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1. Be upfront with her about the financial situation. If her job gives her anxiety, then perhaps the better solution is to find a new job. Reducing hours or being a SAHP makes sense when there are young children to take care of. Childcare isn't exactly cheap. I agree that it's not a good idea to have children right now — and having a child may need to be pushed back until her mental health is better.

   Does she have income protection? I took leave from my work to focus on therapy when my BPD, C-PTSD, and social anxiety was exacerbated with burnout and depression. I had income protection so I was able to focus on therapy whilst still being able to bring in money for my and my SO's household. I've recovered and was even able to save up money from the income protection to get into an intensive therapy program in my city. The support my husband gave me was priceless. While my income protection was processing with my insurance, he was the only one bringing in money for our bills.

   Work with her on this. Remember that it's you and her vs the problem. Not you vs her.

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2. This is embarrassing. You both sound like you suck. Consider yourself lucky

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