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Caroline-ellin, 25 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Caroline-ellin
Date: October 14, 2022
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You are totally valid in wanting to do this, my dear ❤️❤️❤️❤️
YTA You didn’t accidentally do this. You were not in a tough situation at all; you will be now.
2 little bits of my own history that may interest you:
A friend asked me out. I declined. He took it very well – no embarrassment, said it was fine, not to worry about it. We stayed friends. He took it so well that I actually started seeing him in a different way and we ended up seeing each other for a year. When we did split up (just not compatible) it remained amicable.
I fancied someone in my friend group and also did the 'let me hold your arm, I might slip' thing ? – we've now been married 19 years..
2 little bits of my own history that may interest you:
A friend asked me out. I declined. He took it very well – no embarrassment, said it was fine, not to worry about it. We stayed friends. He took it so well that I actually started seeing him in a different way and we ended up seeing each other for a year. When we did split up (just not compatible) it remained amicable.
I fancied someone in my friend group and also did the 'let me hold your arm, I might slip' thing ? – we've now been married 19 years..
If someone wants to break up, you break up. It's a terrible idea to guilt or talk someone into staying with you. It never works. Have you tried couples counseling together?
Read tgat book by Jeannette McCurdy called I'm glad my mom died. Get it at the library if you need to. It's a great book, but the end is kinda boring.
You sound insane
Just do it at home. Win win for both of you
Forget the cheating angle or the no desire angle, and focus on how manipulative her behavior is! Sex shouldn’t be used as a bargaining chip. When it is, then being in the mood or not, being emotionally connected or not, how good you make each other feel, that all no longer matters. It becomes purely transactional. If you want transactional sex, why bother with a gf, you can get that from a sex worker or one night stand.
Then even though she used it as a bargaining chip, she didn’t even follow through. So the least she could do was apologize. But instead she tried to blame you for it and couldn’t even give an example as to why it’s her fault. Dude, no matter how great the relationship was, people can pretend to be all sorts of things early in the relationship. But this here, that’s straight up manipulation, blame shifting and disrespect. No decent partner would pull that shit on you. Ignore this huge flaming red flag at your own risk.
Hey. He chose you, not them. You can see it like this : he was with women whose bodies you describe as perfect, and yet he dated you ? that wouldn't make any sense if he didn't see your body as perfect. Talk to him. You will realize that he doesn't see your body the way you describe it.
Hmm. Maybe tell her if she's bringing it up that often that she should seek therapy for her “traumas”. I know someone that over exaggerates everything and adds lies into her stories, but I also can't tell if she really thinks it happened that way or if she is purposely lying /: whenever someone calls her out on it she just immediately gets beyond pissed.
This response is perfectly worded.
If I was OP I would have reacted the same way, not just finding out your kids are together but CATCHING them in the act ? I’d be traumatized.
But as you say, making sure they know OP loves them unconditionally seems the best step here.
You don't have a boyfriend anymore. Keep that in the back of your hand and start planning your exit.
Does bf take preventive meds before being around puppy and still have allergic rx?
Def report it.
…you’re aware terminating pregnancy is now a felony in many states in the US? It’s a crime to even assist someone in planning etc…so take your bullshit judgements elsewhere. It’s not anyone’s business to inquire why/how & not OP’s job to explain herself. Kick bricks.
I’m sorry but you saying “there’s 100% nothing between them” is very naive. There is clearly something coming from your husbands side at the very least. He had to think of your friend masturbating, then he had to go buy the toys while thinking of her, then he had to conveniently not mentioned them to you while fully aware that’s not right. Do you not see the issue here?
Not in a million years I would think that this is okay if I ever received such things from my best friends husband (I’m super close to them).
If there’s nothing between them then your husband is being creepy and invasive. He may also be testing the waters here. This is no better than if there actually was something to be honest. Having a cheating husband and a friend would be terrible but having a creep husband who thinks of your friend masturbating is not that much better. Either way I would absolutely not let that go. Have a conversation with your friend, see how she feels about it. She may or may not be on it but her reaction may tell you what you need to know. For the most part she should feel at least somewhat embarrassed and a little creeped out by this.
Stop being such a doormat. It wasn’t a mistake or him trying to be one of the girls.
No no no no no no no. You just blamed her for getting raped instead of the assholes who took advantage of her.
Move on.
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I bought her a gift, a necklace. And I am a 25 year old man who has been in two previous relationships. In both of these relationships I was a very caring and loving partner and both of these relationships ended by them breaking up with me and losing interest in me. I figured it’s because I cared too much
I try to see things from her perspective but it doesn’t make any sense at all. Her behavior just seems erratic to me and there’s literally no reason for her sudden change in behavior.
I confessed my feelings to her a while back. I showed initiative. She became nervous and ran away. Then a week later she called me. She was in tears and told me she wanted to be in a relationship with me
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If they cheat with you they will cheat on you
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My experience is if he can't support himself now, he won't be able to when you're his new mommy.
What sort of fun??
You caught him. He tried to lie badly about it, it sounds like total bs. Don't fall for his fuckery
Thanks mate I really appreciate your reply. However I don't think she is trying to cheat, instead she just don't want to give up that part of her freedom and fun. In my eyes that seems like she values more those things then a committed relationship and what she gets out of it. Which is fine if that is what she wants, its just not what I want from my partner.
He’s the one that came to that decision. The path he was on would lead you to being a single mother. Stop feeling guilty and start prioritizing your baby and the family you’re building. He needs to do that too. Time to put drinking with friends and getting hammered on the back burner.
