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Eve, y.o.
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Date: November 1, 2022
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Just remind everybody about the conversation when your significantly older. “ That’s me in my glorious youth”
My partner has a masters degree in fine art. I have no degree but I’m a fully qualified chartered accountant. Whilst I would say we have equal intellect, it’s me that is earning the big money.
I'd definitely drop the friend moreso than the FWB. It sounds like the friend knew about the arrangement, and she also clearly knows it was wrong. The FWB I would drop if it was made clear that we don't fuck each other's friends, otherwise he may have mistakenly thought everything is open game. Though I also have my doubts… He may have known it would sour things if OP found it, or maybe assumed that OP would never find out and so it would never be a problem.
In either case, the most certain course of action is to likely drop the friend because that's a very hot boundary.
Makes so much sense. He has this one best friend who every time he talks to, he changes his personality and tries to mimick him. His friends probably all respect that dude more.
I don't feel like I deserve to be in this mess, why should I suffer the consequences of whatever fragile ego power struggle he has going on, right? I've done nothing wrong. I don't know how to proceed really
Better find out fast.
Gonna keep it real, this sounds like a troll post. But nice try.
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Have you had orgasms in ways other than penetration? Does he put in the effort to help you get off in other ways?
He's letting his ego get in the way of your sex life… which is completely counterproductive.
You bet. One last thing. You've known this gentleman for two months. I'm sure he's a wonderful guy, but you might want to ask yourself what you actually know about him. Yes, you know what kind of music he listens to. Do you know anything about his family? Have you ever seen him angry or sad or frustrated? Do you know his middle name? Again, I support love but two months is a very short time. Good luck and God bless!
You’d be shocked how long you can be with someone and find out the truth later that was hidden.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but did she call him names? Did she say she shamed him or attacked him? Or is she just explaining her feelings and wanting advice?
Sounds like you need to get off your high horse. Just because you find it completely normal and healthy, doesn’t mean everyone else does, and it doesn’t mean the ones who don’t aren’t rational or horribly ignorant or judge mental.
She’s not treating her bf like a piece of shot, but your “actual advice” is shitty.
As a man like you, I would like to respectfully say that you should grow a pair of balls and either demand changes in the relationship or leave.
Stop being a pushover and take charge of your own relationship.
Stop sending signs and talk. Tell him you’re ready now and ask him what he means by not being ready yet. Prepare for this to be one of your final conversations.
I wouldn't say it's cheating, but maybe “uncomfortable territory”?
It seems weird to me. I might wonder why they feel the need to do it. As long as it's not an actual person on the other end, whatever. I guess it's similar to sex toys? They seem like the real thing, but aren't.
So… how much financial and housing are you providing her?
I recommend acceptance. Thank them for their friendship, their support, explain that you will never bang them and let the chips fall where they may.
I support sex workers, but my partner going to a strip club is also a very hot boundary for me. A perfectly reasonable boundary to have.
He’s full of shit when he says strip clubs are non-sexual—their entire purpose is to sexually arouse the patients by making them go “oooh sexy girls I wish I could be with.”
Tell her sucks to be her, go pound sand. How do you know she is even telling the truth. If they were manipulated to lie before, then who is to say it isn't now?
This is how I see it … It would be different if she maybe was just talking to her ex (then you guys would have that convo about boundaries) But she visited him and lied about it. It’s the trickle truthing for me. I think it would be different if she flat out said what happened then you at least know the truth and decide how to proceed. But you don’t know when she’s telling the truth or not
This isn’t bad advice at all thank you