you letting this man gaslight you into thinking you’re wrong? No respectful man would call another woman beautiful if he has a gf.
Well don’t know how custody works there….. I hope everything works out for you! I hope they have a fair system so he has to support with both time and money
If she’s a child/underage this immediately needs to be reported to child protective services or whatever form of that where you’re located. Most have ways to report anonymously live! or by phone. Save and send them all evidence you have, and warn her parents what is going on even if they may not believe it.