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EVAN+HOLLY, 18 y.o.
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Date: December 5, 2022
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Your first step is to talk to a divorce lawyer – they will guide you through this.
Get another friend to go with you
wtf are you even writing op. get rid of this pos
ask your bf why he feels he needs to watch porn everyday. something is either going on in the relationship that he's not speaking up about or something may be going on with himself. porn activates the dopamine receptiors in the brain. he's not getting the right dopamine. his perception of women and sex will change depending on usage.
Agreed. Guess my main point is the bf has a double life. She doesn’t deserve to be lied to and cheated on with anyone regardless of sexual preference.
You’re kind to think of their feelings. But I agree with above commenter’s suggestion. It’s a kind rejection that won’t make you sound like a jerk.
I'm married to a husband in the military. He gets busy, he works late, he deploys, he's in places where he can't take his phone. I absolutely get it when he can't respond to me.
Just yesterday, we were supposed to have lunch together. I messaged him to confirm the time. He didn't respond for over an hour. It went past our normal lunch. He finally responded saying something had come up. Then we set up a time for lunch. I was never angry or upset. I told him I understood, then brought lunch.
Find you a partner who can be understanding and can work around crazy military things. What would she have done if you had deployed and couldn't respond for days at a time or more?
My goal is to make sure not to add stress to my husband in an already stressful lifestyle. We move every three years, he deploys, he works late, he has to work up solutions that appear on the spot. Yes, I'm clingy and desire attention. He gives it to me, but I also don't hound him when he's working.
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That should reasonably set off alarm bells.
Because it would for anyone, right? I tossed and turned for it all night and finally asked him if he was cheating. Of course he said no. But there's something going on.
Yea I understand where you're coming from. My partner and I are on and off open and I don't like hearing details at all.
Eh, emotions are there, but it's your choice to say it out loud. I may find another girl's boobs attractive, but I think I'd be an asshole if I said it out loud in front of my gf.
Yes. A retaliation message sent from a place if hurt feelings won't make him change or acknowledge you and it won't make you feel any better. It's over just let it be and move on.
Omg, you poor thing. What Ali did was unforgivable and your husband was actually stupid for believing her. It's going to take a lot if time to build up the trust and the relationship you had before, it will never be the same as what your husband put you through was very traumatic for you and to even have your parents believing you cheated. The fact you day at times you still love him there might be a chance for both of you but it will take time and yes your husband is completely responsible for the stare if your relationship as he believed Ali. What did lying Ali have to say when it was found out she was a liar and a bike nasty one at that? It's a pity one can't sue someone like Aku for being so malicious and evil.
There’s a vast difference between “can you set me up with someone” and “so here’s my magic wand, and here’s my rabbit and bullet. I need dick.”
Naked line boundaries for her. She crossed a line and disrespected your relationship. If she blames it on being high, then don’t be around her when she’s high. This wasn’t normal behaviour imo.
I probably wouldn’t shut him out but I also wouldn’t fall asleep next to him
Sounds like case closed.
You can't. Either he's a grownup or he isn't. Looks like he isn't.
I can see where your gf is coming from, as a trans woman myself, there is a tremendous issue with fetishization and chasers. For every 100 guys interested, only one will actually see you for who you are.
What's not okay is calling you a chaser for no reason, and saying she settled for you. That's a big no-no. She acted like a huge asshole, and her friends are even worse.
I would not be suprised if those friends talked her into believing that you are only with her as a small step towards gay relationships. It's unfortunately a very common talking point.
I'm sure it's also not great to tell someone who's 27 that type of sad news. Young women can also have problems in pregnancy. The risks are higher in older women but that does not automatically mean the age-related risks are so extreme (all other things being equal) as to be a rational major reason to avoid pregnancy later in life.
This girl is clearly conflicted. She's having sex while at the same time feeling some type of way over her beliefs, her church, etc. She really needs to have a serious look at her beliefs and what she wants, get herself figured.
Her out of the blue decision leaves me to believe in a matter of time she's going to change her mind again. It's not fair to put you through the back and forth confusion, and you should tell her that. You have to respect her decision if she wants to stop having sex until she's married. However you're not obligated to stay if that's not the type of relationship you want. You both have choices here, now you have to make yours.
You have to make the call on if it’s right for you or not. But what I will say is knowing them do you think they would be open to the convo or do you think there is a possibility that you come out feeling worse after by what they say?
If there is a chance you walk away feeling worse then make sure you weigh that into your decision on having this convo.
You may get 2 dif reactions as well, I am assuming maybe wrongfully so that being divorced this would be 2 separate conversations.
How long have you been debating this?
I am jumping in… before I do… please understand that I agree she cheated and it is a problem.
…AND…
I grew up being told that all men wanted a threesome… that girls practice flirting and kissing each other. That this is normal and fine. Obviously that an outdated and wrong take, but she may not have actually thought about her preconceived notions. Now… that is not an excuse. It is empathy and informs how you react. Is she breaking off contact and thinking about how her actions hurt you? Is she accepting that she hurt you and wants to show you that she loves you? Then I would say try to work through it together. But if she is doubling down or acting like you are being overly reactive then this is just far more of a problem because she didn’t care about your feelings.
Here's hoping, for both of us
Wait so you have more of problem with your friend taking hard pics of your wife for you over a total stranger? I don’t know, but if nothing physical happened, I think this would be my preference.
Communication is key, you’re in the relationship advice sub lol. Divorce gets spit out here when communication isn’t a valued asset with a partner who won’t try.
Awww. See what a clear line of communication does! Your relationship is going to prosper should you continue to be open with one another. Bravo! Happy to see a great update!
1.) I definitely cannot support myself financially yet 2.) freshman in college but technically a sophomore based off of credit hours. 3.) me and my family are Christians (non-denominational) and my gf is raised Judeo Christian but is an atheist. 4.) my parents dislike her because they think that “I could do better” (I definitely can’t) 5.) I pretty much have to rely on them but that’s because I made poor choices financially in the past.
You have already clearly communicated with him. Just give him some time to get used to the uncomfortable idea that he's been making you feel bad by accident. That is an upsetting thing to learn! He's allowed to be upset for a while.
He's not allowed to take that upset out on you though, if it comes to that. But it doesn't sound like it will it sounds like he's a genuinely respectful caring guy who just needs to adjust. You dealt with the situation well. You offered a solution. It sounds like it will be okay in a bit.
Well then either force a conversation, and find out why he’s being an idiot, or go out and get a bike and tell him to shut his hypocritical mouth when he complains.