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Room for online sex video chat CocoJadeX
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Date: December 9, 2022
This is just a really sad post.
You are afraid of telling your bf that you have an STI that he gave you. You think he will blame you, yet you don't want to break up with him.
Why?
For now, get the treatment, and you have to tell him. He needs treatment, too, and all of his other partners need treatment. DO NOT have sex with him until he has completed his treatment.
This is a dangerous relationship for you. He's having unprotected sex with others. He doesn't care about you, hon. I'm really sorry.
DO NOT RESPOND. Troll posts this every day, multiple time.
I agree. until you heal your trauma, then she can try dating again because unless they can communicate in a healthy way, they shouldn't be dating. It's not the man's job to mind read or ro fix her. She needs be an adult in a healthy relationship not turn it into a toxic one. It's not fair to the guy; he's human too.
Honey. Breaking up is not a mutual decision or a democratic thing he has a saying in. If you break up with him there is nothing he can do to stop you! So: tell him again that you break up with him and that you need time for yourself. Het your stuff together, go somewhere where he has no access to and block him everywhere. Focus on yourself, seek help, get better. You can do this!
Hence there's 0.01% chance of that
Yeah 8 years not in a relationship because he was screwing around ?
I’m a firm believer no means no but I’m getting this that only your no matters and she’s supposed to say yes to whatever you want.
I sure as shit hope you don’t push her to do things she’s said no to but somehow i get this vibe you also expect her no’s to become a yes for your sake
Well the intention of those pictures were most likely not to get masturbated to. The fact that it is being used that way is very disturbing. I think sexualizing every person you know is a problem since he clearly doesn’t have boundaries for these girls. Personally if I found out my best friend masturbated to an innocent picture I posted I would definitely not talk to him.
You said to start slow before she pegs him, it seems pegging and the fake cum is a nude limit for him but he is okay with the other stuff and he most likely won’t change him mind.
Maybe express how you’re feeling to him.
Tell him that although you really like him, his lack of initiation is making you feel like he may not be as into you and you don’t want to be strung along. Then directly ask him to reach out or try to plan things himself more if she’s truly interested.
Maybe he is not that into you? Maybe he does like you but is busy or bad at planning?
Hopefully when you ask him he will be straight forward with you either way. Best of luck
So many women’s hate for their ex is greater than the love for their kids . Some people don’t deserve to procreate
I'm wondering as well since OP felt guilty about LISTENING to pornographic audio while visualizing SO. Did this really cross a boundary with authenticity? Or is OP manifesting a reaction to something SO would actually find flattering?
Blame them for believing your husband? Like you believed he was faithful for so many years?
I'm a professional seamstress and this post had me laughing so nude my kids came and asked what was so funny! Who is this fool you married?!? It can take years to become a proficient sewer and years beyond that to learn how to tailor. Tailoring is an art! If those pants truly aren't his size you might have to go so far as to unpick them entirely, if they can't just be altered, (leaving you with the cut cut pattern pieces), trim those pieces down to size, then resew them back together meaning you basically made him brand new pants out of recycled fabric. He's thought it through but came to the wrong conclusion. I'm very glad you got a sewing machine out of it though. It's better for him to just pay to have the pants altered or tailored by a professional unless he's willing to wait years.
I'm sorry but what do you mean the girl is looking bad?
I see a therapist weekly, exactly because I don’t want to ‘burden’ my friends with my shit. I lucky to be able to afford it and I know not everyone can. It sounds like you’re active and that’s good for mental health. I guess I don’t know what it is you feel you’re lacking from life?
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With technology, good insurance and no outstanding medical/reproductive issues, women can have children well into their 40s. No, it may not be ideal but won't you rather take your time finding the right partner? Your bf is a liar and I don't know how you can ever come back from such a betrayal. Move on, vet better and pay attention to red flags. It's never too late to start over.
OAN: It's the loud clock ticking in women's ears that get us in situations like this. When we're so focused on the 'end goal', we miss red flags glaring us in the face. The red flags were his lavish spending habits.
