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Room for on-line sex video chat Bad_Hot_Teacher
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Date: December 22, 2022
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I had a similar map my ex would always ask why I wasn’t where I said I was. Guess what the map was wrong. We sat side by side one day in the car and laughed at how it was giving different locations
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Why are you still here with us daft folk?
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Not me clapping while reading this. The first line took me out lol. I hope OP sees this
Could also be an idiot that’s counting it from when they had a positive test. Reddit was full of people thinking a man with prosthetic balls knocked someone up yesterday – biology clearly isn’t our strong suit.
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Just start a chat with me if you can help
It’s pretty rich that he uses the kid as an excuse to get back with you when he didn’t have any problem destroying the kids life last year.
That smacks of manipulation to me.
I understand what you are trying to say but 4 years was not a mistake, plus she kept him around as friends (BS even treated the guy as a brother/son until his passing) until this blew up. There are some heartless people out there, and this should not be minimized. this was not just a stranger, one night stand, but someone really close. This is a level of betrayal that is not your run of the mill affair. Hell, I'm willing to bet that even 60% of the 70% of the cheaters cited believe that this is ok.
This was posted months ago.
Our you could… You know.. Be more mature and not play any weird games.
Don’t contact him again. He knows he’s c0cked up here. You don’t say how long you’ve been together. Maybe the pressure of meeting your family was too much.
Buy a copy of The Rules. Don’t treat it as gospel but it’s worth a read.
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It's possible you're attracted to feminity, not just women. I am too. Ive seen guys on the internet (never in real life) that are extremely feminine and i find them really hard.
When you look at women you like, do you look for feminine features?
Your husband has an addiction. Treated the same as any other addiction. If it’s negatively affected your life and it’s going to negatively affect your baby, then he needs to get it under control or you’re gonna leave. You can’t control what he does, only he can. You can control what YOU do. Your choices are to either make it clear to him that this is unacceptable, let him make a choice, and then you follow through with the consequences of his choice (leaving him). Or you can get over it and deal with it.
That other comment asking why you decided to try and have a baby? It was harsh, but true. It sounds like you made a choice to make a massive life change, and to do all of the things that go along with it (not smoking, drinking, thinking about your future with a baby in the house) and you just hoped he would decide to grow up when you made those choices. Well, he’s not and you need to do something about it. He’s already being disrespectful of you. He WILL smoke in the house when the baby is around. He WILL continue to get mad when you “don’t leave so he can smoke” and avoid social gatherings where he can’t. He will make excuses the child’s entire life that will prioritize when and how he can smoke if he doesn’t take action to fix it. It will effect your relationship and your child. And even if he agreed to (lied to you about) stopping while you are pregnant, he def thinks this is temporary and not thinking about the literal human you will be responsible for in less than 9 months.
This is coming from someone who LOVES to smoke weed and drink and go out and have fun and do whatever I want that’s the REASON I don’t want to try and have kids because you have to change all that. That’s what you do when you have kids. You make sacrifices from your own personal life for their benefit. For him, it’s smoking and being present and respectful of you. For you, it might have to be your relationship.
Your husband has an addiction. Treated the same as any other addiction. If it’s negatively affected your life and it’s going to negatively affect your baby, then he needs to get it under control or you’re gonna leave. You can’t control what he does, only he can. You can control what YOU do. Your choices are to either make it clear to him that this is unacceptable, let him make a choice, and then you follow through with the consequences of his choice (leaving him). Or you can get over it and deal with it.
That other comment asking why you decided to try and have a baby? It was harsh, but true. It sounds like you made a choice to make a massive life change, and to do all of the things that go along with it (not smoking, drinking, thinking about your future with a baby in the house) and you just hoped he would decide to grow up when you made those choices. Well, he’s not and you need to do something about it. He’s already being disrespectful of you. He WILL smoke in the house when the baby is around. He WILL continue to get mad when you “don’t leave so he can smoke” and avoid social gatherings where he can’t. He will make excuses the child’s entire life that will prioritize when and how he can smoke if he doesn’t take action to fix it. It will effect your relationship and your child. And even if he agreed to (lied to you about) stopping while you are pregnant, he def thinks this is temporary and not thinking about the literal human you will be responsible for in less than 9 months.
