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bluediamond18 chat
Date: October 28, 2022
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You have either read the situation entirely wrong or are feeling quite entitled.
If one of my sons was receiving an award from work and I am available I would be happy to be there to see this accomplishment. If my husband was still with us you can bet our sons would have him there as well.
This has *nothing* to do with your relationship with him and frankly all the stuff about your sex drive is irrelevant to the situation. I find it quite creepy frankly.
You might post this to AITA and see the responses there. It seems like that is more appropriate.
How to get over it
This is a great example of why every relationship or situationship needs rules or boundaries.
I respect my partner's privacy and expect the same from her end, too.
It's not that I am hiding anything nefarious but just that I have had times where I've discussed her behaviour with a close friend and asked for advice on the relationship and not wanting her to find out about that and explode on me
Couples are different though, my sister and her boyfriend use each other's phones often without issue. However, they haven't been in your position where he has already looked in your phone without permission, so this dynamic is missing from their equation.
Sure, you said some shit about him to your sister when you had fought and been separated. It's to be expected, emotions were running high and the relationship you said was abusive at the time. What should be making you sleep better at night is the fact that you have been the one that respected the other's privacy.
At least it's good that he owned up to the fact that he went on your phone, even though it's a shitty thing to do and for a lot of people that would be grounds enough for a break up.
Right. If it's public posts, it's meant to be viewed?
Yeah! You don’t have to say stalking lol just couldn’t think of anything better to use XD
She just broke up with you and is giving you false hope that you “may” get back “together” if the visa goes through. She is using you. Cut off all contact and block her. Find someone who truly loves you.
This is just me, but if I'm already sensing trouble before making it official, I immediately cut it off. It saves time and potential emotional pain.
Do do it she’s trying to use u as a back up plan/place holder.most likely the reason she broke up with u is she was interested in someone else and didn’t want u knowing she might’ve cheated on you.she’s only coming back because the relationship she left u for didn’t work out.if she says that the reason she did those things was because of depression and alcoholism did she get help for those issues or did she just say she’s all better now.don’t get back with her you are most likely gonna get hurt again
Thanks maybe we'll try the involuntary commitment. He's been like this since he was 17. Things are getting worse everytime.
He’s near 30 and you’re a teenager. Reason enough to keep the relationship a secret. Then there’s the fact, as you’ve determined, that he most likely is another relationship or about to be married.
Great feedback. Therapy is the answer for this, since OP can’t fix this on their own. OP needs to decide to either go through life a mental wreck, or commit to resolving these issues in therapy.
If you’ll do better at your moms, then move back to your moms. If the relationship is making your mental health worse rather than better, then you should end the relationship too, and work on yourself. Sometimes love just isn’t enough.
Do you have cashapp? I will send you $20-30 whichever you need to get gas home without him.
Man shit this is so fucked. She already told me to never mention this to mark and I already though that confronting him would only make it worse right now.
I’m almost 40 too and take tons of photos of my body when I feel good and never send them to anybody.
He cheated on you and is a sexist jerk, not worth your time. I know that's not what you want to hear and that you say you love each other, but someone who loves you doesn't cheat on you and calls you “easy” for doing exactly the same he did (double standards much?). He doesn't respect you – that's the bare minimum in a relationship.
Oh, I didn’t find it clear that you lied to him in the post. There’s nothing to do at this point but be honest moving forward.
I mean….she’s a conservative Christian, what exactly did you expect to happen?
Get over it, you have no right to be any type of upset.
He only wants sex. You are a fwb. The only thing you did wrong was sleeping with him without a commitment. That's how you ended up here. The rest has nothing to do with it. He's a user. You can't get his interest back because you never had it. Block him. Move on.
this is fucked, no one should ever speak to this way, let alone your BF.
She sounds insecure and really likes you, have you tried talking with her about it?
No one is trying to pawn off the kid. I’ve explained that countless times
totally agree with this comment, especially given that she says she's been with “this guy” (not 'my boyfriend' or 'my partner') for only “a couple of months.” If you were married or had been together years, it might feel like more of a 'given' and less of a big deal for him to be masturbating in the bed you share. But given the newness of the relationship, it feels like it's crossing a big line.
First, you have to answer one question: what's the real motive here.
Is she actually worried about feeling like a burden and causing distress? Her self worth would have to be incredibly low if that were the case, as Type 2 Diabetes, while a problem, isn't that big of a deal.
or
Is she going to be making some big life changes to try to deal with her illness and is worrying that these life changes will make the two of you incompatible? Has this diagnosis been a wake up call to her that things need to change, and her relationship is one of them.
or
Has she wanted to break up for a while and is using this as an excuse?
I'd say, the best way to go about this is to try to talk to her. Tell her that you have no issues with dealing with the illness together and you want to support her by any means necessary, and that you really don't want to separate because of this, BUT at the same time respect her wishes no matter what. Don't pressure her into staying, but make it clear that, if she genuinely is scared of being a burden, then her fears are unfounded and you are here to support her.
If she really does want this change, however, respect that. Let things end amicably.
You said he’s made you feel like this for the “millionth time” has this happened before?
Your sex life is your business. I think you're worrying too much about nothing. You don't have to sleep with this girl just because you kissed and are going out on a date. why are worried about being “exposed” when nothing has happened and doesn't have to if you don't want it to.
She lied to your face after you asked her about sleeping with Bob. She is an attention seeker and likes to keep her “friend” around while she is in a relationship so she can both guys chase her. Drop her. She lies and has boundary issues- dealbreaker.
The advice seems to be very specific and consistent
What are OP thoughts now given the advice ?
My mother was a disease so I guess what you are saying is correct from a certain point of view.