She's your best friend and likely you are hers too. She was there for you in those nude times because she loves you. She cares for you. She also felt safe with you. I hope you both get therapy but I'm sure there is a lot of love between you two.
Save your attentions for men who welcome it, and reflect it back at you. Continuing with this guy seems like a giant waste of time.
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What is wrong with the way things are now ? It sounds like you pay child support and see him as much as you can ? I don't think she should have to move away from her support system and his …. Is it just your family who think things need to change or is it you or is it your baby mama ?
Tbf, removing tattoos on black people hurts a shit ton more than white people, but that has to do with physics and lights and shit I'm not too qualified to talk about. Surgeon could totally be telling the truth but has the exact same likelihood to be talking out of his ass
You should blame her. Being drunk isn’t some get out of jail free card that lets you do whatever you want. If you kill or rape someone, is that okay as long as they’re drunk? Of course not.
Your friends mom is a predator. Stay away from her and tell your parents what she’s done. She’s probably done this to a lot of your friends, and maybe worse. You need to tell your parents about this. And stop going around your friends creepy gross mom.
Some people like to keep their private life private. I'm one of them, I never posted my bf of 6yrs and I loved him more than anything and would never do anything to hurt him, I only left because he cheated. It's like some celebrities never post pics of their kids…she's got 10k followers, she's probably active to keep/increase the audience, not everyone needs to know about her private life. If there are no other red flags, I wouldn't read too much into this
There's no gaining that trust back. I think you should move on. She's literally sleeping with someone she calls her family and completely lied to you about him.
STOP PAYING until he agrees to at least 50/50. Otherwise, stop paying!!! If you being together would be important to him he's be getting a room on his dime. It's only “important” to him if you pay and then he ends up not being able to make it… Stop being used by him. You are not his priority!
STOP PAYING until he agrees to at least 50/50. Otherwise, stop paying!!! If you being together would be important to him he's be getting a room on his dime. It's only “important” to him if you pay and then he ends up not being able to make it… Stop being used by him. You are not his priority!
What have I said that’s factually inaccurate?
With the sentence you gave to say, it implies I’d be fine booking the train that is not likely to go ahead if my gf decides to. Why should I be okay with that decision that will cause both of us to miss out? In your opinion I should be fine deferring completely to my gf and letting her book a train which will end up losing both of us money and means we’ll miss the event we want to go to.
His “mother’s house”
Actually that’s the best part. It makes breaking up so much easier.
Be happy you have seen this side of him now and not before you are further entangled
States usually will not waive parental rights unless there is someone else to take responsibility, so lf he was married and his wife wanted to adopt the child. I would not at all be surprised if you get hit with child support, especially as he is struggling. Sooner or later he will realize that money will help him hire help with the child. You want to act basically as though you were a surrogate for a single dad, but in reality you are a non-custodial parent and if he has 100% physical and legal custody your child support will be calculated based on your income.
I see what you mean! It’s just that I’m very hurt and taken aback by this 180 so that’s why I’m thinking about it 🙁
Do you know for a fact that the 40-year-old is greatly experienced by comparison? There's an 11 year difference and she's nearly 30. If she were 20, I'd be more concerned but most people have matured by 25.
What do you get out of this relationship?
Don't patronize me. The option is there, and it needed to be made known. It is a court decision, and like I said. Where I live, and I looked it up, as long as he knows all the repercussions of giving up his rights, and fulfills a few other things, then yeah, judge will sign it over.
“My first reaction to her was that she was sexually abused. I support her all the time. I just don’t know what to do when she starts to get uncomfortable. Told me she chose to do it but I said he didn’t have to let you. Knowing he was an adult”
OP's instincts are right on. He shouldn't just work on that in therapy, especially if this guy still has access to teens. Maybe you don't have a daughter and that's why you don't care about that aspect, but that's the reason I think you're advice is bad for OP's long term mental health and the safety of teenage females in the community.
