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sgemma chat
Date: October 10, 2022
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I think you should re- think this relationship. Your partner sounds like they aren't much fun.
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So you would agree to meet her. I felt like I’d be done.
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As a mother then you should also know that the wife could have thought about any of these things before she had sex with someone else.
Its not a knee-jerk reaction to leave a cheating dishonest spouse, its the right decision. I do feel bad for the kids but I guess they just have to grow up knowing their Mom ruined any chance they had at a nuclear family life.
So sick of all the cheater defenders on this subreddit
Sorry but being a racist is not a side effect of being an alcoholic
?? Together a year and alrdy engaged and have a kid. No problems here
I mean he is clearly looking at all this stuff regardless of if he is “following” the account. He might have accidentally followed it but he didn't accidentally look.
Maybe sit for couples therapy?
Personally this restriction would put a huge strain on any relationship, especially if one partner has a much higher libido than the other.
I hope that you guys get this worked out in a way that both of you are happy
Reading this, I was like wow she sounds childish…..
She got upset, after the fact about the way you proposed. It wasn't in a setting she thought it should be, you didn't say enough words, and then you didn't take her out on a holiday where most everything is closed and do something special.
Most rational grown adults know going any where on Christmas is pointless. Where you going to go Mc Donalds?
Then she test you, like she hasn't grown out of her high school years where immature teenage girls play silly games to see if a boy likes her enough, and when you failed the childish test, she got mad again. Instead of being a adult, and saying I would like you to go with me, and do these things with me so we can spend time together, her and her immature sister decided to play head games.
She can have her family to vent to, and tell inappropriate topics to , as the conversation where she talked about your manhood with her friends. But you can't make a inappropriate joke to your friend. And if I remember correctly you said the joke was about what happened to you while having sex. So without further context I assume it was more a joke about you instead of her. But either way it is still a double standard, as she is allowed to do those things but you're not.
She also goes to her mom and sister with your problems instead of talking to you privately about it. Grown adults in grown relationships do not involve their family in the problems with their partners. They act like a adult and go to their partner about the issue.
You worked 16 hour days, to provide, and pay bills, while she was pregnant, which means you couldn't be there all the time through it, and had to miss some things. It sucks, but what were you suppose to do? Being a adult means paying bills etc, and working is how you do it.
Really I think you are better off that she gave you the ring back. My advice is you need to separate. Be there for the child, get a lawyer, and establish custody agreement, and move on. She is not ready for a relationship, or being a adult .
Very fair point. Thank you for taking the time to comment!
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I’m sorry but your comment has very naughty undertones in my head.
And girl do I appreciate it! I know you must be able to see all the ways in which I am naive, but I do wanna be accurate here. He didn't cause the spiritual awakening, no one did, and as dumb as it sounds that losing my virginity was the thing that did, it certainly wasn't the drugs anymore, as I have been at that for a very long time compared to my little life. You don't know the twisted up ball of nerves that I was for years straight. Hugging my own family started to feel too intimate. There was no trauma to make that make sense. Just letting my sister show me how to roll up my pants made me so anxious it was literally UNBEARABLY ticklish for some reason. And so was holding my own cats, and I fucking love cats. I was not myself. That's mental illness, baby! Having sex definitely opened me up inside and I will forever be grateful for that. Because it reminded me that people can be simple, loving creatures that aren't constantly thinking all the things I was letting actually ruin my life. Don't mistake it for teenage theatrics, although you make a lot of good points. My internal life has been EXTREMELY complex, most likely due to mental illness and trying drugs too soon. Please don't take it all as teenage theatrics. I may never be able to accurately get that nuance across and it frightens me. You are completely correct in that I was looking for stability, and he was probably looking mostly for control. But don't get it all twisted. I'm a very talkative person and unfortunately my level of intelligence is what he mistook for maturity, as self-indulgent and naive as that sounds. I know I'm still just a little baby
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There are two questions .
1 Are you prepared to walk away from him ?
and if there’s not a circumstance where you will
Do you realise you are allowing him to treat you poorly ?
Its NOT your fault that he does what he does but you are trying to change him and he won’t and justify staying and putting up with it coz you “ love him”
there is no point drawing a line in the sand and if the person steps over it drawing another line
You are not happy .
it’s time to stop drawing new lines
Thank you for your comment, it means so much to me.
Ouch.
I'm the one that makes way more in my relationship, and my parents did the above points I highlighted when I mother had to stay home from complications in birth of my youngest sibling. They had these conversations openly in front of us kids.
