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Date: September 25, 2022
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Im so confused, he bought a large lasagne and all of a sudden youre avoiding him?
I hate the “break up” advice on reddit.
However this is the rare cases that the only two options are either to break up with the guy or for the guy to end his friendship with his best friend.
This sort of shit haunts guys and tortures them. I’ve been in a similar situation, but with a little of bit of a different story. It’s not good, it’s shit.
The guy will always think about how whether or not you’re cheating or not with his best friend or whether you guys still have feelings or are flirtatious. Just no.
Either you have to break it off or the guy has to end it with his friend. Unfortunately that is the way.
Save what? She's a selfish, entitled bitch and you should toss her out on her ass. She clearly doesn't respect you….but she will when you stand your ground and kick her out.
I think you should not cut your friend off at all and if your boyfriend still insists, you should drop him
Does she even wear jewelry? I had a boyfriend that kept telling me he would buy me jewelry, but I don't even use it. He insisted I should.
If she doesn't wear it, I don't think the gift would mean as much as something thoughful. Plus, tell your parents not all girl/women are the same.
In such a situation the only thing to do is establish an arrangement between you and your husband. The worse thing you could do is separate and put your children through that.
His request is something I would do as well 60% men are raising some other guy kids
As a bi woman I can confirm you're right on the money! I was in fact put on this earth as a vehicle for weird ass dudes to get threesomes, and my sexuality will do a factory reset once a nice fella fixes me. I hope it happens soon and I can finally be normal, it's exhausting having to keep loving women!
jk can you imagine
That’s not a fatal age gap but it is significant. Most 26 year old men don’t think of 20 year old women as an equal partner. He’s coming up on 30, you’re practically just out of high school.
They don't need your consent, but I certainly wouldn't stay friends with someone who fucked an ex. There are 8 billion people in the world so having sex with your ex is a choice.
Fuck, yes, he's unreasonable. Dump this chump.
nah. If you are gonna claim something to be super sentimental but manage to leave it in a foreign country I am gonna argue that it wasn’t that big of a deal. He left there and it accidentally got tossed. He should’ve said something to OP sooner about it if it was so sentimental he was gonna get OP to rebuy it.
an few week isn’t enough to fall deeply in love. take it show
She’s on medication for the depression. She’s been trying to get in with a counselor for a while but hasn’t been able to find one that sticks. There’s always some excuse as to why she stops seeing them. She wanted me to get into counseling and I’ve been going to one consistently for almost two years. But she’s had like 3 in that time and hasn’t stuck with one longer than a couple months.
If you two done have the same ideals with children this relationship isn’t going to work. If you don’t want a child then getting pregnant will only worsen this situation.
How is this not cheating? She fucked a dude for money while continuing a relationship with her bf
And what exactly is his compromise? He didn't even offer one.
This is worrisome since my last psychiatrist prescribed them to me for daily use for insomnia 🙃
Luckily, my new one switched it.
Just get a new GF. Seriously, if she is not listening to reason, what else is there? Sleep is quite important as you are aware.
Is she bipolar by any chance? Her sleeping patterns sound like me pre-diagnosis. Same with the irritability and emotional breakdowns. It would be good for her to talk to someone because that is not normal. It’s also completely inappropriate to drag you into it, and it puts your health at risk. This is a super volatile situation for you and you need to protect yourself first.
Yeah…but i am too shy and he gives off a weird vibe, and my intuintion says to stay away…
It’s a correct claim. If a queer furry was killed or imprisoned, it’s because they’re queer, not because they’re a furry. Be serious.
And this is coming from someone that agrees that OP (kind of understandably) acted like a dick and needs to change his mindset if he wants to salvage their friendship. But furries are not a marginalized community. A lot of the furry community is queer but that doesn’t make the community itself anything more than a group of people with a hobby. It’s not a race or orientation or ethnicity.
I can't blame her, I cannot imagine anything drying me up more.
Thank you 🙏
Oh BS. he's being perfectly clear. Just like me asking someone out for a drink is perfectly clear that's it's for a date even though I didn't say the word date. Chill with your white knighting BS. The guy is clearly asking for a weekend date. No masking, no nothing.
I agree. It would be absolutely disgusting for me to do the same. I find it nude to go all in on someone I care about is all.
Time to end. You are not willing to change what you do that makes him uncomfortable. He is free to do whatever he likes, just like you, but you don't like that. Sorry, just not buying that you dress in outfits you yourself call sexy but you aren't doing it for the attention. If that were the case, you'd just wear sexy outfits around the house and blue jeans and sweatshirts when you go out. He has called your bluff, but you want to control the situation. He hasn't told you that you cannot go out, or what you are allowed to wear. You are free to do as you please. Well, so is he. This will just escalate because you two are too hardheaded to compromise. Might as well just end it now.