This is coming from someone who LOVES to smoke weed and drink and go out and have fun and do whatever I want that’s the REASON I don’t want to try and have kids because you have to change all that. That’s what you do when you have kids. You make sacrifices from your own personal life for their benefit. For him, it’s smoking and being present and respectful of you. For you, it might have to be your relationship.
What is your definition of communicate? Sometimes after work I don't want to have deep thoughtful conversations because my brain is still whirling from work. Many people don't like discussing their feelings randomly, it's awkward if they don't know why they're being interrogated. Do you want to tell him about your day? What the kid is doing? Do you just want him to say “Nice. Oh yeah? That's great” or do you want him to interact? Does he respond if you ask, 'Was it a good day?' or something similar? You will be starved for adult interaction. Do you have friends you can see during the day to get your adult conversation time? Sometimes just sitting together can be romantic af if you do it right.
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He sounds absolutely charming…….not
I have no idea why you're being downvoted, I couldn't agree more!
I'm sorry but you don't want your relationship to be like this but its all it is. There is not secret relationship that just takes some time and effort that he's hiding. This is him..
Breaking up in a relationship isn't some tool to get what you want. Its literally breaking your heart and leaving you. And he's used that effectively in an attempt to break you down and get what he wants.
Hes not taking the relationship or you seriously. Constantly throwing you away like trash and not being man enough to deal with a fight or argument in a mature way.
I'm not sure why you'd want this to work after everything but if you truly do. You need to stand your ground so he stops abusing you. I highly reccomend you just cut your losses now. But he needs to know very bluntly and clearly. The next time he dumps you. 1 day, a week, 5 years from now. The very next break up is perminant.
Take his tools of manipulation away. Let him get away with it no more. But again.. At the end of the day hes manipulating your broken heart on purpose.. I wouldn't fight for that.
It's because is a business.
You really need to talk to your husband about this.
My 2 cents:
You requested he do something to make your birthday special and he did then you pooped all over it.
I your writing not once did you mention that you said Thank You for anything he did. After he has spent several thousand dollars on just gifts for your BD.
He did a thoughtful thing by doing the pendants and you pooped on it
I think this is more of an entitlement issue than anything else.
So don’t answer at all when she starts doing that. Train him out of it. He wants to act like an idiot/train him like one.
He might be wanting a FWB thing. It’s also possible that this is his trying to flirt(?) now that you’ve shown interest. Idk I’ve kinda done the same. Bad mental space doesn’t really spell logical decisions. I’ve told girls I wasn’t in a great space to date but still carried on semi flirting in hopes that I could convince myself to just try a relationship
I understand! I dont feel attacked at all.
I didnt know it was a bad way to deal with stress.
I’m going to stop buying beer and figuring out a better way to deal with work stress.
Sounds more like the issue is that you had fought about something earlier in the day, and then you chose to go out drinking with your friends without her rather than resolving that issue. Is that a possibility?
I guess I get it, and I honestly think this is what I'll end up doing. It's just that keeping it from her feels weird. But I guess it's all given due to the pressure. I'll take your advice and try to approach it more easy going, thank you for your words and for taking the time to reply. Blessings.
And one that might be the last thing you see for the rest of your life
He just gave an ultimatum. ??♀️
If you're not worried, why not?
Dude
Does your dad restrict where your mum goes?
If not, then why not meet your mum outside, go for a coffee or lunch? Or invite her round to your place?
One or the other, at the end, would end in a relationship that doesn’t meet their desires. I wouldn’t lose time in such thing.
The fact that he might follow your desires, doesn’t mean he would be happy with it and you would probably end living in doubt because soon or later people have to satisfy their needs.
Leave.
Sooo many red flags.. HE manages your time? Let me guess, you ALWAYS do what HE wants to do, right? Has he been distancing you from your friends? And what do you mean by “budgets my money”? Does he take your money and give you what you need only for stuff he approves of? all of this is abusive behavior. Please tell me you don't live! together. My advice? Cut your losses NOW while you're not bound to him..
