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Date: October 2, 2022
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tgen drop them on doorstep or ask someone to do it for you.
Hey, I get it. It's not a simple “just get over it”, it takes time and a lot of redirecting.
It takes time replacing the bad thoughts with the good. What are things that make you happy? Hobbies, music? Start filling your cup with things that bring you joy. Stay being kind to yourself, even if it's doing something small/ nice for you every day.
You enjoy naked chocolate? Make yourself one! Do you enjoy bubble baths? Treat yourself to a soak. It doesn't have to be big things, or expensive, it just has to be something nice. Over time, redirecting becomes easier.
It's not an overnight solution. It takes time and patience, and you'll have bad days (which is where the therapy/ support network comes in). You're allowed to feel bad, as long as it's fleeting and not consuming.
I don't know if any of it helps, I do really hope you can find your peace.
Well, it's good that you mention your husband; you are clearly doing your part.
There is still a much higher likelihood of a drunk single man in a club/bar (as compared to a sober man in another setting) to not relent, and still make passes.
Which inherently shows that the bar/club is not a place where men go to strike up platonic conversations with women.
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That’s called being selfish. Your husband is and always has been selfish. He gives to you and is kind when you go along with his wants. Do your wants EVER matter? Even to you?
Your married to her but you don't know where she's from……
Bing bing lol sounds like you been watching too much Little Britain
Why do you not?
I'm surprised how much of this sentiment I'm seeing in this thread. I'm in my mid-30s and have never once had a partner who was uncomfortable with me spending this kind of time with my platonic opposite-sex friends.
“Thanks for encouraging me to be abused, Dad.”
Listen, I get that this has upset you, and hurt your feelings. But I do think you are reading way too much into this.
Just because she didn't treat him well during the relationship, it doesn't mean that he is required to hate her, and cut off all contact forever, and pretend like she doesn't exist. It is entirely possible that he has forgiven her, and that has allowed him to be able to maintain a degree of contact with her over the years, and to move on with his life.
And just because she didn't treat him well, it doesn't mean that their relationship was all bad. There are probably parts of the relationship that he thinks of fondly. And that is OK.
As for the letters, again, there is nothing wrong with holding onto those. They are reminders from his past, and he is allowed to keep them.
Being able to maintain an amicable friendship with an ex, and having mementos from that relationship don't automatically mean that he is cheating on you, or that he is still in love with her & would rather be with her.
Right now, based on what you have written, I am not seeing any issue with either of those things, it does sound like a you problem (insecurity and possibly lack of emotional maturity).
If there are other things you are leaving out, that may change things, but right now? It sounds normal.