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emiilyrosee1 looking for a lot of fun and pleasure 😉
Date: April 28, 2023
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If this is a pattern, then I think you really need to consider the type of guys you’re attracted to. I’m not blaming you for what happened. It is most definitely not your fault that you were assaulted. You obviously told him about your boundaries and he still chose to violate them. He is a disgusting piece of shit as far as I am concerned. However as to my point of the type of guys you’re attracted to. I think that therapy is a good idea. Not only to help you through your awful experience, but also a therapist can help you to identify red flags in these type of men. That way going forward you can avoid engaging in a relationship with men who will hurt you. I’m so sorry this has happened to you and I hope you are able to recover from it and most definitely never experience anything like it again in your life
Ok, this one hits close to home because I am in the exact same situation, my mother and I had a falling out years ago and I've been no contact with her for 10 years. My wife was there through all of it and knows how nude that was. We've had several discussions about the what if's, she comes around one day, I get notified she's in the hospital, she dies, etc. I have told my wife the same thing each time, not my problem and it's not hers to try to solve either. It's my mother and my choice to let her in or to keep her out.
We have 2 boys, the older one, after the falling out, took duct tape and put it over his grandma's face in every picture she was in, in our home. My wife saw it before I did and promptly took down the pictures and replaced with ones of us and the kids. My youngest doesn't remember her. I have asked my oldest how he felt about the situation when he turned 18. His response wasn't “no”, but it was a defensive answer which told me he has no interest.
So part of my reason to keep her away and stay no contact is how my kids feel about it. I honestly feel the same way, she's never apologized for her part in the situation. It wasn't a disagreement over something either. She literally stole from me to help someone out and then try to pass it off as I had made a mistake.
If my wife pulled some BS like what you did, and ambushed me like that, that's multiple boundaries broken at one time, trust violated and likely severely damaged, and many more. I would be deeply hurt that the one person I put the most trust and confided in would be willing to disregard my stance on the situation, disrespect me in my own home, humiliate me. I don't know if I'd be able to get over that.
How do you get him to forgive and regain his trust again, sounds like you might not be able to. I would first begin with saying your sorry, taking accountability for screwing up and then through your actions, show that your trust worthy. Trust and peace of mind are key things required in a relationship, you violated both by having his mother in his home without his knowledge. I would liken it borderline cheating, scheming and then ambush. Then you proceeded to argue with, the back and forth part, you probably defended your actions, explaining what and why. The irony is, you already knew how he felt and still decided to side with his mother. You took her side. That stings, like really bad in these situations. I'm surprised you didn't get dumped on the spot, I would've. It's more difficult being married with kids, but I would be seriously considering divorce with that level of deceit.