I haven’t been able to get seen yet but I have an appointment set to start therapy soon. I’ve had multiple panic attacks recently and my bf is the one who suggested I talk to someone.
“why today?” And “was there a specific reason?” Sounds like she's pressing you for a motivation and dreads an answer you might give.
Did she expect you to propose and she didn't know how she'd react?
Is she flirting with someone at work and thinks you might know about it?
Has she been talking to friends about leaving you and thinks you're going to confront her about txt msgs you found or something?
She's “overwhelmed”, alright, but not for any reason she's willing to share with you (if you're not already wise to it) and doesn't want to even lie to you for fear of getting caught up in it.
You'll find out soon enough, I'm sure.
This. All of this.
The guy is deflecting, he’s controlling and he’s trying to force you into the box he’s locked out for “ideal woman” which happens to be a 50s housewife.
He’s not a nice guy.
Get away as soon as you safely can
I am in my 40s now, but in my teens (growing up as a girl in a relatively conservative and sheltered existence,) it hit me like a ton of bricks when an older guy wanted to date me, at age 15. I was all for it; someone was showing me attention! He was so educated about the world and attractive! I finally saw through the grooming a-hole’s facade when he tried keeping me from all of my friends one day; a switch just went off. Point being, people need to educate their daughters about these shitbags so that they (we) don’t keep being taken-in by them.
You need space otherwise you won't be able to move on
So, your team making the NFC championship game is imo an exceptional, rare occurrence that would justify dropping everything else. Do you follow sports?
Looks like life had it's own plans with you two… Who knows? Maybe you two grow together and become the couple you're by law, happened before, why not with you two? I don't say, this must be the right way for you, just that it's possible .
Don't rush and stick too strictly to your plans, when life taught me one thing, it's that no matter how good your plans are, they get toppled over and don't matter on the long run, hear inside your heart and look what time will bring. Be open to it, you can't force anything…
I'm not at the point, I saw me 10 years ago, love several hundred km away, am married have a different job, not the degree I planned, a chronic illness but I am the happiest I ever was . Just take it as it comes…
Then you need therapy
I guess you're right. Her words of love just seemed to contradict her actions. I had hoped that she just felt trapped at home and things really would change once she moved out, but that's clearly not what happened. I understand how unhealthy this is in retrospect, and how damaging this all has been to my self-esteem. I guess I'm just venting and getting things off my chest at this point. It's strange how logic disagrees with my emotions.
Thank you for reading and for providing feedback.
Get fucking rid.
Congratulations on the impending birth of your first child
Leave him. He’s wasting your time. Anyone who says they have an issue with you but cannot or will not name that issue is a waste of time. It’s a control and manipulation tactic. Look that up, it’s a huge ?. It’s a budding tactic to control you and gaslight you into thinking YOU have issues and YOU need to fix something about YOURself but he’s u willing to do the same or even take basic responsibility for his actions.
“I don’t believe in abortions but I’m not willing to wear a condom” yeah okay. This is a fast track to single motherhood and a deadbeat father.
Also- condoms can be purchased by either one of you and if he doesn’t want a baby with you, HE needs to wrap HIS penis up in a rubber. JFC this is basic sex Ed.
Why would an abortion “save your marriage”. You are married to a cheater and liar.
Good thing he doesn’t live! with me
I feel like this is simple after reading your comments. You are disgusted by them and that’s not going to change for a long time, maybe never, and you definitely need therapy to get there. You don’t want them at your wedding, so don’t have them at your wedding. I’m sure your partner knows how much you loathe them. But all in that same breath, you’re allowed to feel the way you do about their situation, but they’re also completely allowed to do what they do. It’s consensual, and it’s something a lot of couples do surprisingly. They’re not bad people for what they do in the bedroom. You need to come to terms with that for your own health, whether you ever “like” it or not.
Did I say that?
You do not have to compete with porn. That is like saying women have to look like movie stars all the time. Any guy who watches porn and is addicted should be glad he’s got a real woman. The more you compete and do things in the porn films, the more men are going to demand that behaviour as normal. I think your boyfriend is being cruel to you. Does he worry about how he is satisfying you? Does he bring you to organs every time, enough foreplay, going down, etc. You are both very young. Sex isn’t a competition.
