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1. I would stick to complimenting his skills and abilities. Or things he accomplishes. Or saying things like “I’m glad you’re my husband”, “You excite me”, “You make me so happy”.

   As an average guy I kinda get his reaction. But 14 years of having a woman tell you good things? He’s got to realize YOU see him that way, even if he doesn’t. I kinda hate the love language thing. But it seems you’re “Words of Affirmation”. Find out what his love language is and express your love for him in ways HE feels love.

   I’m a touchy person. But I had a gf that really liked acts of service and disliked touch. Me doing things is what made her feel loved. So I went out of my way to do things that didn’t matter to me but SHE felt expressed my love. Because at the end of the day I wanted her to know I loved her.

   It’s clear you love your husband, he’s a lucky bastard. You just need to translate for him.

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2. Nope. Not overreacting at all.

   I spent 4 years living with a guy with a “friend” like this when we were teenagers. Dude is 50 now (even got married to someone else for several years after me) and STILL romantically pining for his “friend”.

   Trust your gut and trust your eyes. She might be your boyfriend’s “friend”, but she clearly is NOT YOURS.

   You need your BF to decide who is his priority and act accordingly.

   If you are NOT his priority, DTMFA and find someone who will put you first! Don’t waste 4 years wondering why you don’t matter to him like I did!!

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