Yeah, THAT'LL help. If there's one thing that makes a man relaxed and confident in the bedroom, it's knowing that if he doesn't overcome his ED ON THIS EXACT NIGHT THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS OVER.
Honestly, just break up with her, speak to a psychologist and/or urologist, and find someone who isn't that shitty
No worries – there wasn’t a wings wednesday i went to after a work shift we didn’t end up going out out and straight into a 2hr performance class at college the next morning ??? it’s difficult for a lot of other cultures to imagine that being a casual thing that non alcoholics do I think because from what I’ve experienced in other countries, they just don’t have that? they might have a local pub that’s open every night or student bar etc but no actual clubs like we do…and usually it’s the local scottish/irish bar ?
Having the baby wake up every night when you come to bed late isn’t going to do anything good for your relationship either. Make sure you replace the ‘check in’ time that usually happens in bed before sleep
That's the thing though, I'm pretty sure my parents do like him, they're just balking at the notion of never having a trip again that's just our immediate family.
Which I'm not unsympathetic to, actually. Again my bf occasionally goes on trips with just his brother, that's their thing and I'm happy they have it. I think my parents view “immediate family only” trips as a tradition we used to have and have stopped doing, which they miss.
It's just the way it was brought up in this case created this awkward scenario.
So, one shift that over time I've been working to make is “spend less effort trying to be right, and spend more effort trying to understand why they did what they did and then figuring out if I'm ok with that”.
I got married at 21. The first year of our marriage was spent in two different states because he had a job and I had my senior year of college left. He graduated 3 years ahead of me.
Never did he ask me to transfer, and potentially lose credits. Never did he tell me to quite. And if he had? It would have the first of fight in our marriage. And it would have ended with him sucking it up.
He knew education was important for our future and my future career. Never let anyone (yourself included) get in the way of your career/education, especially in your formative years.
So how long do you think OP should hold the cheating against his father? His dad has clearly done the wrong thing, but that was 10 years ago, and we have no reason to think he's cheated on his current partner. Should he be ostracised for 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, 30? If someone does the wrong thing should we just consider them irredeemable forever? And in the meantime OP is to be punished by not seeing his siblings? The father is obviously at fault here, he should have just divorced the mother instead of cheating. But the mother holding onto her resentment over it 10 years later and trying to force other people to keep ostracising her ex is pointless and just causing herself pain.
Yeah op needs to get in with this, before the gf tries some bullshit, “it’s been 3 days and you haven’t even tried talking to me, this is how little you care about our relationship”. Then all of a sudden op’s on the defensive, manipulated into defending something he doesn’t even want
My life in a nutshell. Also every important moment I our family, I have to make the decision, plan, and execute everything myself. It does get depressing enough to put me on meds. Don't put up with it, and definitely DON'T have children with your manchild. Don't repeat my mistakes!
So unless you play FIFA for hours upon hours every single day, in which case I can kind of understand her…. it sounds like she's cheating on you and is desperately looking for a way to justify this XD
She certainly has a lot of attention seeking behaviours. Big social media following. Always wants to get her lips filled, breasts done. I want to attribute her actions to that and just seeking a thrill
There are a couple of things I’d be focussed on before meeting his family –
Firstly, his cheating – in my opinion, big red flag right there,
Secondly – the fact that all he wants to do is stay in and order food and watch TV, we are not in lockdown anymore, we all want to get out and do things – WHY is he wanting to sit inside all the time and not venture out – another big red flag (personally I think you are maybe a side chick who he is hiding from his family but thats just my take – I mean, you have been with him for the best part of 2 years right??)
Why are you concerned about making it work and meeting someone’s family when your values don’t mesh at all – I mean clearly you have responsibilities at the moment with your Dad and other things going on – why him? Why now? To me, and what information you have given, I don’t think he’s worth it.
Idk I feel like not telling your partner you did porn is different then not telling them about a nose job or something. This should have been talked about when you were dating. While I understand that it was a way to make money, still should have been brought up. I’d be upset too.