False sense of security? I really don’t get this perspective. So I shouldn’t attempt to date someone if I’m not 100% sure I want to die with them? They both have reservations about kids and marriage. How am I being pedantic at all?
Get a vasectomy or you’re being dishonest in this relationship? What kind of logic is that? Your view of relationships is ridiculous and out of a Disney movie.
Plan b is only effective up 165 lbs
Maybe he’s telling the truth? Or maybe he’s just embarrassed?
Unless he had a woman hiding in your apartment all night long I don’t think there’s anything to fight over here
Seems like you're also fixating. How do you know she's not had another ex since this? If not, why is it triggering? Is it because the shoe fits? Stop following her and move on.
Why go to dinner with him? Why is he an ex?
Without the context of this story, I can't offer much. I can say that arguing before dinner is a bad sign. His “giving me attitude” comment is infantilising and disrespectful. Why entertain this at all?
No one who loves you tell you that you are garbage. He is telling you he's an abusive piece of shit. Listen to him
Yes, for me this speaks to two possibilities. Either a) people in your life are picking up on something you're putting down and you need therapy.
B) You inexplicably surround yourself with people that all magically weaponise therapy as a way to make you feel inadequate….and you need therapy anyway to explore why you feel drawn to these dynamics.
I'm gonna double down on that therapy would be good for you brother.
I bet she would be booed off social media if they knew about her attitude.
We dated for about 7 months without him wanting to but a label on it since he got hurt before, but with them he went into a relationship much quicker.
Maybe he viewed getting into relationships more quickly as a bad thing. Or was not in a good place in his own life to rush into a relationship. Dont compare yourself in any way to past relationships.
One of the girls he described as “perfect” when we talked about previous relationships when we started dating. She was kind, but he wasn’t attracted to her, at all. So for this reason he broke up.
Attraction comes and goes, maybe his attraction to her faded over time? Maybe he specifically meant sexually? But you seem hyperfocused on the “perfect” (is this your phrasing or his?) There are multiple dimensions to any relationship, and for whatever reason, their's did not last.
Your jealousy of people from his past does not serve you well. At his age, he has a history, has shared it with you openly and now chooses to be with you. Either you accept it or find someone to date who has never had any other relationships (unlikely). This is an issue of your own insecurity, which is a “you” issue to work on. He can't change his past, nor should he.
One thing For sure is that You need to let him go asap, he deserves someone who is 100% about him like You where For your ex, don't make him waste more time or lead him on any longer, Your type is assholes, and he's not one, please let him free.
Your girlfriend gets sexually harassed and you’re more concerned with yourself? nice. Great partner right here.
I'm just saying I get why a guy might ask.
I am sad to see all the people claiming the problem is you. If the woman does not see the long-term goals you are focused on, explain that to her and move on.
You said you don't know if you can trust her. Did she cheat on you? It seems she was honest and said she developed feelings but isn't going to act on it and is willing to quit. Most people would not even tell the other person, but she's being honest with you.
Might be , that’s why I’m making this post
Might be , that’s why I’m making this post
Lol compromise involves two people. Op's husband is telling her exactly how is going to go, her opinion is unneeded.
Exactly! That’s why I feel so confused. There is so much more to having a family, and if I were to ever think about it, I’d want that with someone who wants to commit to me too. Otherwise, how do I not feel like I’d be an incubator for children that I know he wants, when he doesn’t know if he wants me as I am? He gave me more of an explanation, basically he thought telling me he’d want a family with me was supposed to be more impactful, because you still have forever with someone and it was meant to be a compliment. My compromise would be marriage before children, but honestly things feel like they’ve changed ever since, and I’m not sure if I can even agree to that. I’m just in an emotional limbo trying to figure out where it’s going from here. (Sorry for the late response, I’m getting notifications for other comments but I can’t see them and I’ve been trying to fix it because they look like valid points I should see too)
I’m sorry what? She’s a SAHM but doesn’t even do basic childcare.
I would try to get evidence for the eventual and nasty divorce/custody.
She isn’t stable for whatever reason. Her irritability could very easily morph into verbal or physical abuse of either you or your son if it continues to escalate. Protect yourself and your kid.