I make twice what my partner does, and we will have equal access to money as I described above once we get married. Not before.
The cheek of this boy oh lord. So he doesnt have a house and is probably paranoid about what youre doing while hes at work so thats your fault. Sounds like your on your way to accepting the blame for everything while he gets a free ride.
How does this attitude not turn you off? You offer free accommodation, likely contribute more financially then he does, do the chores and have an income without having to work full time. What is he bringing to the table?? Does he have a really good job or what? There have to be other fish in the sea who have a level of emotiobal maturity that matches their age.
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this is going to bug the shit out of me but how the ever-loving fuck did OP manage to meet her husband and maintain and advance a relationship with him all the way to the point of marriage if she's THAT bad at making friends and “being around people”?
i mean, i see this a lot. people say “yeah, i'm not good around people, i have no family, or friends, or social circle………. just my spouse!” like… HOW?
You're clearly no expert. Trying shutting up about it.
She doesn't get to forbid you. It's controlling and abusive.
I would tell her simply that she can either trust you, or she can leave you, but you're not letting her insane insecurity dictate every aspect of your life. You will go out with your friends, and if she gives you so much as another word of argument about it, she's not your girlfriend anymore and she won't have to worry about where you are. Truthfully, I think this will end the relationship, and good riddance if it does.
Very hot Q: did he sleep with Ali?
Great response.
ONCE AGAIN I AGREE WITH YOU. BUt it's still messed up that her child is asking for help and she won't even bother to offer a compromise. “Listen I am just burnt out after taking care of your brother and I know you are probably sick of having your brother impact you life but I can do what you are asking. I'll take the kids for a few hours so you can get a peaceful shower and eat uninterrupted but emotionally that's the best I can do.”
She is perfectly within her right to do or not do whatever she wants. The daughter is also within her rights to be PISSED. She sounds like a cold mother that I would want nothing to do with. Nothing better than a mom who didn't want kids and is bitter about it now.
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So while you were a pariah, pregnant and miserable at your parents house with everyone thinking you were a cheater, he was sleeping around?
After he just unquestioningly believed another woman over you?
I don't know. That's a LOT to forgive. I would not, in my hearts of hearts, ever be able to fogive that.
You either need to find a way to let this go, or break up. Your reaction is out of all proportion to the “offence”.
Break up with her now. She had sex with some one else.
Maybe, maybe not. If she is turned on by that is the only salient fact, no further analysis needed.
I’m confused about what you think YOU did to ruin the relationship? He ghosted you for 6 months last year, then ignores you all night and somehow you’re the one who ends up apologizing to him? I’m sorry but he sounds like a shit boyfriend. It shouldn’t take him over 24 hours to respond to you. You need to be upfront with him about how his behaviour made you feel and if his behaviour doesn’t change then I’d find a new boyfriend.
Also what the OP doesn’t get is that having her “enormous” friend looking out for her, she feels empowered to intervene in random altercations. However, assuming (knowing) her friend has her back removes his agency. He no longer gets to fairly decide whether to become involved as he is now obligated. Big guys frequently get unfairly taken advantage of, as pseudo bodyguards for little shit disturbers. He may be on probation or in some other tenuous position that could result in him going to jail for just being near such an altercation.
You can be uncomfortable but she can also be unwilling to go out of her way to dodge him. You both are entitled to your feelings and if they are not compatible then you need to break up and move on.
Not even your boyfriend , move on
These are the vibes I’m on, but is that not a horrible, vile person to be? When I have such strong relationships with her family etc is taking them to hospital appointments, training her little bro at gym, all sorts
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My advice, OP, is to make new friends. Maybe some couple friends with your wife.
You made some bad choices, but ultimately, the one choice you made the really matters is that you married Lily. She's your wife. If you love her like you say you do, leave the past on the past.
Seriously, you lose touch with people in your life. It happens for loads of reasons and it's OK. It's OK to miss them and the fun times you had, but there needs to be an adult realization that, even if you were to reconnect, nothing would be the same because you're no longer on the insulated world of college. And since this is true AND it's true that your wife set very reasonable boundaries given your indiscretion, it's best to just look back on those memories with a fondness for what was and leave it at that.
Even contemplating returning to this clique is disrespectful to your wife and the boundaries she's set within your marriage. You already agreed and cut ties. Be a man of your word. Don't be selfish and try to convince her this is OK or no big deal. To her, I promise you, it is a HUGE deal. So huge it is likely be a deal breaker. if you're not trying to hurt her or your marriage, just don't go barking up that old tree.
