33 thoughts on “EllieRouse on-line sex cams for YOU!”
Really sorry for everything you’re going through. I don’t have all the details but it sounds like the relationship may have run it’s course. There’s always couple therapy but from the sound of it, it seems like she wouldn’t be all that interested in participating.
To answer your question, how would I handle it? I would make plans to start over. I’d start cutting back my expenses in order to save up some extra money. A few months down the line or whenever I could leave, I would. It wouldn’t have to a secret. I would tell my partner that I feel she’s not making an effort to salvage our relationship. Her energy is focused on other people/men. I’d tell her that even after mentioning how uncomfortable her behavior is making me, the behavior persists. Locking her phone and changing how protective she is over it is also a red flag I would toss in there.
Your exactly right p, she got better at deleting her messages. I only found out because i came home early while she was on the phone and when i looked at her last call it wasn’t there..she had clearly deleted it.
I know his bank is no where near our college, so I could see why it is difficult to change it now. But why didn't he do it a while ago? He has told me this isn't the first time they have looked at his bank account or took money without asking. Good thing we might be going to his house on Christmas and he can change his bank account Monday.
I don't want to come off controlling, but if we ever get married and his parents are still linked to his account it is now both of our money they are looking at and stealing from.
You knowingly decided to date a slob and helped 4 times and you expect him to change?? Like his mama wasn’t even cleaning it ? stop cleaning his room and don’t come over until it is…wow I just re-read that and it’s such a child-like “punishment”…cleaning is a basic skill like cooking and washing your ass.
There is no shame in admitting to yourself that perhaps a relationship has run it's course. Perhaps there are basic incompatibilities that have crept into your relationship over time, or perhaps because you two did get together rather early, you didn't notice them until age and life experiences made them apparent.
The only thing you can do is communicate how you are feeling (you probably already have), have a dialogue, and then determine if it is in both of your best interests to continue. She could have similar feelings to you, in terms of being on the same page, but it is simply difficult to have a “make or break” discussion. Even though you both know that it may be the healthiest thing to do.
You both deserve to be happy, ya know? You've only got one life to live, and giving into sunken cost fallacies doesn't do either one of you any favors.
I wish you the best of luck. I'm merely sharing the things that I wish I knew in my first very serious relationship.
What's your hurry? You're 21. Shit, you should be more worried about how drunk you're going to get this weekend. It's not like your child bearing years are rapidly sunsetting. You have a quarter century before that's an issue.
How bad was your family life growing up and what exactly are you running from that you'd drop straight from living at home to a long-term relationship with a guy who's clearly a predator (23 y/o dating a 17 y/o is pretty close to illegal and shifty AF)
Not in this case. He was still making excuses “just letting my emotions run free”, which means he never took responsibility for his actions and never will. There was no regret in those words. He doesn't feel bad about it.
To be honest I’ve never been one to get offended by something like that, so thank you for that perspective. I definitely feel like his age could be a part of it too. He can be emotionally immature and just immature in general about some things. Anytime I’ve tried to have a mature discussion about something, whether it be about money or a situation like this, he gets so mad and always thinks I’m attacking him. I always feel like i’m grasping at straws
I think you need to sit down and get honesty from her. She’s not going to want to try for kids at 43. I get why you’re upset, she’s been stringing you along by saying there was a chance. I think you know now there is no chance.
The real question is, is having a child, more important than your marriage? Now you know you will never have children with her, is the need to have kids so great that you’ll move on?
I think both of you have been under the impression that you could convince the other to your point of view. Clearly, that’s not the case and you two need to talk things out. Be calm but ask her “be honest with me. You don’t want kids at all do you?” Go from there. Keep things civil and on point.
You could have been Harry Fucking Styles with a PhD and she'd still want to be out there living an unattached life.
THIS. ISN'T. ABOUT. YOU.
Ps. I really have a ton of respect, honestly, for how she handled this whole thing, because holy heck if you telescoped your atttachement issues to her as much as you have here, she probably had a LOT of rightful concerns about how to enforce her boundaries.
