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Birth Date: 2003-07-21
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Date: October 9, 2022
Your partner is going way beyond just having a “type”. That shit is just weird…
My SO also prefers blondes and we joke about it all the time but he doesn’t do ANY of those weird behaviours like following blonde girls or giving them attention in public.
It’s gone past being a “preference” and sounds more like an obsession. I would stay with a partner who constantly makes me feel as though my own appearance is inferior.
I'm not able to drink alcohol, and I've never owned recreational drugs, so I don't think that would fly
No, OP did everything for 4 weeks, had no time to unwind thanks to her – which is Abuse – and then finally couldn't bear it anymore. She got PHYSICALLY VIOLENT. That alone Is reason for her to be unfit. Yes, she needs recovery, but so does OP need a bit of quiet time. What however, will stand in court is the Videos of her PHYSICALLY abusing OP, her insulting him in every way, keeping the child from him and not going out of a freaking room. He helped her by doing everything for the entire time and was rewarded by insults every time He needed a 2hrs break AFTER everything was done. I know PPD very Well, however, it does NOT justify verbal Abuse, physical Abuse, or any Form of it. Yes, OP got loud – and then corrected himself immediately. A relationship is never ideal. I also raised my voice at my fiancee. But then I immediately apologised, took time to cool down, and we talked about it. The wife of OP however doesnt do anything productive for resolving the conflict at all.
I am not my friends. And they just complain about daily stuff it's not that they shit talk about them… I dont do that, so its not my business
Your comment makes no sense. I'm not Indian, nor am I obsessive. If you want to talk about kinks that's a different subject.
This just comes off like you're probably looking for any reason to ignore the obvious and keep to what you already believe.
Which would mean you didn't come here for advice. You came just to make a broad statement about an ethnic group
No problem. If you don't ask then you don't know after all
Hahahahahahaaahaa
Have you considered having your dog as travel buddy can ease your nerves better.
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I hope your gf sees this and dumps you herself. The lack of respect you have for your current relationship is rather clear here. Go be single, and quit stringing this poor girl along. She deserves better.
He played you. She played him. They’re both sociopaths who need to erased from your life. I think it’d be a waste of positive energy and inviting negative energy (more dramatics) into your life to report him. If he loses everything, who do you think he’d come after? Sometimes, being all righteous is just for show. You don’t owe your future to anyone by doing the “righteous” thing; you’ll suffer the revenge (by a furious ex) all by yourself. Erase your ex and his equally sociopathic tart from your life—ghost and block.
that’s really annoying mods fix your bs system
Girl get out before this man literally starts hitting you.
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It all takes time. Maybe she isn’t ready to talk to a professional now, but might be in a couple months. Maybe she doesn’t need to talk to someone and she just needs time to get over it. That’s going to be up to her, and your job is to give her what she needs to recover.
I’m no medical professional but you can probably find the answer live. 2 weeks is probably a fine time to go.
Not how paternity tests work.
In some states (I’m not from the US and this is just from a quick Google so could be wrong. Feel free to correct) it says that a pet owner can legally use force to defend their pet from abuse so OP could argue this
There have been Reddit posts in the past about fathers who eat the food set aside for the kids or eat the only food in the fridge the pregnant wife can eat without feeling sick. The women who write in are driven to tears and screaming in frustration over it. This behavior becomes a deal breaker once it's you and your kids he's stealing food from without apologizing or caring about what you eat for dinner.
I think you should just end it. This sense that he has to eat everything in front of him at every meal doesn't seem like it would be something he would be able to change at your request. It seems like a neurosis/compulsion that's out of his control.
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I wish I could 🙁 I’m finishing up college and don’t have the money to move out or I would. She knows she has this control over me and I hate it and now she ruining my relationship because of one trip I do t get it
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How you address this will depend on her. How does she deal with fear, problem solving etc. Does she have self esteem issues, does she worry but do nothing about it.
You can explain that “figure” never gets lost, because everyone has a figure. Ask her to tell you what “having a figure” means to her.
You can talk about her fears and rationalise each one, provide a framework to reimagine what do real people look like. Perhaps use instagram as an example as you can find pictures that people post of the insta picture and the real picture, which are often very different.
If she has self esteem issues and rejects compliments about her figure then focus on her qualities like care, kindness, compassion. Things that she does that impress you and makes her more loveable.