Rip the bandaid.
Rip the bandaid.
Sex is a vulnerable act, especially for women. If you don't feel safe or that you can trust him, it makes it difficult to want to make yourself vulnerable in his presence. You don't say if the consent issue happened more then once, but with the addition of being rough, I would be hesitant to continue things with him.
Teaching someone sex means helping them learn technique, not having to constantly explain to them that you are a person and they need to respect you. One doesn't need “experience” to talk to your partner about what they like or take the time to make sure they are into rough stuff before injuring them. A partner putting their pleasure above your consent/well being is huge red flag. There's the possibility that he could be taught to respect you and your body, but who wants a partner who has to be taught that instead of one that innately understands people deserve respect.
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This is such a good point! I might bring a kid into this world and they might have an awful life. We will try and give them every advantage but there's mental and physical illness on both sides. They could become a drug addict. The world might actually be ending and adding any humans is a bad idea. Etc.
It is also in some way selfish to have a child. It is also a biological imperative and that bich is naked to ignore. If I could choose not to want kids, honestly, I love my child-free life. But there's a part of my soul that wants a baby or child more than I can admit.
Some of these little things you are reading too much into. It seems like he’s trying to find a balance between not hurting your feelings and not encouraging you further. I mean, the man has flat-out told you your feelings are not reciprocated. It doesn’t get more clear than that.
If you’ve gotten to a point where this FWB arrangement is more hurtful than beneficial, you need to give yourself the chance to find someone you can have a healthy relationship with and walk away from this dude.
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You're a lawyer. Redline the pre-nup to say that included in what he would owe you is your opportunity cost of being a working lawyer. Not just the salary.
He’s potential cheating isn’t the issue here. He is an alcoholic who routinely gets blackout drunk. You need to end this. It won’t get better.
If you weren't turned on you are incompatible. Take it for what it is. You are feeling valid emotions. It's ok to just say goodbye, it was a mistake. Don't make it a big todo, just resolve it and quick like.
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…I guess why does it matter? Don’t reply if you don’t want to.
…I guess why does it matter? Don’t reply if you don’t want to.
“It wasn’t the first time he’d been told that” when you told him that you felt “really anxious having to tell him to stop and ‘no’ all night.” So he has, in fact, had enough experience to know better. He just does it anyway.
Contrary to what the other person said, I don't really think you're overreacting by being upset/uncomfortable. Masturbating to normal women live is kind of weird tbh. I would also be shocked by it. It's ok to be upset by it, and it's ok to set boundaries surrounding it. It's absolutely ok and reasonable to be hurt or uncomfortable by you SO masturbating to other women who are simply posting innocent pictures of themselves. Some men even go to lengths of messaging, repeatedly commenting, or even sending money (to OF accounts ofc) to these women on stuff like instagram. Plenty of women consider that cheating, and that's ok and reasonable.
If it's something that is a deal breaker for you, then it is. If you want to work it out, then I'd suggest setting boundaries. If you don't think you can get over it, it isn't an overreaction to move on and find someone else that doesn't do that. You can find someone that doesn't do that
Exactly this.
Being bigger and stronger means you have to be aware at all times of not hurting the other person. And he really should be doing that if he really cared about you.
Not incompatible, just at different stages in life. There's nothing wrong with maintaining a long distance relationship for a few years until you finish med school. When you're ready to find a job you can look for places around her hometown. Doesn't have to be IN her hometown of there are no job openings, but within driving distance for a daily commute to work. If you love her an want to stay with her, there's no reason why you can't accomplish both of those things. Follow your career path AND maintain your relationship.
Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it. I’ve thought about suggesting couples counseling since this came up and will put more thought into it now that you’ve mentioned it. ?
Thanks a lot, I really appreciate it. I’ve thought about suggesting couples counseling since this came up and will put more thought into it now that you’ve mentioned it. ?
You need to leave her alone. Sending her things and trying to reach out to her sister and friends? That’s very cringe and if I were her there’s no way in hell I would ever get back with a guy who doesn’t know how to take no for an answer.
She was right to block you on everything, you need to move on.
If he is doing something that makes you uncomfortable you need to make it clear that his behavior IS NOT going to fly. Far too many boys think it’s acceptable to act like walking naked ons. They continue to because they get away with it.
