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No and that’s because lawyers are technically there to help guide you through the legal process of separating your assets. They just often get used as a weapon instead. If you don’t want your lawyer to really “go after her” then they won’t. I’d get a lawyer first and discuss how you want this to go. Then get as much paperwork set up as possible before talking to her. Tell her you don’t want to ruin her and won’t be taking anything that isn’t already yours, but that it’s over and that part is not up for discussion.
No and that’s because lawyers are technically there to help guide you through the legal process of separating your assets. They just often get used as a weapon instead. If you don’t want your lawyer to really “go after her” then they won’t. I’d get a lawyer first and discuss how you want this to go. Then get as much paperwork set up as possible before talking to her. Tell her you don’t want to ruin her and won’t be taking anything that isn’t already yours, but that it’s over and that part is not up for discussion.