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  1. As a father I stand by my previous suggestion that you refuse this request outright. In my opinion it isn't right to bring a child into the world knowing with certainty that you cannot be the father they deserve. I'm sure your partner would be a fine mother but she can do that without your genes and frankly I think her wishes are coming from a wholy, though understandably, selfish place. Whatever you choose to do, I hope for success for your partner and peace for you in your days to come.

  2. She cheats on you during a low time and now wants comfort from you during hers? Real psycho. Did she even acknowledge her part in the divorce?

  3. Why does everyone here get so worked up about the time? Why does that matter? The main thing is she was trying to contact her ex, after agreeing not to.

    She clearly wanted to call for a reason and she isn’t be upfront with it.

  4. The only way I'd be 19 again, is to go back with the knowledge I have now. Boy would things turn out soooo differently.

  5. u/_throwaway9214, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

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  6. u/RevolutionaryFuel88, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

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  7. Setting a reasonable ultimatum is not being a bully. If you don't like that word, then set an “expectation.” The expectation is that they participate in your marriage and family as a partner. Period. If they don't, you cannot continue to shoulder the full weight of the burden. It's simply not sustainable. Make your partner understand that.

  8. This is why you date and don’t marry right away. No reason to create drama, just file this under a yellow flag and see if it’s a pattern.

  9. My husband is 41 and we have a 2 month old! I don’t think it’s odd to have children in your late 30s and early 40s. OP is making excuses to justify his choice. It’s his right to not want more children but shouldn’t shame older parents. We have a 10 year old too, lol, and I honestly think we are more ready now to have a baby then we were in our late 20s and early 30s!

  10. I purchase men's tshirts that are extremely oversized for when I'm too cold and don't want to sleep in the nud (99.9%) however my husband knows that I'm purchasing them because womens ones are never oversized enough.

  11. It sounds silly to say you’re looking at Shane differently because “he can’t protect you”. I think what you really mean is that you’re turned off by him after seeing him get his ass handed to him.

  12. My ex-wife is diabetic, and was also diabolical in the mornings. I finally had a talk with her and told her, “When you yell at me and cuss me out every morning over nothing, I feel crushed and like I have to work harder to start my day. When you behave like that, you’re setting us both up for disadvantage. I don’t want to hear anything out of you in the morning other than what’s necessary because you can’t be pleasant.”

    It didn’t stop her from being a raging asshole the rest of the time, but I had peaceful mornings for awhile.

  13. No. If she's been prescribed Adderall for ADD she needs that to be able to function in life. Whether that means your relationship is affected is utterly secondary to her need to be able to operate effectively. You use the word “selfish” and that would be the correct one if you'd be willing to make her struggle just to keep a teenage relationship together.

  14. Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if he met someone where he lives now. I think he’s trying to make you out as the bad guy to justify the breakup and he’s going to pop up later with someone he met out there.

    It’s naked but you need to move on. Marine who would do this is not worth keeping and better he goes now then when you have children and joint assets.

    I promise you will eventually look back at this time and laugh.

  15. I think it’s just a shock, because reality has finally kicked in that you’re both moving on, but that you’ll ultimately get over it quickly.

    Separately, you’re just not thinking logically. You said he treated you poorly. You’re now asking how he could be good to her but not you. They just became official. You have no idea how he is or how he’ll be.

  16. You won't see your side. You date people who share your values and respect your boundaries. She just wants to fuck around and is not happy with your boundaries that restrict her from doing all her friends.

  17. Used to do something like that but it's a lot more work and communication. Now I don't need to think about it.

  18. WTF is wrong with you? She didn’t cheat on you, she was sexually assaulted. You can’t trust or forgive her because she was the victim of a crime? Talk about victim blaming.

    Thank goodness she finally ditched you, I hope she finds someone who supports her instead of making her trauma about themselves.

  19. “I believe it’s important for couples” in belief we would come up with a compromise. But she took it badly and judged me for wanting it like its my only intention of being with her.

    Yeah I think this makes her a nutjob, getting angry with your partner for saying they think sex is important for couples shows she has the maturity level of a lemon, and will lash out like a child instead of having civil conversation.

  20. She's hoping we'll give her the magic combination of words that will make him respect her & their relationship.

  21. “I'm actually really dumb”

    Don't worry… we are all idiots. some are just better at hiding it.

    “what to do with my life?”

    you're 18… Focus on “I have a lot of things coming towards me in the future but I feel like if i keep going i might need to forget some of my dreams”. School? Job? Mountains of men your own age that will be supportive of you and not controlling groomers?

    What do you want in the future? probably a career or some goals. Put those front and foremost and that'll eat a few years no doubt. I didn't get my career until 30 and did a lot of wandering around before then so don't feel like it's too late or that you have to figure it out.

  22. Well no shit, you stay with someone that cheats and lies and manipulates you then youre shocked that he keeps lying and manipulating you??? Like what advice do you want us to give you? You do understand that this isnt something you can fix. You can go to therapy all you want but it isnt going to fix your bf's issues lol. You don't want to leave him then just deal with it because thats what he's always going to do and you will never be able to trust him. Sorry if I sound mean but some people here have absolutely no self respect. Whats the point of going to therapy if you keep letting people treat you like shit. Wake up, you're a grown ass woman

  23. She’s being pretty unreasonable. Have you tried asking her point blank what her expectation was or what she wanted you to do in that situation? Try removing the assumptions and understand if there’s a compatibility issue here. “I know she gets upset she is alone” She’s 28, why can’t she be alone?

  24. It honestly sounds like he wrote this as a coverup in the hopes that his GF would find it and assume what he wrote is the truth hahahaha

  25. He may have things on his mind that are stressing him out because may not be comfortable talking about it. Just let him know you are there for him but understand if he isn't ready to talk and that it's just making you feel as if he's fallen out of love with you.

    It is possible you are out if the honeymoon phase and entering into the stabilized phrase which is a point of time relationships require even more tending to.

    As far as falling out of love actions, they can vary. But in my experience, you might see things like excessively annoyed at everything you do both great for small. You no longer care as much about things you use, example going from minding if a girl hits on him to the extreme you wish he would find a mistress and leave you the heck alone. These are not surefire ways to tell, but I have observed these to be possible indicators to look for.

  26. He's just starting out and experiencing the world (you are contributing to his experience) and you're entering middle age…. just not compatible in a long term relationship….

  27. If you do want to stay with him I would make it clear that if he ever makes another comment like that, you will be breaking up.

  28. Do you describe a group of men as males interchangeably? Probably not. It’s dehumanizing women to their biology like when we discuss animals (a female lion, a female deer, etc), and it’s almost universally used in a condescending context. Examples:

    “Females are just like that” “When females catch you doing..”

    You don’t see a lot of:

    “Ladies, when your male is out doing..” “Don’t let your males act like that.”

    Hopefully that helps.

  29. I don’t think that – GENERALLY – there’s anything wrong with asking for feedback, as long as you’re truly prepared to receive any and all responses. In this particular case, you did get feedback – he felt friend chemistry. And that’s okay. It’s not a knock on you, or a sign that you should have done anything differently. Not everyone is meant for everyone.

  30. Sounds like protest behaviour. She might be anxiously attached. Some light reading will help explain her behaviour better.

  31. You leave or stay but be at peace with your choice. You decide how you wanna on-line. Life ain't fair you gotta put in work with whatever decision you decide to make just be sure your content with it.

  32. I think that’s a great thing to tell him. While what he did was definitely a little fucked – it seems like you two had a good heart to hear that led to a better understanding on some level. Hopefully he’ll know that you don’t have any ill will.

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