She told me that she did tell him the same thing and that he should apologize but he doesn't think he has anything to apologize for. She wants me to be the bigger person
“All That Is Golden, Is Not Glitter”
There are many things you can like about a person. They can be beautiful to you in many ways. In that sense of the matter, you will come accross a lot of people you deem valuable and worth giving love to.
But in the end, their actions always reveal who they are. And the trick is to put 1 and 1 together here. Their actions have to match their words.
The way someone approaches you can say a lot about a person. And when you start talking about who you are, or what you've seen and been through; you can detect whether or not they are genuinely interested and if they are listening to you or not.
It starts right there. You might not find it a big deal at the start; because maybe you find yourself boring at times or you can understand that some people might find your stories boring…
But hey, ask yourself… If you are truly interested in someone, would you find them boring? 🙂 Would you… tell them you're worth nothing if they said they liked you?
And if you really tread into that more deeply… into the mind of feeling unworthy of something or someone…
Someone who feels unworthy of love is very unlikely to be able to receive love. It can be such a deeply rooted belief that it stands in the way of them feeling loved even when they are being showered with love.
So the first thing to do is encourage them to get the help they need to deal with whatever trauma made them feel this way in the first place. That way, they can begin to understand that they are worthy. That is their work to do. Not yours.
Be kind, compassionate and understanding. Do not take it personally if they push you away by actions or words after you’ve done something nice for them. This is their defense mechanism kicking in.
Keep healthy boundaries. Understand that it is not your responsibility to save this person. It is their responsibility to save themselves.
Do not lose yourself in trying to rescue them
When they date a pregnancy they go from the date of her last period starting.
If you two havent had sex since splitting and youre sure it was 17 weeks ago. There is no physical way this kid can be yours.
Demand paternity once child is born if you have to but this kid isnt yours if dates are correct.
I appreciate that you think you know my marriage better than I do, and add the caveat that if I don’t agree you know more I’m lying or delusional. Let’s me know straight away that I’m dealing with a narcissist. Makes this easy as I now have no expectation that you will understand any of this and I can move on.
My spouse and I certainly have not done worse to each other than manipulation, gaslighting, and physical assault. Flat out no.
“she had a mini-breakdown and flailed around some when he put his arms around her. This is minor, minor stuff in terms of what can go wrong in a relationship.”
You misread completely, the “flailed around some” is in the post as “started hitting me,” and he didn’t put his arms around her until after she stopped. She did not “flail” in response to him putting his arms around her, but good job blaming him for getting hit.
OP directly described this incident as “she started crying and hitting me and screaming at me.” You described that as “this is minor, minor stuff.”
I don’t describe one spouse hitting another as minor minor stuff. Best of luck to you since that’s your outlook.
If she's willing to do that she's not your best friend
Appreciate it, I’m assuming the honeymoon” phase is over and that’s maybe another reason to this, been trying not to stress it and this is my first relationship so I’m obviously still learning, ty kind sir
If you know that, than stop making your feelings her problem. Who gives a fuck if you want to take everything back or pretend you were manipulated. Who the fuck cares. It doesn’t change the fact that you did what you did and she doesn’t want you in her life. Why can’t you respect her wishes for fucking once and leave her alone? She doesn’t want you in her life. Sure, you might miss her and she might even miss you. But she still decided she doesn’t want you as a friend. So be a good human being for fucks sake and respect her wishes. Leave her alone.
You didn’t just trip and land on his dick.
that sounds like a very reasonable solution, i didn't even think of that. thank you. the only issue i can see is that we did already sign a contract with a venue and i'm not sure if we can break it :/ but i will look into it.
Exactly. There are like million cheating stories here on reddit where cheaters say “he was in a bad place with his wife and one thing led to another and we slept”
Red flags all around. Break up!
leave him. leave him now.
Believe what he’s saying. He doesn’t value you. He doesn’t see you as a permanent commitment and “nothing lasts forever.”
Your partner should make you feel safe and cherished. It sounds like he does neither for you. Do you not believe you deserve that?
Probably. I wouldn’t use sex to decide who to trust around my child. The two aren’t really related. But trusting that person to watch you child for 12 full days is a lot.
I’m curious about this:
if I leave it screws her over because she wouldn’t be able to afford to online and go to school.
Am I correct in assuming that you currently live! together and you’re carrying the majority of your cost of living?
Get rid of the stress. By that I mean your complete jerk of a boyfriend.
Leave now before you cheat because you need something different and blah blah. There’s nothing wrong but if you drag her along until you find someone you deemed better, you will be TA.
It isn't..
Reddit has posts of childhood friends who stopped being friends after one of them got pregnant or had kids. Sometimes after the wedding.
Reading his post genuinely upset me, because I was in a similar position and even if I had hated my ex. I couldn't do that to him.
Reddits shown me that a lot of people are in relationships with people who either don't love them, or prioritise their selfish wants and needs over their partners wants and needs.
If you're with someone who is happy to put you in a situation like that, or could watch you worrying and stressing like that and still only care about what they want. Then they don't care about you the way you deserve.
Because of the potential language issue, why exactly did you break up with her?
He’s saying that he’s actively losing attraction for her. Which means that he had an initial attraction towards her that is going down due to her lifestyle. Shes getting complacent and letting herself go which is unattractive to him. It’s inappropriate to tell someone that their feelings are the problem