Also, he’s probably not dumb. He should know better than to keep you awake when you have to work
Definitely cops then. He is a violent individual. Your parents can get a restraining order, if he shows up again, he can go to jail. Going to a psychiatrist and getting involuntarily committed are not the same. Your parents need to start the process. Has he always been like this?
Right. I will get on that and if you want, I can report back with the response..
I mean, this subreddit usually goes right for cheating (guilty of making that accusation myself) but like… to me, this screams cocaine.
Maybe my perception is skewed, but to be fair, I've done a lot more drugs in bathroom stalls than sex acts ??♀️
Just decline and let him figure this money thing out on his own. Stay away from your father – especially anything involving money. He really seems up to no good with regards to money, especially your money.
Maybe it is a language thing that I just don't get and we see this differently. I see it as writing off a car… When the car has become too damaged to still be of value you get rid of the car and buy a brand new, functioning one. And I think thats what he sees of me when he says it
Is she outgoing and speaks many languages? What does she plan on doing for money? Going to Europe on a solo trip isn’t as easy as people think. Someone tried this a couple months ago and was devastated at how unfriendly everyone was because she was a tourist trying to become friends with locals, and that when she learned tourists are a pain in the ass to locals. Your girlfriend is going to hit a naked reality check I think. Good luck.
Your relaxed and easy communication is because she has no stake in this game. She's leaving. Why stress or press about anything here when she'll soon be gone.
I think the only reason she is saying that things won't change is that she is young and naive… and hasn't travelled yet.
Say goodbye.
If she looks you up when she gets back… YOU might not even be the same person.
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Upset at both.. and can’t bring this up w family and friends. The that’s why we’ll try the therapy. It’s our last hope. I don’t like seeing him triggered throughout the last year. So if therapy doesn’t work I’ll have to let him go 🙁
Are they in the US? If so, contact your state’s department of senior services – this is elder abuse and a crime.
I think this is a completely understandable mistake that you have made in your circumstances. An incredibly vulnerable place to be in at a particularly difficult time to deal with grief.
However I think you’re correct, you need to make sure it doesn’t happen again. It’s not fair to anyone involved, including yourself.
I am truly sorry for your loss and I hope things start to get easier for you all.
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5 months passed, i still feel like im more attached even though i feel his love surely. trying to let go of toxic traits, and that in a relationship not everyone can feel the same way always, but it doesnt have to mean anything bad.
Yup we had sex before here mom is the type to want a gift if I give my gf’s gift like when you have to basically win the father over with gift she told me she wanted this after going to church and said it was her idea for a long time I know it isn’t after one day you say it was on your mind for months but want to start out of the blue makes no sense to me
I'm past menopause and don't have discharge. I usually don't wear underwear but I always make sure the ones I wear are clean.
Id try and talk to her one on one. She sounds sheltered and to be honest her roomate will continue to walk all over her. Let it be known that unfortunately you cant continue the relationship but that she needs to evaluate her relationship with her roomate otherwise she will never be in a relationship.
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The 4 red flags you listed are pretty interesting.
First one fits her so well. I was shocked when you said she would view time with friends and family as me choosing them over her. She frames a lot of things like this. Friends, family, gym, work. And, yes, she really does not like to be alone. It’s almost like she views the world as a zero sum game where any minute I spend doing something is a minute lost with her. While I guess that’s technically true, I didn’t know the default option was time with her.
Second one, some matches some doesn’t. I think she understands there’s grey area with people. In practice, I’m not sure it works out as she’s cut a lot of people from her life. But yes, she does keep a list of any argument we’ve had or any time I’ve messed up. Her memory is amazing to recall details from years ago. Lastly on the black and white thinking, I think that’s why it’s so naked to apologize to her if I do something wrong. Because it feels like if I acknowledge one mistake, then she will use that as a foothold to say I’m all bad and thus owe her a more in depth apology. Maybe that’s why she doesn’t apologize often.
Third red flag fits for the most part. She has cut people out of her life that are not immediate family, but for good reason and there was no conflict. With friends, there is no direct conflict, but the way she talks when they aren’t around is black/white.
Fourth one fits. Do normal healthy people not have this happen with their wives? I’m sometimes still shocked by what upsets her, but I’m more surprised by how much some things upset her. I think this is the one thing that makes me feel like she’s controlling. I don’t want to go meet the new neighbors because what if my wife blows up over it for some reason? Things like that.
Thanks for your response. Can her behaviors be corrected?
