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♥Evelin♥, 18 y.o.
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Date: January 4, 2023
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Did you not read where it says she would constantly Harass him for years while he did the exact behavior she’s now doing?
This is why I quite literally made the parallel of dad traveling overnight to visit his parents – he would not be present that next morning with the kids in Chicago if he’s having pancakes with Mom and Dad at a Waffle House in Topeka.
Happily married couples do spend time together. Married couples who do not let their spouses spend time with anyone else are rarely happy.
Respectfully, that’s a bit of a reach. She says she has done that twice. Understandable if she’s a crier and hardly manipulative. Also she clearly states in the post that she cries because she’s happy, sad, mad, stressed and everything in between. Her bf knows that. She’s been with him for 5 years. He knows she’s not trying to manipulate him.
OP, he is being cruel and impatient. HIS emotional response is anger and he can do that all he wants, while you are shamed for crying. And it makes you cry even more. I can’t fathom being with someone so insensitive.
No no no…. whom ever you are marrying you keep your money safe. Go to a lawyer and let them help you protect your assets.
Keep safe!
Tried chopping it up some. When I originally typed it out the formatting didn’t seem as tightly grouped together. I realized I accidentally typed a page of words. My apologies.
Love this …
You have to report him to the police. Next time he'll pull the trigger.
I said working less to mean what you have said here. I agree that this is the best way around it. My partner and I also have decided once I'm qualified to share finances so she gets a bit more most weeks and when she does extra work for her business she runs on the side that that is for growing that business and holiday fund.
No, I get you, sometimes we can be quick to link one thing to another due to assumption. That's why I am very willing to be proven wrong, but I will be damned if I say I'm wrong when I'm right, lol. Not even for the ego, but cus I think the world would be better if we well-informed (cus I clearly will only be dealing with them as long as this convo lasts, then it's up to the people around them to deal with or believe the lies/false “facts”). But like I said, I appreciate you trying to inform me otherwise! It is nice to have a civil debate between someone who is actually trying to relay facts. That, I can always appreciate.
Most women looking for any sort of commitment will bail on a 35 year old man who still can't figure out what he wants.
sings It's me. Hiiiiiii. I'm the problem it's me.
Believe people when they tell you who they are
figured it was not my place to say anything and since then it has only gotten worse to the point where now I don’t feel as attracted as I used to
You can't make her be who you want her to be, but you absolutely get to have an opinion about how she takes care of herself, and if you don't agree with it, you can speak your mind and go from there. It's possible that if you had intervened earlier you could have helped her cut off this unhealthy habit before it really took hold. Now you're unhappy and feel like an ass for feeling this way, but you're not a hostage in this relationship and you don't have to stay with someone you're not longer attracted to.
It's a hard conversation, but you need to sit down with her and explain how you're feeling as plainly but gently as you can. What is she puts on another 60 lbs? 100 lbs? She deserves to know she's losing you due to her uncontrolled weight gain.
No one can “take the pain away” but it'll pass faster if you stay completely away from her. She's incapable of keeping her word and apparently you have some issues too. If you really think about it you don't “want her back”. You want the fantasy of a her who has the ability to be monogamous. That's not the real her. So just keep reminding yourself that this woman has played you a million different ways and that every time you get back together it ends in tears. It's time to step off the merry-go-round and try to stick to people who don't make you insane.
Why aren't we married? No idea.
That's a very odd question and answer pair when you'd just noted down that you're in a mediocre, at best relationship. You let yourself get into this thing where you're with a guy you met at 21 and neither of you have matured or even thought about what you really want, and are just now able to realize “wow, my not-great life choices have led to a not-great life”, and are stuck between being miserable in the way you've gotten used to or throwing things to the wind and possibly being more or less happy.
Good luck.
But if you think “marriage” will somehow make things feel better, you're delusional. You and your partner have both made poor choices and either you BOTH decide to make things better or you resolve to leave.
I'm sick of all those lonely twentysomethings who think sex and kissing solves all their problems.
Dude, you're lonely because you have a miserable whiner mindset, take care of yourself, MAKE YOURSELF HAPPY.