You should give birth however you want. But I'd really recommend having another plan in place in case you need or want a doctor or an epidural. Also have the financial aspects of your birthing process in your head along with what happens if you end up having an emergency trip to the ER. As for your food choices I'm unsure of the solution here. Because I imagine if you were religious and not eating specific things that the majority of people including your husband would respect that (anyone who doesn't is an asshole). However if you were religious and he didn't share those beliefs and didn't want your child sharing those beliefs or wasn't willing to support this to his family then I'd recommend not having children with that man. I know veganism isn't a religion but it's the closes comparison I can make.
The way you end it is to break contact. You have to do that, and until you do, this will drag on.
He doesn’t respect your autonomy if he’s insisting you have feelings that you don’t. If you do have those feelings but want to move on, the starting point is enforcing a boundary.
I guarantee it will be impossible to be successful with someone else when you’re still wrapped up in this guy’s life. Maybe you could be friends one day. But you’ve moved, and it sounds like you want to move on. Try being direct in one message or conversation, and then block him.
Refusing to live with parents is a privilege for those who earn it. Go talk to these parents, tell them their daughter is threatening suicide and explain that you need to get her out of your home. Enlist them to help you. Her mental health problems aren't your fault nor is it your responsibility to get her the help she needs. If she has “nothing” then her life is already “completely ruined” and she needs to get into treatment then rebuild herself. This will be easier for her to do under the roof of her family than camping out with a guy who wants her gone.
Exactly. Having an eating disorder is not a shortcoming. He's trying to level the plane to something she's nowhere near. Op, do not listen to your STBX boyfriend. Run.
It could be from awhile back. It could be from just the bight before. Kinda up to you to figure it out. Although I think a 26yr old man and a 21 yr old girl are at two different points in life and I fear he’a taking advantage of you more than anything.
Thank you everyone for your advice and your thoughts!! I felt reassured after reading the nice comments. I wanted to update you all that i talked with my boyfriend again last night and got so much more clarity.
One thing that i didn’t mention (that i didn’t realize was a factor in his asking) was that I’ve been with women before and i am sexually attracted to them. My boyfriend said he thought that it would be something i would enjoy too since i like women and that he doesn’t want to just have sex with another girl, but wanted something that could be enjoyable for us both. He also said that he wouldn’t want to have a threesome with another man because he wouldn’t like to see another man’s penis inside me (lol) and i said that’s exactly how i feel about him with another girl. He said he understands and he doesn’t ever want to do anything to hurt my feelings and he reassured me that he didn’t bring it up bc I’m not enough and he never wants to make me feel that way. ❤️
I feel so much better and my boyfriend is great! Thank you all!
I can see your point and I appreciate your honesty even though it's a little tough to take right now.
I'm going to try therapy for myself and suggest at least couples therapy and see how it goes.
As it stands, she's not given him money in almost 4 years (in 5 days it'll be 4 years to the day) and she's not had any one on one contact with him in at least 2 years, maybe more. As of late, she's not interacted with her family very much except for one of her nieces. She didn't even visit with them when we were there for Christmas (my family lives in the same town). I asked if she was going to visit with them and she said no, that they have their own traditions now, whatever that means. Maybe she was just making an excuse.
She realizes her family is f'd up because they have the same “let's forget you're a criminal and act like nothing happened” attitude with her other nieces husband but that's a whole other story. That one is about drugs and stealing.
You are an adult. If you want to go to college and can pay for it, you can do so. Your mom has no say in it. In fact, she is trying to control you and keep you at home with her. She doesn't want you on your own and out of her hands at all. She's using religion as a weapon to keep you afraid to make your own plans and a success of your life.
Don't let her do this to you. Make your plans. You are not going to hell because you go to college. Your mother is in the wrong here.
I think your concept of “living with parents at 30” is pretty incorrect, despite everything else.
That said, the DJing and age gap would be a much bigger issue of concern for me. I won't say never date a DJ–in fact, there are a few things working in his favor. He is smart enough not to waste money on his own place when he wants to focus on his DJing business–that is more of a mark of maturity to me than your take on that. He also has another, albeit part-time, position, so he seems to be aware that he is going to have to work harder to make ends meet with two jobs if necessary. Those are good things. But how is he going about it?