So you are working all hours to be the ATM that pays for a family life for your wife and her “friend”. Stop being a doormat. Talk to your wife, reduce your hours and spend some time being a parent.
ETA and definitely get both kids DNA tested.
Dude is also a straight up idiot posting those pictures on Facebook.
The court won't care much whether she is cheating when it comes to assigning custody. They will care about whether she is a fit parent.
You need to be sure of whether she is cheating so that you can be sure of your decision to break up with her or not. It might be nice to have something to show that you aren't just walking away from a relationship that involves a kid, but, really, collecting evidence to show to a third party isn't important.
If you do decide to break up with her, you need the best family lawyer that you can get, even if it means borrowing to pay the attorney. Think of it as cutting off a finger to save your head.
Thank you so much for your kind reply. I was sat here waiting for more backlash. I feel like reaching out but they were all so angry with me. I wish I could change it all. But if they saw what I see in him they would know its complicated. Thank you again
Agreed. It’s collapsed now when you open the post though. At 50 upvotes
Tell him you dropped your earring in the trash, and saw it when you were getting it out, also saw the make-up wipe, knew it wasn’t yours, knew what it was, and pretty sure he doesn’t wear make-up.
Probably not worth the headache it will cause you
I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve read a reply with the thought of “what if this other person I’ve never talked to before is lying?”
Let the cops find out. He does not have to be your problem
Men value fertility.
Women value the ability to provide.
In a nutshell. There are many exceptions to this rule.
I feel that it is her responsibility to get over it. In my culture, it is perfectly normal for a man to be in love with someone else. As long as I do not sleep with her, it is not cheating. She needs to get over her hurt feelings. I did nothing to cause them.
Liz says that I have been trying to make her have a “emotional affair”. But it is a not an affair because there is no s*x. Liz thinks continuing a relationship with her is “disrespectful” to my wife. But my Aimee (my wife) doesn't care. Aimee is just happy to be in America, make great love, and have new clothes. I provide for Aimee; that is enough for her.
Was the peeing intentional or accidental?
You squirted and he freaked out?
I feel like if this were another kind of traumatic experience, people wouldn't be telling him to go to therapy as the only solution, they would be telling him to remove himself from the situation because his safety and wellbeing has to come first. Nowhere else would going to therapy and then subjecting yourself to more trauma be the answer.
You need some couples counseling letting her know she is invalidating your feelings. My husband went grey and aged early, people always said to him you have a beautiful granddaughter. Our girl would say that’s my Daddy.
Not it’s not about the ring or invites. But weddings cost money. Rings cost money. Deposits must be made. When you spend on something you invest in it. And you’re right, she could’ve gotten nervous and changed her mind. But only she knows that. On another note, I would love to hear from OP if she has done anything manipulative in the past. For him to go directly to that statement is….a lot.
They worded as they was an altercation and said I was escorted off property. There was no altercation, and I thought everyone was escorted off after being fired. Working with a different staffing agency hoping to get start date soon.
Generally, there is a recovery period for us guys after we climax before we can get there again. Usually the more often we get there in a day, the harder it is to get there again. Usually we reset after a good nights sleep or some down time.
That’s nonsense…
My point is that his lack of sexual desire for his wife isn’t an indication that he’s gay. That’s literally insane.
The notion is ridiculous and it strips men of all their nuance and complexity.
I wouldn’t say it was 3 years wasted, like I said he really was a great bf. That’s why I’m so conflicted, I think my main thing is that that am I willing to go through the process of trusting him again
New fear unlocked
What the fuck? No you don't have BPD lmao. Your ex is a giant assclown and you were tired of being treated like shit. You're the side piece. He didn't “accidentally” cheat on you, what are you even talking about? He decided to do all those things because he doesn't care about you or respect you.
Leave. She clearly doesn't respect your opinion and thinks she can just bulldoze you into doing what she wants. The dog is YOURS and this is the way she's acting, how will she act if you guys adopt another dog together or have a kid?