Oh, of course. He feels so bad that his uncle made it weird
Should have let them in the glove box and say nothing. Don't confront people when you don't have good proof. They can't make a lie and become more aware to hide better.
It's very hot for reddit not in the situation to put 1 and 1 together. It's look suspicious. It could even more suspicious if more thing add up (Like he never buy underwear before for you).
He doesn’t deserve her?? More like she doesn’t deserve him.
About the interests part, i do know it's okay to not share a lot of interests but it just gets me sad not being able to share that part of me with him, its like there's a whole different side of me that he doesn't get to see. And the attraction part, I think I'm losing feelings for him. Its not really about physical attraction but I kinda get the feeling that Im only into girls whereas I thought i was bisexual before. Thanks for your insight tho!
You are the company you keep. If you keep friends who insist on binge drinking you will find yourself doing so as well. You need to enable yourself to make good decisions and remove yourself from environments where you’re likely to engage in that behavior.
I’m just going to jump in here to say that when we bicker I tell my husband to suck my dick all of of the time. (I’m a woman, we are not gay, he has -to my knowledge- never sucked on a dick)
So is it possible that there is a bigger underlying issue that you need to resolve with him? I saw another person comment that he’s in fact not your bf but a fwb?
Maybe take some time to reflect. If this is going to be a boundary for you then that is fine and understandable – communicate it!! And move on from him if you’re no longer interested.
Laundry is one of those chores that's often best if you each do your own. Especially if it's going to cause him stress worrying if he'll ruin your clothes.
yeah, but also it's really very hot, because he's my main support system, and we always have the best time together, and attend all kinds of events and stuff, and have plans made for things months from now. it's also become a habit, i usually write all sorts of random thoughts i have during the day, and we'll have all kinds of philosophical discussions that really mentally recharge me. and it's nude knowing i'll have to give up the most fun part of my life…
he also helped me stay out of drugs and addictive patterns, which were my usual method of coping with the lack of warmth and positive social interaction with people and i have no idea what i'm gonna have to replace that with now… and i know it sounds like i'm making excuses, but it's a very complex intertwining of things and if it wasn't for my brain being this way, this would just be the best friendship i could ask for.
i wanna talk to him about this too, and we kinda started but it was interrupted so no conclusions were reached, but his initial response when i said i feel like i should stop communication was that it seems like a bad idea to cut off contact instead of just resolving the thought pattern. and idk, i see a point in that also…
If she wanted to, she would. Making someone feel loved is not a bad thing and investing in improving a relationship is not a bad thing. You’ve let her know what makes you feel loved and she refuses to do it. It will be best to move on. You will find someone who will make you feel loved.
I'd like to point out that you're in your mid 20s, legal adults,bhave been together for over half a decade and don't need their blessing. Only blindside them if you think it's safer to do so
We're both procrastinators, but for me, if i want something i want it done. For him is a bit of both.
I think we'll have the talk about whats comes next, where he will/can go to.
Thx for your advise. I really needed to vent.
You are too young to get married and you will regret it no matter who comes to the wedding. Believe me, I know. I got married at 19 and had a baby and by 23 I was divorced with a 4 year old. Live! with your boyfriend but wait to get married. There is no rush. If your relationship is real, it will last whether you have a wedding or not.
First, it is unusual to have a partner, unless they are in the military, who travels for months at a time.
You said this trip has been planned for years, but you also say you do this kind of thing frequently. I understand how it's naked for a SO to be away from their partner for an extended amount of time. I'm in a long distance relationship, and we still see each other at least every month. Going months with no contact would hurt both of our hearts. Maybe, that is what she wants to feel, like you are going to miss her? Because, it sounds like you are fine with breaking up with her, and you sound a little cold towards her feelings.
If this trip is important to you go, but acknowledge that she means something to you and her feelings matter to you. If they don't, you need to end things.
The second sentence of the second paragraph you already should terrible. No one should be around that “she looks 15” type crap.
As someone said. Make the choice to get your life in order and seek therapy.
The second sentence of the second paragraph you already should terrible. No one should be around that “she looks 15” type crap.
As someone said. Make the choice to get your life in order and seek therapy.
Thanks so much for your perspective, it really helped put me a bit more at ease as far as my husband’s side of things are concerned. I completely agree with you that interrogating him about this situation/confronting him about it would cause some damage, but I’ll definitely be reminding him about the boundaries that need to be set to where I’m more comfortable with their working relationship.