He's pathetic. He needs you to pretend to be weaker than you are so he can pretend to be strong. And he thinks you owe him that because he's the man and it's his God-given right to be better than his woman. But you being less will not make him more, and you're not the one stopping him from “being a man.”
His attitude is gross and his insecurities are sad. Go find a man who appreciates your strengths and doesn't ask you to be less than you are.
He's creating a world where your daughter was not his or just never existed, because he can't cope with the pain of having lost her. He needs serious help.
Yeah we did talk about couples therapy but I feel like it’s something for later down the track, not right now since he’s willing to accept my boundaries and go no contact with them while we progress with our solo therapy.
I also can’t help but think if we need couples counselling after only just over a year of dating, it’s probably not the right relationship.
I know this sucks to hear, but a first time always leads to a second time if you stick around and wait for it.
It’s unfortunately not unusual for abusers to start showing their colors after reaching some mental goalpost that makes them feel more comfortable – my aunt’s first husband only showed signs of abuse after their engagement. She still went through with it because she was too embarassed to call it off – and it only got so much worse after the wedding. Took her years to get out of that marriage. I don’t want that for you. Take care of yourself.
Really sorry for everything you’re going through. I don’t have all the details but it sounds like the relationship may have run it’s course. There’s always couple therapy but from the sound of it, it seems like she wouldn’t be all that interested in participating.
To answer your question, how would I handle it? I would make plans to start over. I’d start cutting back my expenses in order to save up some extra money. A few months down the line or whenever I could leave, I would. It wouldn’t have to a secret. I would tell my partner that I feel she’s not making an effort to salvage our relationship. Her energy is focused on other people/men. I’d tell her that even after mentioning how uncomfortable her behavior is making me, the behavior persists. Locking her phone and changing how protective she is over it is also a red flag I would toss in there.
Good luck.
What do you call the person who graduated last in their class from med school?
“Doctor”
Honestly there's a bunch of dumb people out there with degrees, it just means they finished school.
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Your exactly right p, she got better at deleting her messages. I only found out because i came home early while she was on the phone and when i looked at her last call it wasn’t there..she had clearly deleted it.
I know his bank is no where near our college, so I could see why it is difficult to change it now. But why didn't he do it a while ago? He has told me this isn't the first time they have looked at his bank account or took money without asking. Good thing we might be going to his house on Christmas and he can change his bank account Monday.
I don't want to come off controlling, but if we ever get married and his parents are still linked to his account it is now both of our money they are looking at and stealing from.
Also we don't know if she cheated before or after getting married.
You knowingly decided to date a slob and helped 4 times and you expect him to change?? Like his mama wasn’t even cleaning it ? stop cleaning his room and don’t come over until it is…wow I just re-read that and it’s such a child-like “punishment”…cleaning is a basic skill like cooking and washing your ass.
You sound like the guy that thinks a girl loves you because she said “hi” one time when she sat next to you
There is no shame in admitting to yourself that perhaps a relationship has run it's course. Perhaps there are basic incompatibilities that have crept into your relationship over time, or perhaps because you two did get together rather early, you didn't notice them until age and life experiences made them apparent.
The only thing you can do is communicate how you are feeling (you probably already have), have a dialogue, and then determine if it is in both of your best interests to continue. She could have similar feelings to you, in terms of being on the same page, but it is simply difficult to have a “make or break” discussion. Even though you both know that it may be the healthiest thing to do.
You both deserve to be happy, ya know? You've only got one life to live, and giving into sunken cost fallacies doesn't do either one of you any favors.
I wish you the best of luck. I'm merely sharing the things that I wish I knew in my first very serious relationship.
Yikes
What's your hurry? You're 21. Shit, you should be more worried about how drunk you're going to get this weekend. It's not like your child bearing years are rapidly sunsetting. You have a quarter century before that's an issue.