And then think about how to MAKE the other person HAPPY.
You literally are sealioning right now on EVERYONE'S comments.
Projection. Also, I learned a new word.
Sealioning refers to the disingenuous action by a commenter of making an ostensible effort to engage in sincere and serious civil debate, usually by asking persistent questions of the other commenter.
Question for you: How do you tell the difference between sincere and serious civil debate, vs sealioning?
I even literally called out to you “hey you might have seen this as sarcastic, which is totally understandable, I just want to make clear that it wasn't” and you're…. pretending I'm lying? I don't get it.
It feels like you're creating a kafkatrap where once you decide someone is sealioning there's no way for them to not be sealioning unless they shut up.
I don't have to give you a script because people cannot be scripted.
You don't have to. I was just asking for an example to help better understand the point you were trying to make.
And, to a certain extent, making the point that if no such script exists, then the recommendation to go that route doesn't make sense. But that was secondary because I was kind of assuming that you actually had some kind of view of how you thought the conversation should have gone. I wasn't assuming you didn't.
It is a conversation they need to have. It doesn't matter if it goes well or not.
It doesn't? So… we don't care how relationships turn out?
You can't just not have a conversation cause you think it's not going to go well.
That wasn't my point, or at least not my main point. I gave other reasons to not have that conversation, mainly that it was (potentially) not relevant.
I was simply curious how you thought it would go. Apparently you think it wouldn't? Is that your response?
That's the risk of waiting to check sexual compatibility after marriage.
Maybe she agrees to marriage counseling to find out if there's a way to get the attraction back. But if it doesn't come back, this marriage won't work :/
if it were me i would tell them im getting surgery and they can leave if they want. you can make your own desicion but its YOUR body and you should get to make it look how you want
Because people are self-absorbed and selfish. I remember a post – not sure if it was on here or AITA – where an OP asked about her roommate not doing enough chores, and she casually mentioned that one chore she's doing is cleaning up the dog's messes in their home, which led to people wondering in the comments why that would be a regular thing. She then casually explained that the dog would be let out for a few minutes in the morning and then would have to stay home alone for 8 hours a day. No wonder it shit inside every other day! But the OP also said something like “Stop fixating on the dog, that's not what I'm asking advice for, the dog is living (that's a direct quote) his best life!”
People are so deluded. The dog probably went nuts with happiness whenever someone came home, so dumbass OP probably told herself “He's so happy to see me, he must love living here with us!”
And block him in 2 weeks when it turns out that she really wasn’t ready for a relationship.
He shouldn't have to choose. It's not his fault.
Having your kid act like a big happy family with homewreckers is a very sad thing. She is doing what she needs to do for her mental health. OP made the choice and now has to live! with the consequences. The fact that he even talks to his dad and his wife is concerning imo. She is finally choosing herself and I love that for her.
Just tell him it's fine to change the cuddling position when his hand starts to feel uncomfortable. It's fairly frequent for people to allow themselves to be uncomfortable without complaining at the beginning of a relationship.
Oh no, he'll be right in the middle as soon as the ex knows that he showed the texts.
I kind of suspect the new bf will be the one forgotten as it's the newest relationship with the least hurt feelings involved.
If the OM is married, expose to his wife.
Why would she need to know?
He’s allowed to be upset, you screwed up, it’s not up to you to say “not to a point for him to be mad at me” you were the one to get blackout drunk, you were the one who wasn’t able to answer the phone, you were the reason he got the scary phone call at 3 in the morning after not being able to reach you all night. That’s scary. He’s allowed to be upset. There are consequences to your actions and you have to face them.
I don't think she would have taken it so wrong as to negatively affect her more than her dumping you in the first place did to her. I feel for you. I do hope that you don't wait around for her. Get right in your head and look for someone who doesn't want to hide you.
The difference between porn movies and books is that those are real people in the movies. The fact that you aren't seeing porn actors as real human beings and not just sexual objects for consumption, and that you could possibly compare real human beings to pretend characters in a book is really an indictment of your views on pornographic actors
Clearly you two have relationship problems. But no, the “pull out method” isn't “pretty effective”. Not even close. So you have to bear some of the responsibility for this. However, from this point on your only real option is to get into some marriage counseling to try mend the rift between yourself and your wife. You've got three kids who need a functional, intact family.
