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Date: October 26, 2022
I think intent plays a huge part in this particular scenario and her husband clearly never communicated what his expectations were for swinging. It was not her jam, and he didn't explain anything. Just expected her to know.
I agree that what she was doing is not swinging, but I'd also be reluctant to label her a cheater. This is her husband's fuck-up.
He owes you.
You’re asking her to blame herself for not being able to get pregnant…
Well, guess what? You are trans and that’s why. How about you care about her feelings instead of being concerned about yours? Infertility can be very naked for some woman.
At one point I blacked out
I know I didn’t turn my bum to face that guy on purpose.
sounds to me like you don't know shit.
you want to avoid this kind of thing in the future, where you're being told you did stuff that you don't think you did? then grow up a little and stop getting blackout drunk.
if you can't maintain a pleasant buzz without getting hammered, you have a problem. if you can't enjoy alcohol without taking it to excess, you have a problem. this goes for both of you.
meanwhile, you can't reliably say what you did or didn't do, or what you meant or didn't mean.
He wants what he has now, not what you want in the future. You might as well start looking now for someone who wants what you want.
so we can buy a trailer home
Wait… what? Is this a thing these days? Genuinely curious, no judgment.
when we could be putting our name on a MORTGAGE together this year.
Buying a home together along with a mortgage IS a very big step in any relationship. Moreover, living together may dramatically change the dynamics of your current relationship as you start spending much more time together.
People are different. I’m getting the vibe that she isn’t defensive because she knows she’s the father. And she’s afraid of getting a paternity test because she is afraid of him being at least verbally abusive if she even brings up the subject.
Go straight to the police.
No, not everyone deserves a chance for anything. Being mentally ill doesn’t excuse you for the consequences of your actions.
Forgot to mention, she started powerlifting last year and he isn’t her coach or anything. They’re under the same person in the group.
Unpopular opinion here, genital mutilation is never okay. Since the damage is done, I would ask hubby if he would be open to going to therapy so you both can move past it.