Combating fear with managing it better can also help a lot, take those negative thoughts and divert them to something positive can really change how your brain works and stops people obsessing over what they think has changed.
??? He is extremely toxic for you. He is jealous, insecure and controlling. His attitude will never stop (in case you are wondering if this is due to being long distance). He doesn't trust anybody and his control is how he compensates for his insecurity. If he feels like you aren't submitting to his control then it leads to physical abuse. It's never a good sign when someone gives a boundary of “no opposite gender friends”. I hope you can get him out of your life asap. He doesn't love you in a healthy way, is this your first love?
You don't get to decide that. You don't own the boy, and you can't use him to vet his father's GFs.
I'm sure you're going to do it anyway since there are no consequences.
She isn’t at a point of turning around though, nowhere near it she is growing a baby. The idea that right now she should be making it up to him when she is currently still going through it is ignorant of all the ways pregnancy can mess with a persons hormones and brain function. And if he was going through similar physical and hormonal problems and his wife was posting here insensitive to the stuff he was going through I would say the same thing. When your partner is going through it you just gotta get through it with them sometimes. Then work together afterwards to repair and bridge the gaps and communicate about all of it. When you’re in it for the long haul that’s what you do in situations like this. And you don’t get super dramatic about it during the situation because that doesn’t help anyone, honestly. It alienates the person receiving the dramatic reactions and riles up the person being dramatic about a temporary situation.
Girl. He's a biphobe. Let him go.
He's not a catch.
I heard dating someone then expecting them to change their fundamental ways of life always ends well. I don't care about food. I can eat anything. If someone wants me to start doing cooking lessons just because I'm dating them, they can fuck off.
If your husband suddenly wanted you to do rock climbing and you don't like physical activities, it's his fault. Don't marry someone to change them.
Yeah of course. I wasn't trying to force a nickname. It was just something I noticed he does. I guess I am a lot into him so I wanna feel special to him too? I don't know. It's silly, I guess. ?
Tbh even if it's something funny I'll probably love whatever he ends up calling me. (I'm totally smitten ??)
And thanks, I'll watch the movie whenever I get a chance.
She can express her feelings and insecurities. She does not get to tell you who you can hang with because of her insecurities……
i don't think you did anything worth apologizing for. you had a crush, that was all. there's so many people IN RELATIONSHIPS who have passing crushes.
my parents have been happily married for 20+ years and my mom has the hots for Adam Sandler. it's not a big deal unless you actively pursue someone while you're in a committed relationship. which you didn't even come close to doing IMO.
In my first example, unplanned visit, what would you have your partner do? Call and ask if it was ok? Or just have a good night out with her friends?
It bothers me that people are so woke they always side with the trans gender person without hearing what the other person is saying.
I can completely understand a woman who's been the victim of SA having an aversion to penises. That doesn't make them transphobic. It means they have a very valid reason not to want to be around penises.
Would you have had an issue if this was a completely reassigned trans woman? Or at least one that had not previously hit on you? If you an answer no to that, then you aren't transphobic, you're penis phobic. With valid reasons to be.
Vaginismus. Talk to a doctor, there are ways to help.
From what I see, most comments were posted before the edit. Only very recent ones are acknowledging that. Op knew what she was doing when she left that out the first time lol
Dude. You literally paid for a subscription.
You’re too young to fall into this issue.
Sit her down. Tell her you love her and want her to know this is coming from a place of support.
Then explain, relationships don’t work when there isn’t room for independence and personal growth.
Then explain you’re concerns and if there is fear of codependency. (hint: your making statements that allude to it already)
If you guys want this relationship to work, she has to know how you feel and she has to take time to digest it.
If she gaslights or guilts or attacks your position, then you’ve found out you’re better off moving on.
limerence literally comes with delusions. it completely skews your perceptions. he needs help, not judgment.
Some girls are into it. That's the problem. You guys are just too different. I'm not a fan of anime or hentai but I don't hate on things I'm not interested in.
OP, get yourself a new friend. This one is way past her expiration date.
Thank you
It’s their wedding they can invite who they like and I would not question this.
If you’re not close enough to call or text and they’ve never met your partner I wouldn’t be expecting a plus one.
Why would you celebrate with snakes and not go with bf?
to me this sounds like the medication for sure, it can literally make you feel numb to sexual desire. I think you’re right in trying to get him to discuss this with a doctor
I’m sorry I’m just really nervous
But just because he planned a day with his friend, as you said “once a week”, how are the other 6 days not enough? Why are you automatically “priority 2”? He must be able to have friends? I don’t get it.