Thissss. Relationships are hard work. They get boring. Love becomes a decision you make every day. It’s not just a feeling. When you decide to dedicate a decade and make a baby together you shouldn’t just walk away without really trying. I feel so bad for her too. Like gee thanks for leaving me now that I have this baby to raise on my own and a whole wedding to call off. ?
I’m certain my advice will likely not change, but what other things has he stopped doing?
But only through social media or what, live! gaming?! Have you ever actually hung out with this person?
You are still a virgin because you aren't working to make quality connections. Instead pursuing some old bag online. I am sure she is nice to you, but there are few smart, beautiful, self-respecting 40 year olds who would be interested in a 25 year old.
It’s been a while since I saw this particular troll. Fascinating!
I think at some point that may be possible but with these still being relatively recent I’d back off on it. Give it time, it could come back down the road.
It's not a big deal, but I would say hook up culture is more about being attracted to someone, most people don't just go up to just anyone and sleep with them, they find the person they're attracted to/vibe with. Not caring about them necessarily, but some type of attraction whether it be looks or personality will factor in to casual sex.
I've never known anyone to casually sleep with someone they weren't attracted to at all.
I feel really stupid now.
Bob doesn't get to be a bystander to his own wife's actions, and you don't get to be a bystander to your soon to be wife's bullying. Whatever you do, whatever they do, happens as a team. He is condoning his wife's actions by allowing them to happen without protest. But you don't get to excuse him because “he's a really great guy”, because if his wife is bullying yours, newsflash, he's NOT.
And if you stand around and continue to associate with people who despise your fiance so much they are actively sabotaging her relationships years later (because again, if he is not a neutral party when it's HIS WIFE), you are also COMPLICIT IN THE BULLYING.
Invite consequences and uninvite them and get better friends.
First loves are the best! The right mindset is to do what’s best for both of you. You’re working on your career which is the most important thing to do right now. Be gentle so you both have good memories.
Or OP is a huge piece of shit that hid the kids from their father. See, i can jump to assumptions with no proof too.
Because what you said is bullshit.
Oh, then the older kid gets to use all this destructive learned behavior on his younger half siblings. Even if the mother isn’t around them. As time goes on, they will mesh together more. If he can’t stop himself after a month how’s it gonna be after two years?
Cool. Where did I say it was okay to hide something from SOs? I said the post was bullshit, because it is. As a few other posts have stated in this thread: how did he hide this from his SO for so long? Has he never been topless in front of her? How did he hide his scars from top surgery? How did he hide his medication from her?
LOL you are welcome!
It is certifiable. Get therapy and stay single if you can't be a good person. It's not that hard.
Maybe he is tired because he provides for the whole household? Yeah that other stuff is bad and shouldn’t be neglecting his child despite work. If work is too much maybe he shouldn’t work as much and you get a job. I’m assuming he is tired from work
SNL meets porn.
Ask him not to tell you what porn he watches.
You are contemplating several large life changes at the same time. It might be helpful to take only one at a time.
For instance, move to new city but continue to live! together. If you still need more space, then online separate.
But I am sensing there are some substantial issues with the relationship. His lack of ambition, his video gaming, his lack of a vehicle. You might want to do one of those “pro's and con's list” tables with regard to the whole relationship.
everyone's past has an impact on how they behave.
Have you heard that saying that if you love something set it free, if it comes back it was meant to be.
Seriously. OP wants a tight young body without dealing with a ditzy young mind.
I feel like a lot of people responding to this did not read the entire post, especially the part where your partner told you this guy is gay.
A lot of women who have gay male friends refer to them with the same pet names they'd use with female friends. I regularly refer to my platonic besties as dear, honey, sweetie, etc. I don't do it personally, but I have had friends, including gay men, who referred to me as “love” or “my love”.
I think you should just be up front about seeing the messages, and ask your fiancée about them, but not in an accusatory way. Because as I said, it's very possible there's a completely innocent explanation. If the guy really is gay, you have literally nothing to worry about. Maybe even meeting him would put your mind at ease about it.
You are probably best just to say to her that her actions have shown you that the relationship has probably reached the end of its life and whether she cheated or not, as you are now in a position where you don't trust her at all that it's for the best if you split up.