It’s just guess I’m busy with school and work, and I’m not gonna lie, those things come first. That’s my future. He said he understood that, and then when he got angry because I was going to Disney for spring break and didn’t have time other than studying before an exam the following week, he got frustrated.
its about the feeling of being emasculated (is that how is written?)…cheating is hurtfull but when is with your same sex, make you feel you were not enought and in the mens basic/logical mind (im a men myself) we felt like he had something we dont and you wanted always but if its a girl a few things change
not only the “fantasy” of the treesome or girl-girl experience,
the knowing that we can not give that to you
the man chased you before for a period of time prior so the partner let that slide while with a woman, it can be just an emotional instant thing….and few more like that
I do not have a solution to this particular problem. Where did I suggest any solution. I merely disagreed with the post that this was a choice she made. I suggested that it was not a true choice as choosing what one wants for a meal.
Body shaming women is as old as the dawn of time. In fact even many names for female reproductive organs are derogatory.
Well that's what you get for being a disgusting piece of poo?♀️?♀️, your daughter must be so ashamed of you dating someone maybe even younger than your daughter.
Lol, and your older boyfriend is coming for her too, because she like you is another young and gullible target. He knows you won't do anything, just like you're proving in your comments. Just have the threesome, cry about the betrayal as he's loving his time with her and then come back and post about it here. Cheers.
Also she apparently pays 700 for groceries while he pays nothing and only eats them? He's definitely taking advantage
Divorce her jfc
It’s disrespectful to the person whose photos he’s using. She didn’t post them for the purpose of someone using them sexually, and didn’t consent to them being used that way
oh damn, i thought you had finally given up w/ this bs.
at least it's a lot shorter now
She won't be hurt for life. She'll be less hurt if you man up and pull the plug as soon as humanly possible.
Break up with him. What he is doing right now is gaslighting. Basically he is trying to make you feel bad for setting a boundary, and by doing so he's turned it all around to a point where it's no longer about YOUR feelings, but his. HE is hurt, HE is embarrassed, HE is uncomfortable, because of something that YOU did (which was voicing your boundaries/opinion).
He's telling you he's not mad because the truth is that he's got no reason to be mad, so instead he's trying to confuse you by saying something and then showing the exact opposite through his actions.
He's doing this so that in the future, you will remember this whole drama and be hesitant to set boundaries again in fear that he will react like this.
He is literally trying to guilt trip you into keeping quiet in fear of hurting him.
The fact that he can stand there and look at you with a straight face while you cry is a dead give away that he doesn't care about you, it's all about controlling for him.
nope nope nope. have a spine and leave this filth behind. she tries to verbally abuse you then gets mad when you dont take it because she knows she cant do better. please have a spine and leave
Accidents happen. You cannot physically live! someone’s life for them. Like what how did she realistically expect you to keep her from falling? Such a ridiculous take on her part.
I teach horseback riding lessons (an extreme sport) and I was just talking to some adult students about how most of our injuries have nothing to do with horses. For example I broke my thumb when I slipped in my socks on the hardwood floor. My mom tore her meniscus bending down to pick up a laundry basket. One of my students slipped on ice waking to her car and injured her knee. I sprained my wrist shoveling snow. My point is, you can sustain “lifelong injuries” inside your own home. Injuries are part of being alive.
And to circle back around to extreme sports, I don’t blame my horse when I fall off. I don’t blame my instructors either.
Hmmm well.. is there anything that reminds you of him that you can remove from your life? Like a picture, or text messages? I find when I wanna get rid of memories of somebody I delete past messages, block them on social platforms, delete past chats, and get rid of photos
My advice is don't put yourself in this situation. How would you feel if you went over to your girlfriends and some random guy was sleeping on the couch?
Be fucking fr rn. You don’t love him. Run far away and wear protection Jesus Christ
Touché