Is he paying his bills and saving what money he can or else investing it in his business in a smart way? Is he “living with his parents” meaning that he lives there, but he manages his own affairs, helps them out as needed, and ultimately works as part of a family group to keep everyone afloat–or is he “living with his parents” where he mooches off of them frequently, they take care of his daily needs while he “works on his art” and smokes weed half the day?
And yeah, you're 21 and can date who you like, but 21 and 26 are often at different places in life. Are you really sure you want that?
That's fair man. Has she said that she is going to set boundaries with this person?
As a white person I agree with you’re comment – they’re so naive
Seeing your ages, just move on. You aren't a mind reader, and she was intending on being a no show. Over a coffee date? I hope it wasn't her first date, lol, but it sounds like it. Between the match, texting, and posting/reading – you've probably expended more time than the date would last.
Next time, check in a day prior, at least if cancelation happens, you won't be ready to walk out the door. Good luck, dating's a bear.
The solution is whether or not you're determined to stay living with your parents, or are willing to move out and start a life with your fiance/wife.
She's not being unreasonable, but it's up to you to determine whether staying living with your parents is more important that your life with your partner.
Age gap…strikes again.
Of course. He's dating a 25 year old because a 30 year old women would have cursed is ass the fuck out by now.
And he knows it.
But look at you tolerating his bullshit.
Why didn’t you disclose in the post that you had caught him messing around with other girls before? God damn you know what needs to happen next.
Fair enough…. I’m just wondering why you are so keen on staying with this man given the circumstances. You posted here for help and are quite defensive in your replies, which is another clue that there is some shame going on here. Whatever is going on with him is no excuse to abuse you. Your very young children and you may be hanging in there for now… but this abusive situation you are choosing to be in will absolutely take a toll and your lives won’t be as good as they could be in a healthy and happy home (especially when your babies become more aware of the screaming fights their Mommy and Daddy are regularly having). A happy and healthy home is not what you or your spouse are providing at this time- I understand this is nude to read but it’s the truth. Research on Google or get a parenting book how parents having these kinds of issues and fights impacts development if you question this information.
It also appears you are back tracking on everything you said in your post and are not really open to any advice or able to make any changes at this time. As I said before you already know what you should do… and something is holding you back from doing what is best for your children and yourself. Best of luck to you.
You shouldnt have left the apartment, you should have kicked her out.
If this is real divorce and then therapy but not couples only for OP
It's best he gets pulled out of college. I had a freshman year friend end his life, and I wish his parents did the same thing. College can be massive turmoil in your life and you never know how someone is going to react.
It’s wild that your husband thinks that you’re so easily influenced that you’ll do stuff just because your friends are doing it. Does he often treat you as if you don’t have a mind of your own?
The situation that Sami is in doesn’t sound healthy or happy and it sounds like you can clearly see that. I don’t understand how your husband can look at that situation and think “yes, this is clearly something that my wife would want to emulate”.
It’s wild that your husband thinks that you’re so easily influenced that you’ll do stuff just because your friends are doing it. Does he often treat you as if you don’t have a mind of your own?
The situation that Sami is in doesn’t sound healthy or happy and it sounds like you can clearly see that. I don’t understand how your husband can look at that situation and think “yes, this is clearly something that my wife would want to emulate”.
Don't tell him until your memory comes back…maybe you didn't have sex but just got undressed and went to sleep. If you don't remember it happening then it didn't happen. Don't take another person's word for it until you know ?
From all your replies, I'm starting to think you were never in a relationship and just some crazy stalker.
I think that we should hear from her on those “qualities” you are working on changing. Or you tell us specifically what you are working on changing. Because she has the right to do whatever she wants and at her age it's normal to want to be an independent entity. But also, maybe she's had a problem with your “qualities” this whole time because they aren't actually qualities, they are pathological bad habits or something she's asked you to stop doing for years and now that she's left is the only time you decide to finally start working on them.