I had an ex who was a LAWYER and lived at home at 36. I realized his mom was his GF. I moved from Seattle to LA to be with him. In two years I lived in LA dating him he spent the night once at my place. Living with your parents isn’t a bad thing. However, not being able separate away from them and being independent is a bad thing. I couldn’t even have a drawer of clothes at his place and he had so much stuff it filled two rooms.
She’s trickle truthing him. Bruh…that’s your karma, so if you do bad it comes back. Let him know but activate ghost protocol on that viper.
“Men” don't pull away. He himself has apparently pulled away, although I'd argue this isn't a new issue given the context provided. Did you two have any sort of discussion about him taking a new job? It completely changed the dynamic of your relationship. That he chose to do it says a lot.
Now, I understand that in a silo you can't just stop someone from pursuing what makes them happy. But in context, you two have decided you're getting married. You've decided you're each other's forever, so every decision impacts both of you, which means you need to be considered. He chose to take a job to leave and subsequently travel often. You good with that?
Add in his now lack of effort, your focus should be on reconsidering the relationship, not asking if there's a justification for his behavior because it might apply to all men. It doesn't. You're asking why he's behaving this way. We don't know. You need to ask him! Giving him space isn't a solution, it's a game. Talk to him. Good luck.
He doesn't respect your property and he doesn't respect you.
OP dtsted in their previous post that he still owns a business with the ex and they are still friends.
Ding ding ding
yeah still right now ..
Gently giving the advice here that I think you should end it then. The reasons you give for wanting to stay in this relationship are wanting to be enough for him and be happy. You’re being quite nude on yourself and putting a lot of blame on yourself. Take some time to care for yourself.
Of course it is fair. If you can't handle your shit, you shouldn't be allowed to disrupt everyone else or create risks. Your roommate has only brought two girls home and neither created a scene. The problem here is your judgment.
I have been on the other side of this, where my flatmate turned out to be prostituting herself on Gumtree. It was a very scary moment when we, all girls, were confronted with two strange men in the house. Everyone went into their rooms and locked the doors.. I heard literal choking noises when I came home like an hour later. I had no idea if she waa OK, had no idea what would happen if I checked on her. It was inappropriate and unfair.
What?
i would suggest mentioning it only once you notice some visible thinning, more scalp visibility. also you're 20, so don't worry so much. mention if the relationship makes past 5-6 years as adults. these same people shitting on you would have no problem telling their spouses to lose weight or fix acne or go on hormonal bc just to not wear condoms etc etc. attraction matters. if you do end up outside this relationship, best way to tell if a guy will go bald is pay attention to male family members of his. lesser odds.
Sorry, but Bald men are sexy. You know when you get older your hair will thin out and how will you feel if he tells you that you need a hair transplant or go on medication. You sounds like you will never be satisfied.
The relationship is over.
“Allowed to go”? Really? What other parts of your life does he control? A relationship should be a trusted partnership, not a narrow minded dictatorship. You need to decide if you are ok with ultimatums and controlling behavior.
This is easy, just say that you were looking for a hookup on tinder and saw him so thought you would say hi.
I don’t believe this is a real post
Right!!!!!!!
Second Life is an old game that dates back to the 80s, I think. The game has a lot of weird shit in it.
Her hanging out with her friend while his girlfriend is performing sex acts with another guy isn’t cool. If she doesn’t have a problem with it then you need to have a conversation and explain it to her. And if she doesn’t see the problem with it, you need to decide if it’s a dealbreaker. If it is, then end the relationship.
Lol just take the cunt outside and flatten him.
Honestly I wouldn't even mention being together. He is blackmailing you, that's the important info.
From a man's perspective a woman stops alot of romantic effort (not just sex) after one or more kids are born, his comment “happy as we were 10 years ago” indicates that's a high probability, I'm not accusing you it's only a possibility. Ask him what he regrets, ask him if there is anything you can do.
If you really want to, make it clear you would like to see where each of you are at in 1 year; encourage the reunion so to speak. But other than that, leave her be for now.
So leave him alone about it! It is his body!
She picked you.
Look, I’ve been married a really long time, and there were things that I gave up when I got married. The road diverged & I took one path & not another. I understood my choices, and I made the best decisions I could with the information I had.
And you know what? Life happened. And it kept on happening. I have a lot more information today than I did when I got married. I do love my life, but there are things I missed out on. There are doors that I closed that couldn’t be revisited. And I regret. Not so much regret that I would trade my spouse – but regrets just the same.
We all make choices, and your wife chose you because she loved the idea of a life with you so much that it was worth forgoing children- and she had no guarantee she would have children in a life without you. But tonight, after spending the evening with a smushpot of love and adorability, she regrets.
Let me suggest that her regret doesn’t mean that she regrets YOU or the life you have had or the life you will have. She may wish that things were different even though she knows they are not.