He is selfish and inconsiderate. What was he thinking about asking something like to your sister. You should be the one postponing the wedding for that total lack of respect.
My ex did something similar to me, and I continued to date him for another year, even remaining friends after I finally ended things. I was in denial that it was wrap because I didn't physically fight back. I told him NO many times but eventually just laid there silent crying. He did rape you, and in no way is any part of this situation your fault. You do need to get away from him. He will likely do this whenever you decline sex. Your consent is important! You matter! Someone who really loves you wouldn't do this.
No, he might say that, but he means he doesn't trust you.
He's basically saying that if one of them were to try it on with you, you'd be completely powerless to resist their unwanted advances. He's denying your bodily autonomy.
If that's the case, does she want said attention too much, to an unhealthy degree? Both of them need to be able to have time apart from each other to do their hobbies
If she doesn't have hobbies and relies on him entirely for a fun time, then it's her fault in the end
And how would you feel if your GF was in bed with another guy/holding hands next to you?
F*ck the sister
lmao jesus fucking christ.
Yeah, THAT'LL help. If there's one thing that makes a man relaxed and confident in the bedroom, it's knowing that if he doesn't overcome his ED ON THIS EXACT NIGHT THEN THE RELATIONSHIP IS OVER.
Honestly, just break up with her, speak to a psychologist and/or urologist, and find someone who isn't that shitty
Yeah. Really fucked up. I guess he’s being doing it for all these years (silently), but now I’ve gone too far for him to ignore.. it’s upsetting
begged for an open relationship
pretty sure he was cheating on me with
Lol. Please leave this man alone & grow up a bit.
You're stalking her now. Let it go. She probably forgot all about it.
No worries – there wasn’t a wings wednesday i went to after a work shift we didn’t end up going out out and straight into a 2hr performance class at college the next morning ??? it’s difficult for a lot of other cultures to imagine that being a casual thing that non alcoholics do I think because from what I’ve experienced in other countries, they just don’t have that? they might have a local pub that’s open every night or student bar etc but no actual clubs like we do…and usually it’s the local scottish/irish bar ?
Having the baby wake up every night when you come to bed late isn’t going to do anything good for your relationship either. Make sure you replace the ‘check in’ time that usually happens in bed before sleep
So whose the twitch streamer? Asking for a friend
This. OP, this. He was telling her you were home and to be appropriate. Conversations without you home were NOT appropriate.
That's the thing though, I'm pretty sure my parents do like him, they're just balking at the notion of never having a trip again that's just our immediate family.
Which I'm not unsympathetic to, actually. Again my bf occasionally goes on trips with just his brother, that's their thing and I'm happy they have it. I think my parents view “immediate family only” trips as a tradition we used to have and have stopped doing, which they miss.
It's just the way it was brought up in this case created this awkward scenario.
So, one shift that over time I've been working to make is “spend less effort trying to be right, and spend more effort trying to understand why they did what they did and then figuring out if I'm ok with that”.
The amount you're both working could be playing a role. Burnout from her job may be a factor.
He already told her what's up. She just ignored him.
No.
I got married at 21. The first year of our marriage was spent in two different states because he had a job and I had my senior year of college left. He graduated 3 years ahead of me.
Never did he ask me to transfer, and potentially lose credits. Never did he tell me to quite. And if he had? It would have the first of fight in our marriage. And it would have ended with him sucking it up.
He knew education was important for our future and my future career. Never let anyone (yourself included) get in the way of your career/education, especially in your formative years.
wouldn’t part of the money problem be less severe if you get a better paying job in that area you move to????
You did the right thing, that's all you can do…
So how long do you think OP should hold the cheating against his father? His dad has clearly done the wrong thing, but that was 10 years ago, and we have no reason to think he's cheated on his current partner. Should he be ostracised for 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, 30? If someone does the wrong thing should we just consider them irredeemable forever? And in the meantime OP is to be punished by not seeing his siblings? The father is obviously at fault here, he should have just divorced the mother instead of cheating. But the mother holding onto her resentment over it 10 years later and trying to force other people to keep ostracising her ex is pointless and just causing herself pain.