How bad was your family life growing up and what exactly are you running from that you'd drop straight from living at home to a long-term relationship with a guy who's clearly a predator (23 y/o dating a 17 y/o is pretty close to illegal and shifty AF)
I would never jeopardize my freedom for anyone. That’s why I want her out of my life completely
Not in this case. He was still making excuses “just letting my emotions run free”, which means he never took responsibility for his actions and never will. There was no regret in those words. He doesn't feel bad about it.
Would it be ok with you if she chose someone new? Maybe she ought to find someone she doesn't know already
Dump her
What should you do? Run. Seriously.
To be honest I’ve never been one to get offended by something like that, so thank you for that perspective. I definitely feel like his age could be a part of it too. He can be emotionally immature and just immature in general about some things. Anytime I’ve tried to have a mature discussion about something, whether it be about money or a situation like this, he gets so mad and always thinks I’m attacking him. I always feel like i’m grasping at straws
I think you need to sit down and get honesty from her. She’s not going to want to try for kids at 43. I get why you’re upset, she’s been stringing you along by saying there was a chance. I think you know now there is no chance.
The real question is, is having a child, more important than your marriage? Now you know you will never have children with her, is the need to have kids so great that you’ll move on?
I think both of you have been under the impression that you could convince the other to your point of view. Clearly, that’s not the case and you two need to talk things out. Be calm but ask her “be honest with me. You don’t want kids at all do you?” Go from there. Keep things civil and on point.
It's literally assault.
Fuck OP. Funny how she's not concerned about his culture.
Dudes will take a 6 with great personality over an 8 that’s a hard mess.
Yes it hurts. But yes it’s honest.
I’ve seen my wife’s Exes. One dude was Ryan Philippe knock off, down to the 6 pack. But you know what? She chose me. And I’m ok with that.
Only after you chased her around from app to app to ask her questions on how she felt about you and some other guy.
She's not a saint here, either, but it does appear as if you really chased her down there for a bit.
Thank you so much for your response
Yeh I'm thinking that we maybe dip a toe into this scenario and see how it goes.
“well you could dress sexier”
So now it's YOUR fault for why he was doing that, he needs to get to steppin'.
No. She wouldn't have been.
You could have been Harry Fucking Styles with a PhD and she'd still want to be out there living an unattached life.
THIS. ISN'T. ABOUT. YOU.
Ps. I really have a ton of respect, honestly, for how she handled this whole thing, because holy heck if you telescoped your atttachement issues to her as much as you have here, she probably had a LOT of rightful concerns about how to enforce her boundaries.
He's pathetic. He needs you to pretend to be weaker than you are so he can pretend to be strong. And he thinks you owe him that because he's the man and it's his God-given right to be better than his woman. But you being less will not make him more, and you're not the one stopping him from “being a man.”
His attitude is gross and his insecurities are sad. Go find a man who appreciates your strengths and doesn't ask you to be less than you are.
He's creating a world where your daughter was not his or just never existed, because he can't cope with the pain of having lost her. He needs serious help.
Send him a screenshot, then turn off your location until you discuss it.
Yeah we did talk about couples therapy but I feel like it’s something for later down the track, not right now since he’s willing to accept my boundaries and go no contact with them while we progress with our solo therapy.
I also can’t help but think if we need couples counselling after only just over a year of dating, it’s probably not the right relationship.
This OP, this is the way. So easy to crush on someone when you can't see how they pick their teeth or gawd forbid their nose.
Its not extremely distant as we have a great connection & she asked how others would feel about it.
Damn your wife's a hoe
I know this sucks to hear, but a first time always leads to a second time if you stick around and wait for it.
It’s unfortunately not unusual for abusers to start showing their colors after reaching some mental goalpost that makes them feel more comfortable – my aunt’s first husband only showed signs of abuse after their engagement. She still went through with it because she was too embarassed to call it off – and it only got so much worse after the wedding. Took her years to get out of that marriage. I don’t want that for you. Take care of yourself.