If you want this relationship, you gonna have to confront her about what she is doing.
She has cheated, she betrayed your trust and for the relationship to work again she is gonna have to work up that trust back. In the beginning, you will have doubts, anxiety, and question if she can be trusted again, but if you really want to be with her you need to open the possibilities for her to work and she is the one who has to choose to put down her will into fixing the damage she has cost.
Be firm on boundaries. She crossed a line here, now she has to make sure to not do it again. You can't force her to do anything, but communication is key. She has to be honest about everything too. If they have met? Was it only text? Has it been phone calls? She needs to come clean, if not she is holding back on you and reconciliation won't happen.
I wish you luck
Which ones do you want to know? ISO? Diafragma? Shutter time? Or are you more interested in the afterproduction color balance? Adjustments or sharpening etc.?
Hell I'm almost 28 and the thought of dating someone under 25 gives me the heebie jeebies, what on earth is OP on??
Your friend is seriously creepy and has crossed many boundaries. This was an engineered excuse to see your wife nude and in erotic poses.
Your comment doesn't even fit this thread, the problem isn't with OP's wife having male friends, or OP not trusting her.
The problem is her stripping nude for a friend. This is a clear boundary overstep in the vast, VAST majority of relationships. And if somebody isn't sure their partner would be ok with it, they should fucking ask them about it before doing it, not surprise them.
Rocket science to some of y'all apparently.
How did you get to hanging out with your friends? Totally separate issue. You aren’t happy in your relationship. Leave.
Yes, I told him about one guy. A few days after our first meet up and then I told him about the second guy 2 months later
Cheating is cheating. Doesn't matter if it's with the same sex. And she hides it from you. Just wait until you have kids and she tells you she's turned gay and wants to move in with her girlfriend and take the kids with her. I assume you didn't sign up for a poly relationship so why should you accept it.
My favorite is “And your brain is obviously underweight, but commenting on that would impolite”
I do not know why, but reddit does not show me the ten comments it says there are. I can only see one which i've responded to. But I still want to thank everyone who took the time to answer me, I wish I could answer you back too.
There's only one thing you need to do before leaving him. Kick him in the balls. Very, Very, nude. Even if he gets off on that. Make sure it hurts and he can't walk right for a while. Then leave.
You. Were. Raped. It's. Not. Your. Fault.
He's an asshole and you deserve better.
I wouldn't know, from your deep experience why don't you tell us?
A report was filed and we’re waiting for the lab results. This guy lived in the same building and was a neighbor invited to the party. It’s been 4 months and my thought have been clouded and that’s why I’ve come here, for some clarity and reality
Bills gotta get paid first.
He's not crying because of you or anything you did, he's sad because he feels guilty about being gay. And that's on his family/church/community/whoever made him believe that being gay was a bad thing and that he should deny that part of who he is.
Hopefully it's something he can get over, but that's going to require a lot of self-reflection on his part, and probably some therapy. There's not much you can do beyond being there for him as a friend if he ever is able to really open up.
Did you marry a mail order bride? It’s just such an odd dynamic.
She is only in it for the long haul if you can single handedly sustain her lavish lifestyle. To me that seems like enormous pressure and not a great example of an equitable relationship.
It would unnerve me to. Add in the toxicity of comparing you to her abusive ex and I would be running for the door.
yikes. get as far away from this BULLY as you can.
You do not deserve that. People make mistakes and their partners are supposed to reassure them and make them feel better. The fact that he did not do that, and actually made you feel worse, means that he is not a good person and does not understand how to be in a relationship.
Don’t feel bad. Don’t apologise. Don’t try to explain. Just let him go. He’s horrible!
It’s only been 6 months and there’s already this much drama… no-just no, it’s not worth the drama
Calling your own kid “it” is wild bro.
She had said she developed a conviction, which made her feel it was wrong to have sex before marriage
It appears all intimacy is off the table
Our careers as the same, we work together, and there hasn't been anything unusual which is alarming with her behaviour or phone use
Why would you have a kid if you have ADHD?