When someone says, “My way or the highway,” don’t forget that “the highway” is a valid choice.
If she wants to be treated rough, she’s going to love getting dumped.
That's what I'd do. Get the check, give it to her and say goodbye. Then she can't spin anything afterwards.
5 minutes with an amazing partner is better than 2 hours with a random
Yeah op needs to get in with this, before the gf tries some bullshit, “it’s been 3 days and you haven’t even tried talking to me, this is how little you care about our relationship”. Then all of a sudden op’s on the defensive, manipulated into defending something he doesn’t even want
My life in a nutshell. Also every important moment I our family, I have to make the decision, plan, and execute everything myself. It does get depressing enough to put me on meds. Don't put up with it, and definitely DON'T have children with your manchild. Don't repeat my mistakes!
So unless you play FIFA for hours upon hours every single day, in which case I can kind of understand her…. it sounds like she's cheating on you and is desperately looking for a way to justify this XD
I’d reply “or you give me half your paycheck and I’ll save it in my account”.
No way in fuck my money is going into an account without my name on it. Why can’t you both just put savings in your own savings account?
Yeah, if she cheated who gives a fk about snooping. Cheating is far, far, far worse Confront her about it.
Get yourself tested for std’s and talk to a lawyer
She certainly has a lot of attention seeking behaviours. Big social media following. Always wants to get her lips filled, breasts done. I want to attribute her actions to that and just seeking a thrill
Your first move to be to shit all over that plan by calling her and telling her what you read and that you are flying out there tonight.
There are a couple of things I’d be focussed on before meeting his family –
Firstly, his cheating – in my opinion, big red flag right there,
Secondly – the fact that all he wants to do is stay in and order food and watch TV, we are not in lockdown anymore, we all want to get out and do things – WHY is he wanting to sit inside all the time and not venture out – another big red flag (personally I think you are maybe a side chick who he is hiding from his family but thats just my take – I mean, you have been with him for the best part of 2 years right??)
Why are you concerned about making it work and meeting someone’s family when your values don’t mesh at all – I mean clearly you have responsibilities at the moment with your Dad and other things going on – why him? Why now? To me, and what information you have given, I don’t think he’s worth it.
Another question: What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
Idk I feel like not telling your partner you did porn is different then not telling them about a nose job or something. This should have been talked about when you were dating. While I understand that it was a way to make money, still should have been brought up. I’d be upset too.
He is selfish and inconsiderate. What was he thinking about asking something like to your sister. You should be the one postponing the wedding for that total lack of respect.
My ex did something similar to me, and I continued to date him for another year, even remaining friends after I finally ended things. I was in denial that it was wrap because I didn't physically fight back. I told him NO many times but eventually just laid there silent crying. He did rape you, and in no way is any part of this situation your fault. You do need to get away from him. He will likely do this whenever you decline sex. Your consent is important! You matter! Someone who really loves you wouldn't do this.
If it makes u feel any better me and my boyfriend haven't had sex in 3 years lol. And we are only mid 30s
Ohh. No, I don't see any problem with that at all. It's their job. Would you have a problem with a female doctor?
I find, people always yearning after past times are a really sorry sight. As they never appreciate what they have. Until it is gone and destroyed.
No, he might say that, but he means he doesn't trust you.
He's basically saying that if one of them were to try it on with you, you'd be completely powerless to resist their unwanted advances. He's denying your bodily autonomy.
If you're that worried break up with him. There are plenty of people out there.
She is a very hot mess. You are reasonable.
If that's the case, does she want said attention too much, to an unhealthy degree? Both of them need to be able to have time apart from each other to do their hobbies
If she doesn't have hobbies and relies on him entirely for a fun time, then it's her fault in the end