It's naked being a musician and dating another musician, especially if you are both doing well. Just roll with it. Embrace it and absolutely do not consider riding coattails. Maintain a good level of support for each other and have fun.
It wasn’t a mistake. You’re being walked on. Time to walk on.
We have a great relationship outside of sex, he's supportive and kind and loves me endlessly.
Is he that way when you don't have sex too? I don't mean if you were to meaninglessly deny him sex for months at a time, but if you for example don't have sex for a week due to illness or everyday stress, is he still supportive and kind and loving?
I really want to offer you some sort of constructive advice here, but I just can't convince my brain to overlook the fact that your husband seems to basically coerce you into sex all the time.
You seem to recognise this, at least somewhat, but you don't really acknowledge it and you still just go along with it because everything else in your relationship is fine. But is it really? Is your relationship fine if it is only fine as long as you remember to reward him with sex when he does basic chores such as grocery shopping? Or as long as you eventually take pity on him when he pouts away after you turn him down the first time?
Don't worry bout it.
The rest of us do.
I think it could be helpful to talk about kids. Whether you’re both on the same page about them and how you envision raising them. Religion for sure if one or both of you are religious. And financials. Definitely finances. You need to discuss if you’ll have separate accounts and a joint one or how ever you both agree to set it up and how transparent you’ll both be with each other regarding finances.
During these conversations, your core values will likely come into play regarding trust, honesty, ethics/morals and other things. I’d like to think you’ll realize what core values you have in common and then what values you might differ in, but then how you’ll work together to find a solution or comprise regarding various topics.
I think these conversations will help you both decide if marriage (to each other) is the right decision.
Wow, your shallowness is only exceeded by your horrible sense of humor.
Good for your bf.
Kate has ISSUES.
You are as stupid as you are arrogant. Bye.
Is there enough money in your budget for both of you to go away for the weekend?
Looks like it’s obvious why he feels like he can’t tell you this. That “I actually have a X person in my family so I can’t be Y” makes me believe you’re homofobic even more. And it’s porn…. You’ve never watched any form of lesbian/gay porn in your life? If you’re okay with him keeping up his porn addiction and even looking up escort sites, why would you care about the type of porn he’s watching?? The woman doesn’t become you in the straight porn any more than the shemale’s dick becomes yours.
Your boyfriend needing pregame for sex is a huge red flag. That means he can't have sex without thinking of porn.
People normalized porn and never bother with the negative aftermath.
Totally become best friends with her. That way you can be all surprised when your “best friend” goes after your guy AGAIN. Seriously, why do you want to be “friends” with someone who threatened your relationship? Get rid of the matchmaker because all she’s doing is looking to create drama. Get Better Friends.
My dad spent 2 months in jail after throwing a paper plate and plastic spoon at my stepmom. Just something to think about.
No idea why, but a lot of women do this.
Pfffftt…. He's 42? It reads like an angsty 13 year old.
Personally I’d feel relieved and laugh at the situation. They’re fucked man, even if they dated briefly they probably barely know each other. It’s most likely not gonna work out. Meanwhile you made it out.
That imo looks SOOOO toxic as a relationship, you listed so many red flags and reasons why you should get together again. Juste let it go and find someone else. Also find somewhere else to live!, let him move on too
I know that’s true I don’t know why it has taken me so long.
Well, at least you got them back so you can enjoy them. Hope things go better with the guy.
I was thinking that,and I also think the power and control he is feeling about forcing his girlfriend into sexual assaults is what gets this sick piece of shit off.
There is no point to waiting longer. You already know you are incompatible both sexually and also in terms of expressing affection. I think you should calll it off now, before you waste either her time or yours.
50/50.
You mean EX I hope
Take it however you want, but you're not correct because I refuse to engage in your little semantics debate. Her husband is being verbally abusive, you're playing devils advocate because you're trash, and that about sums you up. You're a worthless noisemaker with nothing of value to say, live! and in real life.
i didnt think anything of it bc i know sometimes he gets up for water and comes back
Ask why she told you. Where to go depends on her motives. She possibly told you for transparency and so there would be an explanation if she changed her behavior towards you. Overall, I think she may have recognized an inherent incompatibility that makes for a poor romantic relationship but is fine for a friendship, or she's worried that if she got involved with you and it ended poorly, she wouldn't be able to go back to being friends and she values your friendship more than taking that risk
If you have to basically continuously try to convince someone to marry you or commit to you fully after 6 years, they are not the one for you. He doesn’t want to marry you
They usually are, they pick their victims well