And just leave it at that. There is no point in continuing with the accusations and to be honest, whether she has cheated or not is now beside the point. Her actions have shown you that she is not someone you should be dating and that whether you break up now, or later down the track, a breakup is going to be inevitable.
So there is really no point in continuing on unless you just want to waste time and fuck up your mental health in the process.
As a lawyer would tell you when being arrested “Shut the fuck up”. I think that applies to this situation sir.
Don’t tell her if all you will get is judgement. Try a counselor.
Report or not is up to you
Ok so you get out there, you date a bunch of women, and most roads will lead to where you are now
House, kids, husband.
Are you prepared for all that again? Most women your age that are single, will want to expedite that.
Not all of course but still the majority will. Think a single woman with no kids is gonna wanna sign up with you when you have three of your own? Slim chances
I honestly think you should go see a therapist to help you navigate what you’re feeling. You should talk to someone to help you figure this out
Because I want someone to respect my boundaries?? Ok
Because I want someone to respect my boundaries?? Ok
And remember, paying for child care can be added extra to child support, so talk to your lawyer. As a mom that was single for quite some time, time to decompress alone is essential.
I think the real question is did he actually stalk you to fabricate your relationship or was that text message just a joke that he sent to friends after he happened to meet you by chance? Because I’ve definitely had moments like that happen (where I’ve talked to my friends about something but never actually meant it and then it happened by chance and I joke about making it happen even though I didn’t, though nothing quite like this).
I can see this being just a series of bad coincidences, but if you feel like this man even a bit fabricated your meeting, run far and run fast because that’s some YOU level of stalking and obsession.
You two are not on the same page here at all. First. Why on earth have this conversation with anyone else around but you and him. He's going to feel ganged up on and not actually speak from the heart.
Second, seems like you two not only have two different timelines for when you should get married but two different economic realities and plans. that should be a discussion that is had separate from marriage.
Last If you are in a rush to marry and he is not, you should move on. He's not ready. Doesn't want to be ready. A rushed marriage is a quick marriage.
If she had told you the day of your date, or even a week later, would you have pursued a relationship with her? It's good that she admitted to it, but she waited until you were well into the relationship, making it harder to leave.
Ultimately it's going to come down to if you personally feel that you can move on from it.
Adults consider context. If he's not forthcoming when it comes to his workplace relationships, it creates insecurity when women from work message him about an activity OP believed only men would be at.
Marriage isn't a license for blind trust. Trust still has to be earned. If no trust has been earned, then situations like this are going to be questioned.
And no one is accusing him of “impropriety.” When it comes to this situation specifically, I would frame it as part of a larger issue of lack of transparency in the relationship. I doubt this woman is the problem. But OP hiding his work life from his wife, or his wife from his work life, is a much larger issue.
Cut contact unless you plan on cheating you will be starting an emotional affair already
I did tell my girlfriend about it and she seemed happy to hear about it? Any suggestions on what I should include in the list?
The only thing you have done wrong is compare your relationship to others that's always a bad idea. If a man isn't the flower giving type he should not be pushed, he is though, he gave some to his ex, a red flag in dating is when they refuse to do something they have done before with somone else. Another red flag is when one communicates in a straight forward way and the other one shows no signs on working on it.
You seem nonchalant about having an affair. What's wrong with your marriage; was your wife unfaithful?
There are a bunch of little things that are odd about your current situation. This woman and her friend sound like they're highschoolers with all the drama and the friend being the middle man. It's one thing to back away from the relationship but her completely ignoring you at work is a way to create more drama. I think you should really consider if this woman and you could ever end up in a healthy relationship.
Does he watch porn? Does he masturbate frequently or hours before sex? Did he experience any type of childhood trauma? Has he ever gone to the doctor to get himself checked? These are all factors that can influence his sex drive. If he wasn't sexually abused, maybe you should try a no-fap month first to see if it will increase his sex drive. The porn will definitely have to go so he can get used to what's in front of him. You two could ask for advice from a sex therapist to see what's missing during intimacy. The therapist could guide you two to try new stuff. Leave the doctor as a last resort. If you have exhausted every means and don't see any progress, then maybe you should accept that the sex won't be mind-blowing. As long as he loves and is still willing to sleep with you, then that is more important.