What did the therapist say were the areas that needed attention?
((HUGS)) You aren't the doormat, but you are the scapegoat of the family. Your sister made her choices and that isn't on you!!
Is there something about this situation specifically Thy has you concerned? Or is it just gf + dinner with any male = not comfortable?
If it’s the former, address the specific issue. If it’s the latter, that you can still tell her how you feel and if it is your boundary but she is also within her rights to find it off putting or controlling. I would.
Didn't the guy who did research on psychopathy and the brain, found out he was a psychopath? I'm pretty sure he was a normal dude that once he found out explained some of his behaviour and helped him become a better person. I dont remember his name but there was a ted talk I'm pretty sure.
this seems like a really controlling relationship though. i think you are just falling into a traditional dynamic that is really nude to break out of. sit him down and just talk to him, that’s really all you can do.
So who would be paying the rent & transporting the family now? With your Daughter gone.
Girl, you’re almost 40, you should know you deserve better than a guy who treats you like this.
My bf had one partner for 10 years. It was his first girlfriend and she babytrapped him. It was a disaster. After the 10 years he finally broke up with her and with his new found freedom he dated around and more than made up for it and had 20+ partners.
He says he regrets doing that because it was mostly ladies he didn’t even feel attraction for and some had diseases and it was just mostly disappointment and let downs.
You know exactly what have to do.
You have tried talking, tried setting relationship boundaries, and she still is talking to, and seeing this guy.
You are stupid to think that it’s not also physical.
And as you know she is a serial cheater, you should have left after the first time, as you knew then the relationship was over.
I was already on team block then your edit solidified that.
Girl it’s been 6 months. And you’re already trying to sign up for a lifetime of nonsense. Your relationship isn’t perfect it’s new and shiny. And this dude has a really uncomfy relationship with his mother.
Take the clue and run.
Wtf… you're considering not telling your husband? Your mother and her brother don't deserve any protection. Stop it. You're putting your child and all the other children at risk and a pedophile first if you stay quiet.
Well what exactly is your reason for asking? I think the likelihood that a question like that comes off controlling or insecure is kinda high because those are the typical reasons guys are asking.
You could ask her if she has an interest in pursuing being an influencer if she has a big following, IF that is your motivation.
But I think you might need to be honest with yourself and realize you’re maybe judging her to a level that makes it silly to even pursue her
I would suggest keeping a distance from your ex for now then. Adhd people are vulnerable to abuse and toxicity and bipolar are… well… can be extremely draining when unchecked.
Give him a few years to see if he can keep up and sustain it but for now just focus on yourself and your happiness.
So you are more worried about what your friends think than what your gf does. You’re not ready for an adult relationship. You didn’t stay out of it you joined in by defending yourself to your friends thereby throwing your gf under the bus.
Do you guys ever play? Paint? Dance? Draw? Roller skate? Maybe it’s tied to the activities you do together.
The love of my life is a serious guy who lights up when he can be a kid again. Maybe there is something you can do to bring out the playful side without it being fake.
And maybe there needs to be a redrawing of the like, because chronic flirting is a big deal in the long run.
Bro I literally don't understand what you're trying to say… If he doesn't trust his wife that is an issue between OP and his wife, it has next to nothing to do with the friendship she has with (shock horror) another man other than this being a trigger for his insecurity, which again, is his issue to solve. What exactly would be the best answer for him to receive here? Like genuinely I'd like to know how you would advise him because to me it seems that you are just fueling and encouraging his discomfort rather than giving him actual achievable goals. You say cautious, okay what next? Should he say his wife can't spend time with a friend who clearly adds joy to her life? Should he monitor her phone? Ask people she works with to keep an eye out for her? Those all sound like things that would be absolutely catastrophic to her sense of trust for her husband. An actual good piece of advice would be to say that OP needs to acknowledge his insecurity (which he has already done in his post), be communicative with his wife (which he says he already is) and then perhaps start an honest dialogue with her about his concerns with this friendship whilst also trying to fill some of the gaps this friend is currently occupying in his wife's life, buy her books, value her ideas etc. You just seem to be going “OOHH ITS ALL SO SUSPICIOUS!!” How does that help anyone?