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Cory raine, 19 y.o.
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Date: April 3, 2023
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Please tell me your gf isn’t so naive as to think the bridesmaid and her SO wanted to hang out with her without an ulterior motive!
You don't get over it….you start over❤ with someone ELSE.
I’m always a fan of saying ‘break up’ if someone cheats. However, some people get through it and it never happens again. Some people are able to cope with it and still have happy lives. I think that your situation is one of those situations where it’s possible because she came clean to you immediately, feels remorseful, is willing to cut off the affair partner, and it wasn’t another man.
People will say it’s the same thing but I don’t think it is and I’m a bi woman. It’s still cheating but I don’t think it would feel as horrible of a betrayal. Also whether or not it ‘should’ be the same is kind of irrelevant right now. Let’s not make your feelings about if it’s homophobic or not. It is different because this woman pretended to be her friend and crossed boundaries using the ‘we are both women’ thing. If it were a man, it never would have got that far because she would have known to put up boundaries or cut them off. This happened because she let her guard down around a friend and their friendship was slowly turning into something else. I bet she didn’t realize until she cheated and then she felt really stupid for not realizing earlier. I’m not saying this to excuse her at all, I’m just explaining how the gender of the person makes a difference.
You don’t need to decide right away. If anything, use your wife’s support right now. If you decide you can’t continue the relationship, it’s okay to do that months from now.
I’m always a fan of saying ‘break up’ if someone cheats. However, some people get through it and it never happens again. Some people are able to cope with it and still have happy lives. I think that your situation is one of those situations where it’s possible because she came clean to you immediately, feels remorseful, is willing to cut off the affair partner, and it wasn’t another man.
People will say it’s the same thing but I don’t think it is and I’m a bi woman. It’s still cheating but I don’t think it would feel as horrible of a betrayal. Also whether or not it ‘should’ be the same is kind of irrelevant right now. Let’s not make your feelings about if it’s homophobic or not. It is different because this woman pretended to be her friend and crossed boundaries using the ‘we are both women’ thing. If it were a man, it never would have got that far because she would have known to put up boundaries or cut them off. This happened because she let her guard down around a friend and their friendship was slowly turning into something else. I bet she didn’t realize until she cheated and then she felt really stupid for not realizing earlier. I’m not saying this to excuse her at all, I’m just explaining how the gender of the person makes a difference.
You don’t need to decide right away. If anything, use your wife’s support right now. If you decide you can’t continue the relationship, it’s okay to do that months from now.
Ur not really as good at giving me advice as you think you are
F-
Next time you're alone with him and he starts in on you record him. She's never going to believe you without proof. If your all hanging out together and you find yourself without her turn on a recording device even if he doesn't immediately start doing it so you have it ready. All then all you'll have to do is wait.
But honestly I would sit her down and tell her you're starting to reconsider if you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't believe you when you say you're being bullied. And that you'll not stand being called a liar. Cause she just sugar-coated it but that's what she was saying when she said you were “embellishing”. If after 3 years of solid relationship you're not awarded the benefit of the doubt that you wouldn't lie about something like this then you don't feel like she'll ever be on your side when big issues come up and you can't be with someone who doesn't have your back.
If you can't ever trust her then yes, leave her. If you ask what is reasonable in such dituation however, this is a different matter.
She was drunk, this I can guarantee can make people do things they would never do while sober. People also react differently to being drunk.
Personally, I don't think this alone should lose your trust to her permanently. Your trust to her staying faithful while heavily drunk though, should be lost forever. With that said as long as she agrees to stop getting drunk it should be fine. If she really likes it you could still get drunk in a safe environment only when in safe environment with you, and only close friends present.
There is no reason to distrust her sober self so far, right? If she agrees to stay sober outside of very specific situations, I would try to get over this, and give her the benefit of the doubt. Stop going through her messages, and closely control her behaviour in general. Perhaps therapy and/or couple counselling may be able to help in this.
I’m sorry, but WTF is wrong with your BF, and who does he feel the need to trivialise your pain or discomfort with idiotic arguments?
My husband and I have been together for 6 years. He is as strong and healthy as they come and has only been sick twice since we started dating, while I suffer from chronic pain and seem to catch every single virus going around. Still, he has never – NOT EVEN ONCE – been so callous or dismissed my pain “because other people have it so much worse”. If I am unwell, he usually just herds me over to the sofa, gets me meds and a blanket/heating pad/cup of tea/box of tissues/anything else I might need, and picks up on my slack until I am better, regardless of whether it takes two hours or a week for me to be back on my feet. And guess what – that’s what I do when he’s unwell, because that’s how you take care of your partner when they are not feeling well!
OP, if I were you I would seriously consider whether this is the kind of relationship you want to stay in long-term. Will he be like this every time you are unwell, for any reason? What if you get pregnant? And what about a serious illness later down the line, like (god forbid) cancer? Will he legitimise your pain then?
Report this to the police, he raped you. I’m so sorry op. This wasn’t your fault, you said no and it hurt. He just didn’t care and should be reported for this.
If she's bad enough off that a wellness check would ruin her career aspirations, she shouldn't be a cop.
Cut her off. I know this would be the hardest possible choice, but seriously. Call in a health check, tell emergency services where she is and that she's threatening suicide, and cut her off. Block her for at least a month.
If she needs help, the wellness check will help her. If she's doing it to manipulate you, the wellness check will show her that you're not playing her game anymore, and she can't get her narc fuel from making you jump to her whims. Either way, tell her you love her and you'll talk to her on May 15th and just mute her ringer until then.
You can't love her out of this. You could be there every moment of every day for the next 30 years and she'll still be miserable, because it is nothing to do with how much you love and support your sister, and everything to do with her own personal brainworms. If she's being manipulative and you jump when she says, all she will learn is that saying it works. If she actually commits suicide, you could not have stopped it. No amount of love in the world can pull someone out of that pit. Only professional help and her willingness to do the work will break her free. Not you.
About your spouse of many years?????? Are you insane?
I think you know the answer, and that it's that yer not in best spot for a wee one according to you.
Why do you feel betrayed? (I’m not telling you you’re wrong for feeling that way, I just want to hear more about why and what you think)
Its been 4 weeks, you don't love him. This is some serious red flags, I would tell you to run or at the very least slow down and be super careful.
My cousin lives in Portland, OR, and people constantly post how it was burned to the ground by rioters. My cuz and I laugh about it all the time. I think one building had some fire damage by little shits who wanted to cause trouble, but the city is gigantic and still completely intact (and beautiful).
thankfully M isn't a real person, as this is a completely made up story by some really lonely individual
No, I haven’t yet. I’m not even sure if I even wanna ask about it because of men always lying to me in the past about not being with other women, etc.
Bro, she’s a narcissist and threatening suicide is a way for her to have control over you. Major red flag. Break it off then send an ambulance to her place, but make sure you explain why you need one sent.