This topic is settled. It was settled when you married. You have never wavered. You are willing to do many things, but raising a child isn’t one of them. Your partner knows that this ship has sailed, but today she is feeling the loss of the choice she made.
Maybe instead of being angry and defensive (both understandable & valid on your part,) you can just sit with her as she grieves the road not taken.
Dating is an interview process. The point is to get to know people to see if you're a fit and you're compatible. If he “didn't like” most of them, that means they're not right for him.
I think you're going out of your way to create a problem where one doesn't exist. First, who cares if she takes the relationship seriously or not? Second, he asked her out, she said now, and he carried on living his life. Is he supposed to wallow in misery over a rejection for a year?
It's completely unreasonable for you ask to see chats. Either you trust him or you don't. If you continue like this, this won't last long. Good luck.
You need to break up. Being drunk is no excuse for this shitty behaviour. He didn't even see the light when he was sober. A bf must have your back. But instead he choosed his awful friends. Friends who makes fun, no bully you because you do a natural thing. Oh how dare you flew home. They had so many jokes prepared for the next days. If you were laughingwith them, okay, but you were crying, seeking for the help of the one who should support you and he did nothing. If he can'tevenhave your back in such a situation. When his friends and a stupid trip is more important, you should break up.
To think that he behaved like this with 28. I thought the were just out of teenager age, but he is nearly 30 and is so immature.
I too am a shift worker. I give as good as I get. Wake me up today? I won’t make as much to be quiet tonight. Not that I’ll deliberately be noisy, I just will make no effort to be quiet.
Blaming the victim. Didn’t think I’d see that in here.
I believe this is called a 'blessing in disguise'.
I'm a 37M who was brought up in an incredibly abusive environment. I have 12 years of talk-therapy under my belt and have experienced so many hardships and I've persevered like a bulldozer. I've definitely dated my share of crazy before. I'm currently engaged in a healthy relationship of 8 years.
Dude, this is an emergency. You need to break up with her. Get your car back first, then break up right when you have it safe and secure. Have all her shit packed in boxes and ready to go in the entryway. Change the locks if she has a key. Heed my words and take all necessary precautions. This is serious and could devolve further still and leave you with heaps of emotional baggage that you'll carry for years.
Your girlfriend is a psychopath buddy. I'm not trying to be hurtful, just real. You will be put in so much danger and heartache with this frightened, wounded, and cornered beast you call your girlfriend.
COMMUNICATION IS NOT THE ANSWER HERE. COUPLE'S THERAPY IS NOT THE ANSWER HERE. GET YOUR CAR AND GET THE FUCK OUT!
Godspeed.
Please update us, OP. You’re not overreacting.
Awesome so I’m not the only one
And it's also about being able to adapt your risk tolerance to circumstances.
For example, if I'm alone and it's during the day in a populated area, I'm more likely to check on someone having car trouble.
If it's after dark, or on a lonely stretch of road, or my daughter is with me, I'm driving the hell on because the circumstances are different and the risk is too high.
If Boyfriend doesn't fucking get that you make decisions based on circumstances and not on a one-size-fits-all rule, he's missing a common sense chip.
There are exceptions, endless examples of devotion by both sexes … but the reality is that men are less likely to adhere to an ill mate than women are. As I said … there are endless examples of men that are exceptions to the trend. All are deserving of respect and admiration which I have for them. The same respect and admiration is due anyone that cares for the health and well being of another.
Its what u said, he was counting a loan from his brother like it is his money.
Just be aware, he's still doing it.
I'm sorry to hear your in this situation. If it makes you feel any better not uncommon. See the book/doco Fair Play for example.
If he is truly willing to make the change, you can try having weekly/fortnightly check ins – discuss the mental and physical domestic labour, pre-agreed standards and whether they were met, show appreciation for each other. Things can't change overnight but there needs to be clear effort from him. Also it sounds like not only is he not contributing, he also doesn't acknowledge, let alone appreciate, your unpaid labour.
If he's not willing to make the change, nothing will change and you need to decide whether this is a deal breaker for you or not.
break up
god this guy is creepy asf… the way he types is very… odd… I definitely don’t like it and I fear for that girl’s life
So he’s a major creep because he started dating someone who was an adult by 3 years? Ridiculous!
And he says..? What is his explanation?
My husband’s 53 and there’s no sign of this oh it’s old age, hormone decline etc. Don’t accept that.
Poor diet (too many ultra processed foods) underlies so much. Makes you feel rubbish mentally and physically and why would you want sex when you feel rubbish? It’s the first thing to go.
Alcohol, stress, anxiety, he reeled you in and now has stopped making any effort? What is it?
Simply a loss of attraction or his attention is being diverted elsewhere then it’s game over